Working as a first responder was fast-paced; shifts were filled with loud voices and adrenaline pumping through the body. Some responders preferred to live a quiet life outside work, something to balance them.

Not Harper.

The State Fair had been rough, Harper watched as the man Buck was rescuing fell, and had to sit with Buck after, giving him the advice no other first responder would.

"They'll tell you to try and move on, but you can't, not truly,"

After, she left the firehouse and checked her phone, finding a message from Theo inviting her over.

She goes to decline, then remembers the man's body. By morning, she regrets it again.

"I was right there..." Buck starts over dinner at the fire house "You know all he had to do was reach up and grab my hand,"

"People do funny things at times like that. Sometimes they just freeze up," Chimney shrugs

"I've never lost anyone before, does it get any easier?"

"No," Both Harper and Bobby respond at once, glancing at each other briefly before Harper sits next to Buck with a full plate.

"Look, people die, and that's part of the gig, right? See, your problem is, you're looking at every job like it's a long-term relationship. They're one-night stands, man. In that moment, they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes... it's on to the next one,"

"Chim, that's not-"

"Hey!" Hen enters with a grin "You guys don't mind, I brought some company to family dinner," behind her, a familiar woman in uniform follows "Athena's going through some, uh, some stuff at home, so she could use some TLC," Chimney brings her into an embrace and she falls into a side hug with Bobby.

"Well, we don't usually allow cops at secret firehouse meetings, but I'll make an exception,"

"Mm. All right. Appreciate that," Athena greets Harper with a rub on the shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze, Harper puts her hand over the other woman's, her other waving. Athena moves to it opposite Buck.

"You know, I ain't sold on you yet, but...I think keeping me from getting shot deserves a second chance," she goes for a handshake and Buck looks at her for a moment before letting his lips upturn slightly, returning the shake "Hey, there won't be a third, though,"

"Buck here is having a little trouble moving on from a call that didn't go his way," Bobby explains once everyone is sat, immediately digging in.

"You know why they make us wear these uniforms, right? Cops, firefighters, paramedics?"

"Sex Appeal?" Chimney asks and Harper snorts

"Mm-hmm," Athena smirks

"So people can easily identify us,"

"That's true," she nods at Buck "but it's also for our own good. Because when we take the uniform off at the end of the day, it symbolises letting go of all of the sad, crazy, inhumane things we've seen that day,"

"...I see his face every time I close my eyes. That happen to you guys?" glances are shared, and it takes a moment for anyone to respond, it's Athena who finally does.

"It'll pass,".

"You feeling any better?" Harper asks a few days later, not in the silence of the Station, but in a packed bar, Buck sat on the other side of the counter to her as she passes him a beer.

"Uh yeah," he nods "I think so. Bobby uh, recommended a counselor..." he avoids Harper's eyes for a second and she can read him like a book.

"Mhm?"

"And I slept with her,"

"Jesus. After the session?"

"During the session, on the couch,"

She can't help but laugh "And that made you feel better?"

"Not really..." he takes a sip of his beer "But uh, a friend helped,"

"A friend?" she leans on the counter, brown hair falling over her shoulder "You have friends outside of the 118?"

"Ha ha very funny," he hopes the conversation will move on, but Harper is staring at him intently, waiting "Okay, she's a dispatcher, she got my number off a report and -"

Harper blinks .

"What?"

"That seems like a privacy breech,"

"She just anted to check in!" he defends

"Uh huh. Did you sleep with her too?"

"No!"

"He doth protest too much," Harper sing songs

"She asked me out, and I said no so that I wouldn't sleep with her," he explains, his finger pointed for exaggeration

"Was this in the first phone call or -?"

"Second,"

"Buck!" Harper practically cackles as she leans away from the counter, scanning the bar for any new customers to serve. She finds one "Oh shit,"

"Huh?" Buck looks in the same direction of her "Friend of yours?"

Theo Anderson is stood at the end of the bar, a stupid smirk on his face as he flags her over.

"Apparently,"

"He's cute, you should go for it,"

Harper sighs "I have gone for it, many times," Buck makes an 'oh' sound in acknowledgement "If I tap the bar three times, call me over," she instructs before walking over to the other man.

"Hey you," Harper only hums in response "Busy night?"

"Why are you here Theo?"

"I thought we could grab some food after your shift," he shrugs casually

"You know what my ans-" she glances back at the sound of Buck's laugh. His phone was pressed to his ear, his beer in his other hand as he looks straight ahead "You know what? Sure,".

----------&----------

a/n: just a small note to let you all know that I'm taking this fic very casually. It's just for me to write little bits about Harper and her journey through the years and I thought I might as well publish it. That being said, I really do hope you all enjoy it!