Your days back home were poisoned by sorrow. Loki's confession made your world crash down into tiny pieces you couldn't put together again. In your cell, you believed the whole time that he was waiting for you. The only thing you had all that time was Loki. And now you felt like you had nothing left in this world. Your home was by his side, and now the tower was just a big, empty building where you couldn't find your peace.

Of course, you still loved him, but every time you looked at him, a picture of him making out with some slutty princess appeared in your head, and it made your blood boil. You couldn't talk to him or even stay near him, but at the same time, you were longing to hug him, to kiss him, to wake up in his arms. To simply forget about everything he said. You wanted to forgive him so badly, but you couldn't. After three months of mental and emotional torture, you were not ready for another one.

It has been three days since your return and you didn't talk to him above the needed minimum. If he entered a room, you simply walked away. His presence was just a hurtful reminder of his betrayal and your broken heart. Sometimes you were wondering if he was feeling this hollow and broken too. Or what he went through without you. The first day when you returned to your room, as far as you could remember, everything was where you left it. Except for your bed. In the morning you always made your bed, but now it was messy and crumpled. At first, you didn't realise it, but when you laid down you felt Loki's scent all over the bedsheets and found some long, jet black hairs on the pillow. So, he was missing you as much as you missed him. But then why did he sleep with another woman? You wanted to understand him, but at first, you needed to heal your own wounds which seemed to be too deep.

At night you were alone in your room, laying sleepless in your bed. You barely slept in the last three days, because you were too afraid of having nightmares. During the days, when you were among your friends, everything was fine. But at nights, your horrible nightmares were haunting you. It was the worst part of being alone. Normally you would just walk up to Loki's room and sleep with him, but now it wasn't an option.

Only one wall separated you from him in the room next door, yet he seemed to be so far and away. Asking Steve to stay with you wasn't an option either, because you didn't want it to seem like you were only trying to make Loki jealous. The two of them fighting was the last thing you needed. When finally your eyelids became heavy, and you couldn't fight it anymore, you fell asleep. In your dream, you were again on the battlefield. You saw the flames rising up to the sky and the thousands of dead bodies heard the desperate screams of your many victims. Then you were again in the cold darkness of your cell, you heard the voices in your head, and every inch of you was suffering. Then you saw them. Loki and a girl you didn't know. You woke up crying, covered in cold sweat and with your heart racing like a maniac.

"(Y/n), are you okay?" you heard a voice from the door. In the dark, you recognised Loki's slim form sliding into your room. "I heard you screaming." You couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded worried.

"I just had a nightmare. Sorry for waking you," you sobbed, and before you could say anything else, he climbed next to you in the bed and wrapped his arms protectively around you. At first, you wanted to protest and push him away, but it just felt too good. As you snuggled up to him, you felt the warmth coming from his body, and his strong arms around you. You felt safe.

"Shh, don't cry, I'm here. I won't let anything bad happen to you." He placed a gentle, small kiss on your forehead, and wiped away the tears from your cheeks with his thumb...

*

In the morning as you woke up, you rubbed your eyes and looked around. You were alone in the bed. You thought back on last night, the nightmares, and Loki coming over to chase those dreams away from you. At first, you believed that it was a dream too, but then you saw his slippers forgotten by the side of the bed. So he really was with you and left before you woke up. Your face fell, as this realisation hit you. You were disappointed because deep inside you wanted him to stay. Maybe waking up together would have been a good chance to talk things through and make things right again, but he clearly didn't want that. He gave up on trying and left you alone again.

You put on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with your favourite band's logo on it. As you were heading to the kitchen to get some breakfast, you realised something was missing. Usually, the building was full of life, but now the whole tower was just too calm and quiet, and the corridors were empty. Soon you found out, everyone was out on missions for the day, except for Loki who was still recovering like you, and Thor who wanted to keep an eye on both of you.

In your opinion, it was totally unnecessary, but at least you weren't completely alone with Loki. For breakfast, you drank a glass of fresh orange juice and made yourself a sandwich. Originally you planned on eating bacon and eggs, but your stomach felt too small, and you didn't really have an appetite. The thought of last night was eating you from inside, and you wanted to make it finally go. After your small meal, you headed to the library because you were sure the trickster god would be there. Your intention was to finally talk to him, and one way or another put an end to this drama between you.

As you reached the library, you stopped outside the door. You placed your hand on the door-handle, but you didn't push it down. Something was stopping you from going in there. If he really had regretted what he did, he should have already apologised or tried to make it up to you. But he was avoiding you just as you did avoid him. Also, he sneaked out of your room in the morning before you woke up. He clearly didn't want anything from you anymore. Things have come to an end between you, it just needed to be said out loud...

