"Good morning," Sam didi greeted me the next morning with a wide beam. She was popped on the kitchen chair, drinking something that looked like black coffee. I jumped onto the table to face her and took a banana to eat. My mom seemed to have left for work and dad never even came home.

"Where is your friend?" Sam didi asked.

"Still sleeping," I said nodding towards the bedroom. It hurt to wake up against her. It felt like something strong is straining against my heart, urging for a release.

"She seems like a nice kid," Didi said. "That girl."

"Yeah. She is..." I said absentmindedly. Wait, what? "Huh?" I looked at Sam didi.

"I would really like to know why a girl is pretending to be a boy though," Didi said.

"How in the world do you know?" I asked, shocked, and flabbergasted.

Sam didi smiled. "I hugged her last night."

"So? Her chest is flat when it's bounded."

"I work in theatre, Veer. I have played male roles. I know how a bounded chest feels. And I know a girl when I see one. She has fake sideburns and only a fool will mistake that face for a boy's."

I looked at her still not able to recover from the shock.

"You-You won't tell anybody will you?" I asked nervously. "You can't..."

"Well, it's your business. So why would I ever tell?" She asked. Well, Sam didi is the freest thinking person in the world. She is bizarre and cool. So I think I can trust her on that. She won't tell.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone," I asked her. "Don't even tell Jai that you know. She will freak out. Promise me."

She noticed the seriousness in my voice. So she put her coffee cup and looked at me seriously. "Of course," She said. "I promise."

I smiled. I could trust Sam didi. She was a really good and nice person. "So...what's the story?" She asked me.

I explained the situation to her. How Jai's dad got murdered and how her uncle is trying to kill her and how she has to stay hidden till she turns 18 years old. How Jai was my best friend since we were 15 and how I had no idea that she was a girl until very recently.

"You actually thought she was a boy for two years?" Sam didi asked laughing. "How could you?"

"She was that good in acting," I said. "She turned herself completely into a boy for two years."

"Must have been tough for her." didi said.

"Yeah..." I agreed. "I feel so bad for her. Wish if I could do something..."

"Maybe you can..." didi said.

I looked at didi. Then I had an idea. 

The second day in Veer's house went really fine. Veer and I pretended like last night's dangerous closeness did not happen. Sameera didi stayed in the house till it was afternoon. She even made us lunch.

Veer and I played some basketball on the court of the apartment complex. Veer taught me to shoot baskets. I was kind of getting improved on that. I even managed to shoot a couple of baskets.  

At night, both the parents were not home. And Sameera didi was bound to come home late. So we got to bed. I climbed onto the bed early and pretended to be asleep. That was easier. I could feel Veer's presence beside me. But I just closed my eyes tight and tried to go to sleep.

The next day, Veer's mom had called to inform us that both she and Veer's dad will be home for dinner.

"You have to talk to them tonight," I told Veer.

He tensed at once.

"Veer, the whole point us for to come here was for you to talk to your parents." I reminded him. "You may not get another chance since they are seldom home. Tonight is the night. You HAVE to tell them."

"I know." He said. He looked really really tensed.

"Hey." I took his hand in mine. He looked into my eyes. "You will be fine," I told him. "It's going to be alright."

He nodded nervously. 

For me, my parents have always lived on a whole other planet. They never understood me. They never really wanted to get to know me. They didn't care. And I never wanted to confront them about that ever. In case I might be true. In case it is worst than my worst imaginations. But guess there comes a time when you need to face your worst fears. For yourself.

So I looked up at dad and mom who were discussing some operation they were doing on a patient. It was always the topic of conversation at the dinner table in our house. Operations and blood and brain matter and people dying.

Nice for developing an appetite.

I saw Jai dropping the roti piece she was talking to her mouth on the mention of some car accident patient having their skull cracked open that their brain was out in open. Jai looked revolted.

"I need to talk about something with you guys," I said in a quiet voice. Mom and dad did not hear me. I looked up at them. They were still talking Medical language.

Jai suddenly hit her spoon against her plate. The sound woke my parents. They looked at us.

"Veer needs to say something to you guys," Jai said. She looked at me as in 'go on...'.

"What is it, dear?" my mom turned to me.

And I began to feel super nervous. I can't do this.

Suddenly Jai grabbed my hand from under the table. Her touch gave me confidence.

"Eh... It's about my choice of collages."

"Oh, you can apply for AIMS. But we won't really mind if you can't get in AIMS." Dad said. "We won't mind if it's JIPMER or any prestigious institution."

Yeah...right.

"You can repeat the year if you are not confident about it, Veer." Mom said. "We don't expect you to get in the first attempt. Nobody gets in the first attempt. So just think of it as a warm-up this year. You have next year and the year after that."

