I felt a rumbling, my whole body was slightly vibrating.

What was going on?

I woke up to the feeling of hitting a bump on the road. The road. I was in a car. 

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

My hands were starting to sweat, my whole body had chills running up and down, breathing became impossible. 

After everything I did to avoid this, it was happening again.

I heard a voice in the distance, but I was too distracted in the numbing feeling going through my body. Before I knew it, I had accepted the darkness.

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

That sound was too familiar. I've been here before. The smell hit a nerve. 

I was in a hospital. 

My heart monitor started to accelerate, the beeping was driving me insane.

"Hey Lana, you're okay. I'm right here," said a familiar voice.

I opened my eyes only to find these intense grey eyes peering down at me with concern.

"Gray, what happened? How did I get here?" I asked looking around. 

"You fell asleep half way through the movie, I thought I would drive you home," he sighed, rubbing his face tiredly.

"YOU DID WHAT?" I yelled, feeling extremely frantic.

Was he crazy?

Drive me home!

How could he?

"Lana-"

"Get out."

"Wait, I don't understand-"

"I said get out!" I yelled louder this time.

A nurse rushed in at the sound of the commotion.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm going to ask you to leave for the time being," she said. Thank you.

"Lana... come on," Gray looked at me with hope in his eyes, almost pleading. 

I turned my head to the side. I couldn't deal with this right now.

My family came to visit only moments after Gray had left. I had to pretend being asleep, I didn't want to deal with more pity. I had asked to be alone. 

Before I went to sleep a beautiful doctor walked in. I was almost shocked by hoe pretty she was. Pretty, smart and successful... she seemed to have it all. She looked so familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Miss Meyers, I'm Dr. Roland," she said with a warm smile.

Ah, there we go. Explains Gray's genetic structure. The good looks ran in the family.

"It's nice to meet you Dr. Roland," I mumbled. What was she doing here? She wasn't my doctor.

"I know this may not be the best time or place, but I have a request from you that I think will prove to be beneficial to both parties," she said.

I nodded for her to go on.

"I need you to stay away from Gray," she said coolly.

What?

If I had a glass of water I would have preformed the spit take.

"With all the respect ma'am, your son has been the one around me," I defended myself. I was not taking the blame for his persistence.

"He's a fighter like that. He won't stop until he gets what he wants. The truth is, I don't think you're the one for him. I need you to push him away. Gray's lifestyle might prove to be harmful for you. Just look where it got you today," she pointed out.

I was so not having this conversation right now. It was probably the second worse conversation to have, coming in right after the bird and the bees talk.

"Don't worry, I'll let him know," I said. This made her smile before leaving me be.

The truth was, I was nervous. I shouldn't be right? I spent all my time pushing away people. Gray was different, he kept trying, he didn't abandon me. Maybe I stopped pushing him away because I liked how he made me feel. All good things come to an end eventually. I should push him away now before I fall too deep. Before he realizes what a mess I am-- if he hasn't already. I should make sure I don't risk becoming even more broken than I already am.

My father came to pick me up in the morning. I slept horribly. I kept thinking of what Dr. Roland said. Of Gray. Of what I had to do. I felt horrible.

"Hey kiddo, you feeling fine?" he asked seeming to realize I was not myself.

I nodded. "Yup, let's leave this place. I hate hospitals."

"I know honey, but I think you should talk to that boy before you leave," sighed my dad.

"What?" I asked, clearly confused.

"Gray has been waiting outside since the moment he brought you here," he pointed his thumb behind him.

No way.

Noticing my dumbfounded expression, my father's face set. "I'll call him in."

He left the room and Gray walked in. He looked exhausted, a little scared, and almost hopeful.

"You okay?" he asked. He really did look worried.

I nodded. "Why are you still here?" 

"I'm sorry I did this to you. I swear Lana, I would never hurt you intentionally," he took a step forward, his eyes pleading me to believe him.