Instead of stepping in, you turned around as you felt tears filling your eyes, and walked to the elevator. You pushed the button to the rooftop. You needed some fresh air to clear out your head, because you didn't come to terms with the thought of breaking up yet, and you had no idea what to do. You didn't want to let go of Loki, but you felt like he already drifted too far away, out of your reach. As you stepped out of the elevator, you spotted Thor working out in the rooftop balcony, so you quickly wiped your tears away. As he noticed your presence, his face lit up with a huge smile, and walked up to you:

"Lady (y/n)! How are you feeling? Do you need anything, or can I help you?" He was sweet and caring like always. You were a bit afraid of how he would behave to you after what you've done to his brother, but he was like nothing changed at all, and you were really grateful for this.

"I'm fine, thanks. I just came up here for the morning view." You lied to him, but he saw right through you. He knew you too well, and he saw that something was bothering you.

"Is it still my brother's mistake that makes you feel down?" he turned to you with sorrow in his always smiling and happy eyes. You took a deep breath and returned his look. You kept all your feelings for yourself in the last three days, and finally, it was good to talk to someone. And Thor was the best partner for this because he knew both sides of the story. You were pretty curious about his opinion on all this.

"Yes. I feel so humiliated and angry. How could he do this to me in front of everyone? I mean... does the team know about this too, right?"

"Yes, after the incident I brought him back from Asgard, and of course everyone was curious why. When Steve heard it, he almost knocked Loki out. He was furious, and I could tell the others were angry too, even if they didn't say a word. I'm sorry, we didn't mean to make gossip out of it." He tried to apologise, but there was no need for it. You weren't angry at him at all. He did nothing wrong.

"Never mind... I'm happy that all of you gave me a warm welcome home, but I always feel their eyes on me, I feel their pity. And I don't need this. I'm home, and I'm fine. Kind of..."

"And what about my brother? Do you hate him now?"

"No. I still do love him, but every time I think about him an that little..." as you spoke your palms started to smoulder and glow with fire. "You see? I just get so furious, and I lose my head. I swear to god if I ever meet that bitch I'll make her pay for her fun night." Your eyes lit up with yellow lights. You took a deep breath and shook your head. The fire slowly disappeared, as your sudden rage did too.

"I think Loki made her learn the lesson. He threw her out naked on the corridor and locked his door. She will never even approach any of you. And I think if he could go back in time, he'd definitely punch himself in the face for this affair." Thor leaned against the barrier and gazed into the distance like he was trying to find Asgard somewhere on the horizon.

"What do you mean?" you turned your head to him. You never actually asked what happened, and it was time to find out. "Uhm... would you mind telling me the whole thing from the beginning? I'm sick of even the thought of it, but I need to know," you begged him.

"Well, as for the beginning, I think in some ways my brother wasn't himself. It was nothing compared to what happened to you of course, but I think he went through his own kind of hell. He lost himself without you. He felt responsible for what happened, and he wanted to find a solution so badly, but he couldn't. He was helpless, and it pushed him deep down into the valley. My brother got depressed, and he found his way to the bottom of the bottle too often. Basically every day." Thor's words left you shocked and speechless. All this time you were so selfish, you only thought about yourself. Poor Loki was suffering just as much without you, as you did without him, and you didn't even ask him about how he was.

"Oh my... I feel so guilty right now. I mean this is still no excuse for what he did and I haven't forgiven, but I had no idea how bad it was for him. I was so occupied with myself, I didn't see how he needed me to be there for him. This just makes everything more complicated. I don't know what to do," you said staring down at your forearm. The Thunder God noticed it too, he was examining the small, blue burn mark on your arm too with a thoughtful look on his face.

"In my opinion, you two should finally force yourselves to talk. You both have your own scars and pain, but the Norns made you for each other. This sign on you is the evidence. Don't give up on him, he wouldn't survive it. Nor would you."

"I don't know. We definitely should talk, but I'm not sure if this time we can come out of this with a happy ending. I was away for too long, and too many things happened. I'm not sure if we can still make things right," you stared into the distance above the city.

"You have to talk. If you agree on parting ways, I'll respect it, but you need to talk. None of you can just bottle up all these feelings, and keep it from each other. If you love him, you'll find a way back to him."

***
Okay, so this one turned out to be a bit long, and I don't really know how I feel about this chapter... Anyway, the next one will be the FINAL CHAPTER, where you'll finally find out what happens to them. Stay tuned!
I hope you liked it so far, feel free to tell me your opinions in the comments, it always makes me happy! <3 :)