CHAPTER ONE
A Prisoner to Life
*tw - verbal abuse, self harm, allusion to physical abuse, brief suicidal thoughts

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     IT WAS HARD TO TELL WHICH SCENARIO WAS WORSE. Whether it was living in her own personal hell with nothing but isolation or dying and simply becoming nothing. She just didn't know which one would be worse than the other. She already knew what the first one was like since she already did live a life that was nothing but isolation and she still had yet to know what the second scenario was like. She was sure that no one would miss her if she were to end it all herself. She had no friends, her mother often passed out from having too much to drink and her father took off before she even turned a year old. She often wondered where he was and wished that he would come back for her but for everyday where that hope didn't come true, it slowly dissolved until it became nothing. Over the past sixteen years of her life, it became nothing but hopes and dreams that never came true, leaving her with nothing to look forward to and nothing to live for.

     When she looked outside the window, she saw kids of all ages playing in the streets and she wished that she could join them but knew that her mother would never allow it. She would rather keep her inside the walls of their home than let her daughter outside where there were endless possibilities for something to go wrong. Zelda was sure that her mother just didn't want to risk being held responsible if something were to happen so the easiest solution was to keep her inside where there were no risks.

     Although she was not able to play outside with the other kids in her neighborhood, she still had ways to entertain herself whether that was playing dominos, a game of solitaire with a deck of cards or even just listening to music on the radio. Living in a small village in England had its perks. There were no loud noises, it was calm and there was peace but it had its downsides as well, one of them being that everybody knew everybody so there wasn't one thing that happened and didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the people. That meant that everyone knew her family and that Zelda wasn't allowed out of her house unless it was for her chores.

     "Turn that bloody noise down!"

     Zelda turned her head so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash and she noticed her mother sitting by the window with a bottle of wine in her hand.

     "I'm sorry," she said, turning down the radio until it was near complete silence. "Why can't I go outside and do stuff with other kids my age?"

     "Are you mad?! If you go out there and something happens, they'll hold me responsible. I can't see why anyone would care anyway since you're not even mine to begin with," the older woman said before pouring the red wine into a glass and taking a large sip while she lazily held the bottle in her other hand.

     Zelda wasn't an idiot. She had always known that she looked very different from her parents. While they had round green eyes, light brown locks and porcelain skin, her eyes were dark brown monolids, her hair was sleek and black and her skin had more of a fair ivory tone to it. She knew that the woman who raised her was not her birth mother and that the man who walked out on them wasn't her real father. Unfortunately, she couldn't do much to find out who her biological parents were so all she could do was settle for the life she had with the woman who would rather drink herself into oblivion than let the girl she agreed to raise as her own grow up with a normal childhood like every other child. She couldn't exactly pinpoint why her parents didn't keep her when they had her and she wondered if things would've been better if they did.

     "If you drink too much, you'll wake up tomorrow with another headache," Zelda said and she stood up and picked up an empty bottle of liquor that the woman already consumed earlier in the day.

     "No amount of alcohol can cause a worse headache than someone like yourself, child," she snarled and the young teen looked down at the floor.

     She noticed the sun setting and grabbed a small pack of matches from the top desk draw and struck one against the rough side of the little box she held in her hand. She carefully lit the lamp on top of the surface of the desk and her eyes caught the flame. That small flame that burned on the top of a tiny stick but could still bring so much light to a room full of darkness was like a reminder of hope. No matter how dark it was, the flame continued to burn and light the way but to Zelda, there was no hope for her. She brought the match closer to her face and pursed her lips as she exhaled sharply. The amount of air that flew from her mouth was enough to put out the tiny flame that was already starting to burn out the longer she stared at it.

     She saw her mother who wasn't really her mother slowly starting to pass out in the chair she was sitting in and her shoulders dropped. She was foolish to think that the woman would change her ways for her and she was even more foolish to hope that the man who walked out on them would come back for a child that he didn't even father in the first place. But she also wondered that maybe if he was still there, she wouldn't be spending her days drinking alcohol and blaming Zelda for everything that went wrong in the last sixteen years.

     "You should probably lie down," she suggested timidly with her hands folded in front of her as she stood beside her mother's chair.

     "Of all the children we could've gotten, we got stuck with you. You couldn't look more like us and yet my husband still thought it wouldn't be so bad if we gave it a try," she mumbled with her words slurred together that Zelda almost couldn't understand her.

     "Then why did he leave?" she asked.

