Chiaroscuro

Haaris quickly came back to his senses as the heavy slap left a burning sensation in his right cheek. In front of him was Ghazal, who was looking beyond furious. Her eyes were furrowed in anger, glaring at him with full force. What the hell happened to him? Why he was standing on pavement that too with Ghazal? What he did to earn that painful slap.

He slowly rubbed his cheek to ease the pain, thinking about the slap of a few moments ago. Ghazal was looking so much in anger that first-time Haaris was feeling like a coward and didn't want to make eye contact with the lady.

"Are you out of your mind, Mr. Haaris?"

Haaris discouragedly looked at Ghazal whose voice was giving every indication of her anger. He slowly gulped the ball of worry, " What happened? "

"Are you serious?"

Ghazal said exasperatedly. He really didn't know what was happening? But something was more than serious, some passersby were giving them curious glances.

"You don't remember the incident of a few minutes ago, do you?"

Haaris hesitantly shook his head, unable to understand the reason behind Ghazal's cold tone and anger.

"You don't remember that you were about to hit by the truck due to your carelessness."

Ghazal said rhetorically, now she was looking surprised, eyes widened slightly. Haaris pondered over the fact, he was about to get by truck. When the hell did that happened? He didn't remember leaving his house, let alone coming in front of any vehicle. Ghazal was still staring at him with a confused gaze and all he wanted was to smile seeing her so much awed, he would definitely paint this someday. The shades of surprise on her face were making his heartbeat at a different rhythm. But smiling in front of her at this time, when she was not looking less than a lioness, would surely be enough as inviting his own death.

"Do whatever you want to do."

Ghazal said irritated maybe due to the awkward silence and moved past him. The evening was slowly widening its wings, he turned around and found Ghazal getting away from him with every moment. His legs quickly got pace and Haaris caught up with her in no time.

"Was it true, what were you saying there?"

"Why will I lie?"

Came a blank response, her tone clipped and containing zero degrees icy coldness. She fixed her handbag on her shoulder, taking longer strides in her attempt to move away from him.

"I don't understand one thing. " he said looking at Ghazal who was walking without acknowledging his presence beside her, "Why you always save me? Why can't you let me die?"

"You are accepting that this was another attempt of suicide. "

"Stop answering my questions with questions, Ghazal."

Ghazal suddenly stopped and turned fully to face him, her expressions dancing between anger and agitation.

***

Was he for real? That man was looking utterly confused when Ghazal slapped him but what was another way of pulling him back to his present.

She had just left the hospital when the noise of horns and people yelling caught her attention. Getting to the source of that noises, she found Haaris Yousuf standing in the middle of the road, his eyes felt like they had been stoned. The truck driver was yelling at him but Haaris was not looking at him let alone respond to him.

"Keep him in the house. He is a danger to people. "

The truck driver began to advise her rudely thinking her as Haaris's relative or something when she came close to them.

"What happened? "

"He was trying to kill himself by coming in front of my truck."

Ghazal's heart lurched at its place in worry, an uneasy feeling building up in her gut. Again he tried to kill himself. She looked at Haaris who was still staring in a void, devoid of the situation around him.

"See he doesn't say anything..." The truck driver hit his arm and Ghazal quickly shoved off his hand away from Haaris, " Behave yourself. "

Ghazal hesitantly held Haaris's hand and pulled him with her towards the pavement away from the curious glances. She tried calling his name many times, shook him but the last resort left with her was slapping him and that worked.

Alhamdulillah.

Ghazal knew what had happened to him, he was drowning in depression. Something was bothering him greatly and in that guilt, he was losing his mere senses. Sometimes his questions irritated her and now this question was beyond limit. Why she always save him? What he would do if he found Ghazal lying in the pool of her own blood? Or worse in front of a vehicle ready to get hit?

Ghazal turned around fully to face him, her face was burning with anger. " Because I want you to see dying naturally, not like this fidgeting with every breath."

That answer was enough to make him silent and she resumed her walk. But Haaris too resumed his walk with her, slowly and steadily.

"Why don't you seek any help to overcome this?"

"What's this?

Haaris asked air-quoting this, his eyes were shining with amusement and Ghazal was surprised to see this kind of shine after what had happened some minutes ago.

"Help about your life, your sadness."

Haaris chuckled, " I tried to", his eyes boring into hers, "But she clearly rejected my proposal."

Ghazal's head whipped towards him who was now walking slightly ahead of her, pushing her into the pool of her own thoughts.

***

He needed to do something about his betraying thoughts. Seeing Ghazal after one month in that get-together, his heart had beaten in a different sort of manner pushing him into a pit of anxiety, nervousness and more than that a feeling of guilt.

How he could forget about Azkiya? His first love. Haaris just wanted to remind himself about Azkiya, and what could be better than that one drawer which held every memory related to her. Her love letters, her gifts, her photographs.

