RECORDING 17.5

Dad hasn’t found a sole solid reason to stop smoking.

Mom keeps busting her back to earn for a living.

Dad still . . . looks up to Jin and him only, despite my existence in appearing in front of them. To help. . .

‘I didn’t think I was really needed, anyway. . .’

Mom was thanking me on my way out. The skeptical look in her eyes didn’t falter, not until she finds out where I got the money. . . as an excuse, I told her I earned everything from what I get from working at our restaurant. But she wasn't satisfied with just that. . . she wanted the whole truth; as if she knew something I didn’t.

As a result, I kept quiet and made my way out of there. Now they don't even trust my words. ‘How little do you guys think I am?’

Dad is currently staying in the same hospital Gguk is in. They know nothing of my visits there. I just hoe they don't find him. . . who knows whatever they’re going to do to him, even if it’s obviously his fault he was in there. . .

The last time I visited Tae— ‘I honestly can’t remember when,’ — he was with the woman he keeps telling me about. The woman he loves. And. . , I’m guessing the feeling is the same for her. . .

Again, he was eating when I came by the precinct. Except. . , he was writing something on the wall. . ., something like this. . .

I’m fine

I didn’t read much into it, seeing that he was most likely bored . He's not allowed to do a lot of stuff while he's confined, after all.

‘Don’t worry, Tae, hyung is finding a way for you. .,’

He doesn’t deserve this.

I’ve also been thinking about Seokjin. He’s not as bad as I keep on telling in these tapes. ., in fact, I’m the jealous son they’re not aware of. Maybe simply waiting for me to jump out of the closet and kill him when I snap. . .,

‘—which is not me, so they better not think that way. . .’

He’s a good guy. They managed to replace me with someone like him. That. . . is more than enough for me. . to comprehend that I’m just the legal son. . no one ever thought of loving. .

Ah, what am I saying? These tapes have been nothing but drama all over. My promise to make things better, I keep forgetting about it. . . .

‘It’s time for. .’ [sound of lighter]

‘Maybe something good will
happen soon.’

[End of Tape]

[ posted AUGUST 29 2018 ]