20 years.
That's how long Katie got in prison. With chance of parole after 10.
It all happened in a blur. The court case. Katie testifying. April testifying. It was so unbelievable to me that it legitimately felt like I was watching my own life on a sick and twisted TV show.
Katie didn't have much of a case- at all. How could she? She premeditated murder against her own sister. There was absolutely no words for it. I could tell that when April took the stand she was absolutely terrified to even look Katie in the eyes. But she did. And she said, "You tried to kill me. Take away my life. And for what? Because you were mad I started dating the guy you liked? It's insanity. I am lucky I am alive today. And I almost wasn't at the hands of my own sister."
The few times I looked at Katie- who was dressed down in a white button down and glasses, her blonde hair tied in a ponytail- I could see she barely had any emotion behind her eyes.
This was my sister. An attempted murderer.
I noticed she looked like she had lost weight in jail. She was quite pale. But she didn't look like she regretted a thing from what I could see.
My parents cried at the verdict. I could feel my eyes tear up, but Ava held on to my hand.
"It'll be okay." she whispered to me.
It was even crazier seeing Katie be pulled away by the guards. And knowing that she would be close 45 by the time she got out.
I personally thought she should've gotten longer. I didn't want April- or my family- to be in danger ever again.
After everything was said and done- April felt the same way.
It was now a year since she had gone missing. And now she was back. And our sister was in jail for trying to kill her.
A few nights after the trial, we sat outside in our backyard together. Just me and her. And a couple of beers between us.
"What is she tries to kill me again after she gets out of prison?" April said. She was smoking a cigarette, staring off into the night sky.
We were sitting at the patio table across from each other.
"Then I'll have to go to jail for actual murder." I said.
April chuckled, "How fucking crazy is this?"
"I never imagined in my life that something like this could happen. To anyone, really."
"But it happened to me. And you. Our family." April said.
"Mostly to you though."
April blew smoke out, "You know...I was worried. That none of you even missed me. That the words Katie said to me- you all thought it was true."
I looked at April in the dark, "Are you serious? April...we looked for you every single day. You were the complete forefront of my mind. I can't even describe how much I missed you."
"For some reason my mind kept telling me the opposite." April shook her head. She was still herself- her funny, personable, bubbly self. But there had been a light dimmed in her. Anyone could see it.
I then had a thought.
The journal.
"Wait out here. I need to show you something." I said, and then went into the house.
It was eerie walking by Katie's room. Knowing she would most likely never be back in this house. And she was going to be locked up for an extremely long time. It was extremely rough and hurtful telling Connor what had happened- my dad did. He seemed shocked, but he brought up something interesting. He told my dad that one time at a beach bar, a girl came up and flirted with him when Katie was grabbing them drinks. And when Katie got back, she joked she would kill the girl who spoke to Connor. But Connor said he got chills- because it didn't seem like a joke. Knowing her, it wasn't.
I had hid the journal under my bed since April had been home. It made me extremely sad to see it- to remind myself of how hopeless, confused, and frustrated I was. Because I was in other ways now- but not about trying to find April.
I grabbed the journal and made my way back downstairs. I felt myself shaking, excited to show April how much I missed her. That none of Katie's words were true.
I went back out onto the porch, and handed April the  journal.
She looked at me, "What is this?"
"Just read it. It's all from when you were gone." I said.
"Do you mind turning on the deck light? I'm going to dive into this right now."
I turned on the deck light and sat in silence as April opened up the journal- which I had written in every single day- and every single sleepless night that April was gone.
I saw her chuckle a few times. But tears rolled down her face. She took her time reading what I had wrote. Turning through each page, looking at each paragraph sometimes a few times.
After a while she closed the journal.
"You really missed me, huh?"
I laughed, "Absolutely."
"This means more to me than you'll ever know, Josie. And I am so fucking happy to be home." April stood up, walked to where I was sitting, and gave me a giant hug.
When she sat back down, I asked her, "What was it like? Your life the past year...if you don't mind me asking."
April sighed, "Lonely. Scary. Full of paranoia. I didn't go out during the day. My roommate, Callie, would grab food for me or I would just do Doordash or something. Everywhere I would look I thought Katie would be there. I would hit the strip club at around 9 PM. You know- there was one time where I thought Katie was there. I saw a girl who wore clothes she would wear...the blonde hair. I literally almost threw up on stage."
"I can't believe you went through all of that." was all I could say.
"I thought I was never going to get out. That I would have to live in that kind of fear forever. When I saw Gabi, and she told me that she had met you- it felt like my lifeline. That I could possible get back home one day."
"Did you think you were going to come home in that moment?"
"I knew eventually. But I had to go about it in the safest, correct way. Because I knew that if I didn't- Katie would kill me." April said, staring ahead.
"Well now she's locked up for a long fucking time. She has no chance. And we will never have to see her again." I said.
"Do you think you'll ever visit her?"
The question shocked me. I honestly hadn't even thought of it. "I don't exactly know how to answer that. I hadn't even considered it."
"I think I might one day. Maybe in a year or so, once I've healed more. I want to confront her. Where I'm safe." April said.
"You deserve that." I said.
I wondered if she'd get her chance.