I sat up straighter when I heard Pancho talk. Pareho lang yata kaming lost, walang alam at nagamit lang.

Alam ko na ang sagot kung bakit ako kinidnap ni Collin, pero ano naman kinalaman ni Grace dito? And who the hell were Damien and this Pancho guy? I wanted to know what in shit's name was happening!

Instead of answering him, Grace turned to me teary-eyed. "Cara, I am so sorry. I can't—I know you won't believe me, but I swear on my father's grave I did not mean for that to happen. It was not part of the plan Collin and I had. He wasn't supposed to do that. And I know I won't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you."

Hindi ako gumalaw o nagsalita. Images of thirty minutes earlier suddenly flooded my head at hindi ko napigilang lumuha.

"What the fuck is this deal, Grace? And how the hell did Damien get involved?" Pancho asked through gritted teeth. He was still furious.

"Shit." She closed her eyes and sighed. "It's a long story."

"And I have all night. And she's not going anywhere, right, er, what's your name again?" he looked at me.

"Cara," I replied with a voice worse than that of a frog's.

"That's settled then. Now, you better start talking o baka gusto mo sa presinto ka na magpaliwanag?"

"Okay, okay," she raised her hands. "Okay. Collin has been obsessed with her since they met in college –"

"Shit, this entire thing goes all the way back to college? Seriously?" instead of replying, Grace just nodded and continued.

"After they broke up, he was so pissed that she filed a harassment case and a restraining order against him. And he was so pissed that Jaxx beat him up badly. He insisted that he was her side piece but I was with Jaxx then, and I knew that he wasn't cheating."

"Fast forward to when you and Jaxx got together, and then I was the one who got really pissed and jealous. I admit I was jealous, and I wanted to break you guys up. So I was so relieved that he left for the States and heard that you guys broke up for whatever reason.

"So then, I met up with Jaxx whenever I was in New York or Philly, trying to win him back. But he wasn't over you and he wouldn't kiss me. Heck, he wouldn't even touch me! He was miserable yet he didn't want anything to do with women. Because he was still so hung up on you.

"One day, I heard you were pregnant with his child, but then you miscarried. I could not help myself, Cara, it was devious and, thinking about it, nahihiya ako sa ginawa ko. But I wanted him back so bad, so I told him that you had the child aborted. I knew it was a miscarriage but I thought, I thought that if I told him you got rid of your child he'd hate you and he would love me again. Because he always came back to me.

She tried to reach for my hand but I pulled it away. She was the reason why Jaxx was so mad at me. She manipulated him again, this time, into hating me! This bitch!

"But I was wrong. He still did not want me back. In fact, he did not speak to me for months after that. I knew he was still hung up on you, Cara. Ganyan naman sya e, diba? Akala ko he would always come back to me. Akala ko, he will realize that he still loved me, that we were meant to be," she let the tears fall from her eyes.

"He loved you, Grace. So much that it broke him when you hurt him over and over and over again! Pinaasa mo sya but then you'd drop him like a hot potato when someone came along. And you did it countless times! You are unbelievable!" I hoarsely whispered as loud as I could.

"Don't you think I know that? And I regretted all of it! I regretted playing with him. I knew he was the one I wanted but I also wanted to see the world! I mean, I am a model and part of the contract was that I would always have to be away. I needed to do be places and do things that... I don't think he or any of you would understand. I was bound to the agency, to my manager, and unfortunately, I wasn't ready to fight for him that time. But I always loved him. I still do. It was only him. "

"So how did Damien and Collin get into the picture?" Pancho asked impatiently. Grace once again turned to me.

"As I said, Collin has been obsessed with you for the longest time. When I say obsessed, I mean he occasionally stalks you and digs stuff about you. But don't worry, he doesn't keep a shrine of your pictures in his room," she quickly added.

"Since that college incident, he's hated Jaxx but he couldn't touch him because of Jaxx's influence and connections. He knew you and Jaxx weren't talking but last April, he learned that you and Jaxx met again and that he was trying to get to see you again. And that's when it started.

