I've been writing down thoughts and what I've been doing...

So, this is what I've been doing^^

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Since I've been gone, some things have happened. 

I signed up for archery, but at this point in time, I have no clue if I'll get into the archery program.

I've been trying to get in this program for 3 or 4 years now. My mom says that the emai she received said that if too many people want to join, they will do a drawing. So, me getting into the program may come down to pure luck. My mom said that if I don't get in that she'll just buy me a bow and arrow and I can just  teach myself haha.

We'll find out on the 11th!

My uncle is now bailed out! But, he cannot have any guns or knives in the house with him. (It's bullshit.) This also means my aunt had to give up HER GUN so, now she has no way of protecting herself.

 I think her sons has possession of their guns and a friend of theirs has their motorcycle in safe keeping. We have the knives. 

A box of knives. And a machete. Wowie.

They are in my mom's car, currently. We're trying to find a place for them in the house. 

Oh, and the news stations got L A S H I N G S 

There is a lot more to this that I have not talked about. If you want to know more and how my uncle is doing, please ask me directly.^^

My mom, aunt, and I had a fun shopping trip last week! 

We first went to Goodwill. Got curtains and boots...

Then, we went to eat. Chinese food! Yum!

Tea...

Miso soup...

Whole bunch of shit!

Ugh. So good.

Then, we went to Kohl's

Damn, son. Expensive. 

Got ONE THING.

ON SALE.......

A shirt (Don't have the picture my mom took, sorry.) 

for.... get this

SEVENTEEN DOLLARS

For a plaid shirt ;^; wtffffffffffffffffffffffff

I saw a mannequin and I yelled, "SHE A BUSINESSWOMAN NOW!" XDDD

But, ugh, the cashier. 

I was standing in line waiting for this elderly lady to finish filling out some form, so I glanced around, looking at all the COOL SHIT. 

When......the snooty-ass cashier NOTICES ME and RUDELY says, "Can you back up?!?!?!??! THIS IS PRIVATE INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

bitch no

just no

I was offended af. I COULDN'T SEE WHAT THE HELL THAT LADY WAS WRITING! BITCH, I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT I CAN'T SEE. 

I mean, I understand, but....couldn't she have said it in a nicer way? 

But, I was THAT DAMN CLOSE to being like, "Bitch what the fuck?"

Ugh...

Let's see...

Hell's Kitchen is back! Yay!

And, so is Lethal Weapon! Hell yeah! 

My parents and I have started watching a new series called The Good Doctor. It's great, and defiantly worth a watch!!!

During this time, I've been reading a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist and reading a shit ton of Rick Riordian! I'm currently reading The Red Pyramid, book one of the Kane Chronicles.  It's really good so far!

Oh, my dad was out of town for  couple of days....

My responsibility was to take care of the outside animals...

Today, (9/30/17) when my dad came home, my dad told me that three baby chickens died because they didn't have food. I started crying uncontrollably. 

It was my responsibility and I  let them DIE. 

I let them STARVE TO DEATH because I forgot they were there. 

I should be the one starving to death...

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Today felt...weird. I woke up frequently during the night. My cat pissed on my sheets at about 5 in the morning. 

Ugh.  So much work to do.  

I need to practice piano, but there are much more important things I need to be doing.

I want to get my hone back before my birthday. It's October 1st...

*Sigh* I have piano in....two days? UGH WHY?!

At least I have this to take my mind off things.

Today, my parents and I pretty much 1'just watched cheesy Hallmark movies. One was themed around a pie competition. There was a family feud revolving around the contest. The som and daughter of the moms in the feuding families fell in love and they made the families make up, and then the lovebirds won the contest together. 

Cheesy as hell. Ugh.

It's like... you hate it, but you fucking love it at the same time. 

Another one was about a pear farm. And fall. And the harvest and shit. Got your two main characters falling in love. A city girl and a country guy, y'know? CHEESY AS FUCK, AGH.

Damn you, Hallmark. XD

I might ask my mom if she'll help me put stuff on a blank CD. (It's been a while. XD Oh my God, do we even own blank CDs anymore?!) 

Maybe I can get my Mystic Messenger fix. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Seven has been watching you from the start, MC. <3

Maybe I can play it while in my mom's car lolololololololol

EMBRACE THE INNER FANGIRL! XD

Hey, my mom was a fangirl, too. So, she understands XD

I wonder which MysMes character my mom would like most? 

Maybe I'll ask her soon XDDDD

Imma take a wild guess and say Jaehee. XD 

(Because who DOESN'T love Jaehee, am I right?)

Well, I guess I DO like actual people, too...

But, ugh.

I don't do socialization.

Honestly, how are 12 year olds these days getting boyfriends/girlfriends? 

hOW????????????????//

Ugh.

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I don't know what's going on with me...I've felt dizzy, my head is pounding, and my was beating white heavily. 

I think MAYBE someone from the other side is doing this to me. But, I haven't had any dreams or visitations lately, so I don't know what to think. 

I think the reason I haven't had any visitations because my mental state is quite unstable currently. 

I know this probably sounds like bull, but I DO have some sort of gift. I don't know WHAT I would classify as. I know I've talked about it before, and I have no clue if you believe me or if you think I'm full of shit, but smelling things like cigarette smoke in a house where no one has smoked for YEARS is no coincidence. It is a spirit making themselves known.

Okay, I just talked to my mom and she said that she was also smelling things that we would not normally smell here, as well. She also said that because of my aunt's death date passing by recently (September 26th)  that she would be able to come through easier.

After, I started crying and said under my breath, "I need you to help me. I need you to help me clear my head. I need you to come through to me, please. I need you to hav evisitation with me because the family is a mess. We're all a mess."

I hope she comes through. 

But, I'm too overwhelmed. 

My mom says that I have to learn to meditate and she'll get me some books to read to help me. 

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I've just been so nervous today.......

Ugh. The laptop is dying.

See you when I can!

                            - Fira.