I woke up in my room with both my hands pinned to my sides.

Oh my God! Nakidnap na naman ba ako ng hayop na iyon? In my panic, I shot up in bed and screamed.

"Fuck! Cara, are you alright?" someone gripped my right hand and pushed my right leg down. My left hand was restrained to the side of the bed.

"What the hell is this? Take this off! What are you doing to me!? Sino ka?"

"Cara, stop it! Matatanggal na naman yang IV mo, and they have nowhere to put anymore!" he scolded me, but I was more focused on why I was being restrained.

"Get off of me! Get this restraint off me! Don't touch me!"

"Jesus, Scarlet, you're hurting yourself! Stop it!" he jumped on the bed and straddled me, pinning my hands down on my side. Pero dahil hindi niya inupuan ang mga hita ko, natuhod ko sya sa kanyang pinkamaselan na male part, physically.

"Aaah! God daammiiit, Cara," he shut his eyes and groaned through gritted teeth. He stiffened and fell to my side, crouching and cradling his crotch. Hindi sya gumalaw ng ilang minuto habang humihinga lang ng malalim. Natigilan din ako sa pagwawala ko habang pinapanood syang nakangiwi sa tabi ko.

"Jaxx, I... I'm so sorry. Does it still hurt?"

"Oh no! Not at all, everything's just dandy," he said sarcastically, still in pain. "You think?!"

"E ikaw naman kasi." Naawa ako sa kanya pero hindi ko napigilang matawa. Sinamaan nya ako ng tingin.

"Can you please take this thing off me?"

"You've been having bouts of crying and shouting since you got out of the recovery room," he explained as he freed my left wrist. "What's going on, Scarlet?"

"Jaxx, I.... It's...," bumilis na naman ang tibok ng puso ko. "I'm sorry. I can't. I still can't." I shook my head.

Pero napagtanto ko, hindi na gaanong mabigat ang loob ko. Oo, masakit ang nangyari at nakakarimarim isipin. But this time, hindi na ako gaanong takot at tila bang tanggap ko na. Hindi pa lang siguro ako handa na ibunyag sa ibang tao o aminin kay Jaxx kung ano nangyari talaga.

Knowing his temper, I'm more afraid of what he might do. He has the means, the money, and the connection, but if he does something rash, I might lose him. And I'm scared to lose him again. Hindi ata kaya ng puso ko.

"Cara, please. I know it's Collin. You've been screaming his name. It's breaking my heart to hear you beg him not to..."his voice trailed off. "I promised you I wouldn't watch the video, but if you don't tell me, I will have to. I have to make sure my actions are justified," ani ni Jaxx. Sabi ko na nga ba!

"Anong ibig mong sabihin na so that 'your actions are justified'? Jaxx, don't get yourself involved. Gulo namin 'to!"

"I'm already involved, Cara! Have you forgotten what Grace said? This was an imaginative ploy by both of them to get between us and break us apart, so they can have us for themselves. This was not just about Collin and you. It was never just about you and Collin."

"What do you mean?"

Mabilis siyang bumaba sya ng kama nang may kumatok. Pumasok ang nurse na may dalang gamot.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you when you're ready."

"But I am ready!"

"Nope. You have to tell me what happened. A tit for tat." He shook his head and motioned the nurse to get on with her work. She smiled at him na para bang kinikilig. Bruha 'to, nandito ang girlfriend niya!

Ay teka, hindi pala. Ex pala. Pero ako ang ina ng anak nya!

"Good evening, doc. Name and birthdate lang po, doc?" the nurse inquired before giving me the medications. Pinigilan ko sarili ko na irapan sya. Dumating na rin si Mommy at Val habang nagbibigay ng gamot ang nurse.

"How are you?" tanong ni mommy. "I hope she didn't give you much trouble, Ben."

"No, she was just sleeping. And sleep talking but otherwise, she's alright," nginitian nya ng bitin si mommy at Val. He didn't tell them the truth, and I was thankful. Ayoko na madagdagan pa ang pagalala nila sa akin.

