Novalee Johänson

My co-stars, Alexander and Bryan, double over in laughter at one of their bloopers. I can't help but smile as they completely lose it. "You guys have too much energy!" I complain. We've only been shooting for the past twelve hours and it's currently three in the morning. Season two of 'Life's A Mess' just aired its finale last night but we've been shooting season three for the past two weeks. I love my job and I'm happy at the success it's brought me but these long hours make me absolutely exhausted. Especially lately. I've been feeling so lazy that it's hard to get myself out of bed and to work most days.

The boys and I take a small break since we finished filming our scene about thirty minutes ago. Alex and I still have another scene to film before we're finished tonight. Bryan does too but he'll be here longer since he films his final scene with Kahyla until after Alex and I conclude ours.

"What's all this laughter?" Speak of the pretty girl. Kahyla steps into my trailer with a confused look. I roll my eyes. "Don't get them started!" I tell her. "Kay, come here, look at this!" Bryan says, patting on the couch. She smiles and follows to sit in between the boys. Alex smothers a laugh as Bryan hits play on the video. The blooper plays for the millionth time and then they're all laughing again. "Oh, God," I mumble, shaking my head. The sound of their laughter does make me laugh, so I end up joining in the fun. "Wait! Where did you get that?! The bloopers are out already?" Kahyla questions. Bryan shakes his head. "Val emailed it to me."

Val is one of our producers. Alex shoves the phone back into his pocket and Bryan stands up. "I'm gonna go take a nap, kids," he lets out a yawn, "see you later!" We all say bye as he leaves the trailer. I plop down next to Kay and Alex on the couch. Alex wipes the tears that escape his eyes from laughing too much. "Hey, can I talk to Nova alone?" Kahyla asks, turning to face Alex. He furrows his dark brows and looks at me. I shrug. He nods to Kahyla and rises off the couch. "See you later, TV girlfriend and TV girlfriend's sister," he says throwing up a peace sign and exiting my trailer. "Bye!" Kay and I say at the same time.

Kahyla lays down on the couch and puts her feet up on my lap. "I just wanted him gone so I could lay down. I'm so tired," she says, closing her eyes. "How was your scene?" I ask, sipping on my iced coffee. "Amazing, I love kissing scenes," she says, a smirk creeping onto her lips. I gasp and chuck a throw pillow at her. She laughs. "Charlie is going to be jealous," I say in a sing-song voice. Charlie is the name of Bryan's character. He and Kahyla's character, Farrah, are love interests. Originally, I wanted the part of Farrah as I saw myself in her character more. I've been playing Avalon for quite some time now though and I absolutely love her. Never did I ever think I was even going to be working on a show this popular so I'm even more grateful that I have a part in it at all.

"Charlie is a little hoe! Farrah isn't going to wait around for him," Kahyla says. I laugh. "You and Bryan have insane chemistry though," I say truthfully. Both of them are amazing actors and I swear they put their everything into their scenes together. Kahyla won't admit it but she ships her character with him a lot more than the rest of us. "Not anything compared to you and Alex, and you know I'm right!" She fires back, pointing a finger in my direction. "I agree," I say with a shrug. She grins and pulls out her phone to take a video of me for her Instagram story. "Nova, how does it feel having to dye your hair brown again?" she questions as she records me.

I pull my long hair to the front of my shoulders and fix it neatly. I dyed it again only two weeks ago and I really love it. I've never hated brown but red is my unique hair color so I do miss it sometimes. "Amazing," I say dramatically. She laughs and posts the video. While I'm a little more private about my life, Kahyla loves streaming everything about hers on social media. I let my castmates post me on their stories and social media but you'll rarely see me post on mine. I don't think I can handle all the mean comments that come with fame, yet. I've seen a couple throughout the years and even though I try not to take them to heart, I can't help it.

I'm human.

She scrunches her nose and stands up. "I'll be right back. I have to go change my pad. I hate being on my period." She groans as she leaves my trailer. I chuckle as I watch her go. Her words suddenly get me thinking. I furrow my brows and grab my phone from its charger. I open up my period tracking app.

SEVEN WEEKS LATE.

My eyes widen at the words on my screen. I've been so busy that I hadn't even realized that I haven't gotten my period. I'm also never late. My heart starts pounding. There is no way I'm pregnant. I can't be. It's probably just from all the stress. Filming has been stressful and we only got a two-week break in between filming the finale for season two and starting the first episode of season three. I start pacing in my trailer as I hesitate about what to do. Maybe I should take a test just in case? I very much doubt it, though. I cannot be pregnant. Not now.

I pick up my phone and find my best friends contact. I put the phone to my ear and bite my nails as it starts to ring. Just when I believe the phone is about to go to voicemail, Maddy's groggy voice fills my ear. Crap, I forgot it's almost four in the morning. "Hello?" she says. "Maddy!" I whisper shout. "What, crazy? It's the middle of the night," she replies in the same low voice I do. Xander is probably zonked out next to her. "I need you," is all I manage to say. I hear heavy shuffling from her end before she talks again, her voice clearer this time. "Where are you?" she says. I can hear the panic in her voice. Ugh, I shouldn't make her panic.

"No. It can wait until morning but. . . I think I might be pregnant," I say in a whisper. "WHAT!" she yells through the line. I wince slightly at how loud she sounded in my ear. "I don't know for sure! But I just realized that I haven't gotten my period in seven weeks," I tell her. The line is quiet for a couple of beats. "You have to take a pregnancy test ASAP. I'm on my way to pick you up," she says and the shuffling starts again. "No! I'm at work, I still have a couple of hours to go. I'll call you when I get out and I'll go pick you up. Can we take it at your place since Xander has class tomorrow?" I ramble. "Ugh, okay. Yes. Call me as soon as you finish," she says.

We say our short goodbyes and hang up shortly after. I start focusing on my breathing, making sure to calm myself down so I won't have a panic attack. God knows that would be terrible right now.

