Cally

Mornings are my least favorite part of the day. It's my fault that morning are so bad for me but I don't plan on changing my habits. I don't think I could if I tried to. This morning my headaches are even worse. I have a massive hangover. Last night I went to a party not because I wanted to. There was free alcohol. Free alcohol, for me, is like free happiness.

I don't remember when I started to drink so much. Honestly, I don't remember my life before I always had a flask on me. The last time I remember being happy without alcohol was when I was dating Peter. That's over now. I wish it wasn't. I wish he didn't give up on me.

I take a swig from the glass bottle of liquor on my nightstand. I can feel my headache is relieved. I pull on whatever clothes I have laying on the floor and head downstairs. I grab my keys from the table by the door. Before I leave the house I notice a car in our driveway. I pull open the front door.

There is a boy at the bottom of the stairs. He has dark hair and pale skin. And his arms are wrapped around my sister. Then he kisses her neck and her mouth. I'm totally confused. My first instinct is to kick him in the balls for harassing my sister, but then I notice my sister is kissing him back. When did this happen? Why didn't she tell me?

"Good morning," I say, loud enough so they can hear me over their teenage angst.

They let go of each other immediately. Like they were just caught doing something illegal. I think I startled them. Neither of them speaks and Fiona is turning an impressive shade of red.

"Who's this?"

"Uh, Cally this is my um friend- erm boyfriend," she looks at the floor when she says, boyfriend. "Ash. Ash this is my sister, Cally."

This Ash-kid is not embarrassed one bit. I honestly think he's enjoying watching her get embarrassed. After she said the word boyfriend I thought he was going to marry her right on the spot. God, this look he is giving her is literally giving me butterflies, too.

He extends his arm for a shake. I first size him up. I scan him with my eyes just to make sure his not a douchebag. He hesitates and is about to pull his hand away. I quickly grab it and give it a shake. I let go and turn to my sister.

"Well I got to go," Fiona is still looking at the floor.

"Nice meeting you," Ash says

"Yeah," I get into my car, take out my flask and drive away.

Honestly, I'm not surprised she didn't tell me that she had a boyfriend. We haven't talked a lot lately. It's all my fault. Sometimes I wished someone would just see through all the alcohol I consume and just try and help me. I think Fiona might be too afraid to. She has no obligation to tell me but I'm still upset. We used to tell each other everything. When Peter asked me out she was the first one I told.

It's hard for me to admit this but I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the way he looks at her. I'm jealous of the chemistry between them. I want that. Why didn't Peter love me enough? Why can't I be enough? Why can't I have that? Why can't I be happy?