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You asked, I delivered :) And it's freaking long. Happy reading!

38

The Mockingjay

"Finnick, please try to understand..."

"You told me that you were going to get her from Four. You told me that you were going to bring her here. With us."

"I never promised anything except that I would try. They took her the night the force field blew. Hours after. There was no way to get there in time. I'm so sorry."

I run my hand down my face and attempt to blink back tears, but I can feel the remains of my foundation being shaken. My beacon of light isn't hiding, she's being snuffed out.

"Is there no way we can save her? Save her and get Johanna and Peeta back too?"

Heavensbee sighs and gives me a look that says I look more of a wreck than I feel. "We'll try Finnick, of course we will. I don't think they'll hurt her. It would serve no purpose for them."

I let that soak, but then an icy dagger wedges its way into my peace. "They will to hurt me."

I picture Annie being whipped, tortured, screaming, and terrorized. I fall to my knees and fold in on myself as if my very bones were crumbling to the ground.

"Maybe I should get someone..." Heavensbee whispers outloud.

"Please," I beg him, letting my cheek rest of the floor of my room, "Just leave me alone for a little while."

He gives me a pat on the shoulder before closing the door quietly behind him.

So now I've done it. I've finally destroyed her.

I don't know at what point I lost consciousness, but I know now that I am in a dream. I'm walking in a place void of space, meeting Annie who is in her interview dress and walking for me. She looks beautiful. I look down and find myself in a matching suit. When we are close enough, we lock naturally in a dancing posture and begin to move in a floating waltz through the nothing.

"Are we dead?" I ask.

"Not yet," she responds with a little smile.

"Then what is all this?"

Her eyes twinkle and she gives me an effortless kiss on the cheek without breaking step. "You've finally lost it, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look around you," she says, "We're in your dream."

"So?"

"See how much you can feel my hand on yours?" she asks, giving my hand a squeeze, "How vivid the details on our clothing and faces are?"

I don't answer because I still don't know what I should say. She says it for me. "When you're crazy, you have the most vivid dreams."

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Please stop!" I scream, crushing my hands over my ears. They have filled the bottom of Johanna's cell with an inch of water and have been repeatedly electrocuting her for hours. Her screams tear a path through my subconscious. Peeta was taken away for some kind of interview.

"Tell us and it will stop," Argen says to Johanna as she struggles to recover from her last treatment.

"We both know that's not going to happen," she manages to say before doubling over in pain. Argen frowns and gestures to his men. I think they're going to zap her again, but they don't. The walls in her cell go down and the water floods out into drains. Two guards walk in and hold her arms. Argen pulls a syringe from his pocket and kneels down in front of her. I remove my hands so I can hear what he's saying.

"What do you know? Are they going to attack? And when?"

"Sorry. Dunno."

Argen flicks the syringe with his other hand and gets closer to her. "This little shot here has the power to make every single one of your individual viens feel like they're being electrocuted for hours. Sometimes days if you're body doesn't know how to rid itself of the toxin. I'm not going to ask twice."

Johanna looks at the syringe and then just bows her head.

"Just tell them Johanna!" I shriek at her, panic rising in my throat. I don't know who she's trying to protect or what she's trying to hide, but I can't be worth all this. I'll tell them. I'll lie, I don't care. I wish I had the strength to break through these bars.

Scream scream scream it's all a bad dream.

Argen shrugs indifferently and injects her with the shot and then exits with his men. At first nothing happens and I allow myself to hope that maybe it didn't work. But then Johanna stiffens and arcs her back until she's supported by her head and feet, all the while screaming like every cell in her body was being pressed to a white iron.

"MAKE IT STOP! STOP!" I cry, slapping my hands over my ears and rocking on my knees.

Sh, Annie, shhh.

Monsters are eating Johanna from the inside out.

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.

But she didn't stop screaming. Not for hours. By the end of it I'm nothing but a blithering, sobbing pile of nothing on the ground with my hands pressed so hard against my ears I have a headache from the block in circulation. My heart is still beating.

Thud thud thud thud.