It's hard to focus on my breathing when a million thoughts infiltrate my brain. How am I going to tell Chris? How is Chris going to react? Is he going to be okay with me being pregnant when we're across the country from each other at the moment? What are my parents going to say? Is this going to ruin my acting career? I start to panic and my breathing becomes uneven. "Breathe, Nov. Breathe," I whisper to myself. I wish I could call Chris but it's almost one in the morning in Los Angeles. It takes a couple of minutes for my breathing to calm down and I enter my small bedroom, looking at myself in the full-length mirror. I lift the shirt I'm wearing and look at my stomach. I look bloated, I have been looking bloated.

I suck in my stomach and it goes in. I let it fall back to normal and it does. I look down at it and poke it with my index finger. "Is someone in there?" I whisper. Of course, I get no reply. I frown and put my hand on my belly. I begin to pose as if I was pregnant. "Oh God, I'm going to be an ugly pregnant woman," I mutter. I shake all the thoughts about being pregnant out of my head. "For all I know I could just be stressed. It's happened to people before, it's a real thing," I say aloud to myself.

Maybe if I say it out loud, it'll be true. I hope so.

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I picked up Maddy from her and Xander's apartment thirty minutes ago to buy pregnancy tests but now we're back. We bought five different tests. Two Clearblue, and three different cheaper brands. I stare at the boxes that sit on the bathroom sink in horror. Maddy has her hands perched on her hips as she stares at me. "Novalee." I don't look over at my best friend as my eyes stay glued to the pregnancy tests in front of me. "Nova, look at me!" she says a little harder this time. I swallow the lump in my throat and turn to face her. I don't say anything. "Here," she says. She grabs the ClearBlue test and starts to take it out of the box.

When she does, she uncaps the stick and hands it to me. "Pee on this bad boy for ten seconds, that's it," she says, holding it out. I swallow again and shake my head. "Nov-"

"Take one with me!" I cut her off. Her perfect, dark brows furrow. "What?" she questions. "I'm not pregnant." I groan and sigh at the same time. "I know, but just pretend that you think you're pregnant and worry with me! Please, it'll make me feel a lot better," I plead. She looks at me for a long moment and rolls her eyes. She closes the pee stick and places it on the sink before grabbing the other ClearBlue test and unpacking it. I start to smile and clap my hands. She pulls it out of the box and shows it to me. "You first," she says, moving out of the way so that I can use the toilet. I nod and pick up the test. I pull down my tights and hold the test between my legs while I pee. I close it quickly after and place it facing down on the sink.

I clean myself and flush. "Your turn, bestie," I say. Maddy passes by me and does the same routine as me, setting her test face down. I wash my hands while she does. She puts down the seat to the toilet and motions me to sit on it, so I do. She washes her hands next. My leg starts bouncing up and down nervously as I stare off into the distance while we wait five gruesome minutes. "Did you tell Valdez?" she interrupts the silence. I shake my head as I look at her. "No! Please don't say anything, not even to Xan," I beg. "Nova, I would never. I promise," she says and I nod. "Thank you," I mumble.

She nods, bending over to be the same height as me. "And if you are, whatever you want to do, I'm here for you. Always." She smiles and then leans in, kissing my cheek. A small blush creeps onto my face as I nod. I rather not think about being pregnant so I try and think of the possibility that I am not. The rest of the time, we don't say a single word. "I think they're ready," she says, motioning her head towards the tests. I chew on my bottom lip as I nod. I stand up and walk toward the sink. I stare at the tests anxiously. "You check yours first!" I say, panicked. "Nov-"

"I want to know if you're pregnant!" I interrupt. I know she's not, I'm not stupid. I just. . . I'm less panicked if I believe my best friend is going through this same journey as me. Maddy sighs and nods. She must understand. She picks up the test and flips it over. Her eyes widen and she drops it to the ground. My heart skips a beat in panic. "I picked up your test by accident!" The color from her face drains. "You're pregnant, by the way," she adds. My heart drops to my butt as I shake my head. I look at the counter and see. . . wait. "Maddy," I say, picking up the other test, "this is my test!" I turn it over and the words PREGNANT slap me in the face. I yelp and drop the test to the ground just like my best friend did with hers.

Then, realization slaps me. "What!" Maddy says. I don't say anything as she bends over and picks up both tests. She looks at both of them and starts shaking her head. She's realizing what I just did. She looks up at me slowly. Her face paler than usual, her hands now shaking. "No," she mutters. "We're both pregnant," I whisper. She drops both tests to the ground and makes way for the other boxes of unused tests. "That's wrong! I'm not pregnant," she says angrily as she starts unboxing another test. "But. . ." I start. She pulls out another one and slaps it against my chest. "We're not pregnant. Here take that one," she says.

She gets another one and makes a beeline for the toilet. She sits down again and pees on the pink stick. My head is all over the place. False negatives are common. False positives. . . are rare. She flushes and gets up. "Go, Nov." I don't bother arguing with her. Maybe she's right. I pee on the second stick and we wait the same amount of minutes. "You look at them," Maddy tells me. I nod slowly and pick up both of our tests.

Two lines. Two lines equal pregnant.

I look up slowly. "Pregnant again," I whisper. She snatches the tests from me, her eyes flitting from one to the other. She walks backward, still looking at the tests. She lowers herself onto the toilet where I once sat. She's upset. Maddy doesn't want kids. She never has. Her parents weren't great to her and I think she fears she'll be just like them. I know she wouldn't be but I can't change her mind. If she doesn't want kids, she won't have them. The thought of being pregnant at the same time as my best friend excites me, but I don't show it. Although I am scared shitless — excuse my language — having my best friend going through the same thing, right by my side, makes me feel at ease. But she doesn't want this.

A tear falls down her cheek. "Madd-" She puts her hand up as telling me to stop. She doesn't want my pity. She wipes the tear quickly. Be a good friend, Novalee. Who cares if she'll get mad? I bend over in front of her just like she did a couple of minutes before for me. She looks up at me from her lap. Her green eyes are glossy and her nose is red. She's holding back tears. "Maddy, we don't have to tell Xander. This can stay between us forever if you decide to do that." I don't say the word out loud, but she knows what I'm talking about. Another tear slides down her face, her lip trembling. She looks down at my stomach. "Are you keeping yours?" she asks, voice shaky.

