"Dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams," I whisper as I run my finger across the spines of the books in the science section.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm searching in the right section and while I would normally ask the librarian, Mrs. Ossxan was yelling at some other students so I decided it was best to leave her be.

As I search for the book, or any book for that matter, on dreams and their meanings I think back to the conversation with Mrs. Fallen. Past lives. There's just no way they could be real. The thought of someone having lived before and then coming back to life again. It's ridiculous. I simply can't be true. . . Can it?

It shocks me that a part of me says yes, a past life could be possible and my dreams are revealing what happened in mine. A bigger part of me says no, no that can't be possible especially since the people in my dream had the ability to manipulate the elements of fire and ice. People don't possess magical powers like that. What I'm seeing in my sleep can't possibly be a past life, it just can't be.

My hand stops as my eyes land on the type of book I'm looking for. I pull it off the shelf and read the cover:

The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud.

"If you want to learn about dreams, you might as well learn from the master of psychology," I whisper.

I don't look up at Mrs. Ossxan as she checks out my book nor do I try to communicate with her other than telling her any information she needs to know like my library passcode. As soon as she hands me the book I rush out of the library and into the mostly quiet hallway.

As I walk toward the entrance I keep my eyes glued to the ground. This quickly turns into a bad idea because as I turn the corner I collide with a tall figure and we both fall to the floor. I bite my lip to keep my screams of pain locked inside, not wanting to expose them. The figure who collided with me lets out groans of pain mixed with a few curse words.

"What the hell is your—" he starts but his voice catches in his throat and his voice changes to one of concern when our eyes meet, "Oh my God, Vega. I'm so sorry!"

As I look into Toby's eyes I shiver as that coldness shoots through me once again. It says within me for a few seconds before I eventually feel it get weaker and weaker until it finally disappears.

Toby's hand reaches out and touches my arm. The contact feels like a hot iron is being pressed against my flesh and I have to pull away.

"I should go," I mumble as I push myself into a sitting position so that I can gather the few books that had fallen out of my bag including the book of dreams. I gather them back into my bag and zip it up before I get up. My body aches as I lift myself off the cold ground. Especially my butt which took the most of the fall.

"Are you all right?" Toby asks as he gets up and brushes some dirt off of his pants.

I shrug. "I've been worse." I sling my bag back over my shoulder and start to turn around to walk away. But before I can even get five steps away his hand grabs my arm and once again the cold shoots up my body. This time it is so bad it makes me jump back from his grasp.

"What do you want?" I snap.

His gaze briefly drops to the ground and he is furiously rubbing his palms with his thumb. He looks. . .  nervous. Eventually, after I don't know how long he looks back up at me and speaks, "Listen, Vega, I am sorry for what I did. I actually can't even say sorry enough. I know the simple word sorry won't make up for what I did, but for now, it is all I can do."

Looking down at my shoes I think about how sorry he looked. It had been so many days since I told him I needed space and he had given me that space. But looking back up at him and into his eyes I realize that deep down I hadn't fully forgiven him. I haven't even fully forgiven Seth so it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to forgive Toby.

"Thank you for the apology. But I can't fully forgive you just yet."

His face which was filled with hope was quickly dampened by my answer. However, a smirk quickly came upon his lips. "How about I show you how sorry I am?"

I chuckle and cross my arms over my chest. "What could you possibly do that would make me forgive you?"

He leans in a little closer to me, his warm breath tickling my face. "I am going to take you out on a date. And I am going to make it the best damn date you will ever go on."

I lean back and shake my head. "You really think I would agree to go on a date with you?"

He shrugs. "Okay, so don't call it a date. Just consider it an... apology hang out."

I shake my head again and laugh. "You're something else." I turn around and start to walk toward the door.

"Is that a no!" he calls out to me.

I stop in my tracks and consider my options. I could reject him and keep walking away. Or, I could go and hear him out. It's not like Seth has ever offered to explain himself.

I turn back toward him, "I'll go with you on this 'hang out'."

With a smile on his face, he walk over to me and hands me a piece of paper which had his number written on it.