"We hung out at an after-party, wallowing over the sorry state of our sad love lives when he came up with a decision: If he could not have you, Jaxx should not, too. And at that time, I felt the same way. If I could not have him, no one else could."

"So you made a sex video of you guys to blackmail him to not get back with Cara and settle with you?" there was a look of pure disgust on his face. Grace looked down and nodded.

"Jesus, Grace! How – why – shit! Ang tanga mo!" she winced at his words. "How did you get him to even talk to you?"

She sighed deeply and I knew, I just knew may ginawa na naman tong illegal. "I drugged his drink."

"Oh, God, no. Why? Why? Tang ina, why did you do that?" Pancho groaned and thumped his forehead on the steering wheel repeatedly. "Grace, I really, really, really want to hit you right now."

"How could you?" Konti na lang, konti na lang talaga mawawasak ko na mukha nitong Grasya na to!

"I know, I'm despicable! I'm sorry! I was desperate!" she cried.

"You are unforgivable, that's what you are! But then, let me guess. He said no that's why it's all over the Internet."

"Yup. I went to talk to him that night when you visited his condo and I answered the door." She looked at me. "So you could imagine how much I needed to tell you to stay away because I knew if he saw you, he would just forget about everything and babalikan ka niya in a heartbeat. That's why I had to make sure he didn't see you, and that you wouldn't see him ever again. I told you I was his fiancée but you didn't buy it."

"I told Collin about it and he panicked, too. He said that he also had a video of the two of you in Amaryllis na, with a little editing, would look like you guys were together. He said he'd upload it so that Jaxx would get the idea that you're over him and that you got back with him. So he'd give up trying to get you back. Then maybe, he'll get back with me." She said the last sentence quietly.

I ground my teeth and tugged her blazer tighter around me. I was one step to hitting her, but I needed to know. "Who took that damned video?"

"Damien." Pancho cursed lowly.

"But he is innocent, believe me." Grace looked at me when she defended him. "He took the video because Collin was bragging that he'd be able to take you home that night. Damien goaded him and told him he'd take a video for posterity. He didn't know what was going on between you guys. It was merely entertainment for him. In fact, he kept the original video with the audio where you could hear him mock and laugh at Collin when you punched him.

"Innocent? Really? Then why did he help Collin take me? Why did he let him tie me up in bed?"

"I, I really don't know. Di ko na alam kung ano sinabi ni Collin to convince Damien," she shook her head. "I just know he wanted you to make a confession na you guys are a couple and that he isn't a sexual predator, even though we all know he is." She said under her breath.

"What? What did you say?" Pancho quickly faced Grace. Biglang tumunog ang telepono niya at lalong dumilim ang mukha nya.

"Damien," he said when he picked up. Mabilis silang nag-usap at sinabi ni Pancho kung nasaan kami.

"Cara, tying you up or Collin.. it wasn't part of the plan. We were supposed to just rough you up a bit so you'd confess convincingly na kayo ni Collin and that you were not offended. So he won't have to admit that he actually harassed you, otherwise marami nang magdududa sa kanya in the modeling agency and it might be a precursor to someone else filing a case against him."

Pumikit ako at sinandal ang ulo ko sa window. Hindi ko na kayang makinig pa sa mga rason niya. I needed time to process what Grace was saying, to what just happened in the last week, and most especially sa mga nangyari sa akin in the last forty-eight hours of my life.

A knock on the window cut through the silence and a few moments later, Damien climbed in the car and sat beside me. The cut on his eyebrow was opened and was bleeding again. He had a busted lip, a bleeding nose and bloody knuckles. Wala na ang dalawang itaas na butones ng polo niya at may dugo din damit niya.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. "Are you okay?"

Umiling ako. Kung hindi ba naman sya isa't kalahating hunghang? Pano naman ako maging okay?? Nakakainis ang tanong nya, naiinis ako sa pagmumukha nya kahit na tinulungan nya ako ng makalaya. Because if he didn't help them pick me up from the street, then hindi rin sana ako makuha ni Collin at hindi sana nangyari ang lahat ng mga nangyari.