I don't have to think about it. I know it's not the most perfect time to be having a baby, but Chris and I do want kids. We've talked about it before more than once. I know it'll be difficult, but I'm sure he will want to keep this baby. I want to keep it too. So, I nod. "I am," I say, my voice cracking as reality sets in. I'm having a baby. Tears brim in my eyes and I hold my best friends hand in comfort. "Hey, if you decide to keep yours, our babies can be best friends. Just like me and you and just like Valdez and Xan," I say with a smile. She chokes out a laugh and nods.

"I know this isn't what you had in mind for your life, but this is a sign, I think. You'll be a kickass mommy," I say, meaning it wholeheartedly. Tears fall quickly from her eyes. "I'm scared. I don't think I can do this, Nov," she cries. "Hey! Don't say that Maddy. You can do anything! Plus you have an amazing man who's going to be one hundred percent supportive. Also, a best friend who's going to be going through the same thing as you, so you'll never be alone." I squeeze her hand in comfort. She doesn't say anything and falls forward wrapping her arms around my neck. Tears fall from my eyes as I hold my best friend and let her cry on my shoulder.

I rub her back in comfort. I wish there was more I can do to cheer my girl up.

"Mads, I love you, okay? Don't forget that your support system doesn't stop at me and Xan. You have Valdez and Max. Also Monet and Rhys, and Cgc and Brynn! The four of them know about kids more than us, they'll be great help," I remind her. Our friends have own kids and we'll be the last of the eight of us to have kids. Maddy calms down a bit and pulls away. She wipes her nose with her sleeve. "I forgot about them," she whispers. I nod, holding onto one of her hands. "We have the best support group backing us up. I'm as scared as you are, babe. But we're in this together, me and you," I promise. She looks at me for a long moment before touching her stomach. She flinches lightly like she just touched a warm stove.

"Do you think Xan will be happy?" she asks me. I can't help the smile that tugs onto my lips. "He'll be ecstatic," I assure her. I'm certain Xan wants kids with Maddy. She smiles weakly and nods. "I hate to be that person, but. . ." she pauses, "I'm scared. To tell Xander. Do you think we can tell them together? Xan and C?" My smile only grows. "I would freaking love that," I tell her. "Really?" she questions. I nod swiftly. "It's going to be amazing," I say truthfully. Her first smile flashes through and she nods. "I hope so."

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Two weeks later

Christian kisses my cheek as we walk down the hall to our best friends apartment. It's Monday. He played in Buffalo yesterday and came right down to New York City to see us. I missed him so much. It's been a little over a month since the last time I saw him. "You're so pretty." He stops me in the middle of the hallway and grabs both sides of my face. He places a quick kiss on my lips and then another and another. I smile, my cheeks blushing from his compliment. I'm dreading tonight since I have to drive him to the airport. I don't want him to go. I wrap my arms around his neck. "I don't want you to leave," I say. His hands find my waist and they slide down to my butt as he pinches it. "It's barely ten, love. I'm yours until twelve." His flight leaves at midnight.

I nod and kiss him. It's been hard not telling him that I'm pregnant. It was much easier when I was lying to him through a screen but now that he's here in person, it's a lot harder. He landed in NYC from Buffalo last night and I have no idea how I haven't blurted the words I'm pregnant out. I'm bad under pressure usually, and I've been under pressure. At least that's what it feels like. I promised Maddy that we would tell Xander and Valdez together, so my mouth will stay shut. Well, not for long since we're telling them today. It's why we're all having brunch together at Maddy and Xan's place.

Christian kisses me back quickly and pulls my arm towards their apartment. "C'mon, love! We need to see my love!" he says. I chuckle and follow behind my boyfriend. Once we reach the door, Valdez rings the doorbell. He starts bouncing on his feet as he waits for someone to open the door. Once the door swings open, Valdez almost pushes Maddy out of the way as he zooms inside. Maddy rolls her green eyes heavily. "Love!" my boyfriend shouts inside. I laugh as I enter the apartment and Maddy closes the door behind me.

Xander and Chris haven't seen each other since May and it's October now. "Babe!" Xander's distant voice sounds throughout the apartment. His heavy footsteps sound against the hardwood floor and then he appears, immediately jumping on Chris. They hug for the longest time, patting each other's backs quickly as they talk. Maddy takes this opportunity to pull me into the kitchen. She drags me to the stove and opens the white box that sits atop it.

BABY INCOMING 2026

Those words are spelled across glazed donuts. I smile and nod before she covers them. "Xan hasn't seen them?" I whisper. She shakes her head. "I told him to keep his nasty hands away from the dessert," she tells me. I nod. Makes sense. The men come into the kitchen and Xan greets me with a hug. "Hungry?" Maddy asks with a smile. "Famished," Valdez replies, grabbing his stomach. Xander places his hands on Chris' shoulders. "You sit, stud. I will make you a plate," he says. I laugh and Maddy rolls her eyes. Chris puts a hand on his heart and obliges, walking to take a seat at the table. I make my own plate and head over to sit next to Maddy.

Brunch goes by smoothly enough. Maddy and Xander don't bicker much since he catches up with my boyfriend. While the boys stay at the table and talk, Maddy and I walk back into the kitchen. "Okay, so how are we doing to do this?" she questions. I can see her start to get anxious. I grab one of her hands and squeeze it tightly. "Calm down," I whisper. She takes a deep breath and nods. "We'll just ask if they want dessert and give them the box and run back in here. They'll figure it out for themselves," I say with a shrug. Maddy pulls her raven hair over one shoulder. "You ask," she whispers. I nod.

