18

She Crept Up On Me

About four years later, shortly after the Sixty-Ninth Hunger Games.

"Nice to have you back for a while," Crest sighed, kicking a rock around in front of her. Brye and Dawn were holding hands a lot these days, so I walked somewhere between Crest and Martin.

"Yeah, sorry, it's been sort of busy in the Capitol lately."

Martin laughed and slapped me on the back. When did his hands get so big? "Yeah, busy. Just for once, can you bring one of those girls home for me?"

I chuckled and rolled my shoulder to stop the stinging. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Market place," Dawn rang from behind, "I need to get something for my mom's birthday dinner. And you two boys need to sign up for the next fishing trip or the peacekeepers are going to have your heads."

The two boys groaned miserably, "Augh, my hands haven't healed since the last one," Martin grumbled, showing me his scabbed-over blisters. I winced for his sake because I didn't want to be the kind of guy that reminds my friend I've been sliced open a few times whenever he shows me a tiny cut. It was around dinner time, so all the marketers were sitting behind their booths with bored faces stuffed with fish sandwiches and clam soup.

"Here Dawn," Martin said, reaching into a wooden bucket, "would your mother like...a LOBSTER?"

He whipped the massive lobster from the water and held it straight in front of her nose. She squealed as it spread out its legs and claws like some sort of demented red spider. I burst out laughing, and couldn't blame her a bit for screaming. With its beady little black eyes and wiggly feelers, it looked as crazy as something created in the Capitol. A tall peacekeeper with a broad chest walked up behind Martin with his arms crossed. When he spun around, he was so surprised he almost dropped the lobster.

"Oh...sorry, I was just playing..."

Martin went to go put the creature back slowly, his eyes trained on the peacekeeper's stern face. Once we heard the small ploop of confirmation, we shuffled away and tried not to draw attention to ourselves even though we were snickering. Martin forced Brye to sign up for a shift on the Amelia Seabourn Vessel, even though it technically didn't need any more hands.

"Why do you want this one so badly?" Brye complained, scribbling his name on the bottom line of the list.

"Because it's Amelia Seabourn's ship! She might be a withered old lady now, but her granddaughters are gorgeous. Have you seen them? Gorgeous."

Brye rolled his eyes and latched himself back onto Dawn's hand, "I don't really care," he replied, throwing her a wink. I envied the two of them a little bit, with their easy, uncomplicated relationship. If they wanted to see each other, they would. If they didn't, they had the choice not to. For all the years I've spent hanging around women, very few of them I actually wanted to see. I couldn't say I didn't have a little bit of fun; thanks to years of practice in both technique and the ability to numb my own mind, I finally found my life to be tolerable. With Annie's advice, I didn't hate myself after every night I didn't spend alone because I'd come to terms with the fact that that was just the way things were, and I couldn't change it. Oh well. I had my friends, the letters from my mother, the occasional meals eaten with Mags and other Victors who understood what I was going through. I learned I wasn't the only one who was playing prostitute in the Capitol for the rich and powerful. The blonde twins were just a step under me in popularity, as a matter of fact. They used to be more popular, but in light of my recent 'filling out', my ratings have gone nowhere but up. Even my friends and people I've spent my whole life growing up around couldn't stop themselves from staring at me.

Still, I couldn't always suppress the part of me that just wanted to hold hands with a girl from home, one that smelled like salt and knew all the same folk songs that I did. I couldn't stop wanting what Dawn and Brye had found in each other. I remembered how I thought of her that first night with Estelle and internally reprimanded myself as we walked by the tables of pretty sea glass jewelry. The girls grazed it with their eyes and then moved on so we wouldn't tease them. Once Dawn had picked out some fruit and vegetables for her mom's dinner, we made our way to the path that ran along the beach where people would carry in baskets of miscellaneous items off the beach. The sun was setting, making everything around us glow pink.

