We had dinner at Xaviell's place instead. Kahit anong pilit ko pa na huwag magpaapekto, hindi ko kaya. Tuwing naiisip ko na may tinatago pala si Papa sa akin, parang sinasakal ako.

I pulled the blanket to cover my body and turned to the side, facing the floor to ceiling window at Xaviell's room. Nakabukas kasi ang kurtina kaya pumapasok ang liwanag galing sa sinag ng buwan.

Naramdaman kong gumalaw ang kama at kasunod niyon ay ang braso ni Xaviell sa aking baywang. He snuggled his face on my neck, planting soft, feathery kisses there.

"I'll be in the other room," he whispered, making my breath hitch. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ito sa nakakakiliti niyang hininga o sadyang malakas lang talaga ang epekto niya sa akin.

I turned to him with a pout. "Ayaw mo 'kong katabi?"

The corner of his lips rose but his expression remained serious, probably stifling a smile. "You want me to stay here?"

"Mhmm..." I nodded, then encircling my arms on his waist before I moved closer to him. Kapit-tuko ako sa kaniya at wala na siguro kaming mas ilalapit pa.

For some reason, his body heat is comforting—it's helping me calm down.

I woke up the next morning with something heavy on me. Yes, my chest feels heavy but what I'm referring to is something literally heavy.

Though still feeling groggy, I opened my eyes and found myself incapable of moving. That's when I realized that Xaviell was caging me with both his arms and legs.

Nakapalibot ang kaniyang braso sa aking baywang habang ang mga paa niya naman ay nakapulupot sa aking balakang. Kulang na lang ay kumubabaw siya sa akin. Sinubukan kong alisin ang kaniyang pagkakayakap pero gumalaw lang siya nang kaunti.

Gustuhin ko mang manatili rito sa kama, inaatake naman ako ng kagutuman. Hindi kasi ako masyadong nakakain kagabi dahil sa nangyari.

I encircled my arms on his neck and pushed him to the side with all my force. Ako na ngayon ang nasa ibabaw niya pero nakapulupot pa rin ang kaniyang mga braso sa akin.

"Xaviell..." I called, then showering his face with kisses. Paulit-ulit ko iyong ginawa hanggang sa minulat niya ang mga mata.

"Such a great way to start my day," aniya nang tuluyan nang magising.

I was about to get up but he held my waist in place so now I'm straddling him. I realized that we're in some kind of sexual position so I tried to move away but he only pulled me back down.

Napalunok ako nang may maramdamang kung ano sa inuupuan ko pero pinili kong huwag iyon pansinin. Sigurado akong namumula na ako kaya kung patuloy ko pang pagtuonan ng pansin ang sa "ibaba," baka hindi ko na matingnan nang diretso si Xaviell.

"Xaviell," I called, then letting my body rest on his chest. "Morning flex, huh?"

Hindi niya pa ito naintindihan pero natawa rin kalaunan. Nauna akong maligo habang siya naman ay nagluto ng agahan namin. Habang hinihintay ko siyang matapos sa pagligo, nag-ring ang kabubukas kong phone.

Pinatay ko iyon kagabi dahil panay ang tawag ni Papa sa akin. Alam ko na kung mag-uusap kami ay walang magandang lalabas sa bibig ko.

"You can't ignore him forever," anang isang boses sa likuran ko. Bago pa ako makasagot ay naramdaman ko ang braso ni Xaviell aking baywang. He hugged me from behind and planted a kiss on my neck.

His minty aftershave and subtle woody scent were intoxicating. Sandali kong nakalimutan na tumatawag pala si Papa.

I sighed, then taking my phone to answer the call. He gave me a thumbs up and a wide smile as if cheering on me. Napailing-iling na lang ako bago pumunta sa salas para makausap na si Papa.

As expected, he gave a long explanation with a bunch of "I'm sorry" and "I'll be more honest" and I just did my best not to roll my eyes and just listen.

