21

Naramdaman ko iyong maliit na braso ni Thalia na yumakap sa aking leeg kaya tuluyan na akong nagising. I sat up and looked at my nieces all sprawled on my bed. Kinuha ko iyong kumot ni Clio at inayos iyon bago ako tuluyang tumayo.

Callie yawned and opened her eyes only to close it again. Sumiksik siya kay Thalia at muli na namang natulog.

I just stared at my nieces before I kissed each of their foreheads. Thalia, Callie and Clio are my only reminder of my grandparents. Thalia looked exactly like Lolo while Callie and Clio is the spitting image of Lola. But then the three of them all have the same temper of Alessandro Montreal.

I went to my bathroom to prepare for my meeting. Isa't kalahating taon na rin mula ng simulan kong hawakan ang MCorps. Magmula noong natigil ang mga death threats dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas ay pumayag na si Papa na palitan ko si Lolo bilang CEO.

It was so weird that people who are after my life stopped trying to kill me all of a sudden. It stopped two years ago, kasabay ng pagkawala ni Ashton.

Reports say that his team did not even make it to Iran. Nasa ere pa lang ay pinasabog na ang sinasakyan nila at tuluyan silang bumagsak sa dagat. Their bodies were never found. Ang tanging naibalik sa amin ay ang mga parte ng helicopter na ginamit nila.

I rubbed myself harder just to distract myself from the pain. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nawala siya ng ganun ganun lang. He told me he'll be back. He promised me that he'll be back. Pinanghawakan ko iyon. Nagtiwala akong muli sa kanya dahil naniniwala akong may sapat siyang paliwanag kung bakit ginusto niya akong patayin.

But he did not come back. He never came back.

I closed my eyes tightly. Se, you have to forget about him. Just, forget about that guy. He is a liar. Kalimutan mo na siya. You have Noah now. Please, just please. Please, be happy now.

Gusto ko ng maging masaya kaya Ashton, parang awa mo na. Please, give me the chance to be happy now. I really want to forget you so stop entering my mind every single damn moment.

Binilisan ko ang pagbibihis para lamang maaliw at hindi na siya maisip. I opted to wore my favorite leather skater skirt and paired it with a white cropped top. Pinusod ko lamang ang buhok ko at muling chineck ang mga batang tulog na tulog pa rin.

Pagkalabas ko ng aking kwarto ay sumalubong sa akin ang amoy ng piniritong bacon. I checked my kitchen only to see a half naked Festines cooking. I watched the muscles in his back stretched as he reached for the eggs on the counter.

"Morning babe." I greeted him. Humarap siya sa akin at sinalubong ako ng malawak na ngiti.

"Hey gorgeous. Umupo ka na, patapos na ako. Are the kids up?" he asked. Kumuha ako ng plato para sa aming dalawa bago ko kinuha iyong gatas ng mga bata. Thalia is six now but she is still bottle fed. Kahit na si Calliope na dalawang taong mas bata ay sa dede pa rin nakasalalay ang buhay.

"Ako ng bahalang magbantay sa kanila. You have your luncheon meeting today right, love?" tanong nito. Tumango lamang ako habang siya ay abala sa paglalagay ng pagkain sa aking pinggan.

"May meeting ka pero yan ang suot mo?"

I rolled my eyes. "Noah..." anas ko sa tonong nambabawal.

"I just don't like men looking at you as if you are some kind of a feast Serise."

Kumagat ako sa kaniyang bacon. "Men should learn how to respect women whatever she wears and women should learn to be confident in her own skin. Hindi nasusukat ang talino ko sa haba ng tela ng damit ko babe." I said. Noah just shook his head before sitting in front of me.

"Sometimes, I wonder if I would be able to change your mind the way he did before. Sobrang dali lang para sa kanya na baguhin ang iniisip mo Se." may tampo niyang sabi. Napahinto ako sa pagkain at tiningnan ang nobyo ko.

"Noah, what are you saying?" I asked, trying to cover up the tears threatening me. Noah just sighed and held my hand tightly.

"Everyday, everyday that I'm with you Serise, feels like a fucking competition-"

"I love you Noah." Sansala ko sa sinasabi niya. He smiled sadly before nodding.

"But not as much as you love him. Minsan nagsisisi na lang ako. Kung sanang tinanggap ko ang pagmamahal mo noong ako pa, di na sana ako nakikipagkumpetensya sa isang taong patay na." may halong pait niyang sabi. Hindi na ako nakasagot pa. What he said was right, and I don't want to lie about it. Noah knew the arrangements we had with this relationship. He agreed with it. At bilang respeto sa kanya ay hidi ako magsisinungaling para lang hindi siya masaktan. It doesn't work that way. A relationship should be founded with truth and trust, not with lies and fallacies.

