Color Wheel

Haaris abruptly woke up from his slumber, it was not needed to say the reason was his nightmare. Again those awful memories but what was worse was seeing Ghazal between all of them, it hurt and it hurt badly. Guilt was forming in him for pulling Ghazal in all of this, in the black and dark pit of his past.

He left his room and came to the front porch of the house. His farmhouse was small, unlike his own house where he could enjoy his bedroom balcony whenever he wanted. Haaris covered his mouth to stop his heavy breathing, the haunting memories were not ready to move from his mind.

The great fool he was, as usual, this time too he didn't bother to put a jacket or just a shawl around him. The chilly air hit him with a full force and Haaris realized his mistake. He was about to get up from his place when the fabric of the soft blanket touched his arm.

"You are ready to invite too much cold for yourself. "

Ghazal said sitting beside him, carefully enveloping herself in the shawl. Her tone was scolding just like a teacher chastised her student. Haaris tightened the blanket around himself and took a long sigh of anxiety.

Ghazal quickly took his hands in hers and began to whiff in them, gently rubbing them. It was always felt like magic how she calmed him with her touch. Haaris was still somewhat in awe looking at this Ghazal, who used to get angry at him for abrupt touch, now held his hands on her own. Despite that, she didn't get angry whenever Haaris touched or-

"May I ask you one thing, Ghazal?"

"Yes."

"How come you don't get angry when I touch you like used to get earlier?"

On his query, Haaris got a bright smile. Seeing her, he felt like the shine of the wintery moon was too dim in front of the beautiful smile of his wife. Ghazal pressed his hands and started in a calm tone.

"You know, what you used to do earlier is not good. Allah doesn't like it. He likes this..", she said moving her index finger between them, "Affection between a man and his wife. So how could I hate the thing which my Lord likes?"

Haaris just stared at her, silently. Her words drowning in his heart, in his mind, in his soul. Every single thing about her spoke only one word, purity. Her face, her words, her way of living, then why did Ghazal get a husband like him? He was filthy, the way he abused himself in drugs and alcohol spoilt his entire being.

"I haven't seen any woman purer than you."

Ghazal just chuckled, shaking her head and lowering her gaze. She was surely feeling shy by his praise as her face was now painted with a faint shade of red.

"Are you blushing, Mrs. Haaris?"

He tilted his head just near her ear, veiling their talks from the chirping crickets, blinking stars, and bright shining moon. Haaris slowly tightened his grasp around her soft hands, stopping her movements.

"Absolutely not, Mr. Haaris."

Ghazal said with a coy smile dancing on her lips, her voice slightly wavered at the edge may be due to his intense gaze which he was not ready to move from her face.

"Then I must say I have gotten a liar girl as my wife."

"Whatever."

Ghazal said groaning inwardly surely doing her best to hide her embarrassment. She timidly pried her hand from his hold and smiled looking at him.

"Thank God I remembered this..." she extended her flat palm in front of him and he confusedly looked at her face, his heart doing somersaults seeing the glimmering face of his wife, "else Nanna would have bugged me for my entire life."

Haaris chuckled "What happened? "

"You have to find your name in my henna." He gave a short laugh at her silly game.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's kind of ritual after marriage." She rolled her eyes and assured him when Ghazal saw a glint of amusement in his eyes, "Nanna has told me to do this, spare me."

Haaris shook his head, smiling to himself. Nanna was the most excited lady he had ever seen in his life, her games and her rituals. He held Ghazal's hand and began to search his name in the intricate patterns of the henna.

"I am unable to see your hand properly in this maze and you are telling me to find my name."

Haaris whined when he didn't find any success searching his name for five minutes and in return, he only got a giggle.

"Okay, that means I will be the leader in our marriage."

Ghazal proudly announced showing his name to him in between many intricate lines and patterns. How did he miss that place!

"Woah, it has some meaning!"

Ghazal giggled nodding her head at his surprised state. Haaris tightened his hold on her wrist and pulled her face closer to his, her black curls timidly swaying by his warm breath. She just stared in his eyes, her doe-like black orbs giving him peace to no limit.

"I am ready to obey you, your highness. "

Haaris whispered and he got a glimpse of her demure smile as Ghazal rested her head on his shoulder, hiding from his gaze.

***

"So what will you like to have for your breakfast?"

Ghazal asked collecting her loose hair in a messy bun, trying to ignore Haaris's constant gaze on herself. She was never used to of these types of stares, one that would make you feel special, one that would leave us in thought-if we are really that pretty. Haaris's stares were just like that, which forced her to look at herself in the mirror for too long in search of her own beauty.

Farzan never spared a second glance on her and whenever he would look at her, he would be too drunk to acknowledge her attempts to look better in front of him. It was only his last minutes when Farzan had seen Ghazal without any barriers and that thought always left her in pieces.

