twelve | I still do
song of the chapter: the truth untold - bts
-
The classes I had for today had ended. I stayed up late after the talk with Jungkook. We had gone for some icecream and then I went back home. So technically, I didn't get a good night's rest.
I begin walking with Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung and Hana to the campus exit.
"I'll buy the pizza for tonight!" Hana begins shaking my hand excitedly.
I nod. Today, she insisted on having a girls night. We were going to be staying at Hana's apartment.
Jimin looks at Hana with loving eyes, placing his arm around Taehyung's shoulders, "Let's have a guys' night tonight." he said to him.
Taehyung chuckles, "I thought you said that you were going to watch movies all by yourself." he moves Jimin's hand from his shoulders.
Jimin replies, "I changed my mind," he looks at Jungkook, "hey JK, you can come too. If you want." he pats Jungkook's shoulders.
Jungkook fakes a smile, "Really? That would be nice." he says.
Jimin claps excitedly from beside me, "I'll bring the beer and someone needs to bring the chicken!" he plans out.
"I'll bring the beer!" Taehyung says excitedly as he waves goodbye and goes off to the parking lot.
Jimin nods, "Meet you at the house, Jungookie!" he points at Jungkook before running to the taxi that's waiting for him.
Now it's only Hana, Jungkook and I. We watch as the other students go to their homes silently. That is until Hana decides to talk.
"Well, I have everything in the car. Is Bree going to pick you up, Jungkook?" she asks him, who's currently playing with the rings in his hands.
"Yeah. You guys can go," he nods, "Thank you."
I sense something is going on. I don't know what it is, but there's something weird.
"Are you sure? I can wait with you, if you want." I tell him.
Now that everything was cleared up, we now feel comfortable with each other. Today we talked like normal friends, without any secrets or unsaid words.
He sighs, "Just go. Please."
I'm right. Something is wrong.
I look at Hana and she wakes this as a sign to leave.
"I'll wait in the car." she says before patting Jungkook's shoulder and leaving.
"Text her." I tell him.
He takes out his phone and starts tapping on it. He takes a few minutes before he looks up.
"She's on her way." he assures, but his expression tells me another thing.
I furrow my eyebrows, "Are you sure?" I ask him.
He nods, showing me his phone. There, I can ser Bree's text and his answer.
babygirl 🦋
I'm on my way, just got stuck in some traffic.
jungkook 🥺
It's ok.
He might've thought he fooled me. He didn't. Something was going on but I won't invade their privacy. If there's something happening, I'm sure that Bree and Jungkook can fix it as a couple. They can fix it.
-
"Today we are releasing all our stress and worries, Dae!" Hana cheered, raising her glass.
I smile, "Yeah. With wine." I joke.
Hana whines, assuming to be hurt, "You got a problem with wine?" she asked.
We were both on Hana's couch, watching an episode of Goblin. The one I had watched a few days ago with mom and dad, but Hana doesn't know about it. It was almost 1AM and all we did was watch a few episodes of several dramas.
Reaching out for the cubes of cheese on top of the small table in front of us, I took one and bit it.
"Wine's good." I tell her.
Hana nodded.
I look at her who sips contently on her red wine, "You and Jimin have anything going on?" I ask her.
She chokes and spits out a few of the red wine on the table.
"W-What?" she asked, getting up, going to the kitchen and coming back with a paper towel to clean the table.
I chuckled, "Don't think I didn't see you giving each other heart eyes this past month." I bit another cheese happily.
Hana smiles at the hands on her lap, "He confessed that he liked me, a few days ago."
"Are you for real?" I ask getting excited for them.
Jimin would give it away every time he stared at Hana. So would she.
Hana nods, "I told him I needed time," she sighs, "time to think."
I furrow my eyebrows, "Do you like him too?" I ask.
My best friend stares at me before sighing, "Yes."
My hands take hers, "Then what's there to think? He likes you and you like him–"
"I don't want to ruin our friendship." Hana tells as she runs her hands through her hair.
"Hana–"
She turns to me, with her feet crossed.
"Let's say that Jimin and I start dating, but then we break up," Hana says rhetorically, "we won't be able to stay as friends. It'll be awkward. You out of all people should know this, Dae."
What does she mean?
"Why do you say that?" I ask her.
Hana shakes her head, "Jungkook. He's Bree's boyfriend but you still love him."
My heart almost stops beating. I feel my breath quicken. My hands started sweating. Do I love him?
Raising my glass that was on the table, I take a big gulp and place it back.
"Hana, I thought you said we were not going to talk about boys–"
"You started it! And we need to talk about this," she protests, "it's now or never."
I sigh, running my hands through my face in frustration.
I wish I could stop these feelings for him. I wish I could just erase them completely. He's my cousin's boyfriend and I shouldn't. It's wrong.
But I do.
"I did love him two years ago. I still like him." I tell her.
"But do you still love him?" she asks.
Do I?
I did like him still. But that's different than loving a person. He took a space in my mind for two years. I tried to forget everything, but I couldn't. Although, when we went to the park, my heart went crazy at the sight of him. When we then went and got ice cream together, we talked like nothing bad had happened between us; as if we were catching up after the Busan vacation. It felt like those two years filled with tears had been erased completely.
The way he makes me react every time I catch a sight of him is the same as two years ago. My body and soul react to him. I still love him. The only problem is, that now he's someone else's. That someone is very important to me. I had to put aside my feelings and let them be happy; let Bree be happy.
"I still do." I admit.
-
The smell of burnt food fills my nose. I sit up straight from the mattress on the living room floor.
"Why does it smell like something is burning?" I ask loudly so Hana can hear.
Hana curses from the kitchen.
"Hana!" I exclaim, waiting for her to answer.
I get up and walk towards the kitchen. What I find startles me. Jimin and Hana stand petrified. Both of them look at me and try to slightly smile.
"What are you doing here?" I ask Jimin.
He chuckles, "Wanted to come by and visit." he says, hugging me.
Hana takes a pan from the stove, in it are two burnt pancakes, "We might need to buy breakfast instead."
I look at her from Jimin's shoulder, "You burnt the pancakes?!"
Suddenly, the kitchen is filled with laughs from the three of us. Jimin stops embracing me and doubles over as he goes on laughing. We continue laughing for a long time.
"I'm never making pancakes again!" Hana protests and we laugh even more.
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