Atticus Sylvensen VII. An aspiring lawyer born in a well-off family. No words can depict the admiration that I feel for him. He was the onlyperson that I had judged closest to perfection. 

When I first met him, I just knew it. He was the man of my life and fate brought us together.

"Napapansin ko lang," banat ni Conan habang kumakain kami sa cafeteria. "Parang ang hirap mo na yatang makita nitong mga nakaraang araw. Anong pinagkakaabalahan mo?"

Napaubo naman ako. "Busy lang ako, Conan."

Ngumiwi siya. "We're classmates. Bakit hindi naman ako gano'n ka-busy?"

I did my best to change the subject. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw kong sabihin sa kanya, pero balak ko rin namang ikwento ang tungkol kay Atticus. Soon, but not now.

We're already in senior high school. Magkaklase parin kami ni Conan. Wala namang nagbago sa buhay ko. Ako parin si Stellar Lumina, ang dakilang ampon ng mga Venice. They're still feeding me and providing me shelter, so I have nothing to whine about. Pinapaaral din nila ako sa magandang eskwelahan kaya wala akong karapatang umangal sa malamig na pagtrato nila sa akin.

Madalas akong tanungin ni Conan tungkol sa pamilya ko, ngunit kahit kailan ay hindi ako nagkwento sa kanya. I didn't want him to know more than necessary. I didn't want him to pity me.

"Do you think I'm too old for you, Stellar?"

Napakurap naman ako sa tanong ni Atticus habang kumakain kami ng hapunan sa isang fast food chain. We've been dating for months, but this is the first time that he brought up the age gap between us.

"Bakit mo naman natanong?" pagtataka ko.

He rested his chin on the back of his hand.

"I'm twenty-two, you know." he remarked, ashamed.

"And I'm turning eighteen next month. Don't sweat it."

Napabuga naman siya ng hangin."Oh, I hate the irony. To think that I'm pursuing law yet I'm dating a minor."

I laughed. "Do you want to break up, then?"

"What? No." mabilis niyang sagot at napairap. "Who cares about the law when I'm so in love with you?"

My cheeks flushed. He always do this to me every freaking time. Atticus just casually says something that makes me love him even more.

"Day by day, you are making me fall even harder... and I'm all helpless down there. Wala rin naman akong balak tumanggap ng tulong." Pinisil niya ang ilong ko at pinanggigilan niya ako.

I was contented with him. Pakiramdam ko, hindi man ako pinalad sa pagkakaroon ng pamilya, maswerte naman ako dahil nakilala ko siya. He was my comfort zone, the place that I never want to leave.

But of course, we cannot keep something precious for too long... especially if someone else likes it as much as you do.

I was peacefully studying in my room when Gaia stormed inside. She seemed to be in an extremely bad mood.

"Is it true that you're dating Atticus, the law student?"

Napaamang naman ako sa tanong niya. Ingat na ingat akong hindi malaman ng mga Venice ang tungkol sa relasyon namin dahil hindi ko alam kung papayagan nila ako. Pero ngayon, base sa nakikita ko...

"Break up with him. I like that man." Her selfish remark made my blood boil. "Do it now. Kailangan bukas, wala na kayo."

Tinalikuran na niya ako at halos magdugo ang mga labi ko dahil sa diin ng pagkakakagat ko rito. I can't believe that she just said it so casually. First and foremost, I love Atticus and I have no plans of breaking up with him. Kahit anong sabihin niya, hindi ko susundin ang utos niya.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot do that."

Napahinto naman siya sa may pintuan. Dahan-dahan niya akong nilingon at kitang kita ko ang hilaw niyang ngisi sa mukha, nagpipigil ng galit. "Pardon, Stellar?"

"Hindi ko siya hihiwalayan. You're not in any position to make me do that." lakas-loob kong sambit kay Gaia. Hindi naman siya kumibo. "You always get what you want. Aren't you being too greedy?"

She stared blankly at me. Makalipas ang ilang segundo, tumango-tango sa akin si Gaia. Nanatiling walang emosyon ang kanyang malamlam na mga mata.

