Nagising ako with sloppy wet kisses all over my face.

"Mommy! Wake up!"

"Justin! I missed you so much!" He squealed as I hugged him and pulled him up to the bed. Saka ko lang na-realize hindi lang si Justin ang humalik sa akin, may golden retriever din na naka sampa sa kama at dinidilaan mukha ko.

Sigurado ako hindi ko iyon aso. Wala ako sa kwarto ko at hindi ko iyon kama. I looked around, looking for something familiar and I found it: a wall full pictures of Jaxx with other people. I was in his room, on his bed, and it was his dog, Michiko, who was with Justin. No wonder the room smelled so comforting. I had one of the most restful sleeps and it probably was because pagod na pagod ako, pero tingin ko kasi nabalot ako sa amoy ni Jaxx. It smelled like home. It was warm and masculine, but soft and tender at the same time.

"Mommy, why are you still in bed? Why are your eyes so poofy? And why is your voice like that? Why are you in Papá's house?" he scanned my face and then his eyes roamed the room. He sat up in bed and noticed my right foot on two pillows. "Look, at your foot, mommy! Did you break it?"

"I'm not sure, love. Who wrapped it like this?" I asked, touching my leg. It was secured on a splint, wrapped in an elastic bandage, and the blue ice gel on top of my ankle was already at room temperature. Michiko climbed up on the other side of the bed and rested her head on my left thigh, listening.

"Hello, Michiko. How have you been? I missed you, baby girl!" I scratched her head and her ears. She wagged contentedly and rolled over to show her belly.

He shrugged his shoulders while scratching Michiko's belly. "Maybe Papá? He had a cast on his hand before. And he let me write on it, and I drew a jackal on it. Can I write on your cast, too? What's that? Is that a very big sock, mommy?"

"That's not a sock, anak. It's a bandage. Wait, how did you get here? Did your papá let you come here?''

"Uh-huh! And Michiko helped me. He told me to wake you up to eat." Justin said before he continued to prattle on what he and Jaxx did in the kitchen, what they cooked, and how he got a burn on his forearm from touching the pan accidentally. It was already covered it with two Band-Aids. I nodded and smiled at how proud he was, telling me what he did. Ang daldal nya na talaga, mas naging confident sya at masayahin when he started spending time with Jaxx. Iba talaga ang influence at effect ng may ama. Hindi ko napigilan na medyo maluha.

Ano ba naman, Cara, hindi ka pa ba tapos umiyak? Sabi ko sa sarili ko habang pinunasan ko mga luha.

"Hey. Glad you're up. How are you feeling?" Jaxx leaned against the door, hands his short pockets. His intense gray eyes surveyed my face with worry. I wasn't ready to face him yet. Alam kong gusto niya ako tulungan pero hindi ko sya kayang harapin pagkatapos ng nangyari.

Hindi na sya lumapit pa. He just stood there waiting. Umiwas ako ng tingin at tinakpan ko sarili ko gamit ang duvet niya. He will never want me after what happened. He does not deserve someone like me. I don't deserve him.

"Scarlet." Patuloy kong pinagmasdan ang mga litrato na nasa dingding nya. Napabuntong hininga na lang sya.

"Please, at least eat something. Ate Tessie will be down stairs if you need anything. She'll be back to pick up the tray in thirty minutes? Is that enough time for you?"

I turned to see a tray on the TV table set up beside the bed. There was soup, pasta, and some vegetables, and a glass of water. There was also a bottle of blue Gatorade. Kumirot ang puso ko. He still remembers.

I nodded. Wala akong ganang kumain pero gutom na gutom na ako. At naalala kong sabay sila ni Justin gumawa ng pagkain ko. I forced myself to look at him pero tumalikod na sya at palabas na sila ng anak ko ng kwarto.

