Part 3
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Chapter 2

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How are you supposed to find the parlor?

After Kalluto told you what her mom's favorite room is (as if it was an obvious fact), you left, leaving the girl to her book and tea. But how, in this huge maze of a mansion, are you supposed to find a room as vague as the parlor?

You wander around, finding nothing but more hallways, libraries, and two dining rooms, each decorated in palettes of red and black, hinted with greens and golds; it suits the Zoldyck family well. You step into a room; aside from a huge, sliding glass door that overlooks a massive rose garden, the room is bare. With small steps, you approach the door and place a hand on the sleek black handle. Bathed in moonlight, the garden awaits your presence. A bumpy cobblestone path snakes through the greenery, ending at a pond with calm water and not a single hint of algae—

Your heart nearly stops.

Sitting at the edge of the pond, lean legs crossed in front of him, is Hisoka. His head is arched towards the sky, the little bump of his adam's apple poking out, casting a shadow over his throat.

You purse your lips together and open the door. It gives with a gentle swish, but the soft sound does not catch Hisoka's attention. Each step feels like an invasion of privacy—both that of the flowers and Hisoka—but you continue. Lining the path, roses reach for the sky, hoping that their life goals will be fulfilled in the season of bloom—spread seed, look pretty, live.

Once you are a yard away from the garden, you stop. Hisoka has not moved. He is not smiling, nor is he smirking. This is what catches you, even more so than his presence in this beautiful portion of the Zoldyck property. "Why are you here, Hisoka?" You keep your voice small, so not to disturb the peace.

"(Y/N)." He still does not smile, as if a stoic nature has taken over his usual vivaciousness. "Come sit, stargaze with me."

Despite the clench in your legs that screams no and the pounding in your heart that forces your body into fight-or-flight, you approach him and take a seat.

"Don't worry, Illumi won't see us. He's talking to his mom." Hisoka says the word as if it tastes like salt and ash.

You do not respond for a long while, nor does Hisoka add anything. He lets his amber eyes examine the stars, perhaps counting them, or measuring the brightness of each one, his eyebrows cinched together, as if in thought.

"Hisoka."

He hums.

You repeat your earlier question. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know."

"That's not much like you." You lean forward and dip a finger into the pond. Koi swim up your fingertip, darting left and right with uncertainty—is it food, or a threat? "You always have a plan." In seconds, they grow disinterested and splash away to explore reaches of the pond that they have seen so many times before. "So, what is it this time? To finish Illumi's job and kill me? Or, perhaps, to kill him?"

Without the vicious smirk to twist his features with cynical madness, he appears almost sad. "I don't know."

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

"Stop saying that."

He chuckles a bit, bringing a smile to his lips, if only for an instant. You find yourself enjoying that instant. "What should I say then, darling? 'The answer has evaded me?' Or perhaps, 'My mind cannot form a proper response?'"

"No, give me straight answers. You never don't know, Hisoka."

"You don't know anything about me, (Y/N)."

His response catches you off guard. You have no answer to that, so instead, you look at the garden some more. After a long stretch of nothing but the sounds of insects and nature to fill the air, Hisoka stands up.

"Where are you going?" you ask.

Hisoka sighs, sliding his hands into his pockets. "The city."

"What for?"

Hisoka looks down at you, and finally, he smirks. "For fun, of course."

You purse your lips, then, "Okay."

Hisoka reaches a pale, sharp hand out towards you. "You know I hate your guts, right?" you say, raising an eyebrow. You take his hand in yours and let him help you up, but he does not let go.

Hisoka chuckles. Not only that; he reaches his other hand around you, touching the small of your back with an intensity you could never match.

Then he kisses you. Hard.

///

"I think you should have a discussion with (Y/N)," Illumi says. A needle flicks between his fingers gently. "Get to know them. Don't pass them off just because they exist."

Kikyo stares at Illumi's fingers, watching the yellow needle—as if it is the only thing that exists—with a single blazing red 'eye'. Her emotions have relatively settled; she has returned to her regular self, but is still wary of the dynamic between you and Illumi, but for his sake, of course. "I suppose I could do that, but what good would it do, Ill? Silva still won't change his mind. He does not want them in your life."

