Reshu

After the Delhi event, our business boomed. Through references we had revived many orders. Skhika like a superwoman decided to take care of logistics and staff. ''Reshu don't you think we should hire a little of permanent staff''

''That means paying them every month. Won't that be a financial liability'' Shikha smiled; ''honey we are taking up all kinds of events , so we would be busy all year. If we hire contractors we end up paying more, here we will hire people on lesser packages. We give them job security and they would settle for lesser packages''

''Ok, I am fine if you are'' I went back to my laptop, doing nothing. I was just staring at the screen . Lost in my own world . ''Missing Yash'' Shikha interrupted my thoughts.

''N..No. Why would I miss him. I was just thinking about what you said'' I am sure am looking like a clown because Shikha laughed aloud at my words . ''It's ok Reshu, it happens '' Popping some snacks in her mouth she walked out of the room giving me a mocking grin. ''Arghh !! Yash'' Pushing my chair back I decided to take a break moving to the window overlooking to majestic Arabian sea. The rise and fall of waves made me smile. I had opted for sea facing Apartment because water calms me , it helps me break from lingering thoughts and right now I am looking for break from thoughts about Yash's .

Since our meeting, he had clouded my thoughts and even my dream. This disturbs and confuses me to the core. When he messaged me about attending a wedding and some match making hawk Sweety aunty, I really wished he rejected all girls. He did, but then I recalled he is committed to someone and is here for her. I message Shikha about going to the beach before leaving my apartment.

It was a pleasant evening and sand under my feet appeared cool, moving along the shore I smiled looking a roaring waves. I wanted to move out of all the thoughts and insecurities I feel regarding Yash. He is my friend , the best one , nothing more. I have been reminding this to myself quite frequently now . Yet I keep forgetting it. My heart jumps to my mouth when I think of his girlfriend. How must she be? Beautiful, intelligent or snob like Sheetal, who is just waiting for another more promising option which she can grab and crush Yash's heart . Shaking my head I huffed once, whom so ever she is. She should know, that she is really lucky to have a guy like Yash swooning over her . If she dared to hurt him once, I will smash her face hard. A sudden protectiveness surged my body.

I groaned, not again . I came here to get rid of his thoughts and all I am doing is planning the butchery of his current girl friend. I laughed , I have always been like this for my close ones. I had even warned Vivek against breaking Neha's heart. I still remember his blank expression when I kept listing all horrible things I would do to him in case he makes my dear friend cry. But Yash, I don't know why ?  I am worried about him, he isn't one those guys who could move on in a day. He is someone who puts his heart and soul into a relationship. He does his all to make it work, I had seen that while he was with Sheetal. She had made him something else, I would never forget the night he called me all broken.

It was around 11 in the night , me and Neha were busy revising the topics for our internal test next day. Neha was asking and I was answering , we always did that while revising. I had turned my phone on vibrating mode to avoid the irritating message tone. Neha asked me something and I started answering in points, just then my mobile started vibrating. I ignored once but it kept on going, thinking something I decided to check. To my surprise it was Yash, he never called this late, that worried me. A sense of discomfort and fear gripped my mind, picking my mobile I walked out into the lobby; ''Yash''

My heart sank as I heard his violent sobs; ''Why did she do this to me Resh? What wrong did I do to deserve this betrayal'' he was literally screaming in pain. Through his voice, I realised he was drunk. I cursed , why do guys have to be Devdas after a heartbreak. I understand it must be painful , but why destroy oneself for someone unworthy. ''Yash where are you?''

He replied after a pause; ''Where am I? I don't know Resh, I think I am lost. Do you know where am I''. Just great !!! this what I was looking for , a midnight adventure . I thought and ran back to my room, speaking to Yash I wrote a note and gave to Neha , she immediately call Vivek and conveyed my message. ''Yash, you need to tell me where are you'' I asked softly

''Why did she do this Resh, it hurts...so bad. My chest feels heavy, painful'' he muffled painful sobs echoed my ears. I wanted to smash Sheetal's pretty face, but that was something I decided to push for some other time. That moment Yash was important; ''Yash listen to me, tell me how did you get there''

''Bike'' there was a pause ''Resh I was a fool, I should have realised soon. She had stopped holding me during the bike rides. I am a fool, right Resh?'' his voice slurred , I had to keep him busy; ''No Yash, you were just too good for her . She is a fool''

''Good! ME! Then why did she betray me Resh?'' I rubbed my forehead , this wasn't going anywhere. That's when I heard the background, even at this hour I could hear honking and moving vehicles. I took Neha's phone; ''Vivek, it sounds like a highway too me Do you know any place near the high way where he can go''

''Resh I think I know where he could be, there is a dhaaba. We usually go there for booze party. I will call you I am leaving, for now keep him busy''

I assured Vivek on keeping Yash busy but I myself wasn't sure what am I going to talk to him about; ''Yash did you have dinner?'' I just said whatever came to my mind first. ''Dinner! No I didn't .''He slurred again; ''Resh you know she loved eating at Windys , I took her there every weekend. We ordered what she liked. Then Why did she do this'' I face palmed, my simple questions seemed to remind him of all about her.