I chuckle as I twist the piece of paper between my fingers. "Do you always carry your number ready in your pocket?"

He smiles. "No, I just had it there just in case you said yes."

Rolling my eyes I shove the piece of paper into my pocket and then continue my journey back home, this time without stopping.

As soon as I got home I texted Toby who was very happy that I actually texted him. We arranged to meet later tonight at the corner store where Seth picked me up when I went to the party.

I quickly did my homework so that I had enough time to get ready for the hang-out. I took a fairly long shower and shaved my legs and under my arms before I ran back to my room to pick the perfect outfit.

Toby's text said it would be casual but for some reason, I'm still having trouble picking something to wear.

"Mom, can you come up here please!" I yell.

Her footsteps echo as she climbs up the stairs. A few seconds later my door creaks as she pushes it open. "What's the matter? Did something happen?" she asks as she looks at the towel that is currently wrapped around my body and the large pile of clothes on my bed.

"Close the door."

Without question, she shut the door.

"What's the matter?" she asks again.

"Okay, so I have a date-type thing later tonight and I need some help picking an outfit."

She raises her eyebrows in confusion. "A date-type thing. What on Earth is that?"

"It's. . . it's complicated."

She nods as she scans over the large pile of clothes. It takes her only a minute to pull out a perfect outfit: light blue jeans that fit snugly around my legs, a loose and flowy white long-sleeved shirt, and a denim jacket. She helps me straighten my hair and I decide to put on a light layer of lip gloss on my lips as well as a cute, silver necklace and matching bracelet.

"Look at you," my mom says with a smile as she gazes at my finished look.

With a blush radiating on my cheeks, I pick up my phone which had beeped a few minutes ago when I was looking for my bracelet.

Toby: I'm here.

I quickly type back a response and send it.

Me: On my way.

"Thanks, Mom." I lightly kiss her cheek and then ran down to the corner store where as promised Toby was waiting.

He looks fancy dressed in dark blue jeans, a leather jacket, and what looks like his best sneakers. In some way we almost seem to match only I was the light and he was the dark.

"Wow, you look incredible," he says with a smile as his eyes trail up and down my body.

Heat rushes to my cheeks and I quickly look away. I felt the same way as when Seth called me gorgeous, only that feeling was stronger. What, no. I can't think about Seth right now.

"Should we get going?" I suggest before another thought about Seth has the opportunity to pop into my mind.

"Yeah."

Like a gentleman, he opens the car door for me and closes it once I was inside the car. He drives me to a family-style restaurant called Astro Family Restaurant. The atmosphere is perfect for our hang-out thing. We get booth seats and waste no time ordering chocolate milkshakes and burgers.

"So, what's the interest in dreams all about?" he suddenly asks me.

I quickly finish chewing the onion ring and swallowed it. "It just sounded interesting, so I thought I'd see what it's all about."

"Well, I think it's cool," he says as he leans back in his side of the booth.

We easily spent the next two hours talking about all kinds of things: movies,  books, music, hobbies, all the basic things you could ask about to get to know a person. As we leave and start walking back to the car I feel convinced that Toby is making some big changes to his behaviour.

"Thank you for taking me out. It was fun."

"It's my pleasure."

We stand outside the car in silence for about a minute before, out of nowhere, he grabs me by my waist and forces his lips against mine. Despite how good of a kisser he is I don't want to continue, so I put my hands on his chest and push him away with such force that his back hits the car. 

"What the fuck, Vega!" he yells at me. His warm and inviting expression has changed to one of flaming hot anger in the snap of a finger.

"I'm sorry, okay, I just wasn't ready for that."

His head shakes from left to right as he laughs.

"What?" I snap.

"I just think it's funny how you won't kiss me but you've been fucking Seth."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I hiss.

"Oh don't play stupid. I've seen the way you guys are with each other recently. And when you let him hold your hand like that I mean clearly something is happening between the two of you."

I scoff and shake my head. "We are just. . . friends I guess."

"That is such a weak excuse, Vega."

"It's the truth! Why do you have to be such a jerk, Toby!"