Shortly after we started on the path, I caught a glimpse of Annie picking shells out of the sand and dropping them into a big basket. She and Echo made nets and shell jewelry now to earn a little bit of their own living instead of constantly relying on Pearl. She was wearing the dress she'd worn so many years ago to her sister's wedding; it was faded and a little lackluster now. Not to mention a little frayed on the bottom which was shorter on her now than it was when she bought it. I remember the day she tore off the sash and tied a thin chorded rope around her waist instead, saying that it was too dressy with the silky ribbon and it just wasn't practical. I guess it had stretched out some too, because it was still billowy and draped easily over her more developed body. Her hair had grown out some now too. I waved hello, the string of shells around my wrist clinking in the wind. She figured out it was me and then smiled and waved back, accidentally sending the sand from her shells through the air. I laughed and turned back to my friends.

"Wow," Martin said appreciatively, "Is that really Annie Cresta? She's beautiful."

I snapped my face back to look at Annie, who had resumed her sweeping of the beach for shells. I don't know what it was, but Martin's comment hit me like a slap in the face.

Annie? Beautiful?

Yeah, I suppose she is. She'd grown up, but since I saw her so often and it happened so gradually I guess I hadn't noticed. But now I could see it. She wasn't beautiful the way Pearl was, with perfect proportions and soft edges. No, Annie looked unique. Her eyes were a little further apart than normal and flashed green with a dreamy sparkle to them I didn't see anywhere else. Her hair was long and thick and wavy, the color of chestnuts that shone in the pink sunlight. And now I could see what my mother meant when she said Annie had a 'moon face;' her cheekbones were high and smoothed over, and her chin was small, it gave her face a moon-like quality to it. But mostly I loved her round funny lips with the little dimple missing from the top one, the pale freckles that scattered across her nose, and her long eyelashes that framed her strange eyes like little wings. So suddenly Annie was beautiful to me?

Yes, absolutely.

Then what was wrong with me? Why is there this sick feeling in my stomach?

Because I don't like other people noticing it before I do.

"Who would have thought another Cresta would turn out to be so good looking?"

"Shut it, Martin," I said a little too harshly. He cocked an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms, "What's the matter Fin? I thought you and Annie were 'just friends'?"

"Yeah...we...I just don't like you leering at her."

"I'm not leering at her, I'm just appreciating the view."

Annie was standing up straight and looking right at us, and even from the distance I could tell the exact 'what the heck are you guys looking at' expression on her face. What was coming over me? Had I really been that blind to my feelings regarding Annie until someone else expressed a desire for her? Was I really that shallow?

"Well, then...I don't know. Stop it."

Martin chuckled and held out his hands, "Alright, alright. Let's go then, Loverboy."

We moved on and I found myself reluctant to leave without her. Maybe it was just the atmosphere? My emotional turmoil from being around happy couple 'Brawn' all day? But no, I suppose it wasn't. Annie had, after all, been there for me since day one. She's the only one I dared to share my secret about the prostitution with, she's also the only one I knew that would still stick around after learning something like that. She rebuilt me, she made me better. She was a friend when I needed a friend, and a caretaker for my mother when I couldn't be. It appears lovely Annie Cresta had been right in front of me this whole time and it wasn't until now I realized how lost I'd be if she wasn't.

Annie, it appears, has crept up on me.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

(A week later.)

"Fin, you look sort of sick, are you sure you're okay?" I asked, staring apprehensively at the him. Even a striking complexion couldn't hide the greenish tint his face had taken on, and heavy bags loomed under his eyes like bruises. Not only that, but every movement he made just seemed sort of sluggish.

"I'm...okay." I reached out to feel his forehead, but he pushed my hand away, "It's alright Annie, really. Just go swimming for a while or something, I'll stay here and warm up in the sun."

I frowned and tried to look him in the eyes, but he shut his and laid back against the hot sand. "Suit yourself," I sighed at last, taking off the thin shawl-scarf I had draped over my shoulders to stop them from burning. I tucked it into Fin's hand so that it wouldn't blow away and then dove into the water, relinquishing every tension the second my skin broke through the surface. I didn't like this sick Finnick, he was not very exciting company. With all the time he spent at the Capitol, flexing his muscles and kissing those girls, I barely got to see him as much as I used to. And now my quality time was being tainted; I found it to be sort of irritating. But the water took that all away and I focused on the coral and the bright fish, reaching out gently to stroke their fins before they darted away.

I wonder what it's like in other districts, without the ocean there?