''She is bad Yash, you are a good guy. You deserve better'' I tried consoling ; he started laughing; ''I am too good to stick too. She said my company is suffocating'' His pained seeped into my veins and I closed my eyes to control my tears. How can someone get so insensitive towards that one person who loved them unconditionally? Yash was one of the best of male species , gentle sober down to earth . He was so real without any fabrication or false attitude. Out of the whole lot, he was one of the most approachable seniors. Sheetal was a certified bitch in my list. Clearing my throat I asked; ''Yash, could read any boards or holdings nearby''

''Hmm, I know how to read and write Resh'' he snubbed me angrily , I smiled; ''Prove it'' I challenged .Yash mumbled something which I couldn't make out, then he started signing and I slapped my head; ''Yash are you there''

''Yup!!! I am, sss.. still alive Resh'' He slurred . ''Read the hording Yash, please'' Again there was a song and then finally he answered my prayers; ''Ghanshyam ka Dhaba, see I can read. Now you believe'' He sounded annoyed, I wrote in down for Neha and she quickly informed Vivek. Thankfully he knew the place. I kept Yash busy talking random things, around 1 AM it was Vivek on his phone; ''Reshu, I have him'' I took a deep sigh of relief. I could hear Vivek and one of his friends speaking to Yash, on the other hand Yash was sounded like a baby being dragged to school.

Sound of kids squealing brought me back to present. I just wish who so ever he dating, she should just be as empathic as Yash. Someone who doesn't take his chivalry to be his weakness. Some one who could be there in time of need. Someone who could love him , like I do .

As if struck by bolt of lightning, I lost my balance and crashed on the sand. I was sweating and breathing hard. My feet felt like jelly and body seemed to had have lost all its energy. 'What the heck' Did I just thought of being in love with my best friend. Wiping my forehead I pulled my knees to chest. Hiding my face in my knees , I took deep breaths 'Calm down girl, you just over reacting'. Yes you love him what's the big deal Oh !! I hate my conscious. No.. No.. No, this can't be happening, My rational mind chided my heart . Yes I love him, but in the way I love Neha and my other friends. . It felt light realizing that I wasn't in love with Yash. 'Don't you like him' asked my heart. I do but not as a man, its just as a friend , best friend. 'You are fooling yourself, admit it you are scared to love' . Yes I am, too scared to get hurt and scarred. I never believed in love and together for forever kind of stuff. People do find it , but its not for me. I do care and love Yash, but only as a friend , nothing more and it can never be.

Satisfied with my own explanation I smiled. I realized how stupid I have been debating myself on my own feelings , that to for no reason, slapping my head I threw my back on the sand laughing on my own stupidity Once my laughter died, I started at the sky. It had turned grey with a tinge of orange. The winds around were strong and I could hear the sea roaring. It was about to rain, a drop landed on my cheek making me smile and then came down the other landing on my forehead, I giggled. Though I enjoy rain, but getting drenched is not so me . But today something is different, I want to feel each and every drop on my skin.  I don't know why I am behaving different, may be because of my busy schedules. Suddenly it dawned on me that I haven't taken a break in years and I need one desperately. But where to go is the question ? Going home is long chucked out as I am not in mood of dolling up for prospective grooms. I could to Yash, I smiled ; 'And you say you aren't in love with him' Stupid conscious. Anyways I wasn't too sure about going to Yash for a vacation. The clouds roared and I decided to go back. On the way I kept thinking of a good vacation spot. When I entered my apartment Shikha gave me a are you kidding me look; ''Since when have you started dancing in rain Reshu?'' She stared at me as id I have grown horns. I just rolled my eyes; ''I guess I have the right to make a fool of myself sometimes''

''Off course, its just that, its too unexpected with you'' Shikha laughed as I stared at her , after changing I joined her for coffee when my mobile pinged; 'will be in Goa next week' I grinned wide reading Yash's message. Just then the clouds roared loudly, jumping of the couch I went to balcony extending my arm to feel the water pearls. ''Reshu, I hope you discover the reason of loving rain soon'' Shikha spoke leaning on the wall next to me. I gave her a questioning look, she just smiled and went back doing her work.

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