"Dad, have you fallen ashleep?"

Adam's voice broke the trance around them. Ghazal looked at her son who was enjoying his horse-ride, just the difference was Haaris was poorly attempting to imitate the horse and Adam was sitting on his back. Haaris chuckled, throwing a sheepish smile at her.

"No. Where do you want to go, sir?"

"Pleash take me to my mother."

"Yes, sir."

Ghazal covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud, seeing the adorable father-son duo. Haaris came towards her and stopped in front of her.

"Sir, your destination."

"Thanksh horshy."

Adam giddily said and gestured Ghazal to take him in her arms which she happily obliged, giving a small smile to her husband.

"Dad, I want one more round."

"Adi, first breakfast now."

Ghazal chastised her son and turn her head to look at Haaris who was moving his hands in his tangled locks.

"So, what for breakfast?"

"I don't do breakfast. Only tea."

Haaris tiredly lied down on the bed and gave an exasperated sigh. "Besides you don't have to make breakfast, baba will make it."

"I will make it and you too have to eat."

Ghazal said in a determined voice and left the room, keeping Adam with Haaris. Only two days with him and she had come to know, Haaris was an irresponsible eater. He never bothered about his meal and if he ate it had to be in very less quantity.

"Child, I will make breakfast."

"No, baba. I will call you if I need some help."

Ghazal started by making omelettes, then toasted some slices of bread, prepared the orange juice and sliced some fresh fruits. Today Ghazal had determined, she would make her husband eat the breakfast, anyhow. She decorated the tray with the delicacies and when Ghazal entered the dining hall, Haaris was already seated on one of the chairs talking to Adam.

"Start breakfast." She put the plate of the omelette in front of Haaris and got busy in feeding small morsels to Adam.

"Ghazal."

"Yes." She looked at Haaris who was gesturing her to feed him too with his open mouth and index finger pointing towards his plate. That man was surely crazy! Adam giggled watching his childish acts.

"You can eat on your own." Ghazal tried to ignore him, which was slightly difficult as she was constantly captivated in his gaze.

"Pleash. Itsh a requesht."

She couldn't help but laugh at Haaris, who was trying to talk like Adam. He was smiling at her after giving a wink to Adam, wiggling his eyebrows as he had won some kind of battle. Letting out a nervous sigh, Ghazal extended a morsel in front of his mouth.

Heat rose up to her neck and must have painted her cheeks with scarlet shade as Haaris's lips touched her fingertips. She clearly knew he was deliberately doing it as an unknown shine was present in his eyes. Ghazal looked at him for a moment with furrowed brows only to lower her gaze by his bewildering eyes.

"Now you can start your breakfast."

Haaris took the plate from her hands and gestured her to eat. Finishing their breakfast, the trio came in the front yard of the house. There were hens and geese which Adam had seen for the first time.

"Ma, shee."

Adam showed her a chicken which was now in his small hands. Ghazal gently traced the feathery head of the bird and giggled as she saw it enjoying her touch. On the sound of the click, she looked up to find Haaris with his camera.

"It's not good to click pictures without permission."

"Of my wife too?"

"Maybe."

Haaris took a seat beside her taking a long sigh. She was making weird patterns on the ground with a small stick in her hand. The surroundings were calm and breathtakingly beautiful and Ghazal was feeling quite content sitting there enjoying with her family.

"Hey." Ghazal looked at Haaris and he again clicked her various pictures, despite of her denial. Her husband was a stubborn man as Nanna had told her.

"By now, your camera must be full with my pictures."

"Maybe but it's still not enough."

Ghazal's eyes widened and Haaris gave a teasing smile. "And what about us? "

"What?"

"Won't you click our pictures together? "

Haaris was stupified at her request, undoubtedly he hadn't thought that she would request him something like that. But, now he was her husband and Ghazal wanted to keep some memories with her about the time when she felt at peace after a long time.

"Just wait a minute." Haaris brought the tripod and set the camera properly to its place. After that many of their memories got preserve in the eye of the lens with Adam in their arms.

***

"You aren't ready yet?"

Haaris questioned looking at his wife who was confusingly staring at her dresses. After lunch, he had decided to take Adam and Ghazal to the fields. Adam was ready but Ghazal was still in her messy attire. Not that he was complaining, she was looking gorgeous in that but she had insisted on getting ready.

"There's a problem. "

Ghazal picked two dresses in her hands to show him. They were those which Haaris had gifted her, one was sky blue while the other was somewhat pink.

"What? I think pink will look good on you."

Haaris suggested in order to solve Ghazal's problem to which she shook her head.

"That's not it. They both have half sleeves. "

"So?"

Ghazal gave him a 'duh' look like he was the dumbest man on earth. Indeed, Haaris was unable to understand her problem and now was confused as to what to say next.

