My heart began to race faster than the gallops of horses racing. The temperature of the room dropped at tumigil din sa pag hinga si Chino at Uno. Walang kumibo and even the crickets refused to make a sound.

-34.6 degrees. Icy!

Chino cleared his throat and all three of us blinked.

"What is she doing here, Chino?" Jaxx asked. The steadiness of his voice was frightening. Lahat kami nangangamba baka bigla syang mag super saiyan at katapusan na namin lahat.

"Yes, Chino, why am I here?" I asked, my voice a little more than a whisper. The fire in Jaxx's eyes was a direct contrast to the chilliness of the room, pero kahit na nasusunog na sa tingin niya si Chino, ako naman malapit nang maging yelo.

Once Chino regained his composure, his surprise turned into indifference. He didn't answer Jaxx's question. Instead, he took my wrist and pulled me to the living room, disregarding the dagger looks from some demon on the other side of the room. However, the closer we got to Jaxx, the faster my heart raced. I felt his eyes boring holes in my head.

"When was the last time you opened your social media again, one week? Two weeks?" Chino asked as he sat on the couch and picked the remote control to his smart TV. He was very calm or maybe very tired.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Wala pa sa mga kaibigan mo sa hospital nakapagsabi sayo that you seem to be all over the internet, just as the celebrity news vultures are having a field day on your ex-boyfriend and his 'model ex-girlfriend' "?

I shook my head. I stopped myself from scoffing at "Ex-boyfriend and model ex-girlfriend".

Bakit "ex-girlfriend"? Kasi fiancée na or kasi ex because she's a thing of the past na? Chino was teasing me again. I rolled my eyes at his wordplay and the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly.

"Anyway, ikaw lang makakapagsabi if this is edited or not, kasi ikaw yung nasa video. I just pray this wasn't one of the instances when you were drunk as fuck."

It was taken on Emerald's birthday when I went to the dance floor to talk to Maxine. Kitang kita sa video kung paano ako minanyak ni Collin, how he pulled me to a kiss and groped me. Kaso nga lang, I hooked my arm around his neck kaya nagmukhang ginusto ko ang mga pangyayari. Inikot-ikot nya pa ako. Hindi ko na pansin he was hiking up my dress at kita na panty ko sa buong madla.

Kitang-kita.

Thank god I was wearing black boyshorts underwear that covered everything kaya medyo nabawasan ang kahihiyan. At least hindi gutay-gutay na bacon underwear. Baka ang maging isyu pa sa ospital ay hindi yung kalandian ko kundi bakit nagsusuot ako ng panty na mas laspag pa kaysa sa LRT1.

The tabloid clip read something to the effect na mag nobyo kami at hindi raw kami makapaghintay umabot sa kwarto kaya sinimulan na sa club. Ang dami kong nararamdaman sabay sabay – galit, takot, kahihiyan. Nasasaktan ako at nasusuka. Gusto kong lamunin ng lupa pero gusto ko rin sugurin si Collin at dagdagan ng maraming sugat ang mukha niya.

We checked on the comments on the videos. Akala ko walang makakakilala sa akin dahil madilim at pangit ang quality ng video. Pero hindi, sa dami ng nagcomment, merong nag comment na kamukha ng isang doctor sa MGH ang babae. May sumang-ayon. Maraming may hinala, meron namang nanggagago lang.

Hanggang sa may nagsabing kilala nya ang babaeng nasa video. At kilala ko rin sya. He didn't say my name pero halata sa comment nya that he probably would disclose my identity kasi ang pangalan nya ay walang iba kundi Collin Diaz.

"Oh my god!"

"Cars, kalma lang ng konti." Chino pulled me back para maupo ulit. "Were you drunk when this happened? Nasa tamang pag-iisip ka ba nito?"

"Kalma? Kalma?!! Pucha, Chingks, hindi ata yan posible pagkatapos ng pinakita mo sa akin! Are you serious? I was a victim! Minanyak ako ng hayop yan at may gana pa silang ipangalandakan sa mundo? Hindi pa ba sapat na he groped me and showed my ass to everyone without me knowing?"

Then I began to panic. Pano kapag nakita iyon nina Daddy at Mommy? Pano pag nakita 'yon ng consultants ng department?! Or worse, what if the patients saw that? I will lose their respect and all the hard work I've done will be reduced to nothing. Tang ina!