Illumi looks at the parlor entrance, a huge opening in the wall that connects it to the corridor beyond. He knows his mother's words are true. Like everyone else in the family, Silva sees emotional bonds, if not for mating, as a burden.

Kikyo sighs, then begins telling her son what she believes he should do. He listens with a dissociated presence, not wishing to talk about how he can leave you behind, because, despite his logic screaming coldly that you do not belong in his life, he still needs you.

You do not get to read about what Kikyo says, because you just left the rose garden and have returned to your search for the parlor. A feeling has electrified your veins after Hisoka's luscious touch and soothingly warm voice and citrus scent, leaving you lively and sad at the same time. As Kikyo is ordering Illumi around, you are thinking.

Why didn't you yell at Hisoka? So much hate for that damned jester sits in a little bottle in your heart, desperate to be released. He ruined so much. He plays with people like toys, and throws them away when they are not fun anymore.

So why was he acting so normal? Why didn't you yell at him? Why did you let him kiss you goodbye; why didn't you tell him to go fuck himself as he ran off into the night?

You never want to see his face again, yet you long for his touch.

Up ahead is a large opening in the wall, standing as a doorway to a new room. You approach it, hearing a voice as you do so.

"...for Silva's sake. Can you do that? Please?"

A pause.

Illumi's voice comes next. "No. I cannot do that. I am sorry."

You peek your head into the room, but both of the voices—and the heads that they belong to—are already staring at you, as if they could sense you approaching. It is Illumi, sitting with a strange woman who wears an odd visor over her eyes. Your eyebrows shoot upward, and you giggle nervously, stepping fully into the room.

"Hey," you say with a little, awkward wave.

The woman and Illumi stand up from their seats, respectfully. A visor covers the woman's eyes, a little red dot in the center glaring at you. It is discomforting, not only because it is so searing, but because it clashes with her mid-1800's dress. A set of three bulky chairs surround a flickering orange fire that dances like the sun. The room is capacious and holds a set of tea cups on one table, along with more bookshelves (Jesus Christ, they read a lot, you think) and a small table.

Illumi approaches you, then outstretches a hand. With his face bathed in shadow from the fire flaring behind him, he looks warm and kind. A rush of thankfulness, simply for his existence, floods through your body, and all thoughts of Hisoka vanish like dust in a breeze.

You take his hand and let him lead you to one of the chairs.

"You must be (Y/N)," the woman says, extending a hand to shake. You do not know her name yet, but like Kalluto, she already knows yours. Illumi must have told them all about you. Weird, seeing as though he has never before mentioned his family in conversation, aside from Killua.

You grab the woman's hand, shake it, then begin to pull away, but she grasps it hard, her thin, pale fingers resembling tiny ropes.

"Darling, do you understand how much trouble you have put our family through?" she asks you, trying to hide the sneer that pulls the corner of her lips up. "Silva is off on an angry rampage doing who knows what... Kalluto and I are absolutely distraught at Illumi's state—"

"Mother."

The woman glances at Illumi. Her son. She chuckles innocently and says, "Oh dear, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Kikyo Zoldyck, but please, let's stick with the formalities."

You hardly have time to wrap your head around the dialogue before Kikyo unhands you and takes her seat. Deciding it is best to stay silent, you sit down next to Illumi, who is in the middle. His dark eyes stare into the fire, emotionless and deep, as usual.

"Mother, would you excuse us? We have some private things to discuss."

Kikyo looks surprised. She clearly read the room wrong. "Oh! Of course. My apologizes." She chuckles again and gives the two of you a courteous wave before strolling out of the room. She seems like the kind of person who would linger at a doorway, hoping to get even the smallest drop of gossip out of another's conversation.

You smile at Illumi, who is now staring at you. "Your mom seems nice."

"She is." Illumi crosses one leg over the other and sits up.

There is a small moment of silence.

"Illumi, if we're going to talk, I think we should try to understand each other."