"Do you guys want some donuts!?" I ask with a smile. "Hell yeah, baby," Valdez replies. "Sounds good," Xan says. They both start talking again and I turn back to Maddy and give her a firm nod. I rip two napkins off the rack and place them on the box. I place the box in front of them and walk back to Maddy. Xander and Chris both keep talking as they open the box up, not really paying attention to anything but each other. "Crap, I hope they don't eat it before they see it," I say. My heart races at a million miles a minute. I turn to Maddy who looks panicked. "It's okay," I try and calm her. She doesn't look away from them and I turn back.

Xander opens the white box and looks away from Chris. His eyebrows furrow and then his eyes widen. Maddy stiffens next to me. "Oh, I think this is for you," Xander interrupts Valdez and pushes the box towards him. Valdez looks down and his eyes widen too. Both of them turn to look at us. "Actually, it's for the both of you," Maddy says next to me, shifting uneasily. Valdez smiles big. "Wait! You're both pregnant?" he asks. Maddy and I both nod. Chris' mouth drops as he gets up from his chair and runs over to me. I smile. Ugh, I love him. He picks me up and spins me around. "Baby, really?" he asks. I nod. He kisses my face all over and I can't help but laugh.

We stop celebrating when we notice Maddy still in the kitchen and Xander at the dining room table. "I think you guys might need to leave," Xander says, closing the white box. My heart drops to my stomach. No, no, no. I look at my best friend and she's frowning. Her hands behind her back shake. "Why?" Valdez says, anger evident in his voice. I place a hand on his chest. Xander looks up from the box to Maddy. "Because I want to fuck my baby momma." A smirk curves onto his lips. Maddy lets out a breath. I do, too. Chris smiles.

Xander joins us in the kitchen and he pulls Maddy to him and kisses her passionately. I almost cry. Damn hormones have already started. I look up at Chris and he's still smiling. Xander pulls away from the kiss and his eyes meet Chris'. Chris smiles mischievously. "We're gonna be dads!" he says. Xander smiles big and they both hug again. Maddy tugs my arm and pulls me into a hug too. "Thank you," she whispers. I actually do tear up this time. I nod, "I couldn't have done it without you." We pull away and she smiles. "That's a lie and you know it."

I shrug. "I wanted to do it with you," I say honestly. She smiles, too. Chris wraps an arm around Xander's shoulder. "Okay, verdict. Nova and I are having a girl and so are you guys," Chris says, moving his finger between our best friends. Maddy's eyes widen. "Hell, no. We are having a boy," she states. Xander furrows his brows and looks at her. "You want a boy?" he asks. "Yes," Maddy replies. "Hmmm, sorry, Mads. That babies a girl who's going to befriend my beautiful daughter," Chris says. I almost melt. His daughter. Our daughter. I never thought I'd hear those words escape his lips.

"My baby will be a boy and he will still befriend your daughter. Men and women can be friends. E.g. Me and Max, Nova and Cgc, you and Brynn." Maddy shrugs. "We'll see in nine months." Chris fake smiles. Maddy returns the fake smile. "Either way, all of our kids will be friends along with Rhys and Monet and Cgc and Brynn's kids," I say. "I agree. Then in the future, my son will marry your daughter," Maddy says with a firm nod. My eyes widen. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Valdez says, chuckling nervously. "Don't you want to be related to Xander?" Maddy questions, eyebrow arched. Xander grins.

"No," Chris pauses, "'cause then I won't be able to sleep with him anymore." Maddy glares at my boyfriend but Xander chuckles, rubbing his lips. I shake my head and push Chris' chest lightly. "Nice one," Xander says. "Actually, he's going to sleep with me, you heard," Maddy snaps her fingers, "we can celebrate children later. We have things to do." Maddy grabs Xander's hand and starts to pull him toward their bedroom. Xander doesn't stop her and winks at us. "Love you!" I shout to my best friend. "Love you, too." Her voice fades and then a door closes shut. I smile up at Chris. "Let's go. I don't need to hear them make another baby," I say as I pull him towards the door.

Chris chuckles behind me. "That's impossible since Maddy is already with child, babe," he says. He opens the door and closes it behind us. He stops me in the middle of the hallway. He pulls my body close to his and looks down at me. I jump to kiss his lips. "I love you," I say. He smiles small. "I love you." We both look down at the same time at my tummy which seemed to grow a little more. It still looks like I'm bloated. Luckily enough for me since I still have a show to film. "Love you too, little baby," I say, poking my stomach. "I love her more!" Valdez remarks. My mouth gapes open. "I've known her longer!" I retort. He tries to stay serious but fails as he chuckles.

"Okay. We both love her equally," he says. I nod once before sighing. I'm glad that Chris was happy about my pregnancy. For weeks, it killed me to think that he'd be upset about it. Even if we have talked about kids, I always wondered if he just said he wanted them because I said I wanted them. I know his relationship with his dad isn't ideal — and now nonexistent — so I questioned if he would want kids. But seeing his reaction to me being pregnant today just makes everything inside of me want it even more. I'm no longer scared of what's to come because I have an amazing man by my side. He's going to be the best dad.

"We have to start thinking of names," I say as I start pulling him into the parking garage. He chuckles behind me. "I have some good ideas," he replies. I smile. "Really?" He nods quickly as he opens up the door to my car. I get in the passenger side and he hops into the drivers seat shortly after. "Okay! What's one of them?" I ask as he starts the engine of my car. "Novalee Jr," he says with the goofiest grin. I smack his chest lightly as he laughs. "I don't know her enough yet. She's still hiding," Valdez rubs my nonexistent belly, "let her pop out a little bit more, and then we'll start naming her."

I can't believe he's so set on the fact that he thinks the babies going to be a girl. It's too early to find out now. "Do you not want a son?" I question. It could have to do with his relationship with his father again. He furrows his brows and shakes his head. "I'd love a son. I just don't think this one is it. Maybe baby number two," he says. I beam at his words. He wants another baby. "You think?" I say. He smiles big, "Fuck yeah." I drop my head back against the seat and keep my hand on my stomach. I can't wait for our baby to be born.

