Deans POV
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It's been two weeks now that dad died and Sammy has been on my ass about not showing my emotions, that I'm not dealing with his death. But I am dealing I'm just doing it silently, alone. Sammy always asks what's wrong with me but I don't know. I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do! I'm gonna kill all the sons of bitches I can get my hands on. I grab the keys to my baby and head out the door of bobby's place. I see Sam heading towards me probably for another lecture. "Hey dean, where are you going?" Sam said following me to the car. "I fixed baby yesterday, I might as well start her up and take her for a spin." "Alright, you want me to go with?" Sam said like I was a child. "No man come on! I don't need you to babysit me, I'm alright!" "Okay, just tell me when you come back. Alright." "Fine." I said starting the impala up and driving away. I just need to get my mind together. I'll be good, I'll be just fine. The next thing I see is I'm at the graveyard mom and dad are buried at. I'm losing my mind. I swore I wouldn't come back here the day dad was buried. What am I doing to myself? I start walking up to moms grave. "I'm sorry mom. I failed you like I'm failing everyone else. I couldn't save you, dad and what if I can't save Sammy." I felt warm tears start to go down my face as I wiped them away. "I remember you used to tell me that angels were watching over us, in fact that was the last thing you ever said to me." I fall to my knees feeling weaker then I've ever felt before. "I miss you mom, I have missed you ever since that day. Dad taught us how to hunt, I went on my first hunting trip alone when I was 17. What kind of life is this mom? You know most of the time I would rather die then live this life but I'm holding it together for Sammy because he doesn't deserve that.  I love you mom." I started getting up off the ground and took a glimpse over at dads grave. "I'm supposed to be dead, why did you save me? The truth is dad I can't take it anymore, this job has cost me, us everything so why is it our job to save everyone. Why can't someone... Never mind." I walk back to the kinda feeling devastated everywhere. I start baby up and head back to bobby's to see if I can get a decent case to work on.