A/N - only 9 more chapters to go, thank you for keeping up! x

I doodled the quote for this chapter and it's on my instagram account. You can follow me there if you like, the link's on my bio! and if you do please drop a message that you are from wattpad, i'd love to know my readers there!

"tum aana, theher jaane ke liye"

31 | Ikattees

It's weird how flowers can be used both in the celebratory moments as well as moments of mourning. They are present in weddings and present in funerals. Some people feel them with smiles on their faces while some people feel them with tears rolling down their cheeks.

Tara came into the latter group. She wanted to tear down every flower that decorated the bed on which Lekh and her were supposed to sleep together this night. For the first time, anger burnt inside her and she did not know how to control this rage. Lekh sat silently on the bed, his head bowed while she stood near the window, too angry to look at him.

She could hear noises from downstairs, her father in law shouting at her mother in law. Every relative pitching in their opinions and taunts and pity. And still, the noise didn't bother her at all because she was too busy concentrating her anger on Lekh. Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to take the blame for something he did not do? She knew he had nothing to do with whatever had happened to that old man's daughter, but still he took the blame. He had a chance to tell the truth about his life, expose his mother but he did not.

When Lekh had admitted to wronging that girl, his father had immediately shunned him. Somewhere, Tara felt, that Ranjan knew his son was innocent and it was his time to protect Lekh. He asked security to take him out. What happened after Lekh said what he said was almost a blur to Tara. All she knew was, after that old man was gone, Lekh and her were taken upstairs by Ramya and Pankhuri. No one said a word.

And now that they were alone in his room, Lekh said nothing. And that made Tara angrier.

She knew she should ask him what was going on, ask him what had happened with that girl, who that old man was, what had Indira done to her and his family. A million thoughts roamed around in her mind. She even played with the probability of that girl being Lekh's lover or maybe, just maybe, Lekh really had done something wrong. She didn't know anything and she didn't want to assume.

This was hurting her; she didn't like feeling this way. She didn't want to think of Lekh being with someone else or him being a person she wouldn't like being married to. So she had to ask him. More than him, for herself – to silent her racing thoughts.

"Lekh." She called out to him from where she was standing, not willing to go near him yet. When he didn't respond, she unwillingly took a step nearer and called him out again.

"Lekh."

Once again, she was unable to get a response out of him. It scared Tara, they had progressed to the start of what could be a healthy relationship, Lekh had started to talk like a normal person. Now, he was retreating back to his previous temple of silence.

Tara sighed, out of disappointment among many other things. She walked to the bed and sat next to him, gently laying a hand on his. When Lekh didn't move away, Tara took it as progress.

"Lekh, talk to me. Please." She whispered softly.

Finally, after a moment of silence, he turned to face her. If Lekh was capable of it, he would cry but he was too weak for it. His heart was too hard, his blood too cold. But maybe the hopelessness on Tara's face moved him a bit, because he finally started to speak.

"I am sorry." He said, "I am really sorry."

Tara pressed his hands firmly, "Lekh. What happened?"

Perhaps, he couldn't say no to Tara, or perhaps he was too tired to keep it in anymore. Whatever it was, this time, alone in his room with his new bride, Lekh started to tell his story and Tara listened.

* * *

"I was sixteen when I met her for the first time. She was the niece of one of the labourers who worked in one of our factories. I met her by luck, really. Kartavya and I were randomly visiting the factory. Father wanted Kartavya to see what would one day be his empire, I on the other hand was just there to loaf around. And she was there to drop her uncle's lunch. She was a year or two younger to me but she was very beautiful. She had my attention instantly.

But that was it.

The next time I met her was one year later. I was seventeen and she was almost sixteen. I was home from boarding school and ran into her while running errands. That was it. It wasn't a movie scene; we didn't fall in love instantly. Sparks did not fly. I was a notorious boy back then, never serious, always creating trouble. I flirted with, surprisingly she flirted back and we got to talking and then we talked a lot. When I went back to boarding school, we wrote letters to each other. She came from a poor family and I came from a family opposite that. We hid our building relationship and fell in love, slowly and eventually. Loving her was easy, she made me happy. We fit together perfectly.

Only our families didn't."

As Tara listened to Lekh talk about this girl Lekh was in love with when he was a boy, she felt jealous. Lekh talked about her with sadness but with love. His strong shell cracked opened for this girl who would have been a woman now. And then maybe Tara would have never even gotten a chance to fall in love with Lekh.

A dark part of Tara was relieved that this girl was long gone. She was sorry for Lekh's pain but she wasn't selfless enough to wish she were still alive.

"What was her name?" Tara asked him.

"Tarini."

Tara could feel that Lekh liked how Tarini's name rolled down his tongue. She also knew this was the first time in several years that he was speaking her name out loud.

Tara scooted next to him and kissed his left cheek. "Tell me what happens next."

Lekh stared at her for a moment before continuing but not before he took Tara's hands into his again and held it firmly.

"A few years passed. We had managed to hide our relationship from our families and everything was going great. Tarini was from a lower caste and I knew my family would never accept her. So I had a plan, I was going to go to college and get independent and leave. And take her along with me. Everything would have worked out, you know, if it wasn't for my mother. She found the letters. And then everything happened very quickly."

Lekh stopped speaking and stared into oblivion. He freed his hands from Tara's and ran his hands down his hair in frustration.

"She didn't even come to me first. She didn't even ask me or talk to about it. She made it her life's purpose to hunt down Tarini and I didn't even know. She got to her before I could even realise that she was chasing her. When I found out, mother forcefully sent me away with father on a business trip. I couldn't even revolt. Kartavya was in the academy otherwise he would have stopped her. She was relentless. Two weeks later after coming back I found out that Tarini died in a drowning accident. I knew maa did it. Tarini knew how to swim. When I confronted mother, she told me she was relieved that the 'lower caste girl' was out of my way. Now I could live a happy life free of such petty distractions."

Lekh stopped. His breathing was getting heavy and he felt so lifeless he thought it would be better to be dead.

Tara kept a hand on his shoulder, unable to find a way to console him. Lekh was out of her reach, he was somewhere else, too wrapped up in grief. She forced him to look at her and stared into his eyes.

"It happened years ago, it was not your fault. Let it go, this burden of guilt is not yours to bear."

She carefully caressed his cheeks, and he let her. He was vulnerable and she just wanted to make him feel better. Tara leaned into him and he wrapped his hands around her.

Lekh rubbed his hands on her back gently and kissed her forehead softly. Tara was right, it had happened a long time ago and it wasn't his fault. But it was his burden to bear, the guilt was over powering. He should have been more careful; he should have not played with the invisible boundaries of castes that this society had drawn. But he was not going to let it happen again, not with Tara. He wasn't going to let Indira harm her in anyway, or the baby. They were his to take care of now and he was not going to let his mother destroy his life for the second time.

He loved her. He loved Tara. And he was going to protect her.

He pulled her to him as tightly as possible and kissed her.

He wasn't letting anyone come in between.