A/N-  Please go through some of these terms in case you do not understand Hindi :

I M P O R T A N T      T E R M S :

Bhai- (here) Big Brother 

Bhabhi - Elder Sister-in-law

Di- Elder Sister 

(feel free to ask anything you don't understand.) 

Much love, Aashix

07 | Saat

We know we are over everything that's happened to us when we can tell our story without crying. We know we are not over it when we can't even bring ourselves to talk about it; and we know we might never be over it if we don't find a way to save ourselves. Lekh could never bring himself to talk about it and Tara understood he didn't know how he could save himself.

When he left the table, Tara turned to Arti. She had started blabbering again but Tara put a halt to her train of words.

"Arti, what happened to Lekh?" She asked seriously, she wanted to know what it was that had destroyed him, what had made him into the man that he was today. What was it that broke him so much so that he had forgotten how to feel.

"Nothing, why?" Arti replied curiously.

Tara shook her head, "No, not that like. What happened to him, in the past?"

Arti stumbled, "Er..."

Tara looked at her expectantly.

"Bhabhi, it's not my place to say."

Tara could see the guilty expression on Arti's face. She didn't want to force out information so she left it at that, she understood that none of the siblings talked about whatever happened with anyone. They respected Lekh's privacy and Tara respected that, even appreciated their loyalty. She nodded and got back to her breakfast.

Her usual diet felt tasteless these days, she even tried eating sour things but that didn't fulfil her expectations either. The only food she wanted to eat these days was anything sweet. She added another spoon of sugar to her already sweetened tea and drank it as Arti spoke about some project she was working on in her college.

Arti was in her last year of college and was studying Biology. It wasn't her choice, her father had forced her to choose science stream. It was easier to find grooms for girls who were from the science stream. They were supposedly smart, but they couldn't be doctors or engineers because they couldn't afford the girls to be so smart that they outrun the boys. Luckily, Arti had adopted to the subject and didn't have many complains, that's not the case always though.

Tara was least interested in what her sister-in-law was saying. She was tired and her attention span had become horrible. Finally, deciding that she really needed some time alone, she took leave from Arti who complained about being left alone again.

"I am not leaving you alone! I am just tired and I need to rest." Tara said apologetically.

"Fine, fine." Arti said prudishly, "Take all the rest you want but gather your energy for tonight! Ramya Di is coming tonight and we need to fill her up on everything that's going on lately."

Tara laughed and started leaving.

"Oh my god!" Arti squealed and Tara turned back astonished.

"What happened?"

"I have been using Ramya Di's room and it's a big mess. She'll kill me if she finds out but I've been so busy with my project I didn't even realise what a mess I made."

Tara laughed, "It's okay. Go do your project, days after this are going to be busy and you might not get much time to do your college work. I'll clean the room."

"Yes, thank you." Arti said sheepishly.

Tara smiled and started leaving.

"Bhabhi."

"Yes?" Tara asked, turning back again.

"Please don't tell Ramya Di about this."

"I won't." Tara promised and smiled absent mindedly as she walked upstairs to her room.

Ramya Di was the second child of the Rajputs' after Kartavya and the most wise and serious of all. She wasn't serious in the way Lekh was, seriousness was his defence mechanism, it came naturally to Ramya Di though. However, in her Tara had found a best friend. She was older and as per customs got that sort of respect but when they were alone, together, they turned into each other's best confidante. Ramya was like a second mother to her siblings, she took care of them like she took care of everything else. She was the responsible one and she practically raised Arti until she got married.

Tara laid in bed and started going through a random magazine. Walking up the stairs had started leaving her short of breath. The life inside her demanded too much energy. Tara rubbed her belly fondly and wondered how the little prince or princess would look like after they were born.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Tara started. She sat and asked whoever it was to come in.

It was Lekh.

Tara became conscious and lost words to speak. Lekh walked to her bed side and opened the drawer of her night table.

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" Tara asked shocked and annoyed. What gave him the rights to go through her personal things?

After rummaging for several minutes and not paying any heeds to her complaints he finally took out a brown paper envelope.

"Can you please shut up?" he asked her rudely in return.

Tara glared at him. Lekh opened the envelope and took out a strip of medicine.

"This is not for you to throw it under a pile of useless things? If you can't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of the baby." He said harshly and took out a pill and gave it to her.

Tara was red and her eyes lowered. She took the medicine quietly and nodded. She bit the inside of her cheeks from trying not to cry.