I sit up to inspect the silence, unable to stop shivering. The nails of the metal floor leave imprints in my skin. I'm so sick of being too cold to sleep but too warm to die. Johanna is unconscious, hopefully in a world kinder than the one her body's in. I look up as they drag Peeta back in, but now he's wearing a full suit. They toss him in his cell, lock it, and leave. He roars in frustration and kicks his cot into the back wall. It startles me.

"What happened?" I ask, pulling myself up to the bars linking our cages.

"They showed me the footage of the last night in the arena," he says while running his hand through his hair. "It's just like you said. Katniss shot the arrow into the forcefield. But they're out there trying to turn her into the bad guy. They're out there trying to turn the world against her." He turns to me and swings his arms out, "But we didn't know! There's no way she could've known! I saw the look on her face she had no idea what she was doing. She was looking for me. She was trying to find me. She had no idea there was some master plan behind it. But they don't believe me!"

"Peeta..."

"So then Snow comes up in his high horse and starts telling me they know where Katniss is and they'll blow her up if I don't help them stop the revolution-"

"Wait, what?"

"So I had to call for a cease fire! And honestly, it didn't sound like such a bad idea! I have no idea what's going on out there and it's killing me!"

"Peeta did they tell you what happened to Finnick?"

"He's with her I'm sure," he says gruffly, spinning on his heels, "they both were close enough together with Beetee to be rescued before the second aircraft arrived."

He breaks and I see tears glistening on his cheeks. "She didn't know," he says to himself as he slides down the wall, "She didn't know."

"No, she didn't," Johanna says. The sound of her voice surprises me, I didn't expect her to be able to speak. But with those three words I could feel the relief melt through the air. Maybe our loved ones are out there leading different lives and doing things that don't have to do with saving us, but at least we can take solace in the fact that they didn't plan for this.

I know Finnick didn't plan for this.

Maybe he thought he'd be able to rescue you faster.

Finnick didn't plan for this. It was a mistake.

He knew the plan. He was in on it.

"Finnick knew."

Saying it outloud sounds like an accusation, one I want to take back. The room is quiet and then Johanna manages to hoarsely answer that one too.

"But he never knew you'd be taken away. He thought that the rebels would protect you."

See? He didn't abandon you.

How dare you betray his trust, after all he's done.

I'm pathetic. So weak. So fragile. So pathetic.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I'm not sure how many days pass. Nothing much happens. Peeta gave me his suit jacket to keep warm, but Argen took it away. So I don't let him do that anymore because than neither of us benefits. Because Johanna's gotten such a rough end with the torture, Peeta spends a lot of time on that side of his cell trying to comfort her. Sometimes I want to help her so badly it hurts me. I want to tell her everything's going to be alright. But I cant. I'm stuck here.

And one day Argen appears at my cell door, just after a fresh beating session at Johanna's.

"Well, well, well," he crows, looking me up and down. I fold my arms over my chest and try to hide the rest of me by turning away. But every angle provides something for him to leer at. "Little miss Annie Cresta. You look chilly," he grins impishly and then gestures at one of his men who holds up a camera. "You see Miss Cresta," he continues, stalking my front door, "You're only here to break your little friend out there. Finnick Odair, yes, the one and only. You're rather stunning Miss Cresta it's no wonder he's chosen you to be his permanent sex object."

"He's not like that," I hiss, trying no tot let my fear show. Argen laughs and gives me a patronizing smile.

"You don't think so? You don't think he enjoys all that luxurious intimacy here in the capitol?"

"No. He doesn't."

Argen studies me then chuckles again, "Interesting. Anyway, here's the point of our little visit. We need to get through to your little friend and have him come here and confess all the plans and plots all to us. So naturally the best way to get to him is to get to you. And we're going to get the whole thing on a nice little tape to send to him so he can mull it over."

My voice quivers because I'm afraid of what's coming. "Send what?"

"Are you cold, Miss Cresta?" Argen asks with a creepy grin. Suddenly the ceiling of my cell turns red and I can feel the heat glaring off the metal. The red begins to fan out over the space and as it does, the original spot turns yellow and white with the intensity of the heat.

