THE THEODOSIUS WHO EMERGED SEVEN HOURS LATER was a very different Theodosius—physically, at least. He was clean. His long hair had been washed and combed. The horrifying creature that had taken up residence on his face—

"It was a beard," Theo grumbled.

—had been trimmed into something much more docile and tolerant of children.

The only problem, and it was a rather large problem, was that he had no clothes. He had not thought to bring the garments Bihatra had purchased into the bathing room with him. Nearly a decade of living as a widower prior to his sojourn to Hell had not had a positive effect on his habits or social graces, and he had not fully considered the special circumstances of sharing a room with a demoness.

Theo clutched the scratchy hotel-issue towel around his hips, peering around the corner of the bathroom wall. He nearly dropped the towel when he saw Bihatra, in her natural form, reclining on the bed, using the pointed tip of her long tail to clean under her fingernails as she watched the black mirror Theo had noticed earlier. There were bright pictures playing across the mirror: people in long white coats stood in a long white room, arguing about an experimental face transplant...Whatever that was.

Enthralled, Theo watched the mirror, his mouth open. He did not fully register the rustling sound that issued from the other side of the room, but then a bundle of cloth hit him in the side of the head and, in his surprise, he dropped the towel in order to catch the clothes Bihatra had flung at his face.

"Criminy, cover that thing!" Bihatra growled.

Theo scrambled for the garments and began to wrestle them on. "What is that magical device?" he asked.

"It's a television."

"What—what are they doing with that woman's face?!"

"Transplanting it, obviously."

Pulling the drawstring to tighten the waistband of the soft pantaloons he had donned, Theo walked over to the second bed and sat on the end, staring wide-eyed at the television. "Egads, look at all that blood."

"It's mostly about the romantic sub-plots," Bihatra said. She rustled in the bag again and took out one of the brightly-wrapped packets they had purchased. She raised her hand and took aim.

"I'm right here!" Theo protested. "You can just hand it to me!"

Bihatra narrowed her eyes and extended the packet to Theo. He reached out and snatched it out of her fingers, aiming not to touch her if he could avoid it, and then held it up to look at it. He couldn't make out the words on the package, and he could not really make out the contents from the images on the front. He glanced over at Bihatra. She tore another paper packet open, and she tipped it up, pouring the contents into her hand.

Theo mimicked her and discovered that the packet contained brightly-colored sweetmeats. He popped one into his mouth and crunched into it.

The intensity of the next moment can only be written in all caps: ALL OF THEODOSIUS'S SENSES EXPLODED WITH A MIXTURE OF SHOCK AND PLEASURE AT THE EXTREMELY SWEET TASTE OF THE FIRST CANDY HE HAD HAD IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Bihatra snorted. "Welcome to chocolate, Theo. We'll stay here in Cedar Rapids tonight, and tomorrow we'll catch a ride to Pinkleton."

"Pinkleton?"

"That's the town where Paula Wolfe lived and died, and I know it's where her remains are located." Bihatra leveled a slit-eyed glance at Theo. "You do need her corpse, don't you?"

Around a mouthful of chocolate, Theo mumbled, "It is a critical component. Then there are the essence crystals, and some black candles are nice. For effect, you know."

"Essence crystals?" Bihatra was waving a large black wand at the television, and as she did so, the white-coated face-transplanters on the television disappeared and were replaced with a moving picture of several very serious people.

One of them said, "I got the analysis back on the stomach contents."

"Glad we're not at lunch," said another.

Theo shoved more chocolate into his mouth. He glanced down, alarmed to see that the packet of candy was empty. He looked over at the shopping bag sitting on Bihatra's bed and reached for another packet.

"Do you care to explain the probably-important matter of the essence crystals?" Bihatra said in what Theo recognized as a deceptively silky tone.

He replied around another mouthful of chocolate. "They're crystals. They contain the life essence required to bring a soul back from the dead."  He felt like he could conquer the entire world with the joy and energy these sugary candies gave him. Necromancy? Give him enough chocolate, and it would be a cinch!

"You might have mentioned that little necessity before." Bihatra scowled moodily, waving the television wand again. "Where are we going to get one of those?"

The serious people discussing partially-digested liver paté and what it meant about someone's time of death disappeared. They were replaced with a wide-eyed blonde woman laughing and holding up a bright pink weapon of some kind.

"Tell me, Kimberly," said the blonde woman to another woman standing next to her, "what exactly does the GentlAther face wand do for your pores?"

"Well, Kimberly," said the other woman, "allow me to demonstrate!"

The picture disappeared, and the mirror was once again black. Theo gaped, then turned his head to Bihatra, who was holding the television wand. "Why'd you—"

"You need to focus, you idiot! We're about to go dig up a grave, which Earthlings frown upon. We had better make Devil-damned sure we have all of our idiomatic ducks in a row when we get there so we don't get caught in the act. The Earthling police don't scare me, but I will sure as Hell scare them, and I don't look forward to the paperwork involved in an unplanned demon sighting. How are we going to get one of these essence crystals?"

"Well, we need a vessel of some kind to capture a person's life essence. Ideally a person who won't be needing it any more."

"What kind of vessel?"

"Uhh..." Theo looked around, but there were surprisingly few arcane crystals to be had in a mid-range hotel room in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He poured the rest of his chocolate into his mouth and got up, making his way into the bathing room. He came back a moment later carrying one of the hand towels. "This looks pretty absorbent."

"A hotel-issue towel?" Bihatra wrinkled her nose.

Theo shrugged. "Do you have any arcane crystals in the pockets of that unnecessarily tight cat-suit?"

With a huff, Bihatra sat up. "Put on your shoes. We're going to the Emergency Room."