Thank you, seventh grade math teacher for teaching me how rational numbers connect to the movie The Matrix. Because when I'm going for that ever important job interview, or I'm applying to get into that #1 college in the nation, my interviewers are going to ask me how The Matrix connects to rational numbers, and I'll get in.

#bravo

Thank you, WattPad for ridding me of my innocence. I used to be a good little girl who had no idea about anything bad, and now I'm better off, knowing about all sorts of dirty things and bad words I needn't know.

#class

Thank you Wi-Fi for always working when I don't need you and not working when I need you. And thanks to your little sidekick VPN for never working - ever - so I can never get anything done.

#homeworkoverload

Thank you to those few friends who tease me and make fun of my likes and dislikes all the time. Ever noticed that I never seem to like the same thing for more than a week on end? There's so much you don't know, thanks to that. So much for being me!

#witches

Thank you hormones for appearing in my life. Now when I watch my favorite cartoon TV shows, my mind is constantly commenting, "Oh, he looks hot!" or "Ew, he's ugly." Cuz apparently that's just how girls work.

#cartoonguygoals

Thank you popular girls for being there. Cuz when you're around, I don't exist.

#saynotostarbucks

Thank you horror movies for being there. Cuz you look hella cool, so I watch you, and next thing you know I'm peeing myself at night and sleeping with the 'rents.

#bigbaby

Thank you crushes for existing. Now I can get my heart rate up every time you're around. Well at least I can run fast now for a long time without my breath going - I'll be prepared.

#crushed

Thank you Jason Derulo for making your music. One fine day I was bored and I heard your song, so I decided to look up your lyrics. Big mistake.

#quittalkingdirty

Wrote this one night when I was in an awful mood, hence the sarcasm. Please don't mind it though. Cuz that's just my mind.