They're going to burn you alive.

"NO!" I scream, leaping at the bars. "NO PLEASE DON'T!"

Argen and his men keep a safe distance from my hands as I try to claw for the little button in his hand. And suddenly searing pain erupts in my hands and I leap away from the bars, staring at the straight burns on my hand. The heat is spreading down the bars, getting closer and closer to the ground.

"NO, NO PLEASE!"

But they don't listen. I watch in horror as the first of the red glow kisses the metal ground and then starts to spread in from each side. The proximity of the heat makes my eyes hurt.

"Annie!" I hear Peeta shout. I look at him and he's standing behind the glowing red bars. "Annie, look at me. Just stay calm. Just don't panic-"

"You can't escape Annie!" Argen shouts over him. I look at the space I have left on the ground and see that it's shrinking into a tiny little island in the middle. I whimper and retreat to that small space. The red gets closer and closer. I imagine searing my skin on the white hot metal. I imagine slowly dying, writhing on the sweltering ground until my skin bakes through and all my vital organs spill out to fry on the floor.

"Please," I beg, fear overcoming me. I dissolve into fear and defeat. The camera's little red light flashes letting me know it's going to capture every little agonizing second of my death. Sweat drips down my back.

My island is shrinking more. First I can stand on both feet. Then it shrinks to the size of a dinner plate and I have to lift one of my legs. I teeter-totter and nearly lose my balance.

The fires coming. The fires coming to swallow you whole.

I look down at my wrist, "Where's my bracelet?" I scream, suddenly that's the most important thing to me. "Where's Troy? Where are the fire puppies?"

They look at me like I've lost it, which tells me I have.

"Are you waiting?" I growl at them like some kind of animal, "Are you waiting to see my blood snakes slither away from me? Are you waiting for my blood snakes to come bite you in the hearts?"

The one peacekeeper turns to Argen who merely shrugs. I'm on my toes now because the island is the size of a saucer. Then a coin. I'm balancing on my big toe. And then it's gone.

In the shock of feeling the burn on my toe, I do the worst thing I can do. I leap away, coming down on my other foot which lands on the white metal. I scream and shriek and thrash, jumping from place to place, but no where offers relief. My feet can't take it anymore and fall onto my hands and knees which hurts more. I'm screaming screaming screaming. I try to stand to get off my knees but my aching feet throw me back down and I fall on my side.

"ANNIE!" a voice screams. "GET ON THE COT!"

Cot cot cot, the ground is hot.

Where's relief, it's nowhere in sight.

The ash will turn my skin to night.

"COME ON ANNIE, FOCUS! GET ON THE COT, NOW."

My body is shaking and I see the cot. He's right, it's not on fire. I force myself up, which tears the skin that welded onto the floor and leap for it. When I land the relief is instant and I start crying. I laugh if it's healing pain. But if it's hurting pain I cry and scream. And this is just hurting pain.

Soon after that the fire disappears and the room is nearly as cold as it was before, no sign of the blazing iron that was searing my skin before. Someone's saying something to me but I can't hear them. I'm forcing my self to pull in breath after breath. The aching on my skin would soon turn to acute agony, I knew that. So for now I had to keep myself calm.

"That's a wrap," Argen chuckles. "That was very dramatic Annie, the part where you stumble is very visually dynamic."

I whimper and spread out my limbs so that my burns don't rub together. Peeta is getting sick in the cell over. I watch Argen and his crew leave. The pain is intensifying and I stifle a scream, trying to keep myself under control. My heart is beating a mile a second.

Thud thud thud thud thud.

Don't go into shock Annie, stay here. Don't go into shock or you'll die.

The pain pulses and I can't hold back the sound it forces from me.

Maybe death wouldn't be such a bad thing.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

Annie's gone, nowhere to go. There's nobody here that I know.

Except Beetee and Katniss. I've seen them. Yep, I have. But only in passing. I'm going to go visit Beetee now. They said I could. And I didn't want to hang out with all those mental patients from the fire in Twelve anymore anyway.

