quick rundown of how characters work in this story: dan's text is in bold font, phil's in regular, jade's (dun dun dun) in italics, and extra characters (who will be otherwise specified) are underlined. usually, though, there won't be anyone other than the main two

C'mon, Phil, pick up!

Are you alright back there?

Yeah, my friend's just...Phil? Yeah, it's me. 

Obviously.

Stop saying that! Literally every time I mean
 it's standard phone call—never mind, you're
an asshat, it doesn't even matter. I just need to
 tell you—

Whatever it is, hurry, they're calling my name.

I'll only be able to hurry if you actually let
me speak! I wanted to say that I'm going
to be a little...

Got to go! They're calling me. I'll look for you in the
back, yeah?

No, Phil, I—Argh!

Boy troubles?

You could say that. He's not my boy, but he's
certainly a pain in the ass sometimes. 

I guess that's bad in this case?

Majorly. Hey, could you maybe try to push
 the speed limit a little? He's waiting for me at
his audition and I just can't leave him hanging,
you know?

I'm a taxi driver, not a magician. Traffic will move
when it wants to move...but when it does, I'll
push the limit. For you.

And a tip, I assume?

And you said you were new to the city.

But what if I don't want to wallow in pity? What if—
what if I want to fight? To grab my torch, lift it high,
and curse whatever God put me on this wretched 
earth? To leave the city and the whole world behind,
and drag you with me? Past the moon, the stars. All the 
way to infinity, that's where we'll be,

Together.

I love you. 

Always.

Always.

Dan! There you are. I couldn't see you.

Yeah, I was by the door. I got here...perfectly 
on time, but they wouldn't let me in the actual room.
Asshats, right?

Right. 

You did well. 

It's nothing you haven't heard a thousand times 
before. I mean, you could probably do the 
audition with me.

But I couldn't rock it like you did. You're going
to get a callback this time, I just know it.

You say that every time.

And, one of these times, I'm not going to say
it and you won't even get a thank-you email.

I'd rather completely bomb it than get another 
pity email, I swear to God.

Don't jinx yourself.

I'D RATHER COMPLETELY BOMB IT THAN GET 
ANOTHER PITY EMAIL!

I swear to God.

I SWEAR TO GOD!

Jesus fucking...let's get out of here before
you get mugged again, shall we?

Good job today, Mr. Lester.

Thank you so much, Mrs. Dunbei, I hope you 
have a wonderful evening. 

Same to you.

Buttering up the judges. Nice. 

Shh, she probably heard you!

BUTTERING UP THE JUDGES. NICE.

Shut up!

At least I did mine outside, right?

Let's leave before we get mugged
and murdered. 

Kill or be killed, Phil. I'll flank left, YOU FLANK
RIGHT?

I hate you.

You love me. 

Not right now I don't. Let's go home.