"We have to tell pops and mam Johänson," he says. My parents are going to be utterly excited. They love Christian like their own and they've always pestered me about future grandchildren. I also kind of think they want another baby around since I was their only kid and I'm all grown up now. Well, that's invalid. I just turned 24 last month but they still love to say I'm fifteen. "I think they'll be excited," I tell Chris. He blows out a breath. "I hope."

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Six months later

"I'm fine, C. Get the baby," I say as Chris tries to help me off his car. He looks at me in concern but I glare at him. "Okay. ." he says and goes to the other side of the car. I grab the house keys from the middle compartment and shut the car door behind me. I walk slowly up to the door and open up the door to our beautiful — way too expensive — home. It was too big for Chris and I, but now we'd be adding one tiny person to the mix. My boyfriend enters behind me carrying our daughter — yes, Chris was right about her being a girl — in her carrier. I close and lock the door behind him and we enter the living room. I sit down, sighing in relief. I just gave birth yesterday morning to the most beautiful girl in the world. I haven't slept a wink.

Valdez sets the carrier on the couch and I drag my butt over so that I'm right next to it. He peaks into it, admiring our sleeping baby. She has a full head of dark brown hair, brown eyes, and the cutest lips in the world. I'd say she looks more like her daddy than me, but Chris thinks it's too early to say. I stroke her tiny face with my thumb and stare at her in awe. I can't believe I was able to push this little human out of my body. I've always wanted kids but the feeling of being a mom is still unreal to me. She's all mine for the rest of my life and I can't wait to see her grow up into an amazing human being.

"Can I hold her?" Chris asks me. He's been anxious to hold her since we left the hospital. I nod and he smiles, taking her out of her carrier and placing her in his arms. She stays asleep, only flinching slightly. I set the carrier on the floor and cuddle close to my boyfriend and daughter. She makes the cutest sleepy noise and I almost cry. I'm so lucky. "My beautiful girls," Chris says kissing her small head and then mine. I would do anything for these two people. "She's perfect," I say, not being able to take my eyes off of her. I don't want her to disappear.

"Have you seen her mom? Of course, she is," Valdez says. I chuckle and shake my head. "She's a mini you," I say, extending my hand to fix the tiny cap that covers her head. Chris sighs next to me and stares at our daughter for a long moment. He looks at me next. "Do you think she'll like me?" he asks, his hard eyes softening a fraction. I move my hand from her head to cup his cheek. "Babe, of course. She'll love you," I tell him truthfully. He nods. "I just don't want her to grow up to hate me. I don't want any of my kids to hate me. Not like I hate my da- Matthew," he corrects himself. He doesn't call Matthew Valdez his father these days.

"She won't," I assure him, "none of our kids will. You are not your father, remember that." After I got pregnant with our first baby, the possibility of another in the future didn't fall behind. We haven't agreed on an exact number, but I do know that I want to have a baby boy. I want Christian to be able to have a close relationship with his son. Something he never had with his own father. Chris places a soft kiss on my lips. "I know we didn't talk about it, but he's not going to be in their life at all, Nov. I don't want him coming near our kids. I'm going to talk to my mom about it. I don't think I ever want to share what he did to my mom and I with them either. . ."

I'm not going to bother arguing with Christian because I agree with him. His father put him through so much crap his whole life. After Christmas back in 2021, Valdez had hoped that would be the last time he would ever talk to his father. It wasn't. He kept popping back into his life all the way until the NFL Draft. That was . . . a memory I do not like recalling. It was upsetting. It was horrible. It was heartbreaking. They haven't spoken since then and Chris' life has been so much better. We just hope it stays that away. I support him one hundred percent so if he doesn't want our kids to know about the abuse his father put him and his mother through, it'll be our secret. If we can save our kids from knowing how horrible their dad was treated as a child, we should do it.

Our kids lives will be completely different.

"I agree," I say, giving him a reassuring smile. I kiss his cheek and lean my head on his shoulder as he holds our daughter in his strong arms. He rubs his large thumb over her closed fist and she opens it, gripping onto his thumb. He chuckles. "Daddy's girl." I would sacrifice an amazing relationship with my daughter if it meant she had one with her dad instead. I'm all for her being a daddy's girl. "Aviana Valdez, you are the most precious angel to exist," I say and boop her tiny nose. She flinches slightly and then I start to regret everything. A cry rips out from her throat. Chris glares at me. "Sorry," I say a little louder over our daughter's cry. He stands up and starts rocking her back to sleep. "More like little devil," he says, cringing from her shrill cries. That escalated quickly.

"Like father, like daughter."

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Christian Valdez
20 years later

The tv streams one of my old games from when I played in the NFL. The NFC Championship game. Rams vs. Packers. We won that year and went to the Super Bowl which we sadly lost. Still, it was one of my best games ever and I would have loved to relive it in peace. But with an angry daughter on my hands, I cannot. My glare stays on the tv as I hold onto my wife's thigh. I can't be around her and not touch her even after all these years. If all of my kids weren't currently downstairs, I would be doing much more than touching her thigh. Only she could distract me away from watching this game.

My eldest daughter paces our living room, her heels clinking against the ground. I don't focus much on her because I know to avoid Aviana Valdez when she's angry. People don't call her Mini Valdez for no reason. Novalee stiffens beneath my touch. She's a lot tenser than I am especially when our daughter is mad. She hates seeing the kids upset. I do too, but sadly, I could care less right now. My daughter is overreacting.

"You guys are acting like I'm the Queen of England, oh my God," Aviana snaps. Her younger siblings stare at their sister pace back and forth. They stay quiet. I roll my eyes in annoyance. "You're not the Queen of fucking England, Aviana, but you need a bodyguard, " I retort. Her anger towards Novalee and I comes from the fact that she believes she doesn't need a bodyguard. My fame in the NFL and Novalee's Hollywood fame shed light on the lives of my kids. As much as Nova and I tried to keep them away from it, we couldn't. While my career with the Los Angeles Rams came to an end years ago, I still work for the NFL.

