CHAPTER NINETEEN

Elena starts blasting So What by P!nk, and her sister throws a pillow at her. Nyx groans in annoyance as she pulls her other pillow over her head.

"Come on!" Elena yells as she bounces on her sister's bed. "You have to turn in your last credit before the graduation deadline today. Get up!"

"I hate you." She grumbles, and Elena chuckles.

A few minutes later, Nyx's banging on the bathroom door. "Jeremy! Open the damn door, you pothead! I have to pee, and you're polluting the bathroom!"

"Go away, Cole!" He calls from inside and she groans, causing their sister to laugh.

After Jeremy finally lets them use the bathroom, they get changed into their cheer uniforms. Nyx goes downstairs after Elena to find her and their aunt. "Ooh, coffee."

"Are you two trying to​ get me in trouble with your—" Jenna's cut off by her sister walking into the room.

"Morning." Miranda says with a smile.

"Morning, Mom." Elena smiles at her.

"Hey, does Dad still think his decoy birthday party is working?" Nyx asks.

"Nycole!" Elena and Jenna scold.

"What?" She asks. "It's cute that he keeps trying to throw surprise parties, but he's so bad at it."

"Oh, honey." Her mom walks over to her and places her hands on either side of her face with a warm smile on her own. "Let your father have this one." She tells her.

"Let me have what?" Grayson asks as he walks into the kitchen.

"Uh..." The doorbell rings. "There's Ty. Bye, guys." Nyx moves toward the front door, only stopping briefly​ to kiss her father's cheek. "Love you, Daddy." She smiles.

Nyx is leaving school later that day, and her boyfriend runs up behind her. He grabs her waist, and she chuckles as she turns to look up at him. "Hey." She smiles as she kisses him.

"Hi." He kisses her again. "What time am I picking you up for the bonfire tonight?" He asks, and she sighs.

"Don't hate me."

"Come on, Nyx. You have to go." He says, and she shakes her head.

"Jenna's in town. Elena and I have to stay home — it's family game night." She tells him.

"See if you can sneak out."

She hesitates for a second and then takes a breath while nodding. "Yeah, okay. I'll see what I can do." She says, and he smiles.

"Attagirl." He leans over and starts kissing her cheek. "I'll see you tonight."

"Bye." She pecks his lips and then goes to find Elena so that their mom can drive them home.

Dean groans as he rolls over in his bed. He doesn't​ remember falling asleep last night, not that he even remembers coming back to the motel. Sam found him drunk at a bar and had to drag his six-foot-one dumbass back.

"Please tell me that that fight yesterday was just a really bad dream." His says, his voice gruff as he looks up at the ceiling.

"Nope." Nyx says from where she's sitting in a chair at the table in his and Sam's room.

"And the dream I just had?"

"Wasn't a dream." She tells him.

He sighs as he looks over at her. "I half expected you and the twins to be half way to Timbuktu by now."

"The thought crossed my mind. Though, I was thinking somewhere a little more tropical." She says, and he smirks as he sits up, leaning against the headboard.

"Nyx, I—"

"Oh, you'll have your chance to apologize, and it better be epic." She says as she stands up. "But I get to talk first, and you're gonna keep your mouth shut while I do, but first thing's first... You can get mad at me, we can argue, you can even yell, but you cannot lash out like that. And if you ever throw something at me again, I will be gone before the glass hits the floor. And you will never see me again — me or the twins. I can live with monsters and hunting, but they will never know what it looks like for their father to lay on a hand on their mother."

"I know." He nods. "There aren't words to describe how sorry I am for what I did. And it will never, never happen again."

"I went through that once, and I won't do it again." She tells him, and his guilt feels heavier. "I will never feel that kind of fear again. I just won't."

"I—"

"No, I have a lot to say. You did your talking yesterday, it's my turn." She says, and he nods. "Yes, I have a history with Tyler, and I was in love with him once. He was such a huge part of my life for so long. And his mom meant a lot to me, so yes, her death hit us both hard. Especially because it was Klaus who drowned her. He has put us both through hell, so Tyler and I needed to lean on each other a little bit. And from six to seventeen is a long time, but Tyler and I broke up so long ago. It feels like a different life. He's with Caroline​ now, and I love you. You, Dean.

"And, yeah, Damon did — or maybe does — have feelings for me. I can't help that. But I needed someone that I could trust to help me get through this. Someone who understands what it's like to want to be good, even when there are so many things making that feel impossible. Initially, I thought that someone would be Stefan, but nothing in my life seems to go the way that I want it to, or the way that I plan.