Tahimik naming tinapos ang agahan. Wala ng nagsalita pa sa aming dalawa. Hinatid lamang ako ni Noah hanggang sa elevator dahil walang maiiwan sa mga pamangkin ko.

My guards approached me and guided me towards my waiting car. Kahit wala ng mga threats ay naniniguro pa rin ang pamilya ko kaya narito pa rin ang security team ko. I took Leroy and Rex again, somehow, they kinda reminded me of him. It made me feel a little bit safer.

Pagkapasok ko pa lang sa kotse ay sinindihan na ni Jane ang stereo. I closed my eyes tightly and rested my head against my chair.

I opened my eyes and saw that the skies are gray, again. Lihim akong napangiti. Atleast no stars will be out tonight. No stars would remind me of him.

I hated every moment that would bring Ashton back into my mind. I hated that he said that I am his North star. I am his guide. Ako ang magututuro sa kanya ng daan pabalik, ako ang babalikan niya.

Alam kong maling umaasa pa rin ako pero fuck lang kasi eh. He promised me and I am still holding on to that promise eventhough I know he is gone now.

'Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed'

Noong makarating ako sa MCorps ay sumalubong sa akin ang aking sekretarya. Binasa niya ang aking schedule habang tuloy tuloy kami patungo sa elevator. Iyong lift na hinihintay ko ay puno ng mga tao noong bumukas. I raised my eyebrows at the employees and they all started to come out one by one.

Papasok na sana ako noong mapansin ko iyong isang lalaking nakasuot ng itim na beats headphones. Nakatingin lamang siya sa akin habang nakangiti. He looked so amused with what I did with the employees and yet he did not even move a bit.

"Uhm, Sir..gagamitin po ni Ma'am ang elevator." Anas ng aking sekretarya. The man moved and pushed the button of the elevator to hold the doors open.

"Then by all means, enter." Anas noong lalaki, iyong baritono niyang boses ay hindi nakaligtas sa aking tenga.

I crossed my arms around my chest and his answering grin became wider. Napailing na lamang ako at pumasok sa elevator. My secretary pushed the buttons and we went up.

Naunang bumaba ang lalaki sa 34th floor habang kami naman ng sekretarya ko ay lumabas sa 36th. Pinagbuksan nila ako ng pintuan at bago pa man ako makaupo ay may mga pinapaapprove na sa aking proposals at budget reports.

Pabagsak akong umupo sa swivel chair at tinanggap lahat iyon.

'You said move on

Where do I go?

I guess second best

Is all I will know'

Kasalukuyan akong nagbabasa noong tumunog ang aking intercom. My secretary's voice echoed through it.

"Yes?"

"Ma'am, Mr. Aidan James from Herrera Food Corporation is here to see you." Imporma niya. I checked my schedule first.

"Hindi ba't mamaya pang lunch ang meeting namin?"

"He has a flight scheduled at two in the afternoon Ma'am, kaya napaaga ang dating niya ngayon." Paliwanag nito. I just sighed.

"Send him in." utos ko. Iniligpit ko ang mga papeles na nasa lamesa noong marinig ko ang pagbukas ng aking pintuan. I faced the man only to be greeted by the boy in the elevator a while ago.

"You?" I blurted. Ngumisi iyong lalaki at naglahad ng kamay. Tinitigan ko lamang iyon bago ko tinanggap.

"Aidan James. Nice to finally meet you, Serise." Aniya. His brown eyes bored holes into me. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Hinila ko ang aking kamay at inilahad sa kanya ang upuan.

"Please, have a seat." Anas ko. Tumango lamang siya at sumunod sa akin. iilang hakbang pa lamang ang nagagawa ko noong nabuhol ang aking binti. I almost fell over but thanks to a pair of strong arms that held me ay naligtas ako.

"Careful Ma'am. Don't fall." Aniya, iyong mata ay sumalubong na naman sa akin. My heart raced and I pulled myself away from him. Iniayos ko ang aking sarili at tiningnan ito na nakatitig pa rin sa akin.

Ngumisi siya at umupo na sa kanyang upuan. Umikot naman ako sa lamesa at hinarap siya.

''Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes'

Napahawak ako sa dibdib kong tuloy tuloy pa rin ang mabilis na pagtibok. What the hell is happening? What's wrong with me?

Tinitigan kong muli iyong lalaking nagngangalan na Aidan bago huminga ng malalim. Serise, what is happening?

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Song Used:

Katy Perry - Thinking of You