"I don't believe you for a second." He stays silent for a few moments before looking back at me with a look in his eyes that honestly makes me afraid. "Now if he can get some action between those legs then I think I should be allowed to as well."

Before I can say another word he shoves me against his car and starts to kiss me again. He forces his tongue into my mouth, and I take that as an opportunity to bite.

"Fuck!" he yells as he pulls back.

I try to duck away from him, but he grabs my waist from behind and pulls me back. As he was about to kiss me again a hand grabs his shoulder and spins him around and the loud bang of a fist hitting Toby's face echoes through the air. Toby falls to the floor and I look at Seth who looks so angry that he's about to burst into flames at any moment.

"Fuck off, Toby," Seth growls at him.

Glaring daggers at both of us, Toby pushes himself off the floor, gets into his car and speeds off. 

 "Thank you."

"You shouldn't have to be treated that way," he mutters with his hands tucked in his pockets.

The shock of what had just happened wore off and the tears began to flow out.
I cover my face with my hands as the sobs just keep coming and coming. A pair of warm hands gently pull me against a solid chest and I quickly wrap my arms around him.

"You will be okay," he whispers over and over again in my ear as he holds me while I continue to cry.

When I finish crying I use the inside of my jacket sleeve to wipe away my remaining tears. "Thank you," I tell him with a smile on my face.

"Come on, let me take you home."

We get into his car and start the slow drive back to my house.

I scoff. "To think I was actually having a good time on that. . . date thing."

"If you don't mind me asking, why were you on a date with Toby?" Seth asks.

Looking over at him I explain the whole story of how Toby said he wanted me to forgive him for what he did.

"That's an odd way to try and convince someone to forgive you."

"Tell me about it," I laugh. "Do you wanna know what really sucks though."

"What?"

"That was sort of my first real date."

He looks at me confused, "I thought I took you on your first day?"

"Taking me to a party just to get me to sleep with you does not count as a date."

"Yeah, I suppose so." We sat in silence for a few minutes. "I'm sorry your first real date went so sideways."

"You don't have to apologize. It's fine I guess, I should have seen through his nice guy act."

He shakes his head. "No, it's not your fault he's a douche. And I certainly won't let that be your first real date." He shifts his gears and does a U-turn.

"Wait, where are you taking me?"

"You'll see," he says with a smirk.

I quietly watch as Seth drives down the quiet streets. Eventually, he pulls up at a park of all places.

"What are we doing here?" I ask.

"You'll see." He climbs out of the side of the car. He's about to close the door but when he sees that I haven't moved he looks at me and smiles.

"Don't look at me like that I've watched way too many serial killer documentaries. And when a guy takes you to the park unexpectedly and at night it never means anything good!"

"I'm not going to kill you. Now come on." He reaches over into a compartment and takes out a packet of what looks like chocolate bars and sweets.

Still unsure of what is going on I climb out of the car and watch as he takes a blanket out of the backseat and lays it down on the grass. He sets out the sweets and motions for me to sit down next to him. I sit down on the blanket. His hand slightly shakes as he hands me one of the chocolate bars.

"If you want you can consider this you're official first date. I know it's not a fancy dinner—"

"It's perfect," I interrupt. "And by that I mean it's better than trying to kill me," I laugh as I take the chocolate bar.

"I suppose anything would be better than that."

We sit in silence for a short while and eat quite a bit of the chocolate bars and sweets.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," I say after I finish eating my third chocolate bar.

"You're an amazing person Vega and you didn't deserve what that. . .  bastard did." Anger flashes in his eyes at the mention of Toby but it quickly goes away.

"Well, luckily for me, I had a knight in shining armour."

He scoffs. "I have far too little honour in my life to be a knight. What I did to you is literally a case in point."

I nod. "Yeah, I'll admit you have a few flaws but who doesn't."

"That's a hard thing to sell after you've been escorted home in a police car after getting involved in a bar fight. Or when your mom has to come to school nearly every day because you can't go for one hour without getting into a fight. Yes, I do have flaws, but my mother will never let me live them down. Honestly, that's what I deserve."