"I don't know about how dumb you are but I think the doctor did tell you when and how you are supposed to take the medicines. If you need a baby sitter for everything, ask your mother-in-law. I am not going to bother all the time."

Lekh was aggressive with his words and Tara could never speak with the same harshness. And while she was mad at him for being so cruelly blunt, she also realised he was right. She couldn't even remember to take her medicines. And she needed to take them for the life that grew in her. If she was going to be so careless how in this world was she ever going to be a good mother?

Needless to say, her confidence level was down in the pitch blackness of a gutter.

Lekh left immediately after she had taken the medicine and banged the door while leaving. Tara's eyes burnt and she finally let the tears come. She reasoned the mood swings were making her so sensitive.

How was she going to live with this man. If he was so aggressive with her, how was he going to be with the baby. Tara didn't want to believe that he'd be strict with the child but all evidence stated otherwise. She didn't want her baby to grow up with a man who couldn't go soft, especially when that baby was going to call him it's father.

Funny how Lekh had become so broken that he was becoming the people he hated. He was becoming his mother, he was becoming his father. It's a moment of pride in a person's life when they are told they have taken over their parents, but not for Lekh. For Lekh, it was the biggest form of insult.

Tara laid on her bed again as her mind dived into several thoughts of concern and hurt. Her heart drowned in it and her soul was entrapped. She had no out.

* * * *

Someone wiped her forehead with a wipe, the air of the fan suddenly hit her body sending a cool vibe down her body. She felt cool, composed and comfortable. She slowly opened her eyes to find Ramya staring down at her.

"Ramya Di!" Tara sat up and hugged her best friend.

"Your fan was not turned on and you were sweating horribly. You looked uncomfortable and it's not good for the baby."

Tara's jaw dropped. She was shocked.

"How did you...?"

"How did I find out? I have been pregnant twice Tara, I know a pregnant woman when I see her."

Ramya said sincerely. She smiled at Tara empathetically, "Is this why she is getting you and Lekh married?" she asked, like all the members of this family, Ramya was well acquainted with her mother's tactics. She perhaps even understood Indira better than anyone else.

Tara sighed. "Everything is happening so fast."

Ramya smiled at her in sympathy, "You should have called and told me."

"I know you keep busy and with the kids and your in-laws I know your life is hectic. Plus, there's nothing to talk about. I am in such a helpless position, talking won't do any good. It's not like we can stop it."

"Talking won't do any good and it won't change anything, but if you tell me about your problem, Tara, you won't have to carry the burned alone. It's unfortunate that you married in this family, I know my mother us cruel and I can't apologise enough."

"No, I am glad I married into this house. I loved Kartavya, still love him. my husband died proudly fighting for this country and I found a best friend and a family here. A hard family is better than no family, you know."

Ramya looked ashamed. Tara was an orphan, she didn't have any blood relation except his brother and his family. Her parents died when she was younger and her brother married her off at a young age.

In India when a girl marries a man, his family becomes hers. It's said that the first step the woman takes into the house of her husband's is permanent. After that, only the dead body of the woman is allowed to leave to never return. And when the bride's family visits the groom's, they are not even allowed to drink a drop of water in that house. That is how they are supposed to show their respect.

Although, Tara's brother never really bothered to visit. He would call a few times every month but everything sort of disconnected after a few years. He got busy, he got a family of his own. Tara was not family, at least she wasn't anymore. That's how it's supposed to be for a woman, she's supposed to be drifted from the ones she loves.

Tara often wondered how it would have been if her parents were still alive. She had little memory of them but she remembered that they dotted on her. Would her mother have called her every few days like Indira called Ramya? Would her child be the apple of the eyes of her parents like Ramya's children were of her in-laws?

"I'll do anything to protect this child." Tara finally told Ramya, "And if marrying Lekh ensures that stability of my baby, I am ready to do it."

"I know and I am so proud of you. You are a very strong woman and I know you are going to be an excellent mother." Ramya said encouragingly.

They talked more about everything that had been happening and caught up on Ramya's life. It had been ages since they last met. Ramya was last here on Kartavya's funeral and Tara was not in the state to talk then. Since then they had only exchanged a few words on phone. Tara knew Indira was keeping an eye on her and if she expressed herself to Ramya, Indira would go mad. And Tara didn't want Indira to be mad.

It was for the best of everyone to stay away from Indira Singh Rajput's radar.

Suddenly Arti barged into the room all worked up.

"You both need to come down." She said hastily, short of breath.

"What happened?" Ramya asked.

"Tara Bhabhi, your wedding dates are set."

* * *