"I didn't know how to tell you, Coco—"

"You had more than a decade to tell me but you didn't," sagot ko sa kontroladong boses, pinipigilan lang na iparinig ang pagkairita. "Kung hindi ko nalaman kahapon, may balak ka bang sabihin sa akin? Wala diba?"

Napasinghal ako sabay masahe ng ulo. Napatingin ako sa may kusina, hinahanap si Xaviell. Nakita ko siyang nakahilig sa bar counter habang ang mga mata ay nakatitig sa akin.

He gave me a small smile but it was enough to calm me down and melt the anger I was feeling towards Papa. I swallowed hard before averting my gaze back to the glass window.

"You know what? Let's just skip past this," I said in a weak voice. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakuha ang lakas para masabi iyon. I'm a prideful person and though I'm not proud of it, I am aware of it. Kaya hindi ko inasahan na malulunok ko ang pride ko para kay Papa.

"When are you..." I trailed off, feeling a cold sensation in my chest. Damn it! Mas gusto kong maging maldita kaysa sa ganito!

"When are you introducing us?" Mabilis ngunit nanghihina kong sabi habang nakapikit ang mga mata.

Damn this! I feel like I deserve a halo for being able to say that!

Our call was enveloped by silence for a moment before Papa spoke again. But this time, it seems to me that he's on the verge of tears.

"Coco..." aniya sa nanghihinang boses pero may bakas ng pagkatuwa. "Thank you..."

I felt the corner of my lips rise. Sa totoo lang, mas gusto kong magalit at magpalabas ng mga hinanaing. Pero kahit ganoon, may kaunting parte sa akin na natutuwa na marinig iyon galing kaya Papa.

Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin ay mabilis akong bumalik sa kusina at saka niyakap si Xaviell. Sandali pa siyang hindi nakagalaw dahil sa gulat pero niyakap din naman ako pabalik.

"For some reason, I feel so kind," I said with a chuckle.

I looked up to him and saw that his eyes were already on me. He gave me a smile, causing my insides to go berserk. "You make me proud..."

I playfully rolled my eyes at him and sat on the chair instead. Inaya ko na siyang kumain dahil kung hindi, baka kung ano-anong banat na naman ang lumabas sa bibig niya.

"Papa wants to formally introduce Valerianna to our clan so... I'm going to Aldea Blanca," sabi ko. "You can obviously come... only if you want to—"

"Of course, I'll go with you!" Aniya. "Tinatanong pa ba 'yan?"

We then spent the next days preparing for our trip. Balak naming pumunta kina Nea. Before, the mountains where Nea resides were considered as this haunted place so only hikers had the courage to go there.

But now, I'm not exactly sure what happened but I guess the people in Aldea Blanca grew out of such phase. Wala nang kung ano-anong mga usap-usapan tungkol sa village nina Nea.

"So, what is she like? I mean, we've met but we're not that close!"

Pagkarating namin ng Aldea Blanca, agad na tinadtad ng mga pinsan si Xaviell ng mga tanong tungkol kay Valerianna.

"You'll know what you need to know once you meet her," sagot ko.

Pagkatapos ng tanghalian namin sa bahay, dumiretso kami ni Xaviell sa cottage. Ang plano sana namin ay maglibot-libot habang hinihintay si Nea kasi siya ang susundo sa amin. 'Yon nga lang ay mas nauna pang makarating si Nea sa cottage kaysa sa amin.

"It's gonna be a long walk," Nea said, then started leading the way.

Kaunting lakad mula sa cottage ay nakarating na kami sa kagubatan kung saan ko unang nakilala si Nea. Pumitas ako ng mga bulaklak at saka dinala ang mga ito sa libingan ni Simone.

Nang makalabas kami sa kabilang bahagi ng kagubatan, isang malawak na ilog ang sumalubong sa amin. Ani Nea na shortcut na itong dinadaanan namin pero kahit ganoon ay naubos na yata ang lakas ko sa kalalakad namin.

"Don't tell me we have to cross the bridge," I commented when I saw the raging waters and the thin piece of wood that I think serves as the bridge between the two riverbanks.