As I'm heading towards his room I hear screaming. A woman's screaming. Is it...no. There's no way.

Annie.

I lunge forward and crash through the doors. As I enter I see Beetee and a man named Boggs switch off a television way too quickly to be unsuspicious.

"What's going on?" I demand, looking at their faces. They're looking at me almost apologetically. "What was that? Why did I hear Annie screaming?"

"Finnick, it wasn't-"

"DON'T LIE."

Even with a few weeks under the shelter of Thirteen, my muscle mass is still better than Boggs' by far. I see Beetee rip the tape out of the player and toss it to Boggs. I watch them and then see Boggs move to rip out the film.

"Stop!" I careen forward and almost swipe the tape, but Boggs is faster. "What's on the tape?"

"Finnick, you don't want to see!"

"I do-"

Next thing I know the film has been ripped out and Boggs is standing there with a destroyed tape. "Sorry. It's for your own good. It was a fake tape sent by the Capitol to break you. It wasn't real but we knew you wouldn't believe us if you saw it. So now you won't."

He tosses the tape into the furnace where I presume Beetee gets people to weld things for his weapons. But...Annie...

"Are they hurting her?"

"It was a fake."

Boggs leaves and Beetee is left to deal with me alone.

"You really should be resting," he tells me, "you've been through so much already."

"So have you," I reason, taking a seat. "Volts, please tell me the truth."

He turns to some sort of gun and starts playing with the wires. "Why, dear boy? So you can disintegrate until you're completely useless? She needs you alive, she needs you to be the man you always were. That's your responsibility isn't it? To protect her?"

"Yeah but-"

"Then protect her from yourself."

I stare at him for a second and then sigh, covering my face in my hands. "They're torturing her, aren't they? That's why you won't tell me. It's that bad." He doesn't say anything, which lets me know it's even worse than I thought. "I feel like I'm losing my grip here, Beetee."

"Maybe you should," he says as-a-matter-of-factly. "Maybe you need to let yourself lose it for a while. So you can come back stronger when she returns." I blink at him and he gives me one of his little smiles. "It's okay, I give you permission. Go nuts. Or go volts, come to think of it. Just get it out of your system."

I don't say a word, even as someone brings a tray in full of food and drinks. Beetee has healed immensely since the arena, but he's still too weak to eat heavy foods. I stare at a spot at the wall and only blink when he says, "Tea?"

"No, thanks."

Eventually I wander back to the hospital wing where they've been keeping me. I land on the bed and stare up at the ceiling.

Okay Fin, now's the time. Lose it.

I close my eyes and let everything go. My reaping, my murders, but father's death, my mother's departure, Ivan's oily grin, the faces and secret whispers of countless women, Annie's reaping, Troy kissing and then dying for her, her insanity, my second reaping, Mags' death, and now Johanna and Annie's capture. I let it flow in and fill me up and then I arc my head back, open my mouth, and suck in the air.

And then I scream.

I let all the agony, all the humiliation, of all my memories pour out through my voice. I scream until I swear it doesn't matter where she is, Annie can hear me. I want to go back to my district. All I want is to see the ocean again, to see the waves I was raised on. I want to see Annie swimming towards me in one of her white dresses that make her look like a jellyfish underwater. I want to feel the sand on my hands and feet and sleep under the clear sky. I miss the sky. I miss the stars. I miss the air.

I miss my home.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"How are you feeling?" I think it's Peeta's voice asks. I moan and feel tears spring to my eyes.

"I want to go home."

"We all do," Johanna says back.

I can't really move anymore, which means I can't go get the food even when they leave it. I'm feeling myself wasting away to nothing. Every night it gets harder and harder to wake up. Eventually the pain of hunger and thirst gets dissolved by the ever-constant pain in my body. Peeta will ask how I'm doing sometimes, but I think they've given up on me. I would've given up on me.

"My, my Miss Cresta. You look like hell," I hear a voice say on one unidentifiable way. "We can't have you dead, not yet. It ruins the temptation."

