CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The Weight of the World

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     THERE WASN'T MUCH FOR ZELDA TO DO IN A STRANGE TOWN SHE NEVER HEARD OF. All she could do was either mope around in the room she was staying in or just go for a walk while wishing for a bunch of things she knew she could never have. She felt like the epitome of a depressed teenager but she didn't know what to do about it. At least in therapy, she had someone to talk to about her nightmares but now she was surrounded by complete strangers. Her mind was jammed with a bunch of thoughts, most of them which weren't even important and were just there because.

     She thought about talking to Henry just so she didn't feel so alone but he was always playing a game on his phone so he wouldn't really hear a word she said. Things were still tense between her and Emma after her little outburst when Killian found her in the park after she disappeared from the diner and brought her back. She felt completely out of place and she had no idea what to do and she had nobody to talk to about it. The whole thing just made her want to rip her own hair out in fistfuls.

     She sighed in defeat as she grabbed her jacket and put her shoes on and went downstairs. She saw Henry and Mary Margaret by the door and the pregnant woman smiled when she saw Zelda at the bottom of the stairs.

     "Hey, Zelda. We were actually going to go get some lunch. Do you wanna come with us?" she asked and Zelda shook her head lightly.

     "Actually, I was just gonna take a walk for a while," she replied.

     "Alone?" Mary Margaret asked.

     "I'll be fine," Zelda said as she walked out the door and started heading anywhere away from that house.

     She sighed in relief now that she was able to be outside and away from everyone. She was starting to feel like she was suffocating in there and she just needed a moment to be by herself and not feel trapped, even though that was a constant feeling for her. She started to get to know the place better as she walked down the streets and saw many shops and stores. She looked through the windows and they all had some very nice things inside and it made her wish she had some money. Unfortunately after the situation with her parents, she didn't bring any with her. The only thing that was packed for her was extra clothes and hygiene products but she couldn't really complain about it.

     The more she thought about it, the more she wondered how Killian and Emma knew her and how Killian knew where she was and how to find her. She didn't even know why he was even looking for her to begin with. Did it have anything to do with her birth parents or adopted parents? She just ended up with more questions and less answers the more she thought about it but she couldn't help it. Who else knew who she was? Did she know them too or were they also strangers to her? To be quite honest, she wasn't very sure if she knew anybody anymore. She was so confused with everything that had happened in the last couple of hours that her head started to hurt from all of the thinking.

     Zelda slowed down when she saw a sign with a long title on it. Mr. Gold Pawnbroker & Antiquities Dealer was what the sign said. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to just take a look inside, Zelda thought to herself as she pulled the door open and walked inside. There were a lot of old things just sitting on the shelves and it wasn't like anything she had ever seen before.

     "Hi, Zelda," a gentle female voice said.

     Zelda turned around and saw a pale woman with brown hair and blue eyes standing behind the counter with a book in front of her and smiling.

     "Hi. You're the woman who was with Killian earlier, aren't you?" she asked.

     "Yeah. When we found you in the park," the woman replied while nodding her head. "I'm Belle."

     "Zelda, but I'm assuming you already knew that," Zelda said while looking at her feet.

     "You can look around some more if you want. I'm guessing you needed a break from everything that's been going on," Belle said and Zelda nodded.

    "You have no idea," she said.

     She wanted so badly to just unleash everything but she wasn't sure if Belle was someone to be trusted. She didn't want to make that same mistake just for it to turn out like what happened the last time she trusted people. On the other hand, Belle didn't think she was crazy when she mentioned flying monkeys earlier at the park and she seemed very nice but was that a good enough reason to trust her?

     "You know, if you ever want someone to talk to, you can just come here. I am a great listener and to be honest, I don't get a lot of visitors here so it does get kind of lonely," Belle said with a small shrug and Zelda tilted her head to the side.

     "How do I know you won't turn into a monkey with wings and attack me?" she asked skeptically.

     "I think if I wanted to attack you, I would've done it already," Belle replied.

     "Not necessarily. My adopted parents waited an entire year before revealing their true form and trying to kill me," Zelda said with her hands in her pockets.

     "I guess you make a fair point there," Belle said and laughed lightly. "But you have my word that I am one hundred percent human and I am not going to hurt you."

     Zelda looked straight into her blue eyes but she wasn't sure if she was really telling the truth or not. At this point, she didn't really have much of a choice but to take her word for it. She sighed as her shoulders dropped and her throat started to close up.

     "Everything is just a big mess and I don't know what to do," she said, trying to keep her voice steady so she wouldn't break down right there in the middle of the shop.

     "Do you want to talk about it? Just get everything off your chest so you can finally breathe again?" Belle asked.

     Zelda nodded while nervously shuffling on her feet. "I don't think I know this world as well as I thought I did. Apparently there's magic and horrifying creatures that you would think only existed in fairy tales. I'm in a strange town that doesn't exist on any of the maps I've ever seen and I don't know anybody here. The only person I kind of know is Killian since he's the one who found me in Boston. I don't even know how he found me or why he was even looking for me. Emma has her son and her friends, Killian has some people he knows and I have no one. Once again, I am completely alone," she said and quickly wiped her eyes when she felt them burning with the saltwater of her tears.

     Belle sighed sadly when she saw how much emotion Zelda was holding inside and how hard she was trying to keep herself from releasing any of it. "It's okay if you want to cry," she said and Zelda shook her head. She didn't want to cry in front of her but it was getting harder to hold it in. "I just think you should know that you are not alone."