I marveled at how my white dress wafted around me with the small currents of the waves overhead. How was it that everything could just be so spectacular under the water?

Eventually I felt bad about leaving Fin on the beach alone, so I got out. When I reached the sandy bank, I wiped the saltwater from my eyes and looked up to see Finnick staring at me.

"What?" I asked self-consciously. I looked down at my body to see if my dress was out of position, but everything was covered. A little more revealing now that it was soaked through, but I'd gone swimming with him lots of times before and he never stared. We were used to this, everyone in District Four was. Nudity was just really not that much of a taboo. But he just smirked a little and shook his head, laying back down on the sand.

How annoying of him.

"Feeling any better?" I tried again, sitting down next to him. He moaned and covered his face, which I took to mean no. I was just letting the sun dry my hair when a guy walked up to me with a big fish slung over his shoulder.

"Hey there pretty lady, what's your name?" he asked with a toothy grin. He was sort of handsome, nothing compared to the slightly incapacitated yet still chiseled Greek god next to me, but still, handsome. And more than that, practical. While Fin? Well, he was sort of an impossibility, what with being the handsomest young man in the world or something like that.

"Hello, I'm Annie Cresta. And you?"

He shook my hand and grinned wider, "Chance Liwater. Pleased to meet you, Annie. Would you care to take a walk?"

I think I was just a little too shy and a little too friendly for situations like this. While the whole idea of it made the bashful side of me cringe, the nice side of me was unwilling to reject him, whether I wanted to or not. And in truth, I sort of didn't want to reject him, but be that as it may, I had a sick friend tied to me at the moment.

"I can't right now, sorry. But I'm here often, so some other time?" I offered, smiling lightly at him. He glanced at the sick Fin-who was worryingly motionless beside me-and then nodded.

"Sounds perfect. Til another day," he said graciously, kissing my cheek and starting to walk away.

"Hey, don't just go kissing random girls you don't know, you little-"

Well, suddenly Fin was alive. Chance slowed down and turned his head to look at him with a creased eyebrow.

"Fin, he was just saying good-bye. That's what people do here, it wasn't a real kiss..." I hissed, grabbing his arm firmly. He begrudgingly relaxed and turned his head back facing in front of him. I mouthed an apology to Chance and waved him on before returning to the situation at hand. "What has gotten in to you?"

He looked miserable and shrugged, "I'm sorry. I don't know...I'm sick. When I looked up it just looked like he was kissing you like out of the blue..."

A part of me sort of wanted to blush, but I suppressed it and patted his hair, "Alright, sure."

We sat there in the sun for a little while longer, but then I decided I needed to go back home and help out a little. But when Finnick stood up, all the remaining color drained from his face and he's knees shook, threatening to give out.

"Whoa, easy," I gasped, wrapping my arms around him. He was sort of slumping over and I didn't want him to pass out and land on his face, "You must be sicker than I thought...when was the last time you had something to drink?"

He groaned and shrugged, "I don't know...not for a while."

"How long is a while?"

"Um...yesterday?"

Oh you stupid, stupid boy.

"Finnick, what's the matter with you? It's no wonder you're passing out, you're completely dehydrated," I scolded, pulling his arm around my shoulder so I could help him walk, "Honestly sometimes I have no idea how you won those Games."

I half walked, half dragged him to my house. By the time I reached the front door, I was ready to collapse myself. Echo took us in with a bemused expression and then helped me get him up the stairs. We put him in my bed and put a damp cloth on his forehead before trying to force-feed him some water. How did he let himself get into such a state? Yesterday he was with me and he said his stomach only hurt a little bit, I had no idea I was going to have to carry him from the beach the next day.

In the evening I ventured back upstairs with a pitcher of water in hand, hoping he'd be in a better state than before. I knocked lightly before just letting myself in, finding him asleep in the same position as before.

"Finnick, wake up. You've got to drink some more," I said gently, shaking his shoulder. He's eyes cracked open and then found me face, opening a little bit more.

"What?" he said groggily, as if nothing made sense. I held up the pitcher with enough enthusiasm to cause some of it to slosh out onto the floor.

"Whoops."