I wrapped the jacket tighter around me and pressed my knees against my chest. I felt so dirty, so violated. I could still feel his hands on me and napaiyak na lang ako. Oo, ang dumi-dumi ko.

"Why did you help him, pare?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't.... I shouldn't have trusted the guy." He shook his head. "I should have realized sooner that he wouldn't keep his word."

"He said you're extorting him over the video and that you want him to confess that he harassed you," nagsimula siyang magpaliwanag. "I know what happened that night, I was the one who took it. It was a dare, nothing more. He said he'd be able to bed you that night. He was already a bit drunk and high, and I just wanted to make him remember his stupidity the day after. That's why I took it. I didn't know he was going to use it against you."

"Sabi niya he already apologized. Well, he tried to reach you, he said, but you blocked him and you wouldn't take his calls. Then, you sent him a subpoena, which he thought was a little over the top. OA ka raw kasi nag-sorry naman daw sya. So when he said na you wanted him to pay for damages and gusto mong umamin sya na, essentially, manyak siya, syempre umayaw na siya. We knew it would be damaging to his reputation.

"I think he deserves it, really, so I said no. But then he used the 'I'll-ruin-your-family' card. So syempre, pumayag na lang ako. Sorry, babe, it was either you or me, and I'm not really a saint. Jaxx is a very good friend but I'm not going to drag other innocent people into this. Pero sinabi ko sa kanya from the start that I have one condition, and it was that he wouldn't hurt you.

"I knew he had a thing for you since that night in Amaryllis, and I also know that he gets rough with women when he doesn't get what he wants. I had the idea that he might hit you when he said 'rough you up'. But I didn't... I didn't imagine he'd do what he did."

Hindi ko sya tiningnan buong time na nagpaliwanag sya. I just stared out the window. Ano pa bang magagwa sa 'sorry' niya? Sa 'sorry' nila? Maibabalik ba ang dignidad ko? Ipapadala nya kaya talaga ang video kay Jaxx?

Teka, san na nga ba ang telepono ni Collin?

"Nasaan ang phone ni Collin? He took a video, sabi niya ipapadala niya kay Jaxx! It shouldn't get to Jaxx! Oh my god, I have to tell them I'm okay! I need to call my parents! I need a phone, please!"

"Jaxx? Jaxx who?" Damien was confused. "Your Jaxx?" he asked Grace. She sighed and took out her phone.

"Her Jaxx. He's hers now," she said meekly as she dialed his number. She put it on speakerphone and sighed again when it started ringing.

"This is so fucked up. How is this such a small world?" he groaned. "That guy's going to kill me, if not Collin will."

Jaxx picked up after a few rings at kahit boses niya lang narinig ko, a different kind of relief washed over me. "Grace, where the fuck is she? Where the hell is Cara?!"

"Jaxx, she's safe. She's with us."

"Safe? Safe is the last thing she will be if she is with you! Where is she, god dammit?!" Grace shoved the phone towards me while I just stared at her in confusion.

"Grace, you bitch, where—"

"Jaxx! Jaxx, I'm right here! I'm alright. I'm safe." I croaked, as loud as I could.

"Cara, love, is that you? What happened to your voice? Are you okay?" tumigil mundo ko when he called me 'love'. Hindi ko mapaliwanag ang saya na naramdaman ko na marinig ang boses niya. For a moment, his voice softened and it was filled with worry, before it morphed back into the rage-filled roar he used when he addressed Grace.

"What the fuck, Grace, what did you do to her? Shit!"

The sound of glass breaking, things breaking and people shouting suddenly blasted through the phone.

"Jaxx, teka, kalma lang!" may nagsalita sa background. It sounded like Seb. "Aray ko, puta, stop it, dude! Ace, patulong!"

"Tang ina! How the fuck am I supposed to stay calm?! Did you hear her? Could you even hear her?" patuloy syang nagwawala sa background.

"Cara, hey, this is Aiden. Where are you?"

"Chino, hey, this is Pancho. Long time no see. We're somewhere in Pasay, near City of Dreams." Pancho took the liberty of answering. "Where should I take her?"

"Pancho...Ramos? What the hell? How the fuck... what in fuck's name are you doing with them?"