"I don't want to be a doctor," I said. Okay... I said it. I said it. Now...let's hear the outcome.

I looked at my parents. They blinked at me.

"What do you mean you don't want to be a doctor?" dad asked me.

"I mean I don't want to be a doctor," I said.

My dad and mom looked at each other dumbfounded. Dad seemed to be asking mom for help.

"But you have wanted to be a doctor all your life." Mom said to me.

"Huh?" I asked. "When have I ever told you that I want to be a doctor? You guys just assume things."

"You have." Mom told me. "When you were younger you used to say all the time that you want to be a doctor like us."

"Young is when?" I asked.

"When you were six." Mom said...

I snorted cynically. "Yeah. What did you want to be when you were six, Jai?" I asked Jai.

"A mermaid," Jai said.

"Do you see a fishtail on Jai now, mom?" I asked. "People want to be things when they are young. Pilot. Firefighter. That does not mean they go and become one. I don't want to be a doctor."

Dad and mom looked stunned.

"You...." Dad turned to me, "You don't know what you are talking about."

"I exactly know what I am talking about. I don't want to be a doctor."

"Then what else do you want to be?" Mom asked.

"I don't know," I yelled. "Something other than a doctor. Anything else than a doctor."

"Veer. You talk as if you loath the profession." Mom accused me.

"Yeah. Maybe I do." I said.

"How could you." Dad jumped up. "It's a very noble profession. We save people's life. It is an honour and a blessed thing. You should be honoured to be in the profession."

"Well, I don't want to spend my entire life saving other people's life. I don't want to be fucking honourable." I jumped up. I felt furious as well. Honour my foot. Why were they never around for their son's life? They were busy saving lives that they never noticed their son or his pains.

"Mind your language, Veer Malik," Mom yelled. I just said the F-word in front of my parents, didn't I? Well...I don't care.

"I don't want to be a doctor," I repeated. "I want to do something more relaxed and fun in my life. Something where I can come home after work and spend some time with a family. I would like to get my weekends off, and I would want a normal life. I want to live with fun."

Mom and dad looked at me.

Mom crossed her arms. "Okay... Then what do you want to be if you don't want to be a doctor? You will have some plans?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet." I said. "But I guess I can be anything. An engineer, or a business analyst, or a writer, or a movie director. There are endless possibilities in this world."

"You don't even have a direction yet and you want to quit?" Mom asked. "No. You are writing the medical entrance exam, Veer. Come to us asking for permission to not write the exam when you have a clearer plan of your future."

"You will thank us later," Dad said. "To have stopped you from this stupidity."

"No, I won't," I said. "And I am not here to ask you permission to not write the exam. I am here to tell you two that I am not writing the medical entrance exam."

Now my parents looked pissed off. They were fuming.

"Jai beta," Mom said, turning to Jai. "Go into the room please."

"No. Jai can stay," I said.

"Jai, please leave" Mom repeated.

I grabbed Jai's hand. "Jai stays, mom," I said. "It's nothing that he does not know."

"Fine." My mom said. She turned to me. "We are your parents. And it's our responsibility to help you in your life to stop you from making any stupid decisions in your life."

"You think not becoming a doctor is a stupid decision?" I asked. "You think other people who are not doctors are all failures??"

"No. I didn't mean like that." Mom said. "I just meant, you will regret this."

"No. I won't." I said. "I know what I want. And what I want is not this. What you two are doing."

"Jai..." mom called in a hurt voice.

"If I ever have a son, mom," I said, my voice cracking, "I don't want to send him to some boarding school."

"You don't have to, baby..." Mom came closer to me. Her eyes were wet. "Just because we didn't have time for you...that doesn't necessarily mean."

"Yeah," I said. "You hit the point. You never had time for me. So how the hell in the world would you know what the right decision for my life would be?" I looked at dad and mom, "You two don't even know me. At all. I am a stranger to you. So what right do you have to take the decision of my life?"

Jai squeezed my hand. I knew she did that because I was breaking up. All that I had held in for all these years were coming out.

"You abandoned me. You left me all alone when I was 8. I was 8." I yelled. "And now you think just because you two gave birth to me you hold the right to take decisions of my life?? No... You don't even know what I want. You don't even know me..."

Mom was crying now. I didn't care...

Dad sighed...

"I am not going to be a doctor," I repeated, clam now. Once I got it out of my system, I felt calm. "I will let you know when I find something I want to be. As you said, maybe I can take a year off or something to find out what I really want to do."

I stepped away. And walked to the bedroom, while pulling Jai along with me.

I closed the door to the room and breathed out. Finally... It was out.

