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26

His Head His Head His Head.

I was humiliated. In all the years I'd been doing this sort of thing, for the first time in a long time, I felt completely and utterly humiliated. Ivan and Snow's assignments ranged from challenging to disturbing, and then to have to pretend like I enjoyed it...

"Come back to bed sweet thing, I'm not through with you yet," purred the old woman in the velvety bed. Yes, she was quite old. And quite rich.

And quite...rambunctious.

If it weren't for an active imagination I don't think my body would have even physically let myself do this assignment. But with Annie and Troy recovering under the scant protection of a few bushes, I couldn't slack off. I had to forget how much I missed being with Annie, how much I missed holding her to me and feeling her skin and the salty-sweet smell of her hair. I had to channel the Golden Boy who had sex for pleasure and didn't care who he hurt.

"You got it," I chuckled, diving back into her sheets. This was especially humiliating for two reasons. One, I was wearing some underwear that she'd picked out herself. And two, she was taping it.

"Come here," she growled, yanking me violently on top of her. I looked down and saw the way her wrinkly, fat cheeks giggled with every movement. The veins and liver spots coloring her skin like little snakes and toadstools. Her pancake-style breasts deflated after nursing three children. And that goiter...

"Some wrong?" she asked, raking my skin with her long red nails. I shivered and closed my eyes, trying not to lose my focus.

Think of a better time, Fin. Get somewhere else.

No thoughts were coming to mind other than the length of the hair poking out of her mole. So I tried to make up a fake scenario, but much to my embarrassment and guilt, I thought of Lacy. Her curvy waist and smooth skin and bouncy blonde hair. I had to admit, if I was what everyone thought I was, Lacy would be my top choice. She was beautiful, flirty, smart, and just a little bit twisted. And yet, she was so oblivious and naive of the severity of her lifestyle, it was almost endearing.

"Atta' boy, keep going," the lady said encouragingly, like I was a pony or something. I was also a little surprised when her voice answered instead of Lacy's.

It's just because Annie's been gone for a while, your mind is trying to cope. Don't freak yourself out.

All the same, I switched to Estelle, my 'first.' She was the epitome of what everyone here thought was sexy. I felt less guilty if I imagined her. And I never thought about Annie in these situations because I felt like that insult her; it would be too filthy and impure.

"Finally!" the woman shouted, a content smile on her face, "that was worth waiting in line for."

I tried not to gag and got away, barely having time to put my clothes on before getting my next assignment. One thing is for sure, Snow was going to take me down if he could, and he wasn't going to play fair.

I crossed paths with Johanna Mason, who got to go home soon because both of her tributes had died, which was partially my fault. "I'll see you around," she said curtly, throwing me a stiff smile. I think she knew that I had something to do with it, she was a smart girl, how could she not?

"Goodbye Johanna, I hope you have a nice year. Maybe see you at a party."

"You know me," she joked before disappearing into an elevator. I smiled and then walked outside to be picked up for my next girl.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"How are you feeling?" Troy asked through the dark. I moaned and reached out for his hand, snuggling it into my face. I didn't care who or what it was at this point, I needed creature comfort or my mind would just explode.

"How are you feeling?" I murmured. He made a abrupt sound that told me his answer was the same as mine.

Like shit.

I reached up and felt his forehead, frowning at the fever I detected there. Had I not used enough disinfectant? Why was he feverish? The anthem played and the deaths of the day lit up the sky.

"How many are left?" I asked quietly.

"Eight."

"Including us?"

"Yep. Us, Gerod and Samantha from One, Jenna from Two, and the boy from Nine, Wyatt or something like that. And two others but I don't know their names."

I nodded and closed my eyes. "Why can't you just let me die?" I said longingly. I was sick of being in pain, everything I did sent new waves of it up and down my body. I couldn't take too much more of this.

"Oh, you know," he sighed, playing with the end of my hair, "then who would be left to sing around the camp?"

"What? I don't sing..."

"Uh, yes you do. All the time. Especially if you're cooking. It's just a little hum, but I'd get lonely without it."

Weird, how I never realized I did that. I wondered if Finnick had ever noticed me humming.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Finnick, what are you doing?" I asked, pushing my way in cautiously through a glass door. Finnick was on a couch with his arms wrapped about a faceless girl, their naked bodies intertwined.

"You know what I'm doing Annie. I got tired while you were in the games, so I got a new girl to keep me company."

I felt my heart start to break down and tears stream down my face. "Fin..."

"Don't Fin me. We're done, Annie. I don't love you."

I whimpered and leaned against the doorway. "Don't do this, I need you."

He stood up and walked towards me, a cruel look on his face. As soon as he got close, his eyes turned yellow and he sunk his teeth into my neck.

"Augh!" I gasped, sitting straight up. Troy was snoring beside me on the muddy earth, clearly having adjusted to my nightmare routine. His new make-shift spears were piled around him for his own comfort. How could I sleep all night and wakeup feeling so drained?

