Still Life

Haaris blankly stared at the rose which had been emptied from its red petals slowly by him some moments ago. It was destined to bear his frustration, anger, and sadness because seeing it he was only thinking of his wife and her bitter words which had pierced him like small needles.

He had decided to talk to her and apologise to her about his behavior, he had everything planned. From giving a red rose with an elegant diamond ring that he had bought on his way back to Nanna's house to seek her forgiveness. But Ghazal spoiled everything with her words.

Tiredly he messed up his already messy hair in agitation. How could she say those words so easily, without thinking about his feelings? Adam was his son too and nobody could change that fact even Ghazal too. Yes, she was in anger, in worry but nobody gave her a right to hurt him with this type of words. She couldn't understand how happy and content Haaris felt seeing those shades of happiness on his son's beaming face, she couldn't understand how satisfied he felt when Adam kissed his cheek in gratitude for getting his favorite toys.

Opening the bedside drawer, he found a new packet of cigarettes awaiting its owner. He grabbed it quickly and put one between his dry lips in order to whiff away all his worries for the time being. But as he lit the lighter, Ghazal's face came in front of him forcing him to throw away the temptation at bay. It was not right, not a little bit. She was the one who had pulled him towards life and now was giving him the pain to push him back where he had been standing for God knows how long.

What did he need to do? He couldn't go back to her not now and couldn't use his ways to forget everything just because everything around him was utterly wrong. How messy his life was! Ghazal didn't even have realized what she had done, her face was not showing any signs of regret on her statement rather she was staring him with so much annoyance like Haaris was the dumbest person she had ever seen in her life. It would be good if she had killed him than hurting him like this, it would be worth it.

From start, Haaris was used to getting hurt in every single way but he never considered Ghazal to hurt him. Though they were so different, though they didn't get along too well Haaris hadn't even thought of getting hurt by his spouse.

Why are you testing me so much, tigress?

He was conversing with Ghazal's imagination, his fingertips slowly skimming the shining diamond on the ring. It was sparkling the same as her bright eyes which had urged him to buy it as soon as he saw the ring. He ignored the constant beeping of his cellphone but the ringing sound impelled Haaris to grab it.

He let it ring as much it wanted. She was angry at him for not picking up her calls, now he would give her more reasons to be angry on him. There were thirteen missed calls and seven unread texts, all from Ghazal.

I'm sorry, Haaris. 😞

Plz, forgive me. 🙏

Plz at least talk to me. Plzzz 😔

Why aren't u picking up my calls?

Have you reached safely at home?

Haaris, at least reply something.

Plz give some reply, I'm getting worried over here. Are u alright? If u don't reply me now I'm coming there.

Haaris heaved a long sigh rereading Ghazal's every message for more than twice. His call was picked up at the very first ring and he got welcomed by an anxious voice.

"Haaris, where were you? Why weren't you picking up my calls? I was so worr-"

"I am at home. Bye."

Haaris cut off the call without giving her any chance to speak further. That was enough just to wipe out her worry, he was safe that was she needed to know. Switching off his phone, he laid down on the bed to get some peaceful sleep but again the thought of Ghazal made him open his eyes.

What if he got any nightmare? Who would hold his hands soothingly? Who would talk to him about random things just to move his mind elsewhere? Who would be with him? Merely four days had passed since their wedding and Haaris was craving for Ghazal's company.

Crap!

What he had drowned himself into? That lady was maybe some kind of enchantress or what as he was getting enchanted with her, every day. The place beside him was empty and he felt the emptiness of his life too, missing Ghazal and Adam.

***

Ghazal bit her lower lip in anticipation, her hands gently moving on the rim of the dresser.

"Mam, should I make breakfast for you?"

"No thanks. "

She shooed away the maid with a small smile and sat down on the bed waiting for her husband to show up. After dropping Adam at his school, Ghazal had come to her house because counting every second away from Haaris was more difficult than to apologize to him face to face.

Haaris had gone to his morning walk as she came to know from the maid so Ghazal had no option but to wait for him. Last night was so hard for her because of so many things, firstly the guilt of hurting Haaris, thinking about the ways to apologize to him and then thinking about Haaris's anger as he had cut off her call midway. He was the most stubborn human being on earth!