"I only wear full sleeves, Haaris. Don't you see. What I do now?"

Ghazal showed him her dress which she was wearing at that time. Haaris pursed his lips in thought, seeing worried Ghazal. Their stay was of some days that's why she hadn't brought many dresses with her and that was all she had.

"Wear any one of them and wear that long coat over it, you wear while going out."

"That's abaya by the way." Ghazal improved his so-called knowledge with a chuckle. Taking the pink dress with her, she moved to the washroom.

They wandered around the fields, some of them were of bananas while many of them were of cottons and chilies. He rarely came here but today Haaris was kind of excited to see it with his family, Ghazal and Adam.

Now they were having a nice and peaceful dinner at one of his favorite places and he was intently watching his wife who was trying to teach Adam how to eat with a spoon.

"What's your favorite dish?"

"No faves. Anything."

Ghazal answered with a small smile. No favorite side of the bed, no favorite dish, no arguments in decision-making. Didn't she feel the urge to do something for herself? Why she was so selfless?

"How can you be so..."

"So what?"

"You don't live your life to the fullest."

"Perhaps we are travelers of the same boat, Haaris."

Haaris was unable to say anything at her quick response. He had many things to say, many things to share with her but his mind got stuck at that statement, it was the same thing he had told Azkiya at their first meeting. Giving a tight-lipped smile to his wife, Haaris got busy with his remaining dinner.

***

"Ma, can I shtay here for shometime to watch tv?"

"Only for some time then you have to sleep."

"Promish."

Ghazal giggled as she locked her pinky finger with her son's. They had just returned from the fields and having a great dinner. For the first time in her life, she had seen an actual restaurant and had a real dinner, just because of Haaris.

She made her way to their room leaving Haaris and Adam to watch tv. Ghazal wanted to change into comfortable clothes before Haaris could see her not because of the sleeves but due to the scars and wounds her sleeves used to hide.

"What are these?"

Ghazal's heart jumped to her throat hearing Haaris's questioning voice. She had just removed her abaya and Haaris had entered the room at the worst timing.

"Nothing."

Ghazal tried to move past him to the washroom only to be stopped by Haaris's tight grip on her arm. How could she share this thing with him? She didn't tell anyone about her husband's abusive nature, about his addiction and now Allah had made her stand on the threshold of the most difficult situations.

"These are not nothing, Ghazal."

Ghazal looked at her arm where Haaris was gently tracing a brown scar, she remembered when she had gotten it.

"Don't ever try to ask me about my whereabouts."

She winced as the candle flame burnt her arm, biting her lower lip to smother her screams.

Tears had begun to roll down on her cheeks, didn't know why they were flowing? Because of the haunting memory or because of the fear that Haaris had come to know about her deepest and darkest secret.

"Who did that?"

Haaris traced a faint mark just above her elbow.

Ghazal whimpered as the broken bottle made a deep cut above her elbow, leaving a trail of blood in its way.

"I can never love you. You filthy woman."

His touch was waking up every single dark memory which she had buried deep down in the pit.

"Let me go, Haaris."

Ghazal wiggled her arm from his grip but failed. These weren't the only scars which had covered her arms and wrists, there were still more hidden behind-

"You are mysterious, Ghazal. "

She quivered in his hold, as his warm breath touched her cold eyelids. His lips gingerly stole a droplet of tear which had been stuck in her damp eyelashes. Her heart was beating wildly in her ribcage thinking about Haaris, what he would do next?

"Was it your husband?"

"Please leave me, Haaris."

Ghazal again tried only to tighten his hold on her arm but it was gentle in some way, she had bored too much pain in her past. The first time she was seeing the stubbornness of her husband and now was fearing it.

"I don't want to hear his cry from tomorrow. He is a headache. "

His belt left a dark imprint on her soft skin resulting in a silent wince from her. Blood was slowly oozing out from the line which had marked her wrist and half of her arm.

That dilemma, that pain was beyond tolerance. It was getting more than enough for her, she just had to move away from there. Ghazal hardly pushed on Haaris's chest loosening his hold.

"Stay away, please."

She harshly wiped her tears which were making her vision blurry. Haaris just stared at her, as he was right. He wasn't wrong, either. He wanted to know about those scars, he was her husband, he had the right on her and over them too.

"You don't trust me, Ghazal, do you?"

Who could think that four years old scars could become painful all of a sudden? But here Ghazal was going through the same pain and agony. She just nodded her head, helplessly.

"I trust you Haaris, that's why I am here as your wife. But just don't ask me about them."

"But I am your hus-"

A knock on the door paused their argument, it was baba who had brought sleeping Adam to their room. After carefully laying him on the bed, Haaris was ready to resume the conversation but ignoring her enquiring husband Ghazal moved into the washroom to avoid everything for the time being.