Song attached: You found me by The Fray.

Warning: the italicized sentences within quotation marks at the end of each part is NOT A PART OF DANUJ'S MIND. It's just words I couldn't help but write there.

NOT PROOFREAD.

<unedited>

Chapter 09

"Eat some more," my aunt urged and though my stomach was full, I motioned for her to fill my plate since it might take a while to eat her cooking again.

Once breakfast was over, we set to the school to finish my transfer procedure. Thinking back now, running away from home had been a good idea. Foolish, but good.

Keira was the best part. River was a bonus. School was okay too. And it gave me assurance that when everything goes wrong, my aunt is always here to have my back.

"Will you say goodbye to her?"

It wouldn't take Einstein's brain to figure out for whom the 'her' stood for. Lately, my life only had one 'she.'

I shook my head and ate the rest of the meal as nonchalant as possible. But again, I learnt it the hard way that I wasn't exactly the best when it came to emotionless emotions.

My aunt only sighed in response.

"Hope you don't regret it." She said, pursing her lips together.

I shrugged. "Don't worry," I said, "I won't regret anything."

"I kept lying and lying, until one day, I started believing those lies too..."

*

*

*

Funny how when you decide on one course of things, your heart starts to pull you towards the opposite side which you left to get to this one.

No, suddenly I didn't want to run to Keira, take her in my arms and keep whispering how much I loved her. I didn't love her. Borderline romantic affection? Yes. Love? No. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind didn't want to leave this quaint little town. Somewhere between the lines, I sort of started liking this almost cliché town.

Like most fictional small towns, it rained a lot here. Had too much greenery that the green hurt your eyes. Brown barks were the only warmth you get and though not everyone knew everyone, most were recognisable. A regular at the cafe. A customer at the book store. A bench buddy at the small library. Somewhere or other, you would've met them. Often enough to recognise them out of the faces in the crowd. It was scary and comforting in a way.

I would seriously miss this town when I leave.

Would the people notice when I'm not around anymore? The nephew of that nice unmarried woman. The kid who hangs out with the well loved Wilson twins. Would my so called classmates miss me when there won't be my name in the roll call anymore? When there is no one to observe each meaningless conversation from the back of the class? I don't know. And I didn't want to know.

Some things only have that glamour in them when they remain mysterious. Hopeful and yearning, some thoughts mean a dime only when you keep wondering about it. Because knowing that they missed me would make me return here and learning that no one gave a shit about me will be another dull strike on me.

"If you think too much, you'll go bald in a few years."

My eyes automatically rolled when I heard the snarky tone of River Wilson. He was in uniform while I was in casuals. His sister wasn't with him and I was both thankful and disappointed at that. I really wanted to meet her before leaving.

I was actually going for a punch but River jumped back a little and hit his fist with mine, effectively turning it into a fist bump. He smirked a little and I rolled my eyes again.

Silence filled as we both stood awkwardly side to side with no Keira to fill it up. Finally River coughed.

"Why weren't you at school today?"

We both started walking. Oh well, here it goes.

"I'm going back."

He shot me a confused look as he pulled the adjustment strap of his backpack.

"River, I'm going back home. To the town from where I came."

"Oh."

To be honest, I didn't even expect River to give an 'oh' as a reply. I seriously expected him to shrug and walk away. Instead, he stopped walking.

"Going back as in continue living there again. School and all that shit there?"

"Garlic," my lips blurted out subconsciously.

He snorted. "As if you're one to say. Hypocrite."

And for the first time, River Wilson sounded light hearted. And friendly.

"Yeah," I answered, looking down at my shoes. There was a huge lump on my throat, and it felt like someone was pushing my shoulders down. And like many, many things, it surprised me too. Who knew saying goodbye to River would be this hard?

He didn't reply anything for a while which reminded me of his sister. Keira and her meaningful silences. Keira and her meaningless banters. Suddenly, they really did seem like siblings.

"Does Keira know?" he asked finally.

I licked my dry lips. The chill rainy air made sure my lips looked like dried chilli. "No," I said. It came out more like a whisper.

River simply hiked his bag higher as a reply. We started walking again and after what seemed like ages, River talked again.

"Did she... did that girl tell anything out of ordinary to you?"

I didn't want to tell River about the confession but there was a feeling deep down that told me that River might already know. At that moment, I somehow understood what Keira meant by 'toe feeling.' It wasn't a grave sucking sensation in the gut. It was just a prickling sensation in my foot. So she wasn't just making it up.

"Yeah," I said, my pace increasing on it's own accord. Blood pumped in my ears and my heart felt like it could jump right out of my chest. Over protective brothers are troublesome, seriously. "She said she loves me."

"That idiot" I heard River mutter under his breath. And then be surprised me. He stopped me by gripping my wrist and suddenly, with bowed head, he whispered 'I'm truly sorry.'

And the next second, he punched me. And punched me. And punched me. Till an ugly blue bruise formed on my cheek, my forehead above my left eyebrow and the side of my chin.

I didn't resist though.

"The sorry was for my sister's idiotic act of confession," he said in an almost strangled voice, "and the punches were for hurting that girl. She didn't cry. But I'm her twin and I know when something is eating her from the inside. I can't blame you for her falling in love with someone who can't reciprocate her feelings. But again, in an unfair way, it is your fault for coming to this town and making her fall for yo — ugh fuck this shit! My unattractive brother side is showing up. Forget everything I just uttered right now!"