He cracked a smile and moved into a sitting position, "Here, I can do it myself."

I let him drink his fill and sat down at the foot of the bed, wiggling his toes through the blanket until he eventually gave me a light kick, "That. Tickles."

I grinned devilishly and snatched my hand away, "So sorry."

He chuckled and put down the pitcher, "No you're not."

"Maybe not," I shrugged, "You're really not well enough to do anything about it."

We laughed for a while, and I could see the color coming back to his face.

"You're looking a lot better now," I told him, feeling his forehead. No fever or anything.

"I am feeling better. Turns out sleep and water go a long way."

We chatted some more I decided he needed to sleep a little bit longer. Plus, I sort of just wanted him to stick around. Before I left though, he reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Annie, wait."

Something in his voice made my heart speed up. What was he going to say?

'Hey I just want you to know I'm going to be a father.'

'Hey I appreciate all you've done for me, but I don't think we should be friends anymore.'

'I'm moving to the Capitol...'

"What?"

He didn't let go of my wrist, but his face dropped, giving it a sincere effect. "I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me for these past few years, even though you know...what you know."

What the heck is wrong with him?

"Oh, Fin. I think you really need to get some sleep..."

He shook his head, but he did look dizzy to me. "Can you just tell me why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you stayed."

Oh I don't know, because I'm hopeless?

I kissed him on the cheek and patted his head affectionately, "Because I'm a basket case, Honey." I left because in truth I couldn't tell him. I was sweet and shy Annie Cresta with no parents and an older sister everyone thinks is the most beautiful. I wasn't exotic, interesting, or particularly stunning. I couldn't tell the Great Finnick Odair, the Golden Boy, the truth about why I stuck by him this whole time. What with his perfect jawline, his flawless cheekbones, the ocean-green eyes, bronze messy hair, and sculpted body. No, I couldn't tell the truth. Because then I would lose him, I was almost sure of it. Now if I knew what was good for me I'd be completely sure of it, but I couldn't trump that hope-that small, tiny, ounce of hope that was sapping the life out of my sense of reality.

I went down stairs and sat down at the table while Pearl sat on a stool in the kitchen, waiting for something to get done baking. Pearl and I had reached an understanding; I treated her occasional rendezvous like I did Finnick's life in the Capitol back before I knew the truth. I just acted as if it wasn't happening and it made everything a lot more civil between me and my sister. We love each other, always have and always will, but it's nicer not to have a big blow out fight once a month.

A few hours passed. Echo got bored and left to find her friends. I checked on Finnick, but he was sleeping again so I left. Pearl was still in the kitchen and I started to notice her bored disposition getting anxious, alluding to the pre-wedding jitters she used to get. The house was getting colder too because the sun was going down, which just created more tension.

"Pearl...are you okay?"

That's when Raff came ripping through the doorway. Pearl leapt up and her face transformed into a complete snarl. The man's face was red and sweaty with anger and his chest heaved up and down as if he'd been running for some time. I remembered him-the man who came before the wedding and upset my sister. The 'older' friend. My hands stiffened against the table and I watched them with wide, unblinking eyes.

"I thought I told you to meet me," he slurred, pointing at Pearl with an unsteady hand.

Drunk, I thought, very drunk.

Pearl's eyebrows creased over her eyes and she took a stance as if she were a cat, ready to strike. "And I told you to leave me alone."

Raff laughed and looked around the room to see if anyone else was, "Oh, that's rich. I don't remember asking."

He took a step forward and Pearl immediately tensed and reached for a pan hanging over the sink. "Get away from me. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Stephen...where are you?

"I can't do that," Raff chuckled, taking another step closer to her, "I haven't gotten what I came for."

Pearl swung at his outstretched hand, which only made him laugh more. "You are such a feisty little firecracker, aren't you?"

"Go away!" Pearl barked, raising the pan over her head. Raff patted his stomach as he gurgled to himself and then turned, his eyes locking right on me. My blood froze and every hair on my body stood on end.

"Hello, Beautiful."

He lunged at me and there was nothing I could do to resist him. Pearl was shrieking and crashing over things in the background as he pulled me into the neighboring room with his hand digging into my mouth. We twisted around just in time to see Pearl bringing to pan down when the door slammed shut and locked, the sound of the impact against the wood resounding in my ears.