I moan because I'm too weak to say anything else. I feel something cool on my skin and open my eyes to see some avox spreading ointment on all my burns. It gives me a tingly sensation and seems to suck out the pain. I blink at her but she of course says nothing. I recognize her as the red-headed avox they have in the cell across from us. Lavinia or something like that. When she's done she picks up the tray of food and sets it beside me, giving it a firm point. I nod to say I understand. Then she raises the glass of water to my lips and tips it so I have no choice but to drink. It feels nice running past my dry lips and passed my dry throat.

She's about to leave but I grab her hand. "Thank you."

She nods and then Argen leads her back to her cell. I fall back asleep I think. When I wake up my burns feel a lot better and I feel stronger. I actually make myself eat.

When I do, I notice the condition that everyone else is in. Johanna's a mess, which is no surprise. But it's Peeta who shocks me. They've taken him away a few times but he always comes back seemingly unscathed.

Unscathed physically.

What are they doing to him?

He's lost a lot of weight. Maybe ten pounds. And the bags under his eyes are nearly black with fatigue and heart-sickness. I realize once again in my life I've been too selfish. As night falls I see tears streaming down his face. So this time I reach my hands through the bars.

"Peeta."

He doesn't respond, nor does he blink. I try again.

"Peeta." He looks at me and my heart breaks for him. "How are you doing?"

He shakes his head and his eyes fall on my outstretched hand. He takes it and presses his face into our clutched hands and cries, his whole body shaking. I feel so badly for him. This whole capture for him has been about him losing his love. At least I got to keep mine. He's confused, hurt. Probably lonely and tired of being a pillar for me and Johanna.

"She loves you Peeta," I say finally, stroking his hair with my free hand. "I know she does. Don't give up."

He falls asleep holding my hand and eventually I do too.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

I've been in the hospital for days. Katniss's mom and some other doctors gave me a thin piece of rope to start tying knots with. They said it was good for me to try to occupy my hands with something familiar, something from home. When they first gave it to me it was longer, but from the way I was looking at it I think they thought better of it and cut the length down so I couldn't fashion some kind of noose. No matter. I liked tying the knots. It was a little bit of a distraction. No, not really. It was just a way to channel my frustrations in a way that felt familiar.

They told me that my mother, friends, and Annie's family are alive. They've been left to make their own decisions on whether or not they want to help fight in the rebellion or go into hiding. My mother's gone into hiding. My friends have all joined the rankings. I guess Martin's found a girl there by the sound of the rumors they told me about their scandal in the weaponry house. I heard that Echo's been left with the children because Pearl couldn't stop herself from fighting, especially since Stephen joined the fight. For Annie's sake, I pray she comes out alive.

I saw something on television that gave me hope. Peeta had an interview, and even though the footage pinned him as a traitor, he didn't look injured. Just maybe a little haunted. But physically he looked in tact. Maybe that's the same for Annie, too.

I wonder how Katniss is doing with all this?

I haven't seen anyone familiar for such a long time it seems. I'm lonely.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I'm given a handful of sugar cubes that's supposed to be for the horses. When the avox leaves, I turn around in exasperation.

"I cannot believe they stuck me in something like this. I mean, the knot on the rope barely covers my-"

Mags covers her ears in a blunt fashion and I have to laugh. She looks like a pouting child. I stare down at myself again and shake my head.

Golden Boy Finnick, channel it. You're going to have to if you want out of this alive.

Johanna and Seeder whistle at me and stalk over, giving me an over exaggerated 'up-down'. "Nice knot there," Johanna says crassly, "I like the part where, when you turn to the side, I know exactly how big each item of your junk is."

I laugh and give her a push. She almost falls over because, once again, she's dressed as a tree. "Is that why you have wood?"

Johanna gives me a look that says I've topped her. I grin smugly at her and then rub the side of her trunk affectionately. "They said 'seduction suits me.'"

"It certainly does," Seeder says, "I've never seen floss look so good."

We laugh again when I notice Katniss enter the scene alone, pinning herself to her chariot. She's trying hard to look inconspicuous.

Not so boisterous off camera, are you darling?