I'm the lead analyst for FOX Sports so I'm still in the media all the time. My wife is still an actress and has had a successful career. With a combined following of 156 million on Instagram, I'd say it's hard to keep our kids away from the spotlight. Luckily, Aviana has never wanted to stray from it. Her cousin, Frankie Adler, started social media influencing before she did and showed my daughter how to start up her following. While she loves being an influencer, her main job is modeling. She got my height gene instead of Nova's so my 5'9 daughter is great at what she does. Her fame rose when she was only 17 which was when I got her a bodyguard for herself.

She may be 20 now but I still am and will always be protective of her. Especially when I only see her during holidays. I need someone I can trust around her and her old bodyguard didn't do his job, so I fired him. I fired him, not Aviana. I can't have the person that's supposed to be protecting my daughter be so imprudent. She thought me firing Roy would mean that she was off the hook. As her father, I thought she'd know me better. And as my daughter, I know she planned this. She knew I'd find out about Roy letting her attend an event alone. She knew I'd fire him. I did. That didn't mean I wasn't already looking for someone new to take his place.

"You live in Paris and you expect them not to worry about you every second of the day?" Sienne, my youngest daughter, laughs. Her pierce blue eyes stare at her older sister in amusement. Aviana rolls her eyes at her little sister. But, she's right. Aviana lives in Paris hence why we only see our eldest during the holidays. When she was a senior in high school, she begged Novalee and I to let her attend college overseas. While we thought she was insane, somehow she convinced us. I was more persistent especially because it felt unreal to let my seventeen-year-old daughter move an ocean away alone.

I want my kids to be the happiest people in this ugly world. I could see how excited she was for this opportunity. Her huge brown eyes would fill with euphoria every time she spoke about Paris. As a father, seeing my daughter that excited about something did the job. I let her go. She's a busy girl. Part-time college student, model, and influencer. I don't know how she does it. I was just a student and football player at her age. I couldn't do half of what she does. She amazes me in more ways than one. The woman she has become was everything I ever wanted for her and more. I'm proud of her.

"Mom, please. I'm fine. Roy never did anything that I couldn't
do on my own. The fans in Paris are way calmer than the
ones here," Aviana pleads. Great, she's using her mom against me. Nova has a hard time saying no to the kids. I don't, especially when it comes to something like this. I turn to Nova and her eyes soften. I blow an angry breath out of my nose. "Maybe once you come back to the states, we'll consider you not having a bodyguard but for now? You're getting one. No. Complaints. Further," I say firmly. My voice is naturally hard but it never scared Aviana. She's just like me, of course, it doesn't. "I'm out," my son, Xavier, says. We all look at him as he struggles to get up from the couch.

He blew his knee out not that long ago playing basketball so he just got ACL surgery a week ago. He's on crutches at the moment. Nova rushes to help him before I can. "I'm fine, mom," he says bitterly. Nova ignores him and asks another question. "Do you need help up the stairs?" she asks, her eyes flitting around his face. She shows her worry more than I do. He's been really distant with all of us. Xavier is closer to Novalee and she says he's been avoiding her a lot. She knows it's because of his injury but she still gets sad. I don't know how one of my kids loves basketball, but he does. He plays it with so much passion and he's amazing at it too.

It's his senior year and he won't get to play the remainder of the season. We're trying to help him as much as possible but it's still fresh. He's still pushing us away any chance he gets. We can't really do much but let him know we're here for him. It kills me to see him upset, but there's only so much I can do.

Xavier shakes his head, avoiding his mother's gaze. We all wait until he's safely up the stairs before coming back to the conversation down here. I meet my daughter's eyes again. "You're a pain in my ass," she says, pointing a finger at me. I throw my head back and laugh. "Likewise, loser," I retort. Since my games over, I start changing the channels until I find another football channel and leave it there. This is one of my rare days off but I never shut out football from my life.

The doorbell rings and I know exactly who it is. My special guest. The new culprit to Aviana's complaints. I stand from the couch and smile. "Perfect. He's here." I start to walk out of the living room and towards the front door. "Who?" I hear Aviana say behind me, but her voice fades eventually. I jog to the door and open the door wide open. In all his glory, my new favorite person stands on my porch. A smile takes up his face. "Sir, thank you for having me," he says, his Spanish accent making a small appearance. See, I was kind of sad when I had to fire Roy. He was good at his job and he was also a good man, someone who I gained as a friend throughout the years he protected my daughter.

When I started the hiring process for another bodyguard, I thought I'd see who I could develop something like a friendship with. It was easier to make friends these days but just because I befriend someone, doesn't mean I trust them. I wanted a good relationship with the person who would protect my daughter and so I made sure to not be a complete hardass to the men I was interviewing. One, in particular, stood out to me. Nick Gomez. He's a rookie, a little too young for my liking but I think that may be what Aviana needs now. She's twenty and Roy was inching fifty-five. Nick is twenty-two meaning there is no doubt he'll be able to keep up with my busy daughter.

He was my favorite of the one hundred plus guys I interviewed. I met with this guy five times a week these past three weeks and went over every single thing. I probably know more about him than his own friends do at this point. In the end, I saw him fit for Avi. He's the best man for the job and that's why I gave it to him just yesterday. The final step to this process: meet Aviana. I invited him over to the Valdez household for that very reason. He'll be here whenever my daughter decides to come back home. That is if she doesn't cancel me out of her life forever after this.

"Of course, come in, kid." I hold the door open for him as he steps in. I lock it behind him and I lead him back into my living room. "You read over the list I sent you?" I question. Since I officially gave him the job, I sent him Aviana's weekly schedule. She made it herself for Roy and I forwarded it to Nick yesterday. If she needs to make a change to it, she'll take that up with her new bodyguard. "Yes, sir. I'm sure I have it memorized by now," he says, chuckling. I smile. I knew I picked the perfect guy. "Right on," I reply, walking into the living room first. "This is my daughter, Aviana," I tell Nick even though he already knows how she looks and who she is.