And that's when I really started to panic. Pearl was screaming and banging on the door outside, but I was trapped in here with him. He let go of my mouth and I took the opportunity to scream and kick him in the shins, stumbling over myself to get to the window. If I could only get to the window...

"I don't think so."

He grabbed me by the ankle, which caused me to trip and slam my head against the windowsill. My wrist got caught underneath me and twisted painfully as he dragged me back across the floor. I screamed again and tried to kick, but he had a firm grip. When he let go I stood up, hoping to run for it or open the door, but his fist bore into my ribs, knocking all the wind out of me. "Hey Pearl," he sang drunkly, "I've gotcher sister and there's nothin' you can do about it!" Three blows to the abdomen and I was on the ground, just trying to get air back in my lungs. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and my eyes watered with the exertion and the wreak seeping off of Raff's skin.

"Come here, you," he growled, pulling me back up by the hair. My ribs seared with pain, causing me to yelp involuntarily.

"Annie?" I heard Finnick's voice call through the door, "Annie!"

"Finnick HELP ME!" I screamed as the man pressed me up against his chest. He slammed his hand over my mouth and drove me into the wall. I held up my hand to push his face away, but he grabbed it and twisted my injured wrist even more. I wanted to cry, to scream, but I couldn't.

"Kiss me," Raff slurred, pouring his alcoholic smog breath into my mouth. I almost gagged when suddenly we were crashing to the floor. Finnick was over top of Raff, pinning him down to the wood. He punched him multiple times with that red angry face I saw in the arena nearly five years ago. Then Pearl was at his side and placed a hand on his back to stop him.

"Wait," she said in a determined voice, "I want to do it."

Finnick looked between her and Raff and once at me, then got up to let Pearl in on the action. Raff just moaned and rolled over, holding his face, when Pearl delivered a swift, sound kick straight between his legs. He bellowed a ridiculous, drunken wail and curled up, calling us all assorted names. Finnick grabbed the man by his scruff and threw him straight through the front door so he crashed face first into the dirt.

"Good riddance!" Pearl shouted after him. Her inane temper was in full swing, so I watched her pick up the broom and thrash him with it as he struggled to run away. I hadn't moved from my spot on the floor the whole time and from down there I couldn't help but notice how attractive it was to have Finnick come in to protect me. Now that Raff was gone and he'd alerted authorities to arrest him, all his attention turned to me.

"Annie..." he said, kneeling down in front of me, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, though in reality I was in a lot of pain. But I didn't want to worry them...or burden them. So I kept my ribs and wrist problems to myself. Those I could cover up easily enough while they healed. As for any bumps on my head, there's no talking out of those.

"I'm okay."

Fin's face was creased with concern as his hands gently brushed over my forehead, searching for abnormalities. I winced when he got to the spot I hit on the windowsill and his face turned red with anger.

"I'm going to tear that man apart," he snarled. I shook my head and then looked up to see Pearl standing above us, looking dismal.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She was shaking slightly and had her arms folded protectively over her chest.

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm fine. Just a few bruises. He didn't do anything serious."

She nodded and focused on some other part of the room so she could tune out and be alone in her thoughts. I turned my attention back to Fin who was staring at the welt on my head. "It's no big deal Finnick, he didn't even hit me. I tripped and hit my head off the windowsill, but I'm alive."

I don't know why I was lying. But the shy part of me and the caring part of me teamed up, because I didn't want them to get more upset and I also didn't want them to drown me in concern because he had hit me. So lying was easier.

He shook his head, "It's just that...I mean like, this was my one chance to help you, and you still got hurt. It's just frustrating that I can't measure up."

"Finnick," I whispered, using a choice tone, "it's never been a competition. You don't owe me anything."

He smiled sadly and then stood, signifying the end of the conversation. He offered me his hand, and asked, "Can you stand up?"

I let him pull me up and support me in case I lost my balance or something. While I did ache a lot, I don't think I needed him to hold me up. But I was kind of enjoying his attention, so I let it happen anyway. He walked me up the stairs and back into my room, where I could see the trail he left behind while apparently frantically trying to get downstairs. My vase was knocked off the nightstand and the blankets were pulled as far as the door. I laughed a little and then stopped, hoping he didn't notice my wince.