I picked up the closest thing beside me and threw it against the wall. Buti na lang highlighter lang iyon. Kailangan ko ng outlet, kailangan ko malabas galit!

"Cara, stop!" natauhan ako nang marinig ko ang madiin na boses sa likod ko at ramdam ko ang hininga nya sa leeg ko. His lips were so close to my ear I could hear him huffing. The familiar musky- woody scent enveloped me just as strong arms tightened around my waist and torso, clipping both arms against my body.

Bigla akong nanlambot at natameme. Chino was still on the couch, holding a throw pillow for cover while Uno was across the living room hiding his face behind a manila folder. Nagkalat na ang mga ballpen and highlighters ni Chino, pati na ang stapler at mga paperclips.

"Pucha, bagay nga silang dalawa," Uno said to Chino.

"Uhm, excuse me, o-okay, okay na ako." I squirmed and biglang kinabahan na naman ako.

Excuse me? Excuse me?? I mentally facepalmed myself.

He didn't let go immediately, perhaps making sure I won't go into another throwing fit. I felt the beating of his heart on my back before he slowly let go of me his hands lingering on my forearms before completely letting go.

I cleared my throat. "Chino, you have to believe me. Hindi ko iyon ginusto. Nakainom ako but I was not drunk! I remember what happened!"

"Well, if that's the case, then we can turn this thing around and use it against them for violence and sexual harassment," Chino said sternly, his voice was strong at halatang galit sya kahit na hindi masyado nagbago facial expression niya.

"That's right. Pero how do you explain na niyakap mo sya habang nakikipaglaplapan ka sa kanya? I don't think papasa as harassment yung nangyari if you reacted that way," Uno said matter of factly. I was deeply insulted.

"Gago ka ba? Mukha ba akong natutuwa sa nangyari? You don't know how affronted and dirty I felt! How dare you!" I started at him pero hinila na naman ako ng pugita na nasa likuran ko.

"Cara, hold on. He has a point. It didn't look like you tried stop him," mahina lang ang boses nya pero dinig na dinig ang galit at pagtitimpi.

Aba'y, i-hold on mo mukha mo!

"What do you mean I didn't try to stop him? Punyeta, bulag ba kayong lahat? Hindi ko sya hinalikan! And I pushed his hand out of my ass as soon as I could!"

"Jaxx, bitiwan mo ko!" I squirmed and struggled in his grip, tears threatening to stream down my cheeks, but he held on even tighter.

"The video doesn't show that. It shows that you –" nagsimulang magsalita si Uno ulit.

"Fuck that stupid video! I don't fucking care what you see but that was not what happened and I will not sit here and let you insult me or tell me what it looks like kasi hindi yan ang nangyari!" I seethed, naiyak na ako sa galit.

I was harassed and humiliated that night. If that wasn't enough, someone took a video and posted in online na parang ginusto ko ang pangyayari. At ang pinaka malala, the people who mattered to me thought the same way.

"Sige nga, subukan mong manampal, manuntok at itulak ang taong iniikot ikot ka habang nahihilo ka at hindi halos maka tapak sa sahig. Sige nga! Pag nagawa mo iyon, then may karapatan ka nang magsabi na hindi ko pinigilan mangyari iyon sa akin. Putang ina, niyo ang kakapal ng mukha niyo!" I screamed. Wala na akong pakialam kung ano iisipin nila na magwawala ako dito.

"Benedict, let me fucking go!" sigaw ko habang nagpupumiglas.

Jaxx's grip around me immediately loosened. I turned around and before I could stop myself, I slapped him. A sharp resounding sound echoed in the room.

"Tang inang 'to! Ano, nag-aral ka lang sa States, Ingles na lang ang lengwahe na kaya mong intindihin?"

I don't cuss in succession and my mouth was not as dirty as a sailor's pero tang ina lang kung hindi nila ako paniwalaan at hindi nila tutulungan, they might as well eat shit and die!

"Wala naman palang saysay ang pag punta ko rito, uuwi na ako."

He stood frozen in front of me, shock written all over his face. His hand slowly touched his reddened cheek. I didn't care what he thought anymore kasi naisip niyang hindi ko man lang sinubukan manlaban. Of all the people, siya pa ang nakapag-isip ng ganon.