"No, no, please don't!" It was a girls voice coming from the river bank. I froze with my fingers digging into Troy's shoulder. He opened his eyes and I pressed my finger to his lips so that he'd stay silent.

"It's down to eight Jenna, and I'm sorry, but loyalty to one's district trumps all," Gerod's voice cut across the air. Troy's eyes grew big and he slowly-painfully-sat up.

"I can be of more help to you than her," the girl pleaded. I peeked through a break in the leaves just so I could see the scene play out. A girl with sandy-blonde hair was cowering on the riverbed while Gerod loomed above her with a menacing hooked machete.

"Sorry."

He plunged the hook into her through and tore it out, the canon firing a second later. My heart was thudding so loud I thought maybe he could hear me. That girl...that poor girl...

Look at all that blood on the flowers. Blood makes such a pretty red, does it not?

I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. Another girl came through the trees who I assumed was his partner Samantha. "Is it done?" she asked, rolling Jenna over with her foot.

"Of course, it's done."

"We should clear out then, try and find those two idiots from Four..."

Blood was running from the dead girl's neck and into the river, disappearing into the sweeping water. I watched it, I was almost intrigued by it. Something in my mind seemed to be vibrating so that nothing made sense. A purple light fell on world and my feet turned cold, how enchanting that color is...

"Hey, Samantha, look!"

I blinked and snapped my head up, suddenly realizing I was standing in the river.

What the-

"Annie!"

Troy's voice cut across the confusion and I registered the two very large people running at me. I tried to run away, but my leg screamed in protest and I collapsed into the mud. Troy came sprinting out of the bushes with his make-shift spears in hand and made a beeline for Gerod and Sam.

"TROY RUN!" I screamed, throwing a wad of mud at him. My heart was in my throat.

Thud thud thud thud.

Where was my fight? Why couldn't I help him? I was stuck here to the mud, maybe I was the mud. I could just live here forever with the frogs and the weeds, being stepped on, wiped off, and forgotten.

I looked up so see Troy burry his spear in Samantha's stomach. She retched and swung at him, but Gerod reached out and grabbed the scruff of his neck and threw him far enough that he landed close to me.

"Troy," I whispered shakily, "You've got to run, okay? I can't, my leg won't work, but you have a chance. Please go..."

He looked at me for a second, then reached up and landed a quick kiss on my lips before taking off again. That kiss reminded me of Finnick and suddenly I was full of despair, knowing I'd never see him again. I'd die here, and he would move on. I missed him so much.

"Augh!" I heard a male's voice yell. I looked up to see Gerod holding a wound on his arm. Sam was off to the side nursing her injury, so it was just Gerod on Troy. But something was wrong, Troy wasn't holding his spear correctly.

Then I realized the bite he sustained on his shoulder from the wolves had opened up again and was bleeding straight through the bandage. At this rate, Gerod would kill him injured or not.

"No!" I don't really know what I was expecting to happen if Troy and I lived up to the last two, but I couldn't let him die here. Digging my hands into the muck, and clutched several stones and started throwing them at Gerod's head.

"Leave him alone!" I shouted hoarsely. I think that he actually smiled at me.

This is too much, I can't handle this.

Suddenly Gerod twisted Troy's arm, knocked him to his knees, and with one swift movement of his machete, cut straight through his neck.

And the whole entire world went dark.

A ringing started in my ears first. Then the trees twisted into the air like spirals, the ground felt like it was falling. The water in the river...it was blood. There was so much blood. The sky was enflamed with it. And Troy's lifeless, headless body laying in front of me, orchestrating the symphony of red around me. My mind was going to explode.

People don't explode.

I was. I'm going to explode with this ringing anguish swelling in my head. I was going to go BANG like the canon did when Troy died. I tried to move but my whole body was shaking. Was I screaming? It felt like I was screaming...only silently. Why couldn't I scream out loud?

"What's wrong, little girl?" Gerod's voice echoed through my mind. I looked up from the bloody riverbank and saw his terrifying face, contorted and stained with crimson. His eyes were yellow like a wolf's and his teeth were sharp as fangs. He was so tall....like those weird trees...

I saw the flash of the light on his knife and the sky turned back to a bluish white. But the world looked like it was a reflection on the water. "What?" he asked, leaning closer to me.

Thud thud thud thud.

What was that? My heart?

My heart pumping blood.

That's not possible, all the blood is in the river.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Are you upset about, THIS?" Gerod lifted Troy's head by the hair and shook it in front of me. I screamed.

I screamed because his blue eyes were still open.

I screamed because Gerod was pulling his hair.

I screamed because his mouth was open agape like he was trying to breath.

And I screamed at the frayed, bloody flesh flapping from his severed neck.

But was I really screaming or was it just my mind screaming?

"COME ON, GIVE HIM A KISS!" Gerod yelled, pushing Troy's head in my face. Blood spewed from the open end and splattered all over my arms and face.

"STOP IT!" I bawled, clamping my hands over my ears. I couldn't take it, the sound was in my head. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.

I shouldn't have blood when all of Troy's was gone. And his head was there in front of me. The world was spinning.

