16

The Black Flag

"Ivan! I have a bone to pick with you," I shouted, seeing him across the room. I'd just said good-bye to Dinzil and Jonas and now it was time to address my problem.

"Oh, whatever is the matter?" he asked innocently. He sounded like such a sadistic little snob whenever he talked. I walked up to him and poked his chest with my finger.

"These 'assignments' have gone way too far. She took me to her house last night and..."

He raised his eyebrows, "And?"

"Things happened that I didn't want to happen. I'm not doing this anymore and I expect that there's going to be some sort of apology for forcing me to go into a stranger's home completely unprotected."

Ivan started laughing and patted my shoulder, "An apology? Oh that's rich."

Anger was boiling up inside of me, "Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in now? You'll never have a job again."

He stopped laughing, but kept that oh-so endearing smile, "Wrong, boy."

"As soon as-"

"I've done my job. Rather beautifully, if I do say so myself."

I stopped and looked at him. What was happening?

"I don't understand."

"Are you really that dense?"

He was insulting me. Why was he insulting me? I should be insulting him! "I-"

"Listen, boy. You think you're free, but you're not. We own you; the Capitol owns you. If we tell you to dance with a girl, you're going to dance with her. If we tell you to go up to her room and not come out until morning, you will. You don't get a choice."

"But why?" now that feeling of betrayal was taking over completely, "I'm a victor! I've played your games..."

"Wrong again." Ivan was close to my face and I could smell the garlic on his breath, "Our games are just beginning. You want to know what will happen if you refuse?"

"You can't make me do this! It's not fair."

"They die."

"Who dies?" I hate to admit it but I was almost in tears. This was so ludicrous, just too insane to believe...

"The ones you love. Your mother. Your father. Your friends. One by one they all die, and believe me boy, we're not afraid to go for the throat if we need to."

I clenched my jaw and before I knew what was happening my fist connected with Ivan's face. The sound of the impact cracked through the air and Ivan fell into the wall.

Shit. What have I done?

"I'm sorry."

Ivan straightened up and wiggled his jaw to test his function. Then he smiled at me like a toothy barracuda. "See? That's the passion we recognized. I wouldn't recommend hitting me again, but let's channel that fire into your assignments from now on, alright boy? And you better make it convincing, because one little slip up and you're going to feel it. Believe me, you're going to be a busy man."

He left after that and I sat down because my legs wouldn't support me anymore. Was this really how it was going to be? I was going to have to parade around and pretend to want these woman and the whole time...

"It's not just you," I heard Coral say from behind me, "A lot of us get auctioned off as rewards. If we're desirable, someone wants a piece. You're not alone."

She left too, and once again I was by myself and I actually let myself succumb to the tears and covered my face so no one would see them. I should have let myself die in the arena. I never should have come out.

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The Games were over. Turned out the weak girl from Seven was tricking everyone the whole time. She was only thirteen but took out eight people with an axe singlehandedly. I didn't watch when I could help it. Three girls. Finnick was photographed with three girls during his escapade in the Capitol. I knew he was coming home today, but I didn't want to see him.

I went to the slums instead. I went into an old woman's house to clean up, cook her something, and reseal her roof. While I was there she fell and hit her head, so I changed my course and started walking her for the health center. It was a slow going process and the tiny cut on her bump was bleeding, which made me nauseated. I got about halfway when I heard a voice behind me.

"I knew I'd find you here."

I froze but then set my jaw and kept walking. "Go away, Finnick."

I could hear him still following behind us. "Do you want some help with her?"

"I said go away."

He ran up in front of me with his hands out so I had to stop. When I looked at his face I saw what everyone got to see on the screens; Finnick with his hair styled up and the makeup that made his eyes look bigger and his cheekbones rounder. The way his skin shimmered unnaturally and how he smelled like weird cologne. Only thing human about him was the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Annie, please. I need this right now. I need to help other people."

"This is not a game, Finnick!" I spat, almost losing my grip on the old woman's arm, "These people aren't just here to give you an emotional lift whenever you go off and do something crappy. You want to feel better about yourself? Don't go to the Capitol and run off with a bunch of random girls you don't know, how about that?"