Kung sabagay, limang taon na ang nakalipas. People change and baka naisip nya na pariwara na akong babae pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari. O baka naman hindi siya nagbago at talagang naisipin nyang pariwara naman ako kahit kailan.

Whatever he thought, I didn't care anymore. In fact, I think he can go fuck himself! Magsama sila ng kanyan model ex-girlfriend-now-fiancée! Leche silang dalawa!

I picked up my phone on the coffee table and left the three idiots staring at me. Bago pa man ako maka abot sa elevator, someone held my arm.

"Cars, san ka pupunta?" Chino asked, his eyes were tired but they were full of worry.

"Uwi na. Why did you even bring me here?" I asked him. I was overwhelmed and exasperated. Hindi ko naiintindihan kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Galit ako, nasaktan, nabastos. Pero nahihiya din ako at para bang ayaw ko an munang humarap kanino man.

"Para lang ipakita sakin 'yon? Pwede mo naman sana iforward na lang ang link sa akin at tanungin ako kung anong nangyari? Bakit mo pa kinailangan na dalhin ako rito?" I wiped my tears with the sleeves of my hoodie.

Ay leche. I was wearing the fucking UPenn hoodie Jaxx gave me.

He sighed. "I wanted to talk about it face to face. Alam kong magwawala ka kaya I didn't want you to see it by yourself."

"And it couldn't wait 'til morning? And Justin had to go back to El Valle in the middle of the night? Why was it so urgent?"

"Will you come back to my room? It's more private."

"No," tumigas ulit puso ko. I will not be in the same room as those pigs.

He sighed again. Alam kong pagod na sya but I didn't want to be within a 10-kilometer radius from Jaxx and Uno, if possible. "I'll kick them out and then we can talk?"

"Let's just go to a coffee shop or something," I suggested. He shook his head.

"I can't be seen outside with you. Can we go to Val's?"

"I'll call her."

"Alright. I'll get my stuff, " he nodded and began to walk back to his unit.

"Chingks, can I borrow a jacket or a hoodie?" I took off my hoodie and balled it.

"What's wrong with yours?"

"It's dirty," tumango lang sya and bumalik sa unit nya.

---

Val was already fully awake when we got to her place and she didn't waste any time to ask about the video.

"Pati ba naman ikaw?" I groaned.

"Girl, it's all over social media! And that asshole Collin already told everyone it's you. I'm surprised your consultants didn't confront you about it yet," she said while sipping her coffee.

"He what?! What did he say? Hindi nya ba inamin na sya rin yong nang harass sa akin?" nagpantig tenga ko at na naha-high blood na naman ako nang dahil sa putang inang Collin Diaz na yan. Sasampahan ko talaga siya ng kaso.

"You girls talk while I nap. I'm going to crash soon. I can't see or think straight anymore," paalam ni Chino. Hindi na sya naghintay ng sagot. Basta na lang naghubad sya ng pantalon and humilata sa couch ni Val. Ginamit nya ang throw bilang kumot.

Mabuti na lang kasi nanlaki mga mata namin ni Val at hindi na kami nakapagsalita nang bigla syang naghubad.

"Alam mo kung hindi lang ako naawa sa pagmumukha nya ipapasuot ko ulit sa kanya damit nya. Nabaliw na ata to si Chino at feeling bahay nya sala ko!" Val said, natatawa na hindi rin makapaniwala sa nakita namin.

"Anyway, Collin. What is that bastard up to?"

"Saang kweba ka ba nagtago at hindi mo alam 'to? Ikaw yung involved e!"

"Look, this happened like last month pa ata, bago pa naadmit si Justin. Malay ko ba na someone filmed the entire thing!" I threw my hands in the air. I really could not believe na may gumawa noon.

"Wait, last month pa 'to nangyari pero ngayon lang lumabas, after a few weeks? Kung ganoon, planado 'yon?" she asked, confused. "Pero bakit?"

We were both just as confused kaya kinwento ko lahat ng nangyari noong gabing iyon in the hopes na baka may ma pick-up kaming clue. Kinwento ko na rin sa kanya kung bakit kami umabot sa condo nya imbes nandon kami sa condo ni Chino. By the time we finished chatting, gumising na rin si Aiden.