"Anyway, my shift is done. See you tomorrow. Goodnight." He pressed his lips against my forehead at lahat kami nagulat sa nangyari. Nakita ko nanlaki mga mata nila mommy at Val, pero hindi sila nagsalita. And I felt smug noong nakita ko pati si ma'am nurse nagulat ng slight.

Why did he just do that?

---

Bumalik na ako sa trabaho the following week. I wasn't allowed to walk on my right foot for the next few weeks kaya nakasaklay at splint pa rin ako, pero kayang-kaya na ang trabaho. Hindi pa rin kami masyadong nag-uusap ni Jasmine. I wanted to talk to her pero siya ang laging umiiwas. Then one day, nag leave na lang sya. Sabi ni Kaloy, it was a family thing.

Back to normal na sana ang buhay ko nang naabutan ko na lang si Jaxx sa callroom namin after our afternoon endorsements. He was still in his work clothes – light pink, long sleeved dress shirt na nakatupi hanggang braso, taupe slacks, leather shoes. Naka skinny tie pa sya, which was clipped to his shirt. He sat on one of the chairs facing the door, and rested his elbows on his knees while fiddling with his phone.

Alam kong nakatunganga akong pinagmasdan ang muslces sa braso nya na gumalaw but he was still so damn hot and I can't believe I let him go! But I will have him back, I will win him back! I will –

I almost lost my balance when his eyes snapped up to capture mine and gave me that panty-dropping boyish grin.

"Aray ko naman, ma'am! Mamamatay yung kuko ko sa bigat nyo e!"angal ni Sean, my junior resident, nang matapakan ko sya dahil napaatras ako sa tingin ni Jaxx.

"Wag ka ngang OA! Arte nito," I grumbled.

"Hey," he stood up and straightened his tie. Napalunok ako. Totoo. Totoong nandito sya.

"Ayun naman pala, kaya natameme si ma'am!" ani ni Sean nang makita niya si Jaxx. "Sir, good evening. Are you here to pick up ma'am Scarlet? Are you her boyfriend? I'm Sean, her bodyguard." Nakipagkamay sya kay Jaxx who just looked at me for confirmation.

"Tumigil ka, Sean, isa-Sunday duty kita!" I hissed at him. Jaxx chuckled and scratched his eyebrow. Ganyan naman sya kapag naiilang o kinakabahan. Leche kasi tong si Sean, epal!

Lumapit sya sa akin habang si Sean nagkukunwaring may ginagawa sa tabi ko. Sa kaba at inis ko, tinulak ko syang papalayo. Epal na, chismoso pa!

"Are you done? Do you want to get dinner?" Jaxx asked in a low voice at biglang nanuyo lalamunan ko habang nakatingala sa kanya. Ang lapit nya kita ko na bawat hibla ng buhok nya sa kilay!

"Yes, we're done. She's done. Please, date her. She needs you," sabat ng epal an residente habang nililigpit mga gamit ko at inabot ang mga ito kay Jaxx. He was just as confused as I was pero tinanggap nya lahat ng inabot sa kanya. I was so embarrassed!

"Uh, thanks?"

"No problem, sir." He gave him a salute before he turned to me and pushed us out of the room. "Have a good night, ma'am!"

Once we were out of the callroom, I turned around to apologize for Sean's behavior. Pero iba ang lumabas sa bibig ko, seeing him carry my things and looking like a meal.

"What do want for dinner?"

"I was planning on making it. Pasta or Fajitas?"

"You'll make dinner. As in, cook dinner?"

"Unless you plan on eating cup noodles, then yeah, I'll have to cook it," he shrugged his shoulders. He stopped walking and faced me. "Your kitchen or mine?"

"W-why are we going to my kitchen? There's nothing in my kitchen."

"Okay, mine then."

"No."

"Where would you have me make dinner, sa daan?" natawa sya.

"Uh, we can dine out."

"Okay, where?"

"I dunno. You choose."

"Is that your final answer?" he grinned.

"Yeah, I'm not sure where I'd like to eat. I have no preference right now."

"Okay. Let's go," he motioned to the open elevator. When we got to the parking lot, he led me to his car. He was now driving an Audi SUV, still in black.