His blood was on me and Troy was dead and his head his head his head.

Spinning spinning spinning.

Gerod, The Monster, laughed crazily and pinned me down, stepping on my hurt leg. The fire it sent up my body sort of tickled. Then his sat on my stomach and shoved Troy's cold, lifeless face against mine.

No no no no NO NO NO NO NO!

I opened my mouth and really screamed. I screamed straight from my heart and out my mouth. If I was lucky, maybe I'd scream my heart out and then I'd die. Troy's face was still against mine and when I screamed little droplets of his blood would land on my tongue which just made me scream more. Have I ever been so loud?

I had evil on me. I had to get it off. I reached out for a rock and swung, the solid chunk of it finding a home against bone. The Monster fell off of me and took Troy's head with it. I crawled until my hands landed in the water and then I jumped, hoping the blood would carry me to the heart and I would live there forever away from the Monster.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

I could just imagine what Pearl was going to do to me, and I was going to let her. I should have let her die. This never should have happened. Why was I so selfish?

Her screams echoed through my head and I thought that maybe I was going insane too.

"Annie," I moaned, closing my eyes, "I'm so sorry..."

She was in the water now, flapping her arms around to keep her head up. I thought about her leg and how much danger she was in, but it was almost a relief. Drowning might remind her of home and give her her mind back or something.

"Finnick, it's going to be alright," Mags assured me, though there was doubt in her voice.

"They took her from me," I choked, "They didn't kill her yet but they tortured her just like Pearl said, and now she's gone."

Mags sighed and pulled out a slip of paper, crumpling it in my hand.

"Annie wrote this before she left," she told me, "you might as well read it now."

I wiped the blurriness from my eyes and looked down at her loopy script.

Dear Finnick,

There's not a lot to say. But I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and no matter what happens I'm going to love you. If I don't come out of this, go home, and forget me. If I do come out of this, no doubt it's thanks to you, and I'm never going to leave. I'm going to love the way your eyes get squinty in the morning, the way you always eat with that stupid crooked fork, and the way you play with my hair right before we fall asleep. I'm going to love you because you're alive, even if you've moved passed me. That's a promise. So, good-bye.

For now,

Annie.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

The blood spun me and twirled me and swallowed me and then spit me back out. It tasted like water though, so I drank it.

A tree reached out its arms and snagged me, so I crawled up onto the bank.

Hide, Annie! Hide from the Monster!

I took off, my eyes set on the houses with the white shingles. Something was slowing my pace but I kept moving, crawling and rolling if I fell. At one point a saw a bird and it said hello and I laughed. But then it's eyes got yellow so I screamed and kept running.

Thud thud thud thud.

I hate that sound.

I found a house I wanted to hide in. There was still some scraps of stairs left that carried me up to the top floor where I crawled into the corner and hugged my knees to my chest.

"Troy is dead. I saw his head. Troy is dead, I saw his head..." I chanted, rocking myself back and forth. I took my fingernails and tried to scratch off the blood that had caked to my skin, but it didn't want to work. So I cried and asked it to go away, but it still wouldn't. It wanted to live on my skin so it could eat me.

But here in the shadow of the house I could hide from the Monster. I could hear the thud thud thud of his heart and could hear his evil weapon dragging in the dirt behind him, digging up the earth's flesh. He wouldn't find me here, I was hiding. This is where I'd stay. There was five monsters running around out there, and I wasn't going to let them get me.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Get her out," I said curtly. Ivan was sitting in his office with a smug look on his face. "I did everything that you said, now get her out. That was the deal."

"We never said anything about what you would get in exchange for your obedience," he responded simply, "just what would happen if you weren't."

I slammed my hands down on his desk in frustration. Ivan moved his pen cup out of the way with a raised eyebrow. "Besides Mr. Odair, do you really even want her anymore? Damaged as she is I can't imagine she would be able to perform half as well as those available to you here."

"Excuse me?"

"She's not going to satisfy your needs anymore, she's a broken girl. You would do better to throw her away and forget about whatever mystical hold she has on you."

"Don't talk about Annie like that," I hissed, the rage boiling into my limbs. "Don't ever speak that way about her again."

"Whatever you wish."

"I wish to get her out of there so she can get the help she needs."

"That is out of my hands, sorry. Oh, and here's your new assignments."

My anger boiled over and I slapped the stack of papers out of his hand, sending the listed sheets across the office floor. Ivan blinked at me, but his face was void of expression save for a tiny delighted gleam in his disgusting eyes.

"Pick them up."

It wasn't a question, but warning. Shame and humiliation filled my face because I knew I had to do it, and he knew I knew it too. I got down on my knees and picked up the sheets, rolled them up, and left the office.

"Finnick-" Mags called out to me as I stormed passed. I paused only a minute to say;

"Mags, if that Gerod guy wins, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to saw his head off with a butter knife and then wave it around for the world to see."

"I think you need to take a break, honey."

I brushed her off and went to my room, throwing myself onto the bed.

You're going to lose it all.

How right you were, Carson.