Finnick frowned but then looked at the old woman. She didn't seem entirely conscious anymore and her weight was making my knees shake. Without a word he took her from me and carried her easily over his shoulder. I was so annoyed I couldn't even speak. But I wanted to make sure the woman made it to the center okay, so I followed behind him.

You're not being fair Annie. You don't know what he's going through.

Oh, shut it.

We dropped her off at the doctor's and Fin placed a few coins in the nurse's hand. If he thought he could buy his way to forgiveness, he was wrong.

We started walking back to the slums in silence. It felt good to ignore him, like I didn't have to use words to let him know how irate I was. Finally, after about five minutes of it, he turned and stopped in front of me.

"Annie, please. I know you're angry, but just give me this one? I go home and they pretend everything's fine, I go to my other friends and they make me seem like some sort of hero-"

"Oh yeah, that must be so hard."

"You're the only one who still sees me as a human being. Annie, someday I'll explain it. I'll explain everything, but I'm begging you. You're the only friend I know that makes me feel like I can tolerate myself. I know it doesn't make sense..."

He did look pretty desperate, and all too soon the nicer part of me won over.

Annie, you are such a weakling.

"Fine. But I'll just have you know I don't like it one bit Finnick, I don't like who you are when you leave home. Just putting that out there."

He looked down and shuffled his feet, "I know."

"Okay then," I breathed, trying to lighten the tone of my voice, "On the pretense that you are going to tell me what is going on at some point in this lifetime, we can be friends. But no mentioning to Capitol or the games or anything like that until you are going to tell me the full story. Until then, I'm going to pretend that that part of you doesn't even exist. Deal?"

He smiled and gave me a brief hug, "Sounds refreshing."

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"Lower the sail, we don't want to get stuck out here forever," my father told me. It was incredibly hot today, especially directly under the sun in the middle of the ocean. Father let me join the crew today on a fishing trip, and I went without hesitation. Volunteering with Annie was good therapy, but I needed a break from people. I needed the sun and the waves and the bad salty food. When I'd left for the Capitol I never went beyond kissing a girl, now I had experienced three in a way I don't think I was remotely prepared for. I did have plenty of gifts to give my mother when I returned home, however.

"Are you okay?" I asked. My father was rubbing his stomach and wincing; odd because he rarely ever let pain show on his face.

"I'm fine. Just some bad food I think. No matter. Oh and we're on a ship now, remember the rule."

"Right sorry, sir." I went about lowering the sail, but he stopped me.

"Hey, listen for a second son. I don't know what's going on in the Capitol with you, but I don't really like it. It makes you look shallow, and no Odair is ever going to be such. Alright?"

I stared at him with mild shock but nodded robotically. He patted me head a little too hard and sighed, "Just thought it should be said, that's all."

I walked away and got to work on the ship. We let the wind carry us for a good hour before throwing anchor and raising the sails again.

"Don't cast the nets yet boys, everyone go for a swim. We need to cool off or everyone's going to die of a heatstroke," Captain Odair hollered. A couple woops rang from the crew and then they all started diving off the side and plunging deep into the water. I had my trident with me, even though the water was deep. It was mostly for safety and practice, from what my parents said.

In the water I couldn't help but feel eerie out this deep, not knowing what sort of strange and dangerous creatures swam below my feet. It didn't help that the men were splashing around and carrying on without a care in the world.

I swam around until I'd fully cooled off and then climbed back on to the ship. A few men were on the deck, drying their faces off in their shirts. I went to join them when I heard it.

It's a sense we all develop at an early age, to hear that extra splash that makes all of our hair stand on end. I ran to the edge of the ship and a quarter of a mile out was my father.

Drowning.

My heart stopped and I froze, not able to do anything but stare. Why wasn't he yelling? What was happening...

And then that's when I saw the second problem; the massive shark circling the scene of the crime. Blood was in the water, he was struggling, but from what I could see the shark was right on top of him. I was losing my father in a fray of white and red water.

"Hey! HEY!" I screamed, pointing at him. The men below in the water followed my finger and then started shouting. I couldn't tell what was going on in the sudden chaos, but knew that all the splashing could only attract more predators. A few braver crewmates started swimming out to him, but I knew they would be defenseless against any predators that may show themselves; they were completely unarmed for heaven's sake! I threw my trident in the rescue boat, jumped inside and cut the rope, sending me into a stomach flipping fall into the water. I didn't look to see where I was paddling and I'm pretty sure I hit a few men on my way out, but I didn't care. There was nothing else but me, my father, and the stretch of water in between us.