Nea turned to me with a grin, "Then I won't tell you."

Nea expertly and fearlessly crossed the bridge. I bit my lips, now unsure whether I still want to visit Nea's place. Isang maling galaw lang kasi ay sigurado akong madadala ako ng agos ng tubig. The width of the "bridge" is too short that I'm not even sure if I can step on it with both of my foot beside each other! I don't think it can be considered as a bridge!

"I'll carry you," Xaviell offered. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa narinig pero bago pa ako makasagot ay mabilis niya na akong inangat at dumiretso na sa tulay.

Napatili ako dahil sa gulat pero ngumiti-ngiti lang si Xaviell habang narinig ko naman ang pag-cheer ni Nea.

"Xaviell!" I hissed. "Baka malaglag tayo!"

He's carrying me bridal style while crossing the bridge. Grabe na ang kabang nararamdaman ko pero parang wala lang iyon sa kaniya! Hindi pa nakatulong na sobrang lakas ng hampas ng tubig kaya lalo akong kinakabahan.

I felt Xaviell lift me up closer to his face. I felt his hand on my head and next thing I know, his lips was on my forehead. I'm sure he meant it as a reassuring kiss but it made me more nervous.

"Xaviell! Mamaya mo na 'ko landiin!" Pagalit kong sabi pero humalakhak lang siya.

He glanced at me with a smile. "I have a good balance, my Valentines, trust me..."

Bago ko pa maproseso ang kaniyang sinabi, naramdaman ko nang binaba niya ako. Tulala ko siyang tinitigan pero nginitian niya lang ako sabay lahad ng kamay.

He and Nea chatted while I focused on my steps. Sigurado ako na kung makikipag-usap pa ako sa kanila ay mas mabilis akong mapapagod. Xaviell offered plenty of times to carry me but I refused.

Halos isang oras din kaming naglakad bago nakarating sa kabukiran. Kung shortcut na itong dinaanan namin, hindi ko ma-imagine kung sa ibang route pa kami dumaan.

The long walk was worth it, though. The view from the mountain top is mesmerizing. Buong Aldea Blanca ay kitang-kita at iba ang simoy ng hangin dito—mas malamig at mas nakakakalma.

I raised both hands, feeling the cold wind as it messed with my hair. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam tuwing tumatama ang hampas ng hangin sa aking mukha. It's like getting a cold-water facial.

I felt a strong set of arms around my waist. Pinatong ni Xaviell ang kaniyang baba sa aking balikat at isinandal ko naman ang ulo sa kaniya. Sandali kaming nanatili roon bago kami tinawag ni Nea.

"Enjoy-in niyo na ang ilog kasi minsan lang pwedeng maligo rito," ani Nea at saka tinuro ang ilog sa may 'di kalayuan.

"Is that the same river?" Tanong ko.

Nea nodded. "'Yong village namin, nasa taas pa ngunit baka magabihan tayo... I'll bring you guys there next time but we have to leave earlier..."

Xaviell wasted no time in swimming while I stayed at the riverbank with Nea.

"'Yong bahay namin noon, nasa tapat lang talaga ng ilog kaso palaging bumabaha ang ilog tuwing umuulan kaya ni-relocate kami," Nea shared, then looking at the river longingly.

"Maligo ka na," pag-uudyok niya. "Baka uulan sa mga susunod na araw at hindi ka na talaga makakaligo."

I shook my head. Hindi ako nagdala ng mga damit pangligo dahil kakailanganin kong mag-shorts. Ayaw ko pang ipakita ang mga peklat ko.

"Ah basta, sinabihan kita," aniya pa sabay tapik sa balikat ko. "Kapag kasi umuulan doon sa taas, kahit pa doon ka pa maligo sa pinakamababang parte, delikado na..."

Nea and I continued our conversation until we decided to leave. I invited her to the welcoming party for Valerianna and on our way back, we planned our visit to their village. Aniya na imbitahan ko rin daw ang mga pinsan.