"I see." matabang niyang sabi. "Ares will be coming home tomorrow. He'll stay here for good. Be nice to him."

Pumihit na siya paalis at doon lamang ako nakahinga ng maluwag. Tila nabunutan ako ng tinik sa lalamunan habang tinititigan ang pintong nilabasan ni Gaia.

"Is there something wrong?" tanong ni Atticus sa akin.

Napayakap naman ako sa kanya. Kinakabahan ako. It's too quiet in the house. It felt like something bad was about to happen.

"I love you." I said out of nowhere.

Bakas naman ang pag-aalala sa mukha ni Atticus.

"I love you, too." He pursed his lips. "Why do I have this feeling that you're going to dump me? You're scaring me."

I chuckled heartily. "I'm all yours, dummy."

He shook his head. "I have to make sure."

I was stupefied when he showed me a small box. Napatakip ako sa bibig ko nang buksan niya ito at bumungad sa akin ang isang kumikinang na singsing. Simple lamang ito ngunit napakaelegante sa paningin.

"I won't ask you to marry me because you will, whether you like it or not. Bawal tumanggi." natatawa niyang sabi at maingat na isinuot sa akin ang singsing. "You are the best accident that happened to my life. I don't want anyone else but you."

My eyes watered with tears.

"I am helplessly in love with you, Stellar."

And it was the first truth that I ever claimed as my own.

Masaya ako noong gabing iyon, ngunit hindi ko inakalang ang kasiyahang iyon ay may malaking kapalit.

Nang makauwi ako, sinalubong ako ni Gaia. Hindi naman talaga kami nagkikibuan sa bahay pero noong gabing iyon, tila hinihintay niya ako.

"Welcome home." malumanay niyang bati. My eyes darted on the chain and collar that she had on her hands.

"Anong-"

I screamed in horror when she suddenly pulled my hair then banged my head against the wall. Umikot ang paningin ko sa ginawa niya. Nang mapaluhod ako sa sahig, sapilitan niyang ipinulupot sa leeg ko ang kadenang hawak niya.

I desperately gasped for air. "Stop this, Gaia!"

"I told you to break up with him but you're so stubborn. I have no choice but to do this." Mas lalo akong napaiyak nang nakita ko si Mommy na nakatayo sa may pintuan at tila awang awa sa akin.

"Mommy..."

"Know your place, you wench." napapailing niyang sabi. "You were always such a good girl. How could you defy your sister?"

Huli na nang mapagtanto kong ikinadena na ako ni Gaia sa loob ng kwarto. Sinipa niya palapit sa akin ang isang kainan ng aso na may lamang tubig. "My little brother would be glad to see his new pet."

They held me captive in the mansion. It seemed like they had disposed of everything that belonged to me. Days and weeks passed until I completely lost track of time.

Pero walang araw na hindi ko naisip si Atticus.

He kept me going. I had to endure it all for him.

"Are you hungry, Stellar?" malambing na tanong sa akin ng nakababatang kapatid ni Gaia na si Ares. He was such a little boy, so kind and utterly innocent.

Nanghihina naman akong ngumiti sa kanya nang ilapit niya sa akin ang kainan ng aso at sinenyasan akong kumain na. "What's wrong? Don't you like the food? Eat, Stellar."

Napaiyak ako sa malamig na semento. Ni hindi ko magawang magalit sa kanya dahil hindi naman niya naiintindihan ang mga nangyayari. Marahil iniisip lang niya kung paano niya ako maaalagaan ng maayos bilang alaga niya, bilang isang hayop.

Lumipas pa ang napakahabang panahon. Umasa akong mahahanap ako ni Atticus pero nawalan na rin ako ng pag-asa dahil wala naman siyang alam tungkol sa pamilya ko.

At isang araw, pinapili ako ni Gaia.

"Do you want to live or to love?"

Tears streamed down to my cheeks.

"The world is unfair, Stellar. You can't have it all. Now, let me ask you again: do you want your life or do you want his love?"

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