"Dad! DAD!" I started shouting again. I don't know what good it would do except tell him I'm coming. The shark's fin disappeared and then he screamed, jerking around in the water and increasing the frenzy of noise behind me from the others. I paddled faster, if that were possible. Who cares if the wood was making my hands bleed? I didn't feel it anyway. More red was billowing up around him and now I was close enough to make out the anguish and the panic in his face. Those who had swam out reached him before my boat, but couldn't get any closer because of the shark. What were they expecting anyway?

When I was just a few feet away, I lifted the trident over the side of the boat and waiting for the brute to show itself again. as soon as I caught the glint of sunlight shining off its gray hide, I struck and sunk the prongs deep into its back. The shark was so big it probably was nothing fatal, but it did flip around, show me it's terrible bloody teeth, and then dive deep into the depths where the dark murky blue swallowed it up into safety.

But where was my father? I whipped my head around and then saw the swimmers diving under and realized he was sinking. I moved the trident and adjusted the boat into a good position for the men to bring him too.

Come on...come on where are you?

They breached the surface with a huge gasp, both of them helping to pull their captain through the water and to my boat. I saw how dangerous this was, to be trashing about it bloody water, completely distanced from the group. What had my father been thinking? He never made rash decisions like this...

"Grab him, boy," the bearded man gurgled, his mouth getting sucked underwater for a moment. I reached down and hooked my arms under his pits and hoisted, but it was clear the little boat was in danger of tipping. The other man swam to the other side and held it, but just that small amount of waiting did a number on me. I tried again, pulling him up with shaky arms. Water and blood poured into the boat, but at least he was on. His eyes were closed, his legs were shredded, but I couldn't evaluate anymore. I fell into the routine we learned as children, trying to feel breath on our cheek whilst checking the pulse. No breath. I blew air into his lungs and listened again. this time there was no breath and no pulse. My own quickened, not even noticing the other men climbing into the boat. I tipped his head back and forced more air into his lungs, then pumping his heart over and over again. The other two sat behind me, ready to sub in if I got tired. But there was no way I could be; his life was literally in my hands.

"Come on," I breathed before giving him more air. I rechecked his vitals but still nothing.

"Help me!" I cried desperately to the men behind me. They looked grave but the younger one knelt down and told me to pump his heart and he'd do the air. We took turns like that, checking his vitals and then giving him air, then his heartbeat.

Finally, finally he choked. We sat back and let him cough out what seemed like a gallon of sea water. His sharp green eyes found me and he reached for my hand. I think I might have been crying because his hand roughly wiped something off my cheek. He didn't look good. Even with the water gone from his lungs his breathing was shallow and pained. The bearded man started paddling swiftly but smoothly for the ship. I held his hand in both of mine and stared at his shining eyes.

Say something. Why don't you say something?

"Dad..."

He shook his head and silenced me with his expression. I couldn't look anywhere else but him.

"Take care of your mother, tell her I love her," he rasped. I wanted to tell him not to talk and say things like that, but my father wasn't someone who did things to be dramatic. Everything he said had purpose and meaning, and if he spoke, even if it was rough and an inch from death, you listened.

So I just nodded, keeping my grip on his hands and holding my vision locked with his. Everything about him seemed to be fading under his whiskers and tanned leather skin. "I'm proud you're my son."

He never said these things, they were too 'soft' for him. But if was saying them now, then he must've given up already.

But I wouldn't.

"Stay alive, we're going to get you onto the ship and-"

"Finnick..."

"Shut up," I snapped at the young man next to me, "Listen to me, dad, keep looking into my eyes, we're going to get you help. But you have to stay alive. For mom and me."

My vision was blurred by tears, but when I wiped them away I wish I hadn't. His eyes, my eyes, still looking at each other, but his were completely unblinking. And I sat there on that tiny damn boat and watched the light drain from my father's eyes and was completely helpless against it.

"No. No no no no no..."