"I never wanted to be attacked by a vampire after losing both of my parents, or be saved by a hunter with a bad attitude. I never planned on falling in love with that hunter — the same one who gave me a purpose again after I felt like I had nothing. I didn't plan on getting pregnant at seventeen or having my babies too early. And I sure as hell never wanted to be a vampire who's too afraid to be next to you." She says as she moves to sit beside him on the bed.

"I'm sorry." He says as he grabs her hand.

"I'm not done." She tells him, and he simply squeezes her hand. "You have nothing to worry about, Dean. But if this is going to work, you have to trust me. I've never given you any reason not to."

"Trust wasn't the problem." He tells her. "I felt like I was losing you. We were broken up, and you were distancing yourself from me. If you ever had or did anything with anyone else... You wouldn't have been in the wrong because it wouldn't have been cheating. We weren't together anymore so you were free to do whatever you wanted with whoever you wanted. And you kept saying that you were afraid you'd hurt me, then I noticed you talking to Damon more. I know I shouldn't have been jealous, but I was. I am. I can't be what you need. I can't help you like he can."

"No, you can't." She says, and he looks down. "You can't tell me ways to curb the cravings, or make me feel less ridiculous for my heightened emotions. You can't relate to this kind of struggle like he can... And that is exactly what I need from you, Dean. I need you to be exactly who you are. Human and good — everything that I have always fought to be." She says, and he looks back up at her.

Nyx climbs onto the bed and sits with her knees on either side of his hips, straddling him. He rests his hands on her hips, just above her thighs, as he looks at her. She takes a deep breath.

"I can't talk to you like I can talk to Damon because I'm not in love with him. His opinion matters, but in a different way than yours. I don't care if he thinks I'm being stupid, which I probably am a lot of the time. And yeah, I don't have to worry about losing control with him. Just like I don't have to worry with Tyler." She says. "And I know that my history with Tyler might be hard to hear, because he knows parts of me that you never will, like my parents. He met them and he had a relationship with them. And it does royally suck that you'll never have that, but if they were still here... We wouldn't be. You'd be hunting with Sam, and I'd be... I don't know, off at college somewhere. Or...dead. I don't know, and I don't really care." She tells him.

"How can you not care?"

"Because sitting here with you, I have something that no one else could ever give me. And I don't just mean the twins." She puts her hands on either side of his face. "I have never loved someone the way that I love you — as a human or a vampire. And I have never felt love from anyone the way that I feel it from you. Your hands on my hips, wrapped in your arms, a kiss on my forehead, a look in the rearview mirror, or laying by your side and talking for hours. I have never had that kind of connection with anyone but you. And I can't picture it with anyone but you."

He doesn't​ know what to say to that.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Dean. I broke up with you because after I turned I couldn't have sat with you like this. I needed to take time to learn more than just control." She tells him. "You said that when you look at me, you still see the girl that you were training at my family's lake house that Summer. And as much as I love that you can still see her, I'm not her anymore. And I don't just mean because I'm a vampire now. I've lost so much more since then, and every loss has taken a little bit of me with them. I needed time to figure out who I am as a vampire, and a sister, and a mother, and a friend, and a person. I didn't know how to be a girlfriend too, but I'm trying to figure that out now... And I need you to be patient with me, baby."

"I know." He nods as he reaches up and rests his hand on her cheek. "Can I kiss you now or are you still mad at me?" He asks, and she chuckles.

"Oh, I'm still mad." She says. "But you can kiss me. In fact, I'm going to demand it."

He smiles as she leans forward. The kiss is short, but sweet, and then she rests her forehead on his shoulder. He sighs as closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her.

"My parents would've loved you." She tells him. "Jeremy liked you, and he was always the biggest critic of anyone in mine and Elena's life. Sometimes​ it felt like he was the oldest, and he was trying to take care of us."

"He was — trying to take care of you and your sister." He says, and she pulls back and looks at him.

"He told Sam that he was happy I'd found you. When we were working that shtriga case, Jeremy told him about the first time I called to talk to him after I met you. We were at the lake house, and I was arguing with you while I was on the phone. He said it was the first time he'd heard me laugh since before our parents' funeral." She says, and he smiles. "And he told Damon that he wanted to be more like you — like both of us. You can't get any better than Jeremy's approval, and he hated Damon. Didn't like Tyler much when we were together either."