     "Because he started to realize what a waste of time you were and left so now I'm stuck here with you, you pathetic child," the woman spat and Zelda sighed.

     She left the older woman alone and pulled out her deck of cards that she played with silently to avoid making any small noises that could anger the woman who was just a few feet away. She pulled out another match and scratched it along the side so she could light the next lantern in the house. She found herself entranced by the tiny flame once again and sighed softly so she wouldn't accidently blow out the flame. The golden light that radiated heat represented the tiny amount of hope she had left of ever having a better life than what she had now. The hope that the woman who was supposed to be her mother would stop drinking, that the man who was supposed to be her father would come back and change her mother's ways but most of all, hope that her biological parents would realize that they made a mistake and come looking for her to take her away from that awful place she lived in. That hope she had was so small and so easy to blow out at this point, just like the little flame on the match she held between her fingers.

     It was like the flame was calling out to her and her hand moved towards the little fire in her other hand. She knew that if she kept going, she would burn herself and it would hurt but she also knew that it couldn't be any worse than what her mother did over the years. The name calling and throwing empty bottles and glasses at her so hard they shattered on impact and left bruises that would last for days. Her hand was held over the match and she could feel the heat getting closer to her skin. She wanted to pull away but at the same time she didn't want to. And by the time she wanted to change her mind and stop, it was already too late to do so. The flame burned the skin on her hand and when she pulled it away, a deep red mark was already forming along the side of her hand. The mark still stung after she blew out the match and sat down on the bed that was pushed against the wall. That was where she spent the rest of the night, inside a room where she was hoping to sleep the pain away.

     Three hours later and Zelda was still wide awake looking at the burn mark she purposely inflicted upon herself. The whole time she was awake, she was wishing for a solution to all her problems. If she was able to just leave, she would try to find a place far away from her mother and start a new life where she didn't have to dread the next morning to come.

     The wind howled in the night and the windows rattled and grabbed Zelda's attention. She sat up and looked towards the closed curtains that slowly started to open on their own. Her spine stiffened and she sat paralyzed as the windows opened as well and a shadow appeared inside the room. Her chest heaved heavily and she tried to keep her breathing steady as she stared into the shadow's yellow eyes that burned right into her soul.

     "Take my hand," the Shadow said, its voice distorted and sending chills down Zelda's spine. She couldn't find the words to say so she shook her head. "I can take you far away from here and help you start again."

     "Go away," Zelda breathed as she closed her eyes tightly.

     When she opened them again, the windows were closed and the curtains were blocking out the light of the rising sun. She pulled the blanket off her body and her bare feet touched the wooden floor as she stood up. She looked around the room and everything looked the same from the night before. What confused her was that she was sure she didn't sleep a wink for three consecutive hours before a shadow in the shape of a boy appeared at her window with a promise to take her away from her home. Maybe she wished so much to get away that the chance started to appear in her dreams yet she still denied it and her chance at freedom. If she had just accepted the Shadow's offer, even if it was just a dream she had, maybe she wouldn't be dreading the day ahead of her.

     Once she was dressed, she went into the den where her mother still sat in the same position from the night before and started cleaning up the empty glasses and bottles. The woman stirred in her slumber and opened her eyes just the tiniest bit but still enough to see Zelda cleaning up her mess.

     "At least you're useful in one way," she scoffed as she slowly stood up and groaned at the pounding from the inside of her temples.

     "Headache?" Zelda asked as she carried the used glasses to the kitchen and tossed the empty wine bottle into the garbage bin.

     "You don't get much brighter, do you?" her mother asked and nodded towards the sink full of dirty dishes and a garbage bin full of garbage. "Clean all of that up."

     Once the brunette woman was gone, Zelda's shoulders slumped as she tied the garbage bag in the bin and carried it outside of the house. It was still early so none of the children were outside playing with each other yet but there were a few who got up to do their chores just like Zelda did. To broaden her daily routine, it was simply to take care of her mother and make sure she didn't drink herself to death. If someone wanted to go into specifics, her routine was cleaning up the mess of empty bottles of alcohol and used glasses, dusting and sweeping the floors and other surfaces, doing the laundry and also cooking meals everyday for her mother. She always wondered when her pathetic excuse of a life would ever end and if anyone in town would even notice if she suddenly disappeared. The only reason her mother would care would be because Zelda was the one who kept the house in order while she continued to be a deadbeat mother who did nothing to take care of the child, the child was taking care of her and none of it was right but Zelda knew that no one on the outside would even notice, let alone care.