Jai squeezed my hand again. I turned to her. "You did fine," Jai said, with a smile. I felt kind of tired and emotionally drained after that outburst. I wanted to rest. I needed comfort.

I went and hugged Jai. Held her close. Burying my head to Jai's neck, breathing her in. Jai gently patted my back. I felt comforted. It was relaxing. Like everything is going to be alright if Jai is near me.  

Veer held on to me for a long time. It was like a long long hug. It felt like he never wanted to let go of me. I didn't want to force him to let go either. I knew he needed me.

I knew it had got a lot loud and messy. But it was good that he got all his feelings out. He told them how he felt. That was good.

"What was that about wanting to be a movie director?" I asked after a while.

"Maybe I will be." Veer said drawing back. He was smiling now. Good. "You seriously wanted to be a mermaid?" He asked, amused.

I chuckled. "Or a vampire," I said.

"Vampire is cooler." He said.

"Yeah," I said. "But that was after I turned 13. I happened to read Twilight." He laughed. And when the laughter stopped, his eyes lined with sadness again.

"It's going to be fine," I told Veer. He nodded.  

Mom and dad were silent the next morning. Mom looked kind ofsad. I did feel a bit guilty about that. But I did what needed to be done.

I went to the kitchen to get some water. And mom was in the kitchen. I hesitated.

"It's still your house." She said to me. I nodded and took water.

"You can decide what you want to become." Mom said to me. I turned to her. "We won't force you for anything from now on."

"Okay," I said. But she did sound hurt. "Mom...I..."

"We didn't know you feel that way." Mom cried.

I could only stay silent.

"Veer." Mom came closer to me. "We love you. Your dad and me... We do love you. You are our only son. I know we don't have get time for you. And we left you in a boarding school at 8. But that doesn't mean..." Mom's tears did get to me.

"I know," I said. "I am sorry." I didn't mean to hurt her this badly.

"We do love you," Mom repeated.

"You call me only when you get my report cards," I said, unable to stop myself. Mom looked further hurt. "Honey," Mom said, "that is because we don't get enough time."

"Yeah..." I said. "I get all that. You are busy. All the time. So..."

Mom looked so guilty.

"It's fine, mom," I said. "I had been fine till now. I will be fine from now as well. You don't have to feel bad. I can understand that you are busy. I do get that you save people's life. That is good. A lot of people are getting your care. It's a noble thing like you said. It is. So... it's fine." That was the best I could do.

Mom dried her tears. She nodded. She began to walk away then she paused and took out some money from her purse. She handed me the money. "Why don't you and Jai go out and have some fun." She asked.

I took the money. "Thanks. Will use it well." I said.

She smiled sadly and walked out. 

Veer's mom passed me while going out. She looked sad and shattered. I felt really bad. While she was walking out, Veer came and stood by me.

"You know, she does love you," I told Veer.

"I know." Veer said, his hand sliding into my hand, taking hold of my hand, his eyes settled on his mother. I smiled. Good that he knows.

Days moved on fast, and we just had a couple more days of the holidays left. Veer and his parents were getting back on being the friendly side as days moved on. Actually more than better. Veer's mom was being really loving to him after that. She was in the house more often. She tried to make herself available as much as possible. She even made us a feast one day for lunch. Sameera didi and I were there as a gust, she said and she had to act as a host for even one day.

Aunty even asked me if Veer has any girlfriend. She seemed interested in his dating life. I told her he does not have a girlfriend, but I told her about Ayisha.

"And he can't speak properly when she is in front of him," I told aunty, as she laughed. "He speaks in single words."

"His dad was the same. He could not speak at all to me at first." She said.

I looked over to Veer. He and Sam didi were having a whispered conversation in the living room. They looked really excited about something. Then Sam didi looked up at me and she smiled. I smiled back. Sam didi is weird but nice. We had gone to see her play one night. It was really good. I thought she was really talented.

Soon it was only three days left of the holiday.

It felt irritating to go back to school. Resuming studies and tests.

I frowned as I lay in bed.

"What's wrong?" Veer asked, weirdly he was watching me.

I looked at him. "I don't want holidays to end," I said. Earlier when I was alone at the hostel, I used to wish holidays to end so much and for everyone to be back. Sure I do miss Happy and Varun. But it was nice being here.

Veer touched my hand, playing with my fingers. "Me neither," he said. I looked at him. He smiled.

"But I have a surprise planned for you as a grand finale of the holidays." He said.

"What surprise?" I turned and lay facing him.

"What's the definition of surprise?" He asked.

I frowned.

"Go to sleep." He said. "You will get to know about it tomorrow."

I nodded. I closed my eyes.