"I'm glad that he liked me." He says. "I wanted him to."

"You know, Jenna told Ric almost the same thing that Jeremy told Sam."

"Really?" He asks, and she nods.

"That night in New York, when I freaked out a little after Sam's comment about the demon, I called Ric. I wanted to know if he knew what Jenna thought about us." She explains. "She said that seeing us together was the first time she'd seen me genuinely happy since before the accident. She liked you, and so did Ric. He said that you were a good guy and he knew that you'd take care of me and the twins. They were like parents to me, and you had their approval. That means something. Hell, that means a lot, Dean."

"I never thought of it that way."

"And as for Marcel — I went to New Orleans to ask him if he had any idea how much longer it would take before I was in complete control. I wanted some insight on when I'd be able to trust myself around you. And I wanted the opinion of someone who doesn't have a bias toward me one way or another."

"I shouldn't have said anything about him, that was stupid." He shakes his head.

"It's not stupid if it bothers you." She tells him. "Caroline talked to him while she was there, he told her that he could see we only had eyes for each other after meeting us the first time. And the second he saw the twins, he knew that they were yours. I do like Marcel and his smile, but meeting him is like...seeing an old friend."

"I love you." He says, and she smiles.

"I love you." She says. "And if I haven't proven that yet, there's no way that I can."

"You don't have to prove anything." He tells her. "But I am going to spend every day of the rest of our lives together proving that you never have to worry about anything like yesterday happening again. I promise, I will never hurt or scare you like that again."

She smiles as she rests her forehead against his for a second. "Can we agree that the next time one or both of us gets angry, we'll sit down and talk like this again?" She asks.

"This calmly or in this position? Because I'm good with both." He says, and she laughs.

"You're a pain in my ass."

"It's part of my charm." He smiles before kissing her again. "Can I ask you something?" He asks, and she nods. "What was that while I was sleeping?"

"Damon told me how to do that. Caroline and Sam helped me figure it out last night."

"And that was..."

"It was the morning before my parents died." She tells him. "One of my last memories of us all together as a family. My favorite."

"Why'd you show it to me?" He asks. "And why last night?"

"When you and I met, I was broken. Jeremy described me as an empty shell. Losing them did that to me." She tells him. "Finding you... It saved me. You've given me back something I never thought I'd have again."

"And what's that?"

"Hope...that I can be that happy again."

"Will you show me the rest?" He asks, and she looks at him, confused. "Not the accident. The bonfire."

She looks down. "You mean me and Tyler — our fight."

"I saw the look on Caroline's face. How angry she was when she saw what I did."

"You want to see why."

"I want to understand." He tells her.

"That's not who he is anymore. He has a handle on his anger now." She says. "And it's not who you are. You don't have to worry."

"It's about more than that." He says. "This is the life that you would've had. Human...and with them."

"I was never going to have that life. Tyler's better with Caroline. And I'm better with you." She brushes her thumb over his cheek as she looks into his green eyes. "Close your eyes." She tells him, and he does.

"Tyler—"

"It's a fair question." He quickly cuts her off. "You go off to college two years ahead of us and then what? Huh? You meet someone there and that's it? What happens to us?"

"This is ridiculous!" Nyx snaps. "If you don't trust me, then why are we together?"

"I didn't say I didn't trust you."

"Then why are we having this conversation?" She questions. "I'm with you, Ty. It doesn't​ matter if I'm in Mystic Falls or not. There are very few things that could come between us — and some college guy... That's not one of them."

"Why don't you just wait?" He asks. "I'll graduate, and we can all go together."

"Put my life on hold for two years so that you can have your peace of mind?" She shakes her head. "You're kidding."

He sighs as he looks down.

"Oh my God. You're serious."

"I just don't want to​ lose you, Nyx." He looks back up at her. "I love you."

"That's not love." She argues. "You don't hold the person that you love back from furthering their life. If you loved me, you'd be happy for me. You'd support me, Tyler."

"Nyx!" He calls​ after her as she walks away from him.

She goes out onto the road away from the party and calls her mom. "Nycole?"

"Can you come and get me please?" She asks.

"What's going on?" Miranda asks.

"Tyler — he's... Mom, can you please just come and get me?" Nyx asks her.

"The college fight again?"

"He wants me to wait to go. Says it's because he loves me." She scoffs. "I'm starting to think he doesn't know what love is. Then again, maybe I don't either."

"You're young, honey." She says. "One day, you'll have an amazing husband, and he'll support you in all the ways that you want and in all the ways that you need. Maybe it'll be Tyler. Maybe it'll be someone else."

