I never really gave a fuck about Valentine's Day. It was actually April who basically instilled it in me that it was a Hallmark holiday I shouldn't give a single fuck about.
But I knew that Ava really loved it. And in front of me she tried to act a bit "too cool for school"- like she didn't love it. But I wanted Ava to be able to fully express things she liked to me. So, I decided that even though she didn't want to admit she loved Valentine's Day, I was going to do something special for her.
I wanted to pretend like things were normal. Or as normal as they could possibly be. I wanted to create a night for Ava that was really special. Valentine's Day was on a Friday, so I decided that I would take her out to dinner at a really nice restaurant and surprise her.
There was a Japanese restaurant called Suki a couple towns away that was extremely nice and well known for their amazing sushi. I knew I wanted to take Ava there- so a few days before Valentine's Day, I made a reservation. It wasn't easy, but I was able to get an 8 PM reservation for the two of us.
On Valentine's Day I texted Ava:
Wear something nice tonight, I am picking you up at 7:30.
I could tell she seemed happy about it. I wanted to do something special for her, considering all that she has done for me in this past months especially. And even before that. For just being my best friend and dealing with me.
I didn't have Katie's help today to pick out an outfit and do my makeup. But Kylie stepped in.
She sat on my bed as I curled the ends of my hair. I settled on a short black bodycon dress that had three quarter length sleeves and a faux leather jacket.
"You look like April." she said to me. She was in a flannel and sweatpants. She still hadn't gone back to her fashionista ways. I didn't blame her.
"Hopefully that's a good thing." I said.
"It is. She would definitely approve." Kylie grinned.
"Then this is definitely the right outfit."
"I think it's super sweet that you're doing this for Ava." Kylie said, "I hope a guy does something like this for me one day."
"You still haven't been with anyone, have you?" I asked her.
"Do you mean like...in a relationship or sexually?" she looked at me.
"Both, I guess." I could tell by how she was looking at me- she was hiding something.
"Please don't repeat it. But I had sex back in December." she said.
"With who?"
"This guy that I'm friends with- Ronnie. It was my first time. I just wanted to get it over with when I was in high school." Kylie said, her cheeks turning flushed.
"I get that. I was the same way. How was it?" I said.
"It was fine. Didn't last very long. I did it one other time with him. That was a little better." she said, "I preferred it when he...you know...went down on me." she said shyly.
"So you two really have been hooking up." I chuckled, "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. Just make sure you're being safe."
"Condoms all the way." she giggled.
"For you." I said, and we both laughed.
I felt oddly antsy as I pulled up to Ava's house. For what? I had no idea. I think it was me just second guessing and hoping she liked what I was doing for her. I had flowers- pink roses- and her favorite candy bars- Twix and Kit Kat's in the front seat, as well as a card where I just wrote to her that I loved her. I texted her I was there and she walked out of her house.
God, she looked fucking stunning. She had on a form fitting dark red dress with a sweetheart neckline that showed her cleavage. Her hair was lightly curled at the ends. I watched her as she walked to my car, and she caught my eye as I watched. She smiled at me.
I handed her the flowers, candy, and card as she got in my car. I saw she had a small gift bag in her hand.
"You look so pretty." I said to her, and then leaned over and gave her a kiss.
"Please, you're the one that looks amazing." she said, and kissed me back. And then we sunk deeper into the kiss. And deeper. And it got even more passionate. Thank god it was dark and no one was watching because I decided to just go with it and reach over and sneak my hand up under her dress. And I used my fingers just how she liked it.
Not even 3 minutes later she came.
"Wow." she said, breathless.
"Now let's go get dinner." I said, putting my hand on her knee.
For the first time in an extremely long time, I felt as normal as I possibly could at dinner. I told myself the entire time that I was going to just try and have a nice time with my girlfriend. And that is what we did. Ava and I got quite a few sushi rolls and we just talked. When we first started dating, I was a bit nervous to make the transition from being best friends to then dating. Was it going to be awkward? How would conversation flow? But it felt so natural to me for her to be my girlfriend.
"Can we get the mochi for dessert?" Ava asked me, "Mochi is delicious."
"I've never tried it, but sure. Green tea sounds good." I said, looking at the menu.
"You'll love it." Ava grinned at me.
We got green tea and strawberry mochi along with some tea, and Ava was right I did love it.
"I'm having a really nice time with you tonight." I said to her.
"And the night can continue on at my house." she said to me.
"That sounds great."
"Thank you for doing this, Josephine. It really means a lot to me that you planned this night out for us." Ava said, taking hold of my hand.
"Anything for my girl." I said. "I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate everything you do for me."
"I'll always be here for you." Ava said, and then I noticed my phone vibrating on the table. I glanced down at it. My mom was calling me.
"I'm ignoring that." I said, "I just want to be able to spend this evening with you."
But then my phone rang again. And a third time.
"You should get that." Ava said to me.
"You're right." I said, grabbing my phone. "I'm going to go outside. I don't want to be rude while people are eating."
I walked outside into the brisk February air. "Hello?" I said to my mom.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner." my moms voice came over the phone, "But this is very important."
"Okay." I said, nerves filling my body.
"A body was found a few hours away in Lancaster." my mom said, and my heart sunk as I realized where this was going.
"Is it April?" I asked. Was this it?
"We don't know. We have to identify it." my moms voice came over the phone. She sounded drained.
My heart was beating out of its chest. "Where? I'll come there now."
"Your dad and I are about to leave. Kylie isn't coming with. It's close to Lancaster. It's far, Josephine."
"I don't care how far it is. I'm coming." I insisted.
"I'll text you the address." my mom said.
For a moment after I hung up I felt like I was going to pass out.
This couldn't be it. This couldn't be how this ended.