Not much action in the first chapter. To people who haven't read Is He A She?!, 'Jeremy' is actually Danuj. IHAS's lead Uthra (Danuj's ex fiancée) actually used to call him 'Jeremy.' I hope no one gets confused and it would be best if you read the chapter 'You' (2nd 'you' not the first one) and 'Have' if you want to understand the second part of the story :) And guys, tell me if I'm doing an okay job haha.

Dedicated to everyone who has done a mistake, small or big, but regrets it. You can't correct the mistake but you can prevent it from happening again. You aren't alone so if you feel too guilt ridden, go to your friends or family!

Officially dedication to Klowbix , winner of IHAS' one shot. She still hasn't any published books but she is a force to be reckoned. Do check her profile out!

Glossary:-

Amma - mother

Chapter 01

"I'm not taking no for an answer."

I looked up to find identical brown eyes look down at mine, hers, trying to look intimidating, mine, tired of having this staring match.

"I'm not saying no," I mumbled as I looked down at my phone subconsciously. A picture of my ex fiancée, ex best friend and me, all smiling and looking ridiculously happy adorned it and at that moment, all I wanted was to smash the phone against the wall opposite to me.

"I'm just—" I cleared my throat and licked my dry lips, "I'm just asking for a few days to settle in."

My aunt blew out a breath as she rolled her eyes.

"You've been 'settling' down for more than twenty days now," she said air quoting 'settling.'

"I know," I groaned as I ran a hand through my hair for the nth time, making it stand up in a way she liked.

Uthra.

"I'm sorry, okay? I just..." I trailed off as I didn't know what to actually say. My head once again bent down on it's own accord.

"Danuj," I heard my aunt whisper and a second later, warm lips pressed against my temple. I didn't stiffen or anything but something tugged inside my chest and I felt my lips starting to quiver.

The gesture felt too familiar, too warm and too affectionate. It was just like my mom's kisses.

"I'm not going to ask you what's wrong, okay?" she said as her fingers mindlessly ruffled my hair, "I mean, minding your jerk of a father, anything could go wrong. So I won't ask you why you ran away from your home to here. But if we want your father to back off, you've to join school here. He's threatening to come here and drag you back."

A bitter chuckle escaped my lips as I wiped the sweat off my face, suddenly feeling more than tired.

"Since when did he start to care anyway?"

I didn't expect any answer and my aunt didn't bother to give one.

The silence between us dragged to immeasurable levels as my aunt shot me numerous worried glances. I sighed and nodded my head.

"Okay," I said, getting up from the couch, "I'll join."

*

*

*

"Je—Jeremy?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Are you a pet dog or a pet cat?"

"I'm a dragon so now, shut up."

The buzz of the static became prominent. Pronounced. Annoying.

"Why..?"

"Because you're a prude, Uthra."

Because you're a prude, Uthra.

Prude, Uthra.

Uthra. Uthra. Uthra.

Someone stop the echoes.

Uthra. Uthra. 

Because you're a prude, Uthra.

Prude. Prude. Pru— stop the echoes!

"Why..?"

Why? Why? Why?

Why..?

Huge black eyes stared at me, so vulnerable and crestfallen. Betrayed.

Stop looking at me!

"I feel like he is a she. What is her name?"

"I thought I'd discuss with you and name him."

She looked at me, black eyes filled with joy. She's so cute. "Jeremy," she said smiling.

She really was so cute.

"Not again." I groaned. I faked exasperation. I wasn't unhappy. She was really cute. Cuter than the rabbit she was holding.

She simmered and in place, a older Uthra stared back at me, lips trembling.

"Why..?" Stop looking at me like I'm a sick bastard!

Wake up, you idiot! Wake up! Clear that mist. Don't get led on by Ayisha. Wake up, I beg you...

"Because you're a prude, Uthra."

Black eyes of young Uthra stared back at me. Not the teenage girl anymore.

"Danuj?" she called softly.

"Pet," I reminded her in a whisper and a huge smile spread on her face. She's so cute. And she's mine.

"Je—Jeremy?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Are you a pet dog or a pet cat?"

"I'm a dragon so now, shut up."

Something warm slicked down my cheeks and I groaned, trying to open my eyes.

Darkness welcomed me but even though I had never liked darkness before, I was glad it was there. Not because I felt like darkness was evil. But because if it's dark, I can be myself since no one can see me. I didn't have to pretend.

I groaned again, wiping my eyes but the tears wouldn't stop. So I let them flow as I laid back on my bed. It felt stuffy and my forehead was sweaty but I didn't reach out to turn the air conditioner on.

"I love you."

How did I? How could I do that to her?

"I'm scared, amma."

And even though my mother wasn't there, I felt like a warmth enveloped me, a lingering kiss on my temple. "You'd be the best husband and father anyone could ask for."

I failed you, ma. I failed you. I'm not the son you were proud of. I'm just like him, ma.

I failed her.

Uthra.

"Jeremy!"

I closed my eyes, to get lost in the hollow blackness, wanting to drown her voice in the void but all I could see was her face. Clear and warm like always. With her huge nose, unruly long black hair and a big smile on her face. Genuine smile as she glanced at me, hand extended towards me.

"Jeremy."

A sound broke through the vision and I once again opened my eyes to the darkness to realise that it was me. The sound came again and I clutched the sheet covering me.

Another broken sob. And another. And another.

Till I was full on sobbing. This time there wasn't any tears. Just dry, hard, broken sobs and I hated myself for that.

"Please don't cry, Jeremy. Gonzales wouldn't be happy to see you like this."

I looked up to find her leaning towards me, huge black eyes sad and worried. She gave me a small smile. "And the Jeremy I know wouldn't cry. He's strong."

Strong.

Yeah, strong enough to break you.

Strong enough to break himself. I'm sorry, Uthra.

I'm sorry.

~✩~✩✩~✩~

Small first chapter. How was it? I liked it tbh (haha as a writer I shouldn't say that about my own writing but yeah :P I don't like the writing. But I like Jeremy slash Danuj).

I feel really sorry for Jeremy seriously. But this is the start. Let's see how he grows up. And IHAS readers may find Uthra, I don't know, a little girlish (lol, she's a girl) but this is Jeremy's pov while in IHAS, we had a chance to be in her mind so she isn't exactly girlish. Ahhh I miss IHAS already! 😭

Spread word about this book! Would mean the world for me. I'm super excited for this book xD

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