He then straightened and smoothed my collar, dusted my shoulders, and thumped my shoulder. Who knew River could punch so well?

Suddenly I was laughing hard. Cracking up even.

"Sorry," I wheezed out in between bouts of laughs. "It's just that, suddenly you sound normal for the first time."

It wasn't even that funny in the first place. But River Wilson started laughing too. We both laughed till tears rolled down our cheeks. Know those times when you all keep laughing for some dumb crap but you can't stop even though your stomach muscles are protesting so much? Those random moments when you feel so light that your head becomes dizzy and just for a second, you feel like the happiest person in the whole world though you don't know what you're laughing about? It was one of those moments. It felt good that I managed to have one such moment with River.

But it sucked like a bitch that this might be the last time I have such a moment with him.

"All good things come to an end..."

*

*

*

My dad didn't know I was coming back. So it was decided that I would take the bus to my place, talk things out with him, try to coexist and simply live.

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I jumped over the Wilson's fence. In the distance, a dog was barking and some crickets were being noisy like any other day. Except for them, it was a quiet night.

It didn't take that much persuasion to let River give permission for me to break into his house. Technically not break since River knows about it but roughly speaking, it was breaking.

Maybe inside, River was as big a softie as a Saint Bernard. Or maybe, he simply didn't care.

I had requested him to leave the door to the balcony open, without the bolts being in place so that I could climb the tree up and enter the house. A fond smile made it's way as I thought about the night Keira climbed down this exact tree to come running to me. A sad emptiness replaced the smile when I thought about how much Keira has done for me.

Only if I had been right for her.

Pressing my eyes shut, I concentrated on the present and started climbing the tree. I still couldn't climb trees as effortlessly as her but I still managed to reach the balcony without drawing much attention. Once on the balcony I tiptoed as silently as I could and opened the door.

Thankfully, it didn't creak.

Trying to remember River's directions to his sister's room, I roamed into the unfamiliar house in complete darkness. I could feel cool wood press my extended finger tips and praying that it would be the correct door, I opened it quietly.

Keira Wilson didn't look peaceful in her sleep. Instead, she looked funny. Her mouth was wide open and a trail of drool was there on her right chin. Her hands were sprawled above her head and her legs where stretched wide. And thankfully, her comforter did an amazing job in covering her whole body. Her wild hair framed her face and spilled all over her pillow and even down the bed.

She didn't look like an angel.

But she did look magical.

I sat down on her bed, my eyes not leaving her face as I etched every detail in there. It was useless to be honest, since human brain didn't have that sort of memory. One day or other, you will forget your prized memory no matter how hard you try to remember it. It was bound to happen. But like a child, I clutched onto the fantasy of how some memories never fade and took all of her into my mind.

In a way, I was being borderline masochistic. But again, love wasn't the only thing in my life. My affair with my father from which I tried to run, trying to develop into a good heir, becoming a better person... and every miniscule detail of my life that didn't revolve around love. Yeah, together, they all weighed more than my selfish happiness of spending quiet evenings with Keira on the branch of our tree from the park.

A realisation hit me and I chuckled without any humour.

Funny how we realise things in the worst moment ever.

Looking at Keira sleeping without any care and reminiscing monotonous memories, it was evident that it wasn't just borderline romantic affection. It was indeed love. Well at least to some extent.

And then, I did the unthinkable.

"I think I'm also in love with you Keira Wilson," I whispered. Not as strong as hers. Or as strong as my mother's for my father. It was small and young. But it was there.

Seriously, worst timing.

Gingerly, I took one of her sprawled hands in mine and pressed a small piece of paper into her palm. The small paper seemed to weigh tons and I swallowed as I withdrew my shaky hands off. Almost immediately, subconsciously, my hands took her hand with the paper again, and before I could stop myself, I pressed my lips to the inside of her wrist, feeling the warmth as I kissed her hand.

At least, she is real.

The next moment, I was out of the door. Without turning back, I walked out to the balcony, not halting to look back or wake her up and whisper 'goodbye.'

'Goodbye's and 'see you's are the exact same thing. Just another set of deceiving words which had the same mindless, blind hope of accidentally meeting loved ones again.

So yes, I said to myself, no more goodbyes.

"Some things are better left unsaid..."

*

*

*

It's been few days since Danuj Pradhan ran away.

To outer eyes, it looked like Keira Wilson didn't care much. But inside, it was eating her alive, inch by inch, and though there was nothing she could do, she couldn't help feeling the torpid sadness. 

But then, remembering why Danuj left without even saying goodbye, she held her head high and took a deep breath.

For him, she whispered to herself.

The paper in her pocket seemed to pull her and in a practised gesture, she took it, smoothing the creases and folds on it after being opened and folded so many times.

It was the only thing Danuj left her.

They never took photos nor any mementos. Sometimes it sacred her whether it was all a sick dream, that she had imagined those wonderful brown eyes and beautiful face. Then River would look her into her eye and she would calm down, relieved that he wasn't just a figment of her imagination.

She unfolded the paper he left her before disappearing. It had only two words.

Gaining some sort of strength from it, she swung her legs, perched on the top branch of their tree, wind in her hair and a lost memory in the air.

The words that Danuj left her smiled from inside her pocket.

Don't wait.