Aviana and Novalee both stand from the couch and approach us halfway as we enter the middle of the living room. "Hi, nice to meet you," Avi greets Nick with a smile. She's only being nice because she doesn't know who he is just yet. Nova might have an idea although I didn't tell her he was coming over today. "Nice to meet you guys." He shakes my daughter's hand and then my wife's. I place a hand on his shoulder and then tap his pec. "This is Nick Gomez. Your," I point to my daughter, "new bodyguard." Aviana's mouth gapes as she realizes who he is. "What?"

"He's ready so whenever you want to fly back to Paris, he's ready to go along with you," I say, smiling dryly. My daughter frowns. She's been upset for over an hour now. "He's like the same age as me!" Aviana exclaims. "Actually, I'm twenty-two. You're twenty, correct?" Nick replies before I can. I nod once. "She is," I confirm. My daughter rolls her eyes so hard they almost get stuck in the back of her head. I smile, remembering the first days I ran into Nova at Oak Hill our junior year and she used to do the same thing every time she saw me. "Well, we'll let you get situated then? Kids, let's go get some food," I tell Sienne and my youngest kid, Easton. He's half asleep, tired from his football game earlier. Now him, he gets the football thing.

"I'll be in my room doing homework actually," Sienne replies before standing up and walking upstairs to her room. I try to hide the disappointment on my face. I love spending all the time I can with my kids but when one of them — Sienne — does everything she can to avoid spending time with me, it's kind of hard. For some reason, I've never had a. . . good relationship with her. It pains me to even say. Fuck, I never wanted this to happen. It was one of my biggest fears when Aviana was born. Now, I'm the closest to her. I'm close with all my kids but Sienne. I swear she hates me even though Novalee shuts that down every time I say it.

It's hard to believe she likes me when every time I speak she makes a face. When every time we're in a room alone together, she leaves as quickly as possible. When I try and speak to her and it ends in an argument. When she's voiced "God, I wish anyone else in this world could be my father". Yeah, it's hard to believe my own daughter likes me when she said that to my face. At the end of the day, she's still my little girl. She's fifteen and we're going to live together for another three years. I'd sell my left kidney if that meant I could figure out what my daughter has against me.

"Babe? You coming?" I shake the disappointing thoughts from my brain and ask my wife. Nova smiles, nodding. She places a hand on Aviana's shoulder and whispers something before coming to my side. I grab her hand and motion my head towards the door. "C'mon East." My ten-year-old hops off the couch and puts his tennis shoes on quickly. He rushes in front of Nova and I. I grab my wallet and keys from the side table by the door and we make our way out. "Buckle up!" I tell them as we get into the car. "Dad, can we get burgers from In-N-Out, please?" Easton says from the backseat. "Sure, bud. Here text your brother and sister and ask what they want." I grab my phone from the middle and hand it back to him.

He snatches it from me quickly and I start pulling out of our gated neighborhood. We lived in a house for a couple of years but the security sucked. Our house would get random mail and visitors. . . or fans. Nova and I loved that house but we couldn't raise our kids there when we felt unsafe. We've been living in this house for about ten years now. We had the best real estate agent in Oak Hill, of course. My best friend Cgc Scott is the best one there is. He got us this place and even our old house.

Nova giggles beside me, catching my attention. I furrow my brows, turning to look at her. Her long brown hair hides her freckled face. She never went back to red after having to dye it for her first show 'Life's A Mess'. I like the brown but I miss the red. Sienne got her mom's hair, she's the only one of our kids that did. "What are you laughing at, psycho?" I question as I pull onto the highway. Nova keeps laughing and shakes her head. "What's so funny?" I question again when she doesn't answer. She sniffles, catching her breath. "I can't believe you hired him to be Aviana's bodyguard," she finally says. My brows pull together in confusion.

"What's wrong with Nick?" I question. Nova points a finger at me. "Exactly. What's wrong with him? Nothing," she says. What the hell is she going on about then? I hired Nick because nothing was wrong with him. He's the perfect candidate for the job. I'm glad Nova agrees. "So what's the problem then?" I ask. She rolls her eyes playfully. "Babe, really? Did you hit your head that many times in football?" she says, laughing again. "What?!" Easton says from the backseat. "Nothing, bud," I say to him quickly, clenching my jaw. "Novalee Valdez if you don't spit it out, I'm not getting you animal fries," I threaten.

"Valdez, that man we left back there with our daughter is literally. . . perfect. You think she's not going to fall head over heels for him? He's handsome as hell," she whispers that last sentence. Once again, my jaw clenches. "No," I say firmly, "my daughter is not going to fall for that guy. He's just her bodyguard, Novalee." My daughter does not let guys into her life. She's too busy to date and Nick is nothing but her bodyguard. That's it. Nova chuckles. "Okay, babe. Whatever you say," she says in a singsong voice. I blow an angry breath from my nose. I know I'm right. And if Nick thinks he can even touch my daughter in any way that doesn't involve protecting her, he's a dead man.

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"I'll take them their food," I tell Nova, grabbing both Sienne and Xavier's bags. She nods, sitting down at the table with Easton. Both Nick and Aviana's cars were gone when we got back. Aviana texted Nova saying she went to her cousin, Zya's, who is Maddy and Xander's oldest daughter. She's only about a month younger than Aviana. I was right all those years ago when I told Maddy she would have a girl and she'd be my daughters best friend. I guessed almost all her kids genders so much that she started believing me after the second time I was right.

Nick texted me saying Aviana kicked him out about fifteen minutes after we left. I'll have to talk to her about that later.

I knock on Sienne's door first. "Come in," she says. I open the white door and step into her room. Her walls are painted red, her favorite color, and the rest of her room has white furniture. Her king-sized bed takes up the middle of her room and that's where she currently sits on her phone. She looks up and rolls her eyes when she sees me. I try not to let emotions cross my features at my daughter's clear disinterest in my presence. "Your food," I say. She looks up again and sits up straighter on her bed. "Dámelo," she says, waving me over. Give it to me. All my kids have been taught Spanish by me or a teacher. Even though my Colombian roots come from my father, I still fully accept that part of me. I love it, he never ruined it for me.

