song of the chapter: don't leave me - bts

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1 week later

Moving out of a place where you had many memories is tough. I understood what Jungkook was going through at this very moment as he placed his gaming equipment inside several boxes. Silently watching him as I placed the tapes on the boxes, I notice how he slowly furrows his eyebrows before looking at me. I advert my vision from him, looking down at the boxes before me.

"Don't pretend that I didn't see you looking at me." He jokes as he finishes with the box, writing with the permanent marker before closing it and passing the box to me.

I chuckle, "Funny."

Bree was not home, obviously. Otherwise, Jungkook wouldn't have gone today to his old apartment that he owned with Bree, calling Jimin, Hana, Taehyung and I for help. 

"Jungkookie, the TV isn't going to fit in the car. There's already so much of your stuff taking up space." Jimin says as he barges in to the room.

Jungkook nods, "We can arrange another day where we can pick it up." He negotiates with Jimin who nods.

"No, you can't spend another day coming here when she might be here soon." Taehyung comes in as well with a scowl on his face.

She meaning Bree.

Jungkook nods as a sigh comes out of his mouth, moving his long hairs on is forehead.

I look at the men before me. An idea comes to my mind.

"How about I bring my car so we could out the TV there." I inquire.

The guys automatically nod.

"Jungkook," I turn to him, "we can drive back together and get my car."

He needs some time to relax. Jungkook has tried to be strong over all, but once in a while the reality of things hit him.

After all, Bree was and still is an important person to him.

That's why I ask him to come with me, to which he agrees.

We leave the guys and Hana to their own devices as they continue to help Jungkook with the rest of his belongings. Both of us enter Jimin's car silently. I put on my seatbelt and he does as well. Since it is so silent, I turn on the radio as I sit back and close my eyes almost drifting off to sleep.

Jungkook starts the engine and we go off to my house in complete silence.

I turn to him, taking in his appearance. Today he wears he wears a white t-shirt with his balenciaga denim jacket. He completes his look with black ripped jeans and his pair of balenciaga sneakers. The black mask that he wears over his mouth is now under his chin as he pulls it down while driving.

He is mesmerizing.

But I must recognize that now is not the time to gawk over him.

I must help Jungkook and support him fully, as a friend of course.

"Thank you." He says, gripping the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

Looking away from the window, I see that his hair is now in a bun and no strands of hair obstruct his vision, "For what?" I ask.

He turns off the radio and begins talking amongst the silence surrounding us inside Jimin's car, "For accepting to help me, for always being there and for listening to me last week."

"Jungkook-" I start, remembering what happened last week when he asked me to sleep on the couch with him.

"You didn't push me away, listened to me and let me stay over the night. Thank you." He finishes with a slight smile on his face.

I nod acknowledging his gratefulness.

If only he knew that I couldn't sleep that night.

His arms warmed me.

His breath on my neck gave me goosebumps.

What startled me the most was how he once called my name in his sleep. I thought it was a crazy dream I had but when I looked back, I noticed that it was all real. Jungkook really did call out for me.

Don't leave me too. Those were the words that he whispered in my ear during his sleep. Thankfully he doesn't remember any of it. I think.

He speaks up after a long silence as we get closer to my house, "As a way of showing you and the guys of how grateful I am, I was thinking that maybe next week we could all have a night out," he starts, "then I also thought that I could take you this week to the fair that just opened."

"That would be great! The guys are going to love the fair, we've been wanting to go ever since they opened but-"

"Dae." I hear his voice call out to me as we stop at the red light.

I face him just as he faces me.

What he tells me next is what makes me forget everything and anything around me.

"I want to go to the fair with you," he admits as he focuses again on driving, "just you and I, if that's okay with you."

Just him and I . He wants us both to go, alone.

My hands start sweating like crazy. I gulp, "Both of us, alone?" I ask just to make sure that I 'm not inventing scenarios beforehand.

For the first time since this whole situation happened, I hear his beautiful laugh. A smile adorns his features as his melodious laugh comes out of his mouth.

"Alone, yes. Next week I could take Tae and Jimin hyung plus Hana," he explains, "this week we could go, just us. What do you say?"

Just as I am about to snap out of what I thought was a daydream, Jungkook stops the car signaling that we have arrived to my house.

Jungkook comes out of the car as I do too, I turn to him to speak but his face transforms into another expression; horror and anger.