As he spoke of his pain a new part of me opened to him. For the first time since the party, I feel no hatred towards him.

"If you don't mind me asking. Why do you get into so many fights?"

He sighs and shifts his gaze to the blanket.

"It's just. . . ever since my dad died. . . it's. . . it's like something broke in me. He was always my person. I got along with him better than anyone in my life. Watching him suffer from cancer and seeing him take his last breath changed me. It screwed me up." He sniffles and wipes away a few tears. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You and your perfect life."

"I understand more than you think."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," he scoffs.

I take a deep breath. "When I was twelve my grandmother died. She was the only person in my family who ever wanted me to be me. After she died, I went down a dark hole and was actually diagnosed with depression. It, as you put it, screwed me up. So I do understand what you're going through."

He looks up at me and I can see the shock in his eyes. "Nobody has ever understood me like you just did."

A small smile tugs on my lips. "I guess we can understand each other."

"Yeah, I guess we can," he says with a smile.

"Seth."

"Yeah?"

"I forgive you for what you did to me. Well, what you almost did to me."

Once again shock flushes his face. "Why?"

I shift into a more comfortable position. "Well, after showing me so much of yourself and, "I motion to the blanket and sweets, "after doing all of this for me I think it's the right time to forgive you. Two guys hurt me that night, but you are the only one who actually deserves forgiveness."

"You're really something you know that?" he asks as he chuckles.

Grabbing another chocolate bar I say, "Tell me something I don't know."

We didn't spend a very long time in the park due to the increasing cold in the night air and how late it was getting. As per my request, Seth drove me to the corner store. The drive there was quiet and more than once I found myself looking over at him. Tonight really gave me an insight into him. We are very different people in many aspects of life, but deep down we are both broken and trying our best to keep what we built back up together. 

Eventually, we pull up at the store, and he kills the engine.

"Thanks for the chocolate in the park. I really needed it." 

"It's the least I could do after you had such a crappy ending to your date."

"And a first kiss that was completely against my will," I chuckle. It's not that funny but laughing is better than crying I guess. 

His eyes widen like saucers. "That was your first kiss?"

I nervously nod my head. "Yeah, but, maybe my next one will be better."

A small blush creeps up to his cheeks and he momentarily looks down at his feet.

"What?" I ask knowing full well that the look in his eyes means he has some sort of an idea.

"Maybe I can help with that as well," he mumbles, and my breath hitches in my throat.

"You. . . you want to kiss me?" I ask really hoping that I heard him right.

"Only because I feel bad for you," he quickly says.

"Oh." I lower my gaze.

I hear him take a deep breath before I feel his finger gently hold my chin. He tilts my head back up so that I'm looking him directly in the eye.

"And, because. . . well, a girl like you deserves a decent second kiss."

His fingers move away from my chin and stroke my cheek. They flex out and now the right side of my face is resting in his open palm. My heart rate increases as he leans closer and closer and closer until his lips are finally pressed against mine. He remains motionless for a hit second before he starts moving his lips. We quickly find a slow rhythm and as good of a kisser Toby was, Seth is a hundred times better. My hands automatically reach up into his hair and pull at his locks causing him to let out a small groan. Soon, our slow kiss became more passionate. But it only lasted a few seconds before Seth pulls back while gasping for breath. And I can't say I didn't have to do the same thing.

My lips feel swollen and I look over at Seth, searching his face for any sign of regret. But, to my utter surprise, I don't find any. This makes me happy but it also sends a wave of awkwardness into the air.

"I should go," I nervously mumble as my hand searches for the door handle. 

He nods.

"Okay. . . well. . . bye."

"Bye," he says while keeping his focus locked on the steering wheel.

Maybe he does regret kissing me. 

As I walk back to my house I notice that Seth didn't start driving away until I was right at my doorstep. Before we left the park he did say that he was going to make sure I got home safe, even if it meant he stayed parked until I was inside. The fact that he kept his promise makes me smile again, but it quickly vanishes when I realize that while things have gotten better between us, they will never be the same again. And it might not be in a good way.