"Xaviell, dito na lang tayo?" Tanong ko nang makalabas ng banyo. Nasa cottage kami ngayon at dito kami dumiretso pagkatapos kaming ihatid ni Nea.

Hindi naman ganoon kalayo ang bahay mula sa cottage pero namamaga ang mga paa ko at hindi ko na yata kayang maglakad pauwi.

I turned to Xaviell when he didn't respond. Naka earphones pala siya habang nagluluto at pagiling-giling pa ang kaniyang baywang. Hindi niya yata narinig ang tanong ko.

Nakangiti akong lumapit sa kaniya at saka niyakap ang mga braso sa kaniyang baywang. Napaigtad siya at parang naestatwa pa.

I took his earphones off and tiptoed so I could reach his ear. "Calm down, ako lang 'to," bulong ko, pinipigilan na tuksuhin siya.

Bago pa siya makaharap sa akin ay umalis na ako at dumiretso sa may kwarto para makapagbihis. Saktong pagkabalik ko ng kusina ay tapos na siya sa pagluluto.

He glanced at me while placing the food on the table but immediately did a double take. His eyes widened before averting his gaze to the side.

I chuckled. My shirt probably caught his attention and now he can't look at me.

I went in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection, at my shirt, to be exact. I'm wearing a cropped, printed shirt that says "no bra club."

"Are you bothered? I can wear a bra." Tanong ko kay Xaviell na hanggang ngayon ay nakatalikod pa rin sa akin.

He turned to me and shook his head. His eyes then dropped to my chest which made him look away again.

"Just wear what you're comfortable with," he said seriously. He's now facing me but his eyes were on the side. Pinipigilan ko lang na matawa sa kaniyang hitsura dahil para bang kasalanan para sa kaniya na tumingin sa akin.

"Okay... if you say so," I said, then brining my eyes back to my reflection. "Wala naman 'to, Xav, ah!" I said, trying to make a point.

He slowly turned to me. He swallowed hard and nodded before turning his back. I saw him open a drawer and took some utensils.

"You look bothered," sabi ko ulit. "Wala naman talaga... gusto mong hawakan?"

Napaigtad ako nang narinig ang pagtama ng mga kubyertos sa sahig. I turned to Xaviell and saw him frantically picking the utensils he dropped.

"What the hell?" He cursed under his breath. Pagkatapos pulutin ang mga kubyertos ay binigyan niya ako ng hindi-makapaniwalang tingin. "What are you talking about, woman?"

"What?" I answered defensively. "I was just trying to make a point 'cause there's nothing here," I said, then looking down to my chest.

I glanced at the mirror before turning back to him. I grinned at him, making him sigh.

"You're making me crazy," he said with a chuckle.

"I was just teasing you, Xav," sabi ko sabay labas ng dila at bumelat.

I went to the kitchen and sat. I waited for him to do the same but he only gave me his serious gaze. "Don't joke about something like that... baka seryosohin ko at patulan kita."

I raised a brow at him and laughed. "I wonder what you'd do..."

Tinaasan niya rin ako ng kilay at binigyan ako ng mapaghamong tingin. "Come here," he called, then tapping his lap.

"Why?" Gulat kong tanong.

"So I can fondle them and answer your ques—"

"Xaviell!" Saway ko dahil mabilis na uminit ang mga pisngi ko dahil sa kaniyang sinabi. I didn't expect him to be this blunt. Tinutukso ko lang naman kasi siya.

Humalakhak siya at pumalakpak pa. I glared at him as he laughed. He went beside me and hugged me from the side. He planted a kiss on my neck, still laughing.

"See? Now you know how I feel when you're teasing me."

I frowned at him but he only grinned. Nagsimula na kami sa pagkain pero panay pa rin ang tukso namin sa isa't isa. After we finished our food, we ate ice cream for dessert.

Hindi ko alam kung saan niya kinuha ang mga Cornetto pero pinuno niya ang freezer ng mga iyon.