I look to where he stares at. He stares at the front of my house, my porch to be exact, where Bree stands with a scowl on her reddened face. My parents are standing behind her, quiet. That's when Jean comes out of the car that I instantly recognize as Bree's.

I sense Jungkook take in a deep breath before finding my hand, holding it in his.

Bree looks at our hands and us as if she could kill us with her stare.

I begin caressing his hand with my thumb, to bring his anger down. He does the same to me, as if he's telling me that he's okay.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asks directly at Bree.

My cousin speaks, "I came looking for an explanation." She says to me.

I furrow my eyebrows, "You didn't have to come to my house, cellphones exist for a reason."

"Both of you didn't answer my calls and texts so I had no choice but to come here," she begins walking to us, "so here I am." Her hands are behind her back, hiding something.

Jungkook scoffs, "Then what is he doing here?" He motions to Jean who stays neutral.

"He's here for moral support." She adds.

Moral support for what?

"Go get your keys," Jungkook slightly nudges me with his arm, "we are leaving, the TV will have to stay at Bree's for now."

Bree chuckles, "I don't think so, I came looking for an explanation so why should you leave?" She asks sarcastically.

"There's no need for an explanation, Bree. We are not in the wrong here." Jungkook calmly explains.

Without a word, she takes her arm from behind her back. In her hands she carries the purple notebook that only Bree and I know of.

"Remember this, Dae? We both had started our diaries at the same time and you left yours at my old house," she began, "I was going to give it to you today, but when I picked it up something fell from it." she chuckled.

My diary from when I was in Busan during the vacation that Jungkook and I met. She had begun her diary at the same time, as a pact that we both had done. The deal was that we couldn't read each other's diaries.

"You read it?" I ask in disbelief.

Bree shakes her head, "No. ah first I did not, but when that picture fell I read the page that it was on," she admits, "then I couldn't stop reading the pages before, like this one!" she says excitingly.

She begins passing through each page until she stops in one, reading outloud.

"May 17th, 2018.

Dear Diary:

It's weird for me to be having a diary at this age, but I've heard that it helps express what we feel so here I go. Tonight was amazing, I met a guy my age that was kind of cute. He still annoys me though—-" Bree stops reading as she turns to a few other pages, where she smirks before reading, "this is from a few days after and it reads like this: we kissed, he kissed me. My first kiss, Jeon Jungkook is officially my first at everything. He's my first kiss, my first real friend and most importantly my first love." She pauses before ripping out a page of the notebook.

"Bree this is unacceptable!" My father scolds her.

My mom tries taking the notebook away from her, but Bree holds through it. She ignores my mom and dad, she is in her own world filled with rage.

I had forgotten about that diary. I had erased it from my memory, but now it's back once more. But how did she get it?

Bree holds the ripped paper up to our faces. There, where she grips the paper is a Polaroid. That Polaroid has Jungkook and I kissing each other by the beach.

It was the day when we became a couple.

Jungkook angrily takes the paper from her as he watches me go pale, "You mess with her, you mess with me. Don't you ever come near us again." He pulls me slightly by my wrist to Jimin's car.

"You lied to me! Both of you lied, so I did too," Bree shouts as we get inside the car, she stops me as I try to close the door, "you always take everything from me, I knew something was off from when you fainted the day I brought him home!" She yells at me.

My dad lightly pushes her so I could close the door, I do.

Once I close it, I stare silently at my hands. No tears come out from my eyes.

I just stay quiet as I hear Bree pounding on the window.

Jungkook is already seated, not giving any second thoughts as he speeds away from the chaos that has emerged. Both of us quiet as we drown in our anger, bitterness and disappointment. There's no way that Bree will ever leave us alone after she discovered the truth. The truth sometimes hurts but sometimes it is needed for closure.

My hand navigates through the gear shift and finds Jungkook's, squeezing lightly. He then does something completely unexpected.

He takes my hand to his mouth, lightly pressing his warm lips in a light kiss.

"I'm no good to you, I always bring chaos wherever I go." He mumbles, his hand still holding mine.

My eyes start watering, I stay silent as I now take his hand and press my lips against his.

"We're no good for each other but maybe we're meant for each other." I tell him as we both submerge ourselves in our mice emotions.

We may not be good for each other but possibly, life wants us to be there. Maybe there is no way that we could escape one another because we are meant to be in each other's lives.