     "Trust me, I'm alone. I have no friends and no family," Zelda replied.

     "You may feel like that, but there are people who care about you. Personally, I think Killian cares about you more than you realize. After all, he was the one who went all the way to Boston just to find you. And he was the one who came looking for you when you wandered off on your own. I don't think he would ever admit it, but he was really worried about you," Belle said with a gentle smile and Zelda scoffed.

     "I don't understand why he would even care about me. I barely know him and I think if I knew someone who had a hook hand, I would remember him," Zelda said and laughed humourlessly.

     "Sometimes we have memories of people, places or things that we don't want to remember so we bury them so deep in our minds that not even we could reach them," Belle said and Zelda bit the inside of her cheek.

     "Well, then I'm lost because I don't know anything," she said.

     "It's okay not to have the answers," Belle said reassuringly.

     "Not when you have a million questions and not a single answer to any of them," Zelda sighed.

     It turned out that Belle really was a great listener like she said she was. Zelda didn't realize how many thoughts she had kept to herself in the last twenty-four hours. She didn't even know she could have that much thoughts and emotions bottled up inside of her for just twenty-four hours. She didn't even make her feel like she was crazy when she told her about all the things that seemed impossible in the natural world and it felt like she could finally breathe after releasing everything that was weighing her down.

     "Did talking about it make you feel better?" Belle asked with a kind smile and Zelda nodded.

     "It actually helped a lot more than I expected it to," she answered.

     "If you want, I can take you back to Emma and the others. It's dark out and I don't feel comfortable letting you walk out there alone," Belle said and Zelda looked outside to see that she was right and that it was dark outside.

     "Thanks, Belle," she said while the brunette grabbed her coat.

     "Just wait here while I give Emma a call to let her know where you are," she said and Zelda nodded. She waited like she was told and then the both of them left the shop and Belle switched the sign from OPEN to CLOSED and locked the door. "I just got off the phone with Emma and told her I was going to be walking you home. They're at Mary Margaret and David's loft right now so that's where I'm taking you."

     "Okay," Zelda replied as they started walking down the streets.

     She had to admit that it was nice having somebody to talk to and someone who would listen to her. There was some small talk on the way to the loft but when they got there, Emma thanked Belle for bringing her back safely and Zelda sat down on the couch with her knees pulled closer to her chest. Mary Margaret was cooking something and Henry was just playing a game on his phone like he usually was. Zelda noticed a dark haired woman in classy and professional clothing with her hands clasped in front of her. She turned her attention back to the wall and everything that was said just went through one ear and then out the other. She noticed Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Killian and the dark haired woman walking out of the apartment and Zelda sighed in boredom.

     "So, what game are you playing?" she asked while looking at Henry who was still looking at the screen of his phone.

     "Mortal Kombat," he replied.

     "Mind if I give it a try?" Zelda asked and Henry looked at her.

     "Sure," he said as he gave her the phone.

     He explained to her how the game worked and how to win. When the adults walked back into the loft, they saw the young ones sitting next to each other and looking at the same phone screen. Zelda was getting more excited and Henry was cheering her on as she played the game on his phone.

     "You almost forget she's a hundred and ninety-four years old," David whispered so the kids on the couch wouldn't hear.

     "Her age is complicated. In truth, that's how old she really is but right now she thinks she's seventeen," Killian said.

     "At least until we can get her to remember," Mary Margaret said.

     "But what if remembering just causes her even more pain and suffering? Nothing has changed when we brought her back from Neverland and as great as it was for Regina to give her new memories with a new life, she's right back where she started," Emma sighed. "Lost and confused."

     "If you ask me, this is the happiest I've ever seen her since we met her," Killian said.

     "Maybe she was happy in Boston but I guess we'll never know," the dark haired woman said.

     Zelda played a few more rounds of Mortal Kombat on Henry's phone before handing it back to him so he could play. Emma watched and she couldn't help but feel sorry for Zelda. Memories could be very painful, especially Zelda's. Nineteenth century England, Neverland and now Boston. Was she ever going to catch a break? Maybe it would be best if she didn't remember but then she would never know where she came from. And if she didn't know where she came from, then she would never know where she was going. Without her past, she would have no future. It wouldn't exactly be fair to hide the truth from her either.

     "Swan, I need to talk to you for a minute," Killian said and both him and the blonde woman walked out of the loft. "I can't help but feel like it's my fault she's suffering like this. She didn't know her parents were flying monkeys until I showed up looking for her and she asked them what was going on. Now she's here and she doesn't understand what's happening and it's my fault because I decided to find her and bring her back to Storybrooke."

     "I'm sure you brought her here for a reason," Emma said and Killian sighed.

     "Back on the Jolly Roger when we were leaving Neverland, she was different. It was like she wasn't human and she could've killed that boy. Her eyes turned orange and it was like she was completely gone for a moment," he said quietly.

     "If that's true, then we need to find out what she could be. But first we need to find that witch and get everybody's memories back, including Zelda's," Emma said with her arms crossed.

     "What about Belle? Could we ask her to do some reading?" Killian asked and Emma shrugged her shoulders.

     "We could try, but you might need more than just orange eyes to figure out what's going on with her. And right now, she doesn't even know there's a wicked witch under our noses," she said.

     "Even before her memories were replaced, she didn't know anything about her having orange eyes," Killian replied.

     Whatever Zelda was, it was a mystery that needed to be solved.