"Hoy, attorney, baka gusto mong magbihis ng maayos. Hindi mo 'to bahay," tukso ni Val habang Chino ay lasing pa sa antok. Hindi sya sumagot. Pinagsingkitan nya lang kami ng mata.

He picked up his slacks from the floor and started dressing up but not before I noticed that he had a bruise across his right thigh. Hindi na ako nag comment kasi the bruise was partially hidden by his boxers at nakakahiyang malaman nyang tiningnan ko legs nya habang naka boxers lang sya. At saka nga baka ma-harass sya at ako ang makasuhan.

I wasn't checking him out, napatingin lang ako talaga kasi it was a big bluegreen bruise and his skin was so pale, hindi mapagkakailang may pasa siya.

"Okay, so, Cara. Tell me again what happened that night," he asked with renewed vigor. I recounted the events as best as I could remember, and sinabi na rin namin ni Val ang aming far-fetched theories. Pero bumalik ulit yung tampo ko nang maalala ko ang reaction nila just a few hours ago.

"Hey, listen, I believed you when you said you were a victim. Uno may have sounded like an asshole but he isn't – well, he wasn't trying to be one at that time – and he was pointing out something that we should consider if you want to file a suit against Collin. Kahit na may maniniwala sa iyo, character evidence is not a strong as demonstrative evidence. And in the video – wait, don't shoot me yet – it did seem like you didn't mind," he said cautiously.

"I minded nga very much!" I said through gritted teeth.

"I know, I know! Don't fight me, Cars, please. I'm trying to help," paalala niya.

"Are Collin and Grace friends?" Val asks out of the blue. I frowned at her while Chino looked at her thoughtfully.

"Baka. Malawak ang circle ni Grace. Collin and Jaxx knew each other noong first year pa sila. So hindi malayong magkakilala sila, and baka nga friends pa," I shrugged.

"That's something we'll have to look into. And we start our research with Facebook and Instagram!" Chino exclaimed and opened his laptop.

"Ako sa IG. Ikaw sa FB, " she ordered Chino.

"Tss. Tanungin ko na lang si Jaxx masmadali."

I took my phone to help them. Saka ko lang naalala na nakapatay pala ito. Pagkabukas ko, hindi na natapos ang alerts and messages na dumating. At saka ko lang naalala kung bakit sabi ni Chino to keep it off.

"Kailan pa ba lumabas tong video na to? Why is everyone messaging me just now?" I asked them while continuing to listen to the message alerts. I had missed calls too.

"Last week. Pero kagabi lang nagkaroon ng buzz na ikaw yun. Not sure where it started," sagot in Val habang nagtitingin sa IG niya.

"Hindi naman gaanong kita mukha ko diba? I can deny it."

"Actually, now that you mention it, pwede ngang hindi ikaw. Except that na condition ang mga tao na ikaw 'yon," Chino said while pointing at his computer screen. He was not looking through his FB account. Instead, he was reviewing the video.

"Bakit ka may pasa sa wrist?" I asked Chino. Hindi na ako nakapagpigil. Ang dami niyang pasa at kitang-kita kasi maputi siya at hindi sya balbon. Mas lalo pa syang pumuti ngayon dahil matagal na syang hindi nakapag beach.

"Huh? Ah, wala yan. We were playing with handcuffs sa office and na lock sa akin. Magkabilaan yan. Siraulo kasi si Uno," Chino explained while he showed the bruise on his other wrist.

"Handcuffs in the office? Rawr!" Val teased and winked at him. "I didn't know you were into that sort of kink, Chingks." Namula si Chino but he just shook his head.

"You don't want to know what else I'm into," he mumbled and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yuck, kadiri ka," Val hit his right thigh heavily with her hand.

"Aray ko, anak ng tupa! Ang bigat ng kamay mo, Val!" singhal ni Chino. Napapikit sya sa sakit kasi sapul sa pasa nya ang hampas ni Val. It took him a while and a few more curses to recover.

"Anyway, I think there's a way we work around this situation, Cars. It's not that difficult but you have to face the media. Social media and all the keyboard warriors and trolls."

I nodded silently. God, how I loathe social media.