╔═════¦☾Not merely butterflies, but a memory that gradually fades☾¦═════╗

As I stood amidst the throng of people, their energy buzzing in the cramped room, I found solace in a dimly lit corner. There I was, the quiet girl I once was, indifferent to the notion of love that swirled around me like a faint whisper.

My thoughts drifted, yearning for the orientation to conclude. It was a small comfort I clung to, a way to convince myself that I was content in my detachment.

Soon after, the girl arrived—a vibrant spirit, bubbling with energy, her presence instantly captivating everyone around her. I found myself mesmerized, watching her glow, yet, for some inexplicable reason, I felt a sense of calm instead of excitement. Then, you stepped into the spotlight, equally magnetic. It was as if an invisible force drew me toward these two remarkable people, even though they hadn't done anything extraordinary yet.

I couldn't help but wonder: why had I begun to feel a connection with them when all I had wanted was to remain in my own quiet world?

All I desire is to immerse myself in the world of books, to fill my sanctuary with words, the one place where solitude has always been my companion. It's there, in the act of writing, that I discover the true essence of my freedom. 

Yet, in the light of your presence, I find myself compelled to create the masterpiece I have longed for, the one secret I must cherish and protect. As those thoughts consumed me, a rush of warmth painted my cheeks a vivid red.

I can never forget those moments, no matter how many times I faced bullying and insecurities hurled my way. You were always there, accepting me just as I was. Under the warm sunlight, we huddled beneath the same umbrella, the three of us juggling our backpacks as we raced home together or at least to my place. Those days were filled with laughter and joy, despite my introverted nature. What a wonderful time it was!

At that moment when I applied my first layer of makeup, I found myself tangled in a mix of feelings—especially with that girl, the one I couldn't help but envy for her skill.

When I looked in the mirror, embarrassment washed over me, leaving me unsure of how to reveal it to you. I wasn't fully convinced I could embrace this newfound femininity. But then, instead of laughter, you greeted me with a warm smile.

Your lighthearted teasing followed, all in good spirits, and it wrapped me in a sense of comfort. That smile of yours felt like a balm to my insecurities, a memory stamped in my heart that I'll cherish forever.

Once, I found myself struggling in the world of academics, feeling overwhelmed and out of my depth. Yet, no matter the challenges I faced in my studies, my heart couldn't resist the pull towards you. You were the first to sweep me off my feet, the one who brought light to my darkest days.

It wasn't just your actions, but simply your presence that calmed the chaotic storms within me. In those moments of uncertainty and despair, just knowing you were there was enough to bring me peace.

In the end, they were merely butterflies, fleeting and delicate. The truth settled heavily within me, a reminder that I was nothing more than a friend in your eyes. Still, I'm grateful for the moments that made me feel as if I could truly love.

Though you're not mine, and those cherished memories will remain just that—cherished—I can't help but feel a pang in my heart whenever your name crosses my mind. It's a bittersweet feeling, one that dances between joy and heartache.