Haaris pushed open his room's door and came in front of the drawer with hurried strides. But to his utter surprise, it was empty. His mind went blank and a wave of anxiety hit his senses. Who touched his stuff? Nobody was allowed to do that. He quickly pushed close the door and a note grabbed his attention.

If you want those things back, come to my place - Yawar.

In just ten minutes, he was standing in front of a smirking Yawar, who was not looking a little bit of ashamed of his deed.

"What type of sick joke is this?"

Haaris barked unable to control his anger and in return, he got a menacing chuckle.

"I thought you will never come."

"Give my stuff back, Yawar. Give it back."

Yawar laughed at his order and moved aside. There on the floor, Azkiya's memories were cruelly scattered on the floor.

"Where's the fun if don't get back anything in return? "

"What do you mean?"

Haaris was sensing something terrible was waiting for him.

"Marry Dr.Ghazal for me."

Haaris felt like a heavy boulder was dropped on him. What Yawar would get if Haaris would marry Ghazal?

"Why it will profit you?"

"Listen my whole demand Haaris." Yawar said with a shake of the head, " You will have to leave her after one month when she will be drenched in your lov-"

Haaris stopped his filthy speech with a hard punch on his face.

"Don't take her name with your filthy mouth." Yawar laughed wiping the blood drop from the corner of his mouth.

"We are no different, Harry. Don't forget I can do anything. "

With that Yawar moved towards the scattered papers and lit his lighter, about to drop it at any minute.

"You won't do anything like that. Why are you pulling Ghazal into-"

"Oh my! Am I sniffing something like feelings here. Don't we know, she is hard to get girl. It will spice up the whole play. "

Haaris fisted his hands, his nails biting the palms. He wouldn't stoop so low, how would he play with her feelings? What about Adam?

Adam.

What about Azkiya? How could he see her memories getting burn in front of him? He dejectedly held his head unable to make any decision.

***

The sun was just above the horizon, slowly descending and about to take rest from its daily chore. Ghazal looked at the flock of birds as they chirpily moved back to their shelter, after a long day. She wasn't tired but somewhat nervous regarding her life as it was unfolding itself. A grip on her hand halted her thoughts and she moved her gaze away from the orange sky towards her father, who was observing her.

"What happened, Ghazal? "

"I don't know."

Ghazal said shaking her head, confusingly. She didn't have any idea, what was happening. But one thing was sure, she was thinking about Haaris Yousuf and his behavior, a lot these days. It was some kind of sympathy, empathy but why she couldn't tackle.

Being a doctor, Ghazal was not allowed to sympathize with her patient but now in the case of Haaris, the caring and protective human being inside her was slowly creeping out by cracking the shell of that tough psychiatrist.

"You wanted to talk about something. "

Ghazal fidgeted with her fingers, a ball of worry making its way to her throat. Previously, she didn't feel any kind of shame in sharing her life events with her father but today something was different.

"You know Haaris Yousuf, he attempted two suicides in two weeks."

"Allah Mercy." The words of her father echoed around her and his hand tightened its hold on hers, unconsciously. " How's he now? What was the reason? " His gaze was questioning just like his voice was.

"I don't know the proper reason yet but he is fine now. There's something more."

Ghazal started to share his childhood events with her father. It still felt weird, how could a mother leave her child just like that without no looking back. Haaris was a part of her and how a mother couldn't miss a single piece of her soul. Love is sometimes selfish but Ghazal never knew that it would snatch the chaste feeling of motherhood too.

"After coming to know about his past, I can understand him. "

"And you want to help him."

Baba spoke the exact words out of her. She nodded meekly, "Only if you want to. You meet him and-"

"No. I won't. "

Ghazal was confused at her father, "I have spoiled enough of your life by marrying you to Farzan. Now I want you to make your decisions. "

"You haven't spoiled my life, Baba. I know, Farzan never gave me the respect, love but I loved him and I have Adam with me. What else I can ask for? "

Baba quickly took her into his protective embrace and kissed her head, "I am proud of you Ghazal. I want Allah to give you every type of happiness. "

She nodded, tears slowly cascading down her pink cheeks. It was difficult for her to think beyond Farzan, her life. But Ghazal could feel a slight nervousness, agitation hearing about Haaris and also remembering about that truck incident with him, like she needed to do something about him, for him. Firstly, she was somewhat irritated about her thoughts which were revolving around Haaris Yousuf. Didn't know what he was facing, what he was going through and if he again did something like hurting himself, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

Giving her all the decisions to her Lord, she had decided to take the biggest step of her life. She didn't know what her future was holding but Ghazal had full faith in her Lord and could face the coming situations with his company.

"I have just one request for you." Ghazal moved her head up to look at her father who was now looking at her with a smile, "You will invite me to your wedding. "

Ghazal furrowed her brows at him for some time and afterward, she too joined her laughing father with a chuckle.