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I'm crawling through my tunnel.
When everything is dim, where does one go?
I crawl into my tunnel.
It's kinda shaky, may even crumble.
I'm talking to a lame man.
When you're maimed, where does one go?
I fall into my tunnel.
The Germs.

"Julianne, this is Mark and this is his house. Mark, I took Julianne to a concert."

My stocky friend eyed us up and down, paying close attention to our clasped hands.

He can't believe I'm with a girl...

"Hi, Julianne. Glad you could make it. Are you in band with Ray?"

Surprisingly, Julianne didn't hesitate.
"No, I'm going to be on the flag squad. We march with the band."

Mark's eyes shifted to me. I had previously shared my opinion of the Tall Flag Girls with him.

"Talentless, and not hot enough to be real cheerleaders..."

A tiny gesture with my finger kept him from revealing anything. He shook his head. "You band people, sheesh! Some of your tribe is in the den. Good to see you, Ray. It's been awhile since we hung out."

Julianne did not appear to have anything to add, so Mark and I bumped fists, then he ambled away.

"Julianne, do you want to meet my band friends? I mean, I don't really hang out with them, but we're in band together, so I thought I'd say hi, and maybe you'd want to... umm."

Julianne took a deep breath. "Umm... Ok."

What the fuck is her problem? Such a good-looking girl shouldn't be this shy. I'm a super-introverted dork, and I regularly put myself out there. Never mind that it often ends up in humiliation...

I led her into the sunken den, where three girls and four boys played the new game Trivial Pursuit. "Hi everyone, this is Julianne. She's Michelle's sister."

They looked up with suspicious expressions.

Yeah, I'm with a girl. Fuck you...

The only one I could sort of call a friend was Jennifer, who invited, "Hello, Julianne. Come sit with us and help answer the questions."

She squeezed my hand in terror and lisped in my ear. "Ray? Please don't make me."

"Julianne, they're nice people, what's the matter?"

She buried her face inside my jacket. "Please..."

All eyes fell on us, and I knew exactly what they thought.

Of course that weirdo has a crazy girlfriend...

Trying to hide my self-disgust, I waved. "Thanks Jennifer, but we're going outside. See you guys later."

Jennifer gave me a sympathetic wave but the rest of the group ignored us. My eyes narrowed as I considered what just happened.

Julianne was supposed to be my ticket to being accepted. Everyone was supposed to be impressed with her, she and I would hang out with other band couples, and...

She ruined it. I'm so stupid. It was never going to happen. I'll never be one of them. Fuck them. All of them...

Julianne peeped, "I'm so sorry, Ray. I get all nervous, and I'm not smart like you. I'd just embarrass us."

You already did, Babe. Ahh, well...

I stroked her warm cheek. "It's ok. Let's go outside, Julianne."

*************

I continued to quietly hold her hand, as Julianne seemed content to merely sit on a patio bench with me and observe the party's teenage antics.

The synth-laden intro to Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance," blared from a television in the living room, and through a lightly curtained window I saw a group dancing around to the catchy hit MTV video.

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"We can dance, we can dance, everyone look at your hands. It's a Safety Dance!"

I intertwined our fingers and asked, "Julianne, do you want to dance?"

Her strong fingers gripped mine. "No, I don't dance well."

Had it been the first question of the night, I might have reassured and encouraged her into it, but she had worn me down.

Remember the plan...

"Uhh, Julianne, how about a beer? Or a bong hit?"

She stiffened. "Oh, no. Ray, I don't do those things. I'm a..."

Good girl? Bitch, who are you to judge? And furthermore...

I had learned to turn my face away when hostility surfaced, so Julianne did not witness my angry expression. The rage faded quickly, as I recalled what a prude I had been as a sophomore.

Yeah, I thought I'd never ditch, drink, smoke, and steal, either. Funny what two years can do...

My arm went around Julianne's shoulder and she eased into me. I considered asking if she wanted to make out, but a familiar face strolled over to us and greeted me with a nickname.

  "Hi, Mousey! Mark didn't tell me you were coming."

Nearly as tall as Julianne, and over twice as voluptuous, Taylor stood out in any crowd. Almost exactly a year before, I had partied with Mark, Taylor and her best friend, Bunny.

Bunny. I wonder what she's doing. I wish she was here. That girl was so much fun. She talked about everything, danced, drank with me, understood me... sort of.

But Julianne is much prettier. I'm confused...

Our pet names for each other, Bunny and Mousey, had marked a semester of flirty friendship, and we had been mistaken for a couple a few times. Tragically, Bunny had moved to Oregon on the summer day I finally asked her out.

"Taylor. Umm, yeah... Hello... Oh, this is Julianne."

Along with her large physical presence, Taylor's boisterous yet friendly personality could intimidate strangers. Especially shy ones. "Hi Julianne, pleased to meet you. Have you and Ray been a couple for long?"

My date looked up at me, in a silent plea to protect her from harm. I rubbed her shoulder and explained, "No, this is our first date. We met two nights ago."

I could almost see a cartoon thought bubble above Taylor's head, growling, "Ray, you asshole. You knew my wonderful best friend Bunny for a whole semester and didn't have the balls to ask her out until it was too late. But all of a sudden, this... silly bimbo comes along, and you get right to it? Asshole."

Taylor hid her displeasure well and spoke in soothing tones. "Hmm. That's... interesting. Well, Julianne, you're with a really great guy."

Julianne lisped. "I think so, too. Nice to meet you, Taylor. Bye."

Some indecipherable code passed between the two girls, then Taylor gave me a wry smile and glided away.

What was that all about? Chicks are weird...

A/N: Mark, Taylor, and Bunny are in Bunny & Mousey.

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