Ash

When I first stepped into the Shoebox I felt two things scared and hopeful. Scared because a girl was calling me an idiot and I learned some curse words I didn't know existed. Hopeful because when I saw her I felt like we were destined to meet.  I fell into her brown eyes not knowing that I wouldn't be able to climb out. Tonight, I am neither scared or hopeful. I am crushed. I am being crushed and someone needs to help me because the walls are coming closer and I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to do that.

She is not here. I wiped the tears away from eyes and look around the room. Nothing but bare walls and disappoint stare back.

I am outside of the building. The air is cool and I can finally breathe again. I am not ready to go home. I can't face my dad. No, I can't face the future. I can't face this burning feeling in my chest. I want my heart out of my body. I want it to stop.

I run toward the sports fields. This is not the direction of my car but by the time I realize this I am half-way there. I run all the way to the fence that borders the track. I am out of breath. I would have never made the track team. I look at the track. I can imagine Fiona and me running here together on a sunny day.

"Hello," a voice calls to me in the distance. It is soft and sweet. I've heard it a million times before.

"Fiona?"

"Ash?"

"Fiona!"

"Ash!"

I climb over the fence. She's on the opposite side of the track so by the time we get to each other we are out of breath. I hold her face in my hands. Tears stream down her face and mine.

"I'm sorry," she says in between sobs. "I'm sorry."

"No," I say wiping the tears from her eyes. "No, don't say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry," she says ignoring me. "I didn't mean to hurt-"

"No, you don't have to explain. There is nothing you can say to-"

"Ash, I don't want to lose you."

"Fiona, there isn't a single thing you could you to make me stop choosing you. I love every part of you. I love your smile. Your earnestness. I love how excitable you are and how passionate. I love buying you coffee and seeing you every morning. I love your brown eyes and I love kissing you. I love you."

It takes me a second to realize what I just said. It just came out. I meant every word. The problem is that what if she doesn't feel the same way. I want to take it back but by the expression on her face, I can tell she's feeling the same way.

"I love you," she barely done saying this before she's kissing me.