It's sort of a joke with us victors how squeamish this tough Katniss is when it comes to naked bodies. And hey, look!-I'm a naked body. For the most part anyway. I excuse myself from the girls and walk over to this new girl who's got the world in such a fuss-actually I'm almost certain she's the reason we're all here-and wait for her to turn around. When she does, her face is inches from mine and her surprise is evident. I pop a sugar cube in my mouth and lean against the horse. She blinks at me in surprise. I casually say, "Hello Katniss."

She tries to copy my nonchalant aptitude, but it isn't nearly as effective. "Hello, Finnick." She's just radiating with discomfort.

"Want a sugar cube?" I offer, holding out the pile on my hand. "They're supposed to be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to eat sugar, whereas you and I...well, if we see something sweet, we better grab it quick.

Judging by her blush, my innuendo doesn't go unnoticed.

Or unappreciated, might I add.

"No thanks," she says to the sugar, "I'd love to borrow your outfit sometime, though."

Ooh, feisty. "You're absolutely terrifying me in that getup," I say, looking her over. On a second thought I also moisten my lips, just slightly. "What happened to all the pretty little girl dresses?"

She gives me a dirty look. "I outgrew them."

This, of course, just makes her sound more like a child to me.

I feel her collar in my fingers. The material really is magnificent. "It's too bad about this Quell thing. You could have made out like a bandit in the Capitol. Jewells. Money. Anything you desire."

"I don't like jewels," she replies, "and I have more money than I need. What do you spend all yours on anyway, Finnick?"

"Oh, I haven't dealt in something as common as money for a long time."

She's playing my game of seduction. "Then how do they pay you for the pleasure of your company?" Right, she's a new tribute. She has no idea what my life is really like.

"With secrets," I whisper. I lean in and cock my head to the side so that our lips are nearly brushing. "What about you, girl on fire? Have any secrets worth my time?"

She blushes again. "No, I'm an open book. Everybody seems to know my secrets before I do."

I laugh. "Unfortunately I think that's true." I see Peeta approaching and decide not to end my fun in a brawl with her boyfriend, however real or fake he may be. Suddenly a part of me really dislikes this girl Katniss, because of the games she is playing with this man. But I'm supposed to relate. The Golden Boy would understand stringing along poor little Peeta. "It's a shame you had to cancel your wedding," I say, and then add just a hint of venom, "I know how devastating that must be for you." I pop another sugar cube in my mouth and turn on my heels. Johanna is waiting for me upon my return.

"What did she say?" she asks eagerly.

"Nothing really. But that was definitely fun."

"Can you believe they're calling her the face of the revolution?"

"Who's saying that?"

"Everybody."

I glance over at Katniss talking to Peeta. A survivor. I'm not sure what else. I suppose I opt towards the side of sympathy than hatred. "There's got to be something there. She almost committed suicide on television."

"Maybe," Johanna yawns, "I suppose she's the best dressed for it. The only thing you and I are good for right now are earring hangers. And even then I'd bet yours would be the more popular choice."

o-o-o-o-o

"Alright, everyone that can walk, follow me," Ms. Everdeen announces to all us patients. A few of them stand up and follow her out. It doesn't register that I'm supposed to go too until she returns for me with a gentle smile and tugs on my wrist. "Come on Finnick, everyone wants to see you honey."

I follow after the group in a mild daze. Everyone's assembling into one room, but I have no idea why. I tie my knots without missing a beat, letting my stress and confusion pour out through my fingers.

As we're in the crowd, I feel a nudge and someone says, "Finnick! How are you doing?"

I look down to see Katniss-though a more aged and weathered one than I remembered-and feel relief instantly at the familiar face. "Katniss." I grip her hands and cling to them for the feeling to stay. "Why are we meeting here?"

"I told Coin I'd be her Mockingjay. But I made her promise to give the other tributes immunity if the rebels won. In public, so there are plenty of witnesses."

Well that's a relief.

"Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she'll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it."

Katniss blinks and then gives me a smile, "Don't worry, I took care of it." She squeezes my hand and disappears without an explanation. A few moments later she returns and we listen to Coin give the spiel about Katniss's Mockingjay status as well as her controversial conditions. At the end, Coin adds something that touches a small nerve in the back of my head. It makes me uneasy, like maybe she's not to be trusted.