After tiring herself with the same thoughts again and again, Ghazal decided to use that waiting time for something useful. So she took a shower and changed into a fresh pair of green salwar-kameez and combed her hair properly leaving them open to dry. A familiar diary on the bedside table grabbed her attention and a knowing smile made its way to her lips. It was her patients' notebook which she had forgotten in Haaris's car some time ago. That time Ghazal didn't have the idea that she would be seeing it again, standing in his room as his wife. A small pink paper was peeking from between the pages, she didn't remember putting anything like it.

Thanks for understanding me, Ghazal.

Haaris had scribbled it just below her notes where she had described Haaris and his behavior. Didn't know how some tears blocked her vision seeing his words of gratefulness, enhancing her guilt of hurting him? Where was he? Ghazal needed him to stand in front of her so that she could ask for his forgiveness for her blunder mistake.

"Hey!"

Ghazal turned on Haaris's voice and the first time in her life she felt her heart missing a beat seeing him with a welcoming smile. He closed the door on his way, dropping down the hoodie from his head revealing the messy hair, some strands sticking to his forehead and his face red by running.

"When did you come?"

"Just after dropping Adam to the school."

The name of Adam definitely brought back the memories of yesternight as his smile vanished and a frown replaced it.

"Why?"

Ghazal silently stared at him, her fingers fidgeting with each other and her teeth biting her lower lip just to calm down her running heart. Her breath hitched as Haaris's fingers touched her lower lip ever so slightly and freed it from her teeth.

"Why you came back, Ghazal?" His voice was ice cold like his breath which was fanning on her face. Ghazal gulped looking in his brown questioning orbs.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night."

"You showed me the mirror. What's there to apologize?" Ghazal held his arms shaking her head, she had hurt him in a huge way.

"No that wasn't the mirror, it was all absurd and rubbish out of my anger. Adam is your so-"

"Save it, Ghazal. I don't want to hear anything."

Haaris removed her hands from his arms and made his way towards the washroom only to be stopped by Ghazal in his way.

"Haaris, I am sorry. I can't tell you how much I am hurting myself just by thinking of my words of yesternight. Please forgive me."

"Leave my way, Ghazal."

"I am saying sorry for my behavior Haaris. Please say something. Just don't ignore me. Punish me but don't act as if I don't exist in your life."

The silence was piercing and felt heavier than any noise at that moment. Because it was carrying their stares, their ragged breaths, and their sadness.

"Punish you?"

Ghazal meekly nodded, quite surprised at the thing which had caught his attention. In her past, she had been punished for the things she didn't even know she did but today the punishment would be worth it. Whether Haaris would slap her or beat her, she would bear it silently.

"You know to give me the option of punishing you can be dangerous."

"I know but if that's what it takes you to forgive me, I am ready to bear the punishment. "

Ghazal felt Haaris's one hand on her waist and he pulled her closer leaving a mere inch between them. He cupped her face with one hand, his thumb tracing her eyelashes as she closed her eyes on their proximity.

***

Haaris memorized her every single feature not trusting his destiny and time to give him a special moment like this when he would be able to see her so closely. His heart was racing fastly as he traced her eyelashes, he didn't ever saw there was a small mole just near her right eye. Her nose pin sparkled much more when looked at closely and that soothing jasmine fragrance which calmed him down just a moment after he saw Ghazal in his room.

How could he punish this lady? Punishing her would hurt him more. How could he even stay angry with her anymore when Ghazal was looking so breathtakingly beautiful. Her hair was wet and now he could feel the dampness slowly skipping through the thick material of his hoodie.

"Are you sure you want to get punished?"

Ghazal nodded with labored breaths, he was thankful that she had closed her eyes as she could see him smiling. Haaris moved his face closer to her and gently bit the tip of her nose resulting in a somewhat amused wince from her.

"Ouch."

"I forgive you."

Haaris announced with a smile looking into her eyes and felt proud of himself as Ghazal's eyes crinkled with the prettiest smile. A tiny redness had crept up to the tip of her nose making her more beautiful. He traced it and placed a soft kiss to soothe the pain.

"I am sorry." Ghazal chuckled, rubbing her nose childishly.

"If that's your punishment, I must be careful in the future before doing any mistake."

"I want you to make more mistakes, I like what I did."

Haaris said with a laugh gesturing towards her red nose, getting a fake punch in the gut in return. He touched his forehead with hers enjoying the closeness and the feeling that everything was getting back on place.

"I have something for you." He joined their hands and made her sit on the bed. Shuffling the contents of the drawer, Haaris shoved out the small black velvet box.

"What's that?"

"Patience, tigress." Chuckling to himself seeing her adorable pout he took Ghazal's hand in his, his fingertips brushing over her knuckles timidly.