I slammed my hands over his heart, a last-ditch approach we'd learned only to use in the most dire situations.

One...two...three...

"Finnick..."

Four...five...

"Finnick!"

Six...

"Fin-"

"STOP!" I broke, whipping around to shove the other man away. I couldn't stand the pity in his eyes, and cautious way his hands were hovering near my arm. "I'm not giving up on him!" I choked. I tried to go back to working on his heart, but a pair of arms stopped me.

"Enough boy!" I struggled and kicked as I was pulled from the boat onto the deck of the ship. I hadn't been aware that they even hoisted us up. "Enough."

I stopped for a moment just to see what was happening. I saw my arms and legs soaked in blood, I saw the crew in a tight circle around me, my captors, and the boat. The water was died a crimson red and I realized that the whole time I was worried about his heart I never saw he was completely bleeding out.

"Let me go, please."

I'd calmed down enough they seemed to think it was okay. A couple of crewmembers pulled my father from the boat and laid him on the wooden planks where everyone could see the extent of his injuries. I dropped to me knees and felt for his heartbeat, but of course I found nothing.

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Finnick's ship had returned, but everyone on shore was frozen. I squinted to see why and then felt my blood turn to ice as the black silk flag billowed against the sail. Peacekeepers were standing by while dock-workers tethered the ship and positioned the walk board. I pushed through the thick of people and stood by the plank, waiting for the men to start unloading. Finnick was the first off, his face white as a sheet and blood dried onto his skin and clothes.

"Finnick, what happened?" I whispered, lightly grabbing his sleeve. He looked at me and took a few more steps down the plank, never breaking our gaze.

"He's dead." His voice broke like glass, sending a chill from my heart out to my fingertips. He looked away from me and walked straight and sure, right to where his mother stood.

She looked like a hollow shell, completely stunned. He wrapped his arms around her to support the woman's weight as they carried the stretcher carefully down the board, a white sheet covering the corpse. But of course, even if no one had seen Finnick, the height of the man alone would've told us who it was. Mrs. Odair made some sort of heart shattering sound and covered her mouth, reaching her other shaking hand out to touch the chest of the man then brought before her. She ran her quivering fingers across the sheet, over his shoulder and head. I couldn't stop from crying myself, watching the tears well in her eyes and her lip quiver. Finnick pressed her head into his chest and tightened his arms around her, protecting her.

The peacekeepers started pushing the onlookers away, allowing the rest of the crew to exit the ship and find their families. I took off before any of them could come shoo me away.

Poor Finnick. More than that, his poor mother.

No matter how hard I try, I don't think I'll ever be able to fix him.

Captain Odair had been a private man, but that couldn't stop the streams of people coming to drop flowers and sand during his burial. I stood next to Pearl and Stephen, who'd sailed with him once or twice in the past. Echo hung in the back so she wouldn't get in the way. I stared across the way at the pale, exhausted, stone-faced Finnick and his weeping mother. His absent family had shown themselves today, standing behind them with ashy expressions and folded hands. Brye, Martin, Crest, and Dawn had swallowed their problems with emotions and stood by Finnick's side, occasionally gripping his shoulder. But his mother stood alone. Finnick held her one hand firmly, but I don't know if he wouldn't or couldn't do more. So I snuck through the crowd while they listed all of Captain Odair's accomplishments and came up by Mrs. Odair's side, opposite of Finnick. Without a word I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and neck and kept them there. She gave a little sob and then kissed the top of my head, gripping my arm with her free hand. I stood there until it was all done and the final handfuls of sand had been dropped on his grave.

The guests all started to shuffle away solemnly, but I stayed because she was still holding to my arm. I stayed until it was just me and her, Finnick, and his four friends.

"C'mon," he said finally, jostling his mother's hand, "we should go."

She stirred and slowly released me arm, glancing at me quickly and then letting Finnick guide her. He nodded his thanks and then I watched them leave, his friends each casting me a grave look before following the procession.

"Annie, let's go home," Pearl said gently, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. I went with her, but even at home I couldn't get the haunting scene out of my head. I'd had a parent die-both, actually-so I knew how nothing compared to that hurt. The shock of being abandoned.

The only thing I could do now was to wait for Finnick to come back to my beach someday, hoping for a distraction.