"What happened to the X5?" I asked.

"It's still there," he answered shortly as he opened the door for me and helped me up. He offered his hand and let me grip on his forearm for support. His hand hovered close to my waist as I was climbing up his car just in case I lost my balance, but he didn't touch me.

Tahimik lang kami sa kotse niya and it got me to thinking again. The dream I had at the post anesthesia care unit had been recurring and it always ended with me telling him how much I loved him. Nagigising akong kinikilig and each time I think about it, the more courageous I feel. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko but I think he will ask me about the incident again. Hindi pa rin ako handa, pero konting push na lang.

Besides, I owe it to myself na maparusahan si Collin sa ginawa nyang pambababoy. Tama si Johann, no one else can do it for me. Ako lang. He was still at large kaya hindi rin ako mapalagay na umuwing naglalakad mag-isa. I now take a cab to and from work. Bahala na na kailangan kong gumising ng mas maaga para makapag book ng taxi before rush hour kaysa naman di na lang ako magising.

Natauhan na lang ako noong paakyat kami sa parking ng condo nila. "Teka, bat tayo nandito?"

"You told me to choose. I chose to cook dinner in my home," he reasoned, not looking at me but smugness was all over his face.

Son of a biscuit! I opened my mouth to argue pero sinara ko na lang ulit. Wala naman magagawa ang makipagsagutan pa dahil nandirito na kami. Pero pakiramdam ko talaga nagoyo nya ako sa choice na binigay ko sa kanya.

"It's just dinner, okay? I'll take you home immediately after. Is that alright?" he said softly as he showed his victory smile.

I had no idea kung ano binabalak nito ni Jaxx, but I trusted him kahit na mukhang pinagdududahan ko sya. Pikon lang ako na naisahan nya ako kaya ganito mukha ko ngayon. So instead of replying, I just pouted and crossed my arms causing him to he laughed lightly.

Malaking pinagbago sa condo niya: from the wall colors to the furniture. The TV was also different. It was bigger and his entertainment system was sleeker. The kitchen was basically the same and he probably memorized where everything was because he worked seamlessly. There was no wasted step or unnecessary rummaging.

"I'm really going to melt before I finish making dinner if you keep on staring at me like that, Cara," he said as he caught me staring. I quickly turned back to the TV, which was showing something about stock market na hindi ko naiintindihan.

"Are you bored? Do you want to help me?" he offered. Hindi pa ako matagal naghihintay and I wasn't bored at all. I just liked looking at him kasi ang gwapo nya.

I groaned and scolded myself internally sa kalandian ko. Get a hold of yourself, Cara.

"Sure."

I sat on the breakfast nook and finished the vegetables he was cutting while he cut the meat in to thin strips. We decided not to make the pasta anymore. Instead, he made chili con carne to add to the dish. Hindi na ako gumalaw sa kinauupuan ako. After he cooked, he placed the food in front of me. Immediately, naglaway ako.

"Damn, these are so good, Jaxx!" I said after I took the first bite of my fajita. "Since when did you cook?"

"Since high school. But you knew that, right?" tinaasan nya ako ng kilay before shoving a forkful of beans into his mouth.

"Yes, but I didn't expect your food to be this good. Why didn't I know? Di ka man lang nag-share."

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" he asked, half teasing, half serious. I could sense the tension rise so I immediately changed the topic at buti na lang nakipag cooperate siya.

Hindi na namin binalikan pa ang topic na past namin, and we didn't talk about the future, too. It was all mundane things – work, Justin, Uno and Val, his mom. But I knew that this was something more than just dinner. I had a feeling he was itching to ask me about Collin again. And I decided that, if he did, I'd still turn him down.

To my surprise, hindi nya ako tinanong. After dinner, he took me home, wished me a good night and gave me a cheek kiss before walking away. That left me glad that he didn't force me to talk.

Pero bakit parang nabitin ako sa aming usapan? I wasn't sure na gusto kong sumama sa kanya pero ngayon na hinatid nya na ako, ako naman ang naghahanap sa kanya?

Cara, make up your damn mind, girl!