"Well, until that day comes, can you please get me away from this stupid party?"

"We'll be right there." Miranda tells her and then hangs up the phone.

"See?" Nyx looks at Dean. "I don't think it was ever going to be me and Tyler. We were too young, thought we knew everything​, didn't actually know anything."

"And you really think that we..."

"We're not perfect, Dean. But we're about a hundred times better than me and him." She tells him. "Tyler and I, we could never talk like this. We could never talk, not about anything important."

"And you're sure that you want this — us?"

"Dean—"

"I'm not asking because I think you have feelings for anyone else, or because I have any doubts about us." He says. "I'm asking because you're eighteen, and our lives are complicated. And I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy. I don't think I've ever been happier than when I see you with our babies. That look of...complete adoration when you look down at Everly. Or the way you laugh when Alex pulls our hair." She says, and he laughs. "You make me beyond happy."

He presses his lips to hers, and she smiles into the kiss. He starts kissing her cheek, and she giggles as he pulls her closer to him.

"Sorry, Romeo, but you smell like a bar. Go take a shower." She says as she pulls back.

"Come with me."

"Tempting." She smirks. "Raincheck."

"Alright." He nods, and she moves off of his lap. He gets up and goes into the bathroom.

Nyx lays down and looks at the ceiling, she starts thinking about the part of that night that she didn't show to Dean.

"I'm fine, Matt." Nyx tells him. "He'll sober up, and we'll talk tomorrow. He'll apologize, and all will be right in the world again."

"There's something seriously wrong with you two." He says, and she laughs.

"Yeah, well, he's Tyler. Annoying as he is, he's my Tyler." She says. "I'll call you later."

A raven-haired man with a black leather jacket suddenly appears in front of her as she's hanging up the phone. "Katherine."

"Um... No, I'm sorry. I'm Nycole." She tells him, and he looks confused.

"Oh. You— You just look..." He starts, and her eyebrows furrow. "I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone." He tells her. "I'm Damon."

"Mm." She nods. "And, uh... Damon. Can I ask why you're out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Why are you?" He counters, and she smirks.

"Touché."

"So, what are you doing out here?"

She sighs. "I, uh... I got into a fight with my boyfriend." She tells him.

"About what? May I ask." He holds​ up his hands, indicating that he doesn't mean to cross any lines.

"Life. The future." She shrugs. "He's worried because I'm graduating two years early. He thinks that we'll drift apart when I leave for college. I keep telling him he's wrong, but..."

"Is he?"

"How would I know?" She asks, shaking her head. "I'm sixteen, and I've never set foot outside​ of this town. I don't know what I want."

"Well, that's not true." He argues, and she cocks her head to the side. "You want what everybody wants."

"And what's that?" She asks, a smile on her face. "Hm? Tall, dark, and handsome mysterious stranger in the middle of the road who has​ all the answers?"

He chuckles. "Well, let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things." He tells her.

"Hm." She nods slowly. "So, tell me, Damon, what do I want?"

"You want a love that consumes you." He says as he steps closer to her. "You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger." He's looking down at her, standing much closer now than before.

"Interesting theory." She smirks. "What about you? What do you want?"

"Uh..."

"No, let me guess." She says quickly, and he looks amused. "You want a challenge — the best kind. The kind of love you have to work for, but is so worth it in the end."

He smiles as he looks at her. "I like you, Nycole." He says, and she smiles. "You're not like most girls I meet."

"Sounds like you've lived a boring life, Mr. I've-been-around-a-long-time."

"Far from it, you just seem...one of a kind."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She says, still smiling. "And now I'm interested in this non-boring life you've got."

"And maybe I'll tell you about it some day." He says. "But in the meantime..." He looks into her eyes. "I want you to get everything you're looking for. But right now I want you to forget that this happened. I can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Nycole." Damon disappears.

Nyx blinks as she looks around.

"Hey!" Elena calls as she walks over to her sister. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?" She asks, confused.

"I'm waiting for Mom and Dad. Tyler and I got into a fight, I just want to go home." Her sister tells her. "What are you doing out here? I thought you were with Matt."

"We got into a fight after you guys got off the phone." She sighs. "Sucky night, huh?"

"Tell me about it."

Nycole didn't even remember that encounter until she was in transition to become a vampire, when his compulsion wore off. And yet, somehow, she has this strange feeling like it has played a role in her life, leading her to where she is now.