AS THE ENCHANTED LAWN MOWER RUMBLED MAJESTICALLY THROUGH THE AIR, Theo had ample opportunity to regret a number of his life choices, the most recent and immediately relevant of which was his choice of conveyance to Pinkleton.

He had no idea what air conditioning was; since Bihatra had spoken of the mysterious thing in a positive tone, Theo could only assume it was some kind of torture device, perhaps the clever application of air in some way to induce unbearable pain in the victim, thereby conditioning the victim's mind into compliance. Nevertheless, he reckoned it would have been worth the risk of learning all about air conditioning—and worth the potential deaths of the two kindly strangers who had smiled at them at the hotel—if he could have been spared the magic lawn mower ride.

There was only one seat, and naturally, Bihatra had taken it; this left Theo clinging to the back of the lawn mower, his oversized T-shirt flapping in the wind as they sailed through the frigid air. Bihatra's hair, at the mercy of the wind, was whipping wildly every which way—at least, in all of the ways that led directly to Theo's face. Her hair carried the gut-churning scent of sulfur, and Theo wondered if she used it as perfume.

But despite all the suffering which he now endured, Theo had to acknowledge that it had felt good to exercise his sorcerial talents again. Although Theo's uncanny, resourceful, marvelous, powerful, awesome, astounding hex—

—Yeah, I'm going to have to cut at least three of those adjectives.

"No! You put me in this mess, at least describe it accurately!"

Theo, it's just a bit excessive. If someone comes along to critique this, I'm going to get some scathing comments.

Theo made a sound of disgust and pointed threateningly at the sky. This gesture had the unintended effect of throwing him off balance. He jerked forward, grasping at the back of the lawn mower with both arms, his face blanched with terror. "Please. This is all so very cruel and sadistic. The least you could do is allow me a few extra adjectives here and there."

Sigh...

Theo's uncanny, resourceful, blah blah hex was keeping the lawn mower afloat, but the lawn mower was still turned on, and it was loud. Another male and female character soaring through the air on a magic something ride might have been accompanied by a thrilling soundtrack, but alas; even had the author invested the time to create such an enduring artifact of pop fiction, it would not have been heard over the roaring of the lawn mower.

Come to think of it, the volume of the lawn mower's rumbling was rather a mercy for Theo and Bihatra, because it prevented any sort of dialogue at all.

Incidentally, this was a mercy for the author, who can skip writing all that dialogue and segue right into the next chapter.

Heh.