"Yeah...sorry about that. I woke up to a lot of screaming and just kind of panicked."

"I think, seeing as you broke down the door and rescued me, I'll forgive it. Just this once."

He grinned and squeezed my shoulder, "Oh, good."

Pearl came up a moment later with some ice wrapped in a cloth, "Here," she said, plopping it in my hand, "put this on your head."

While I did, Finnick decided that he wanted to go make sure the authorities had Raff in custody and then go home. He kissed me and Pearl on the cheek, promised to check up on things tomorrow, and then left. When the door was shut all the light pretences my sister and I had put up completely fell.

"Pearl, who was that guy?"

"Raff."

I waited for her to go on, so she sighed and folded her arms tightly across her chest again; "When our parents died, I had to do a lot of awful things to keep us alive and out of the streets. Echo was practically a baby and you...well, it's just, you're so fragile, Annie. I had to protect you guys and so I did what I had to do."

I looked at her carefully, because it was weird that this didn't surprise me. "You aren't still...you know..."

"No," she shook her head, "No, but Raff...he never really forgot about me. I guess I understand your friend a little better than you thought."

Friend? Oh, Fin? But she didn't know...

Well I suppose it wouldn't be too hard to figure out.

I pursed me lips and waited to see if she had anything more to say for herself. She looked at me as if searching my eyes for something, probably checking to see if I was judging her yet. "I do love Stephen, just so you know. This marriage wasn't all about the money or the shelter. I mean, at first it was. You didn't realize how desperate we were, you had no idea how close I was to losing you two to the orphanage. We were going to starve...but, Stephen provided everything. He gave us fish and fruit and got me a connection in the market so I could make fishing nets and get paid so I could keep our dinky little hut. But he's so smart and genuine, I couldn't help but fall in love with him..."

"And the other boys?" I asked, a sour tint to my voice.

She blushed and tightened her arms, "I never said I was a good person. But I'm trying."

We parted after that. I stayed in my room and iced my ribs and wrist and head while she worked on cleaning up the mess until Stephen came home. I tried not to think about young Pearl, roaming the streets in search of someone...anyone that would take her while Echo and I were at home sleeping. I was about the age now that she was when she took over for the family...but I couldn't fathom going out and doing what she did. But then again, she was right, I am fragile. Pearl was meant to be strong. But how sad the life of my older sister was, and I never even knew it.

I was surprised that I wasn't scared by what happened today. It was almost like it didn't happen, except for the physical evidence. It was just some bizarre phenomenon that happened when my world and Pearl's world intersected at the wrong spots. No, when I finally decided to sleep, the only thought in my mind was Finnick, how he looked when he came crashing into the room and took Raff out. How it made me blush when I thought of how angry he was, just because someone had hurt me. I suppose a friend or brother would have acted like that...so I couldn't get too excited...but I couldn't stop myself from hoping that a little bit of that emotion was inspired by something a bit more.

And that's why I wasn't the least bit angry when I woke up to Finnick coming quietly through my door later that night, when everything was dark except the moon. I was, however, a little surprised.

"What are you doing," I whispered, trying to see him through the dark. He threw me an apologetic smile and took a few steps closer.

"Well, I'm alone in my house and I couldn't help but feel bad that I left you alone after what happened today. So I thought I'd just come back and stand guard so you can sleep...or something."

I laughed embarrassedly and was thankful for the darkness that hid my red face. "Okay then," I responded, "Stay as long as you'd like."

He hopped onto the bed beside me, keeping a safe distance and sitting up with his back against the dashboard, staring out the window. Now that my eyes had adjusted I could see the striking way the moon hit his facial features.

I wonder exactly how many other girls have noticed the same thing.

"Go to sleep, Annie," Fin told me, his eyes still fixated out the window, "You're safe." It startled me a little, but then I settled down deep into the covers and closed my eyes. His body was radiating heat beside me, and I found it to be comforting but my thoughts still wouldn't settle. It wasn't until Finnick started playing with my hair that my mind let me sink into sleep.