"...It follows that any deviance fom her mission, in either motive or deed, will be viewed as a break in this agreement. The immunity would be terminated and the fate of the four victors determined by the law of District Thirteen. As would her own. Thank you."

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"We've killed most of them already," Argen says as his guards drag a man in with a cover over his head. "But I wanted you to see this. And Finnick to see it, actually. So we have our little camera."

I see the red dot on the camera that tells me it's sucking the souls of the room in to be recorded forever. I stare at the man who's now on his knees and just pray that it isn't Stephen.

No, it's not Stephen. It's Finnick's friend and previous mentor, Tristan.

When the bag is pulled off his head I gasp as the bruises and contusions all over his face. His curly blonde hair is matted with dirt and blood. When he sees me, he looks shocked and then concerned.

"Annie?"

"Tristan."

I gently fold my hands around the bars and stare at him in a way that I hope conveys my sorrow for him. That his family is at home, probably wondering about him. His wife. His child. And just as I open my mouth to say so, Argen shoots him in the head.

"NO!" I scream, retreating from the bars. Tristan's body falls into a heap on the ground, blood snakes slithering away from his skull. Some come for my cell, while others find the drain. I cry because I know what he meant to people outside. What it means to have his light snuffed out. In the same fashion, another person is dragged into the room in front of Peeta's cell. The bag is removed and I recognize her face from the television.

Portia, Peeta's designer and Cinna's partner.

"And for you, dear Peeta."

"Portia, I'm sorry," is what he manages to say before she too is shot in the head. Watching the blood spray makes my stomach lurch and I'm sick for a moment, though I manage to contain it all into the toilet bin. They don't bother dragging anyone in to execute in front of Johanna. There's no one left she loves, and she's incoherent enough right now it wouldn't touch her the way it does Peeta and me. The bodies are dragged unceremoniously from the room, leaving a red trail, and I wonder how I'll tell Finnick about his friend's death. Assuming I see Finnick again. Which I might not. It seems more that way now than ever before.

No body is safe.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

They're filming Katniss's propo and I'm allowed on set. Hurray for me. I get to sneak around and look at technology. I'm even allowed to poke one of the cameras a few times before I hit a bad button and get my hand slapped. I decide to leave them alone. Then I see Katniss with all her new scarring and smudging and her uniform designed by the one and only Cinna. She sports a sick looking bow and her hair is messed up in just the right way. I can't imagine how the rest of the world will perceive this done up image of rebellion. I smile at her and say, "They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you."

Honestly, the filming goes horribly. Katniss's acting skills are some of the worst I've ever seen. And my goodness, the smoke machines.

"People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!"

It's all so ridiculous, so overdone. But I suppress my laughter incase anyone else liked it. Haymitch's voice over the intercom doesn't show as much restraint.

Still laughing we hear him say, "And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies."

After a long talk about how great Katniss is and what should be done instead, they decide to send her unscripted into combat. This excites me because I want to go too. I'm tired of sitting in Thirteen without a hint of fresh air or sunlight or excitement. I'm bored. I need to do something.

"I'm sorry, Finnick, but you can't go," Fulvia says with a hint of annoyance in her voice. No one likes to see a project they've worked hard on fail.

"But I have to! I need to do something!"

"You're too unstable, we can't be babysitting you and trying to get a performance out of that girl."

"I'll be fine, really. I'll behave. I just want to come."

"No, sorry."

"But I'll be fine!"

"Talk to Coin then."

I turn to say something, but she's already got her hand up. "Sorry Finnick. This is a Mockingjay mission only."

"But..."

"No buts."

I take a breath because I don't want to give up. "Can I at least ride in the hovercraft?"

She looks at me in annoyance and shakes her head. "Absolutely not, Soldier Odair."

I spin on my heels and pace around, trying to think of a solution. I need to do something. I have to.

Katniss. Yes, Katniss can help me.