I walk into her room and hand her the bag of In-N-Out with her burger and fries. "Thank you," she says softly and then returns her attention to her phone. "Night, kid," I say. She doesn't answer so I sigh and shut the door behind me. I wish she didn't dislike me so much. She's one of my favorite people on this planet. I probably fucked up along the way and did something she didn't like. I think about it all the time and even ask my kids if they know. They say they don't. But she's the only kid who treats me that way. I must have done something to her specifically. Our relationship has been strained for years and I've never stopped trying to fix it. Sienne does not cooperate with me. It hurts, really.

I pull myself out of my thoughts as I knock on Xavier's room. "Open," he says. I enter his room next and shake the bag of food. His eyes light up slightly and I laugh. "Here, kid," I walk over to his king-sized bed and give him the bag of food. He unpacks it quickly. "You take your medication yet?" I question, not trying to pester him too much. He's been on some pills because of his injury and surgery. "Yes. Next dose isn't until 3 in the morning," he tells me. I nod and take a seat on his bed, making sure to not move his injured leg much. "Are you sitting out for the season or are you still going to the games?" I ask him.

Basketball is a hard subject to talk about right now. The season just started and he only played two games before tearing his ACL. He was hoping to do well and be able to catch the attention of college recruits. He thinks his basketball playing days are over. I know how much he loves the sport, so I don't believe that to be true. "Coach Moon said I could come to all the games. Home and away but I don't know." He shrugs and takes a bite out of his burger. "You know I have FOMO. I don't think I'll be able to sit and watch a whole game without wanting to play," he adds.

His dark brown hair falls over his eyes and I move it with a free hand. His eyes are a lighter brown like mine, a lot more hazel I would say. Small tattoos cover his arms and fingers. He's been getting them since he was sixteen. Without permission of course. I'd never let him get one, and neither would Nova. He comes home some days and a new tattoo — or tattoos — appears on his body. There's no point in getting him in trouble for it anymore since he keeps doing it, so we just let him now. He's special though, just like my other three kids.

"I know. I don't want you going to these games if you're going to be getting upset. Focus on your recovery. You can support the team from afar. I'm sure they won't be mad if you're not there," I tell him. He's the team captain. He worked hard to get it but I think Coach Moon might have to take that title away from him and give it to someone who's more present and can play. I know that'll sting. "Izaak wants me to go. . ." He sets his burger down and wipes his eyes with his forearms. Izaak, his cousin. My best friend, Xander's, son. They play basketball together. They have been since they were ten. They're the best of friends, too.

"Kid, Izaak will be fine. You shouldn't have to put yourself through something you don't want to for the sake of others." I can see how much this upsets him. He's a lot like Novalee, less like me. He cares about the feelings of others way too much and puts people way before he puts himself. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. He sniffles and nods. "I think I want to focus on my recovery," he says. He pushes his long hair out of his eyes again. "Good. I'm positive the team will understand." I ruffle his hair, messing it up again. We both laugh and he fixes it once more. "Don't sleep late, kiddo. School tomorrow," I say as I get up from his bed. He nods.

"Hey, dad?" Xavier says as I reach his door. I turn to face him again. "I love you," he says. "I love you too, Xavi." He smiles and I return it before leaving his room. I glance at Sienne's room once more before returning downstairs. An 'I love you' from her would be nice. I haven't heard those three words from her in. . . years. "Hey, dad! Look what mom gave me!" Easton says as I turn into the kitchen. Nova smiles and wipes a stain of ketchup from his chin. "What?" I ask, sitting down across from my wife. He lifts his hand and waves a twenty-dollar bill in front of my face. "For scoring two touchdowns today! Ten for one, ten for two," he says, making absolutely no sense, but we still understand. I chuckle and kiss his head.

"You did amazing today, bud," I tell him truthfully. He's only ten and plays quarterback but maybe that'll change in the future. Maybe he'll play. . defense? Whatever he does end up playing, I'll support him one hundred percent. All my kids are different and they all love different things. Nova and I support all of them in anything they do because we know they'll be the best at it. Even Xander, Rhys, and Cgc do. My son Easton and Xan's son Justus are the only boys who play football. Cgc's kids are playing sports I never even heard of — I'm joking of course. I don't think we imagined our kids to be the way they are, but I can speak for all of us when I say we wouldn't want them any other way.

After Nova gave birth to Xavier, I thought he would be our last kid. We had only ever talked about having two kids especially since we had a girl first and then a boy. But it wasn't long before we felt the need to give Aviana a sister and then Xavier a brother. My family grew and so did my heart. I also married my best friend along the way. Before the kids, Novalee was the best thing in my life. I thought I lost her forever when she moved to New Orleans after our sophomore year of high school. Then somehow, years later, life brought us back together at Oak Hill. It's why we choose to live here, to raise our family here.

It's where every single thing changed for us. Where Nova and I came back together. Where we met our best friends and family. Where we got married. Where we graduated school from. It all led back here, to home. To Oak Hill. As much as I enjoyed living in Los Angles all those years because of football, nothing could compare to my home here with my family.

I still vividly remember the words my father spat out to me right before I got drafted fourth overall by the Los Angeles Rams. He said, "You will not get drafted tonight. You will not have a better career than me. You will not have a perfect family like I had. You will never be anything other than a little bastard who peaked in college. And you are the biggest failure to come from my life. Good luck." His cruel words ring in my head every time I do something that makes me proud. I had a way more successful career than he did. I won two Super Bowls with the Los Angeles Rams. I helped out in my community with the resources I had. I kept a successful marriage and have four beautiful kids. And I feel so much more alive than he ever has.

I'm more content with life than I ever have been. That night at the party where my whole life changed. When I met her. I was a junior in college, the weekend before classes started when I thought life couldn't get any better.

Boy was I fucking wrong. I just hope it keeps getting better.