"I am sorry for behaving so..." Haaris rubbed the back of his neck, perturbed for not getting proper words for his sorry speech. Ghazal smiled and placed a hand over his.

"Childishly."

"Yes, childishly."

"Impulsively."

"Yes, that too."

"Immaturely"

Ghazal's eyes shone with the bright light of mischief and he loved the way how the shades of pink rested against her cheeks just because she was stopping herself from laughing.

"Yes, everything. I am sorry for my utter annoying behavior over the past few days. I want to mend everything between us. So may I?"

On Ghazal's nod, he fished out the diamond ring from the box and adorned her delicate finger with it. She touched the diamond with a smile and held his hand tighter than before.

"That's beautiful but I want you to keep one thing in mind, Haaris. If God forbid, if we have a fight again in our relationship-we will just come to each other and apologize. No expensive gifts and no anger."

"No punishments too?"

Haaris teased moving her face closer to his, his hand cupping the back of her head. There was a slight shiver in Ghazal's hands as she gently held his face in her warm ones.

"That's up to you."

He got a playful reply from his spouse, her smile getting wider looking into his eyes. Haaris kissed her forehead lovingly still not believing that it was all real that Ghazal was in front of him, they had sorted out everything.

"I will get freshen up," he said in between kissing her cheeks, "We will do our breakfast together."

Ghazal nodded with a pure smile and his eyes flickered to her lips. He got up but was stopped by her soft voice.

"Hey Haaris, will you pick up Adam from his school today?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good, because he was waiting for his father to pick him up, from the first day of his school."

Those words were enough to soothe the pain of Ghazal's yesternight statement and that's why unknowingly a grateful smile formed on his lips giving a clear sign of the utter happiness he felt at that moment.

***

Ghazal glanced at the wall clock for the umpteenth time surely getting annoyed by the slow ticking of the time. That one week break had surely proved to be the great change in her life as now she was craving for the hour when her shift would end and she would head to her house.

It was good, very little time was remaining for her shift to end. She wrote some more notes in her book and closed it quickly as the headache of tiredness crept up to her. Ghazal rubbed her forehead and the images of today morning flashed in her mind increasing her heartbeats from their usual pace.

"Thanks. I will take the taxi on the return you don't need to come."

She said opening the car door but failed as it was locked. Haaris was watching her attempts with a mischievous smile on his lips as she furrowed her brows at him.

"Haaris open the door. I am getting late."

As they had dropped Adam at his school, on Haaris's insistence she had to sit beside him on the front seat. It was unusual but not bad.

"So, I will not come to pick you?"

Ghazal nodded and Haaris pursed his lips in thinking, "Then you must say a proper goodbye to your hubby."

"Goodbye, Haaris." Ghazal said blankly resulting in an amused laugh from him.

"Seriously tigress!", Haaris asked his eyes still narrowed due to the smile on his lips, "A proper goodbye is like this."

With that, he placed tingling kisses on her cheeks and as he was about to move back her scarf got stuck in his watch.

"Everything is stopping you from going away," Haaris said gently removing the soft fabric from the watch.

"Take care."

Ghazal bid her goodbye, her eyes looking him for more than she wanted because his smile was captivating.

Ghazal's heart slightly jiggled at its place just by reminiscing the touch of his lips on her cheeks. She wetted her dried lips and locked her cabin, happy that she would be returning home finally. As she left the premises of the hospital, her phone began to ring showing the caller id of her husband.

"Ma, where are you?"

" I am just coming. "

"Yesh, me and Dad are mishing you."

Adam's straight confession forced a giggle from her. She heard some shuffling from the other line and was welcomed by Haaris's husky voice.

"Hey, it's all true. No need to laugh at your man."

"I was not laughing at you. I was laughing at our son's straight words."

She said stopping at the pavement for a moment. "Have you had your lunch?"

"Yes, m'lady. We missed you at lunch."

Ghazal smiled hearing his sad voice, imagining his face she left the pavement, "Sunday lunch will be good because we all will be to-"

Her voice died as she got slammed by the coming vehicle. The cellphone was still in her hand as Ghazal fell on the road, her vision getting hazy by every passing moment. She was not liking the feel of cold liquid on her face. There were some distant sounds of people gathering around her, horns and what not but what stuck in her mind was the voice of her spouse who was calling her again and again. With his worried voice still in her mind, Ghazal gave away her senses blacking out the world around her.