I find her eventually, already leaving for the ship with that man named Boggs. My agitation has reached its peek and I storm up after her. "Katniss, they wont let me go! I told them I'd be fine, but they won't even let me ride in the hovercraft!"

She turns and takes me in for a moment. I stand there, waiting for a response. Then suddenly, a little too suddenly, she smacks her forehead.

"Oh, I forgot. It's this stupid concussion. I was supposed to tell you to report to Beetee in Special Weaponry. He's designed a new trident for you."

Trident?

The word resurfaces a part of me that used to fish with a trident every day of the week along side his father. And then the other part that wielded the same tool as a form of protection and weapon. I like the sound of the word. I like the way it makes me feel when I hear it.

"Really? What's it do?"

She smiles, "I don't know. But if it's anything like my bow and arrows, you're going to love it." Then she adds, "You'll need to train with it though."

Finally, something useful to do.

"Right. Of course. I guess I better get down there," I say.

I'm about to turn around when Katniss says, "Finnick?" I face her and she's got a suppressed grin on her face, "Maybe some pants?"

I look down and finally see myself the way others have been seeing me in this ridiculous nightgown. I mean I never embraces my Golden Boy fully, but no part of me would be caught dead looking like this. So I do what I do best when it comes to clothes. I rip it off.

"Why?" I ask in a sultry voice. "Do you find this-" I strike the most provocative pose I can imagine, giving her and Boggs a straight shot of my underwear and its contents, "distracting?"

Katniss bursts out laughing, looks at Boggs and sees his chagrin, and laughs harder. The elevator is about to close on her when she says, "I'm only human, Odair." I chuckle and as soon as they're gone I run to find myself some new clothes and then straight to Special Weaponry. I'm ready to start playing with my new toy.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

Again I'm lost on how long we've been here. But one day, quite suddenly, Argen comes crashing in with a group of men behind him. They come to a halt in front of Peeta's cell.

"Do you have any idea what your little girlfriend just did?" Argen demands, pointing a finger at Peeta. "She taped some bullshit propo announcing her as the symbol the rebellion. They're calling her the Mockingjay. It aired in every single district in Panem!" He's furious, I can tell by the way he's standing so stiff. "That doesn't sound like someone worried about your rescue Peeta, that sounds like a manipulated bitch bending over for the rebels."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Peeta snarls back. But Argen strikes the bars with the butt of his gun and leans in. "Listen here boy," he hisses, "If she's not going to come for you, we're going to make her wish she did."

In an instant they're in Peeta's cell, snapping shackles over his wrists and tearing off his shirt. One of the peacekeepers takes out a whip and the others yank on the chains until Peeta's nearly dangling by his wrists.

"Please don't," I beg them. But of course they never listen. At the sound of the first lash, I already want to retreat in on myself and die. I see the angry red mark it leaves on his back. And then the second. Then the third. The fourth.

When they hit nine, that's when Peeta really starts crying out in pain. And then at fifteen they let him down from the whipping only to be beaten and kicked as he screams and groans until he falls unconscious. He's so swollen and bloody I barely recognize him.

"That, my friends, is how you send a message," Argen says. With a snap of his fingers, he and his men are gone.

"Peeta, can you hear me? Peeta?"

He doesn't answer. I'm afraid he's dead but I see his finger move and know he's not. But he doesn't wake. Not for hours. And when he does he's so dazed and confused he just rolls himself painfully onto his cot and goes back to sleep. And that's when Argen returns.

"He's had enough," Johanna says firmly even though her voice has lost half it's volume. Argen goes easily into Peeta's cell and slips his arm around his shoulder and hauls him up.

"We need you to do an interview, so upsidaisy sunshine."

Peeta can barely keep his head up. "What?"

"Come on, Snow and you need to have a little chat."

And with that Peeta is dragged out and Johanna and I are left clueless as to what's going on. Well maybe she's not clueless. But I am. I can only hope there's some great purpose going on with these 'propos' that would mean they'd take priority over rescuing us. I can only hope they worked. I can only hope that the inspiration people are getting from these videos is worth it. So much that our lives are not as important as that of the Mockingjay's.