It was the same thing for the next couple of days. Umuwi na ako sa amin pero wala pa rin akong kinikibo kundi si Justin at si Ate Tessie. Lahat sila bumisita na. Jaxx and Val were there daily pero hindi kami nag-uusap. They just sit in my room doing their thing, waiting for me to talk. Nagmomonologue na lang sila pero the most I could do was nod and smile. Pagkatapos ng ilang oras, uuwi na rin sila.

I didn't want to talk about what happened. Hindi pa ako handa. I don't want their pity, more so their rejection, if ever. Gusto ko lang tanggapin ko sa sarili ko ang nangyari. That it wasn't my fault. Na kahit ano pa man rason ni Collin, hindi ko kasalanan ang nangyari.

We broke up for a reason. I filed a restraining order against him for a reason, and it was to protect me from something like this happening. Kung kinagalit niya iyon, hindi ko kasalanan dahil he attempted to do something I didn't want. He deserved that suit. Just like he deserved the harassment case I filed against him. Just like he deserved to go to jail this time. In fact, he deserves to rot in hell!

As if my desire was heard, Johann visited me one day and I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike the rest of them, hindi naman kami friends so I guess kaya wala sya masyadong attachment sa akin and the tone of our meeting was purely business. Kaya rin siguro kinausap ko sya.

He walked into the room and placed his iPad on my desk and attached a keyboard and started searching for something. He was in a classy white dress shirt that seemed tailored for him, a pair of charcoal gray chinos that ended just above his ankles and black Gucci loafers. He was very attractive too. Too bad he was gay. Swerte ng maging boyfriend nito.

"Cara? Hello?" kumaway sya sa akin at natauhan ako.

"Sorry. Ano yun?"

"Alright. Again, here's the thing: Collin still did not uphold his end of the agreement despite the deadline we set. We have the option to demand more from them. Do you want to just wait and see if he still will do it within the week, or do you want to do something more?"

"I want him dead."

He stopped whatever he was doing for a second but he regained his composure immediately. He leaned back and intertwined his fingers. He looked at me with a face that gave away nothing. "That's... achievable, though a bit drastic. However, you won't be happy to hear that I'd advise against it."

"Why? Hindi naman ako mismo papatay sa kanya e."

"Because that's the easy way out," he pointed out casually. "Don't you want him to suffer a bit? Or a lot? Gagastos ka pa para sa hitman. Dear, gastusin mo na lang yan para sa legal counsel mo and I assure you he will have hell."

For the first time in several days, natawa ako kahit na it was just a chuckle. But it was the first sincere positive response I had to anyone, aside from Justin.

"I would very much prefer that. Non-bailable incarceration."

"That's attainable, too. But you'll have to make a testimony." Tiningnan ko sya sa mata to see if he was bluffing.

"H-ha?" biglang umurong balls ko. That means I'll have to expose myself. That means people will see what was in that malicious video. That means my family, friends, and Jaxx would see it. Then, I might lose him.

"No, hindi pwede." I said quickly, not even giving it a second thought.

"Yes, pwede, at yes dapat. If you want him to go through hell. Otherwise, you'll maybe just need that hit man to make him take the direct route."

"I'm not forcing you to testify but I'm trying to make you see the consequences of your choices. I'm opening doors for you, but you can only choose one. You don't have to give me an answer tonight, but I hope you pick wisely, Cara, for your sake. Nobody else can do this for you. Ikaw lang."

Napasimangot ako sa sinabi niya, pero tumango ako. I will think about it. I will definitely think about it.

"So, that's all I'm here for." He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "You have my number. Let me know once you've decided."

"Johann, where is he?" pahabol kong tanong bago niya sinara ang pintuan.

"Collin? They're still looking for him, though a flight ban has already been issued."

Pumasok si Daddy at Mommy sa kwarto ko just as Johann stepped out. They were dressed casually because they today, they we're going to the hospital as doctors. They were coming with me as my parents. Mom picked up my bag from beside my table and turned to me.

"Ready to go?"