He was a good guy. I knew that now, that's why his mother was right. 

"Gray, you seem like a nice guy and all, but I don't see what ever we have going on ending well," I said. I immediately wished I could take back my words with the hurt expression he now sported.

"Why not?" he asked, his lips set into a straight line.

"You shouldn't be with me, I'm so messed up-"

"Don't say that."

"I am! You and your perfect everything. You're too good for me, you deserve better. You-"

"You don't know what I deserve and what I don't. I'm tired of people deciding to control my life..." He paused, his eyes darkening. "What did my mom tell you?" 

"What?" I gasped. 

How did he know?

"She talked to you didn't she? I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom," he grunted.

"It doesn't matter Gray, were not meant to be," I repeated.

He was beautiful, I was not in his league. He was popular, I was at the bottom of the food chain. He was loved, I avoided. He was normal, and I obviously was not.

"No." 

"What?" 

What did he mean by no?

"No," he said again more firmly. "I was stupid and gave up on you before, but I'm not that same dumb kid anymore."

"You... what?" 

My vocabulary seemed to diminish to one word: what.

His face reddened like he said something he shouldn't have. "I uh..."

I think my lack of words disease was contagious. He swore under his breath.

"I've always liked you Lana," he admit.

I. Cannot. Breathe. 

Was I hearing right?

He inhaled deeply, his face determined. "I always thought you were the most beautiful girl ever when I met you in junior high. When I actually had some courage to ask you out in freshman year, I found out about Ryan Evans. Your brother had made it clear that you were off limits, I don't blame him now that I think of it. Guys... most of us don't have the purest intention when it comes to women. When Ryan tried asking you out we found out he had transferred to another state. I got scared, so I didn't."

What the hell was wrong with James? I needed to give him a piece of my mind. Is that why guys avoided me like the plague? 

"When James graduated I thought why not, but you would never look at me like the other girls did. Sometimes I thought you didn't know my name, I thought I would get rejected. You had the perfect family, the perfect record, you were unreal and I knew if you found out who I really was you wouldn't like me. So I waited a while longer, but then you got into that accident and I knew I missed out. You were so absent and hurt and I just remembered thinking how I wanted to end it. I kept seeing you around the hospital. I noticed you were distant from your family, I knew the feeling and I wanted to make it stop. I finally grew some balls when I overheard you talking to your dad the day we met at the hospital. I decided that no matter what, you were going to smile again," he admit. 

His face was filled with different emotions. Embarrassment, shame, wonder, hope... I wondered how my face looked now. I knew for sure I was red.

"Say something," he whispered.

What do I say to that?!

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

I needed to say something. Gray just spilt his whole heart out. I owed him a response. 

I tried again. "Why me? I will just bring you down with me." 

It's true, I was a wrecking ball.

"It's always been you. You make me want to be better," he said.

I laughed. "How is that? Trips to the ER don't seem as an improvement."

"I've lived in the ER growing up, this is nothing new," he shrugged.

"But I'm different,"

"I like different."

"No, it's not a good different... I'm broken."

His face softened as he took a step closer. "Let me fix you."

"You can't," I shook my head. I was beyond repair.

"I want to," his face set looking more determined than ever. 

Oh god, he was serious.

"And when you realize it was all that, an effort?" I raised a challenging brow.

"For you, it would all be worth it," he said, a soft smile on his lips.

He did not just say that! Darn you Roland! Every girl no matter how big or tough wished for a corny romantic fantasy. He was playing the role perfectly.

I ran a hand through my hair and let out a chocked laugh. I couldn't believe I was actually considering this.

A knock on the door interrupted this chick flick. 

"Oh... this was probably a bad time," said my dad noticing the tension in the room.

"No, it's fine I was just leaving," I shrugged, sliding to the edge of the bed. "And Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay."

"Okay okay?" he asked with a grin that reached from one ear to the other.

"Okay okay." I returned a matching smile.

Maybe it was time I tried to be happy.

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