     Zelda even wondered about running away to a new village where nobody knew her so she could start afresh. She could just take out the garbage and use that time as a window to slip out before her mother noticed that she was gone for too long. The only thing that kept her from actually going through with her plan was that she would have nowhere else to go once she left. People weren't so welcoming to people of her kind and only bothered to use them as service people to do all their chores for them so they could do whatever they wanted.

     If the Shadow was able to take her somewhere far away from the life she was already living, then what was stopping her from accepting? The most obvious answer would be because it was only a dream but even so, going somewhere else inside a dream would be a relief for her. Another reason would be because she would have to eventually go back to her reality. At this point, there didn't seem to be any escape for Zelda unless it was in a dream and she was already convinced that it was a one-time thing. After all, how many people could say that they had the exact dream back to back? For sure, Zelda wasn't one of them.

     Once she was finished sweeping the floors, she noticed that her mother was nowhere to be found inside the house. Her first assumption was that she went out to buy more wine but she couldn't care less, as long as she was somewhere else away from her. She also knew that her chores still needed to be finished before that woman returned and the house still needed to be kept in order.

     By the time her mother arrived home, Zelda was folding the last bit of laundry and putting them away. Not a word was spoken between the two women as the sound of wine bottles clinking against each other echoed in the kitchen.

     "I assume all your chores are finished," the older woman said.

     "Yes, ma'am," Zelda replied calmly.

     "And you finished everything?"

     "Yes, ma'am."

     Her mother scoffed as she grabbed an empty glass from the cupboard and one of the bottles of alcohol she just returned home with and went into the den. Zelda sighed as she went into her room and sat on the bed. She looked outside the window and saw the sun slowly setting below the horizon and reminding her that another day had gone by. Another day where she put up with the horrid woman in the next room and another day where she just didn't end it all and get it over with.

     She turned on the radio but kept it quiet enough so her mother wouldn't hear a thing. Even though she knew she was not really her mother, she was still the only mother she ever knew her whole life. While other children complained about how they wished their parents would let them stay awake and play for ten minutes longer, Zelda wished that her birth mother didn't give her up and that the woman who was supposed to be her mother figure wouldn't treat her as horribly as she did. How could she even sleep at night while knowing that she ever treated her in such a way? How was it that the woman had absolutely no regrets for her harsh words and even harsher actions? Those were a few questions that Zelda never bothered to ask but she already had the answers for them. She just didn't love her and only kept her around so she could slave away at her command. It was as simple as that.

     Maybe if Zelda did accept the Shadow's offer to take her some place far away where she could start again with no worries, then maybe she could be free of the life she had in a small town in England. So when she changed into her nightgown and crawled under the blanket, she watched the curtains and waited for them to move the way they did the night before. She watched and waited for hours and her eyelids started to get heavy from the fatigue. Just as she closed her eyes for a brief moment, she heard the wind whistling through the night and she could see the curtains being blown open. The windows opened and she sat up as the Shadow appeared with the same glowing yellow eyes that could see right through her.

     "Take my hand," the Shadow said as it offered its hand, or more likely a figure of its hand.

     "You can take me somewhere far away from here?" she asked as she got out of her bed and headed towards the window.

     "A place far, far away. A place where your 'mother' will never be able to follow you and hurt you," the Shadow said.

     Zelda lifted her hand but didn't place it into the Shadow's hand. Why was she hesitating? What was stopping her from going to Neverland? If she went, it would mean that her mother would never be able to hurt her with her cruel words or throw wine glasses and bottles at her out of anger. It would mean that she would be free from the shackles that kept her inside the house where she was only allowed to leave to take out the garbage and do the laundry. She could finally be free.

     "Where are we going?" she questioned curiously.

     "A place called Neverland."

     Zelda placed her hand in the Shadow's hand and surprisingly, it didn't slip right through like she thought it would. The Shadow lifted her off the floor and her heart raced when her feet could no longer touch the wood she was so used to walking on. She was carried out of the window and she could feel the wind blowing her hair out of her face as they flew through the sky above the town. She looked behind her and the window of her bedroom became smaller and smaller the further away she went and she could feel the weight being slowly released. The Shadow carried her through other towns and cities and she marvelled at the lights below her. She had never seen anything like it before and it felt like she was looking at a sky full of twinkling stars, only it was below her rather than above her. Once she reached Neverland where she would have no worries about what her mother could possibly do to her, Zelda would no longer be a prisoner to life.