"Xaviell," tawag ko sabay lahad ng Cornetto tip sa kaniya.

"Hmm? You want mine?" Aniya sabay kagat ng ice cream para iyong tip na lang ang natitira. "Here."

I shook my head with a chuckle. "Hindi! I'm giving mine to you... pambawi..."

Nalilito niyang tinanggap ang Cornetto tip at umalis na ako sa hapag para mahugasan ang mga pinggan. I was in the middle of drying the plates when I felt his arms on my waist.

"Let me help," aniya sabay patong ng baba sa aking balikat.

"Tapos na." I wiped my hands and turned to face him. He placed both hands on each of my sides so now I'm trapped in between.

Binaba niya ang kaniyang ulo at saka nagtama ang aming mga noo. Napalunok ako dahil sa hindi maipaliwanag na nararamdaman. I gave him a cute smile, hoping it'll vanish whatever this is that I'm feeling.

"You ready for tomorrow?" He asked. Sandali akong nag-isip, huli nang naintindihan ang tinutukoy niya.

I nodded, then looking down. Pilit akong ngumiti bago ipinalibot ang mga braso sa kaniyang baywang. Sinandal ko ang ulo sa kaniyang dibdib at nagpahinga roon.

Bukas na ang party na inihanda ni Papa para kay Valerianna. Unti-unti ko na ring natatanggap na may kapatid ako. I mean... there's nothing wrong with it plus she seems nice. Ang hindi ko lang nagustuhan ay ang pagtago nito ni Papa mula sa akin.

Sandali pa kaming nanatili ni Xaviell sa kusina bago namin napagdesisyunan na lumabas at tumambay sa may hammock. Unlike the one I had before, the hammock here is wider. Kasya na kaming dalawa ni Xaviell kahit pa nakahiga kami.

Pinulupot ko ulit ang mga braso sa kaniyang baywang at saka ginawang unan ang kaniyang balikat. Hindi naman ako ganito ka-clingy at sanay naman akong matulog na mag-isa. But for some reason, I like this position when I'm with Xaviell.

"Alam mo, Xav, ikaw ang una kong nagustuhan... like romantically na super duper gusto," I shared. I'm not sure why I said it but it just felt like the right thing to say.

Kahit nakakahiya nang kaunti sa parte ko, gusto ko rin na malaman niya ang naramdaman ko noon para sa kaniya. I feel like it's important to share this to him because, after all, what happened in the past is part of our present... it all started there...

I can feel his eyes on me but I continued. A part of me feels bashful but then, it's him. It's Xaviell. Maybe he's gonna smile at this confession of mine but I know he's listening and he's taking me seriously.

"I liked you more than I thought I did," pag-amin ko. "Kaya noong umalis ka, nasaktan ako."

"You're my first heartbreaker, Xav," I said in almost a whisper, then glancing at him.

Him, being my heartbreaker, was something I never wanted to admit to myself. Gusto kong paniwalain ang sarili na hindi ko siya ganoon kagusto. Gusto kong isipin na hindi ganoon kalala ang epekto niya sa akin.

"I guess, what happened were just too much for my young heart," I continued with a small smile. The past seems like nothing but a distant memory.

I turned to him and caressed his face. Seryoso ang kaniyang mga mata at nakatutok lang iyon sa akin. "But now that I'm thinking about this, I'm almost certain that I'm the one who hurt myself... it's my expectations that hurt me."

His lips curved into a smile, then positioning his face on my neck. Nakakakiliti ang kaniyang hininga pero hinayaan ko siya roon.

"I'm sorry na inaway kita," bulong ko, tama lang na marinig niya.

He placed a soft kiss on the side of my lips, his thumb gently caressing my cheek.

"It's okay, Valentines," he assured. Tinukod niya ang siko at saka tumagilid ng higa. "The important thing now is that I'm your lover." Aniya pa sabay kindat.

I chuckled, then pulling him down. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili at pinagpag na ng halik ang kaniyang mukha.