{edited}

May POV

I eat my cereal in silence as Harry does the same.

It's been this way for a week.

You can imagine how awkward it's been.

Harry scrolls through his phone doing whatever and I do the same. Once I'm done eating, I go to the kitchen and wash out my bowl.

As I'm cleaning out my dishes I used, Harry waits beside me to clean his.

"Your Mom called me to ask if we wanted to go over for dinner." My voice is low. I'd rather not speak to him but it's for Anne.

"When?" He asks.

"This Saturday." I say while turning off the sink. "5 o'clock."

"I have a meeting then."

"You can't move it?" I ask.

"No, it's an important meeting."

"Every meeting to you is an important meeting." I reply back.

"Because meetings are usually important." I sigh. "You can go if you want."

"I'll go to my boyfriends parents house for dinner without their son?" I ask with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah, why not. You and my Mom seems to be close now a days."

"She called me because you wouldn't answer your phone."

"I'm busy."

"Too busy for your own Mom?" I ask with confusion.

"I'll call her back, happy?" His eyes roll.

"She'd be happy if you went."

"Stop worrying about my family, May. Go worry about your own." My chest pinches.

I don't reply I just leave the kitchen look for my shoes. "Where are you going?"

"I'm done." I mutter.

"May-"

"Fuck you! Honestly fuck you!" I finally let out. "I'd fucking kill to have a Mom that wants me at a dinner or wants me at fucking all. You take that shit for granted Harry." I spit. "I don't even know who the hell you are anymore." He opens his mouth. "These past two years I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with you. I don't know if you're sad because of April, I don't know if work is stressful, I don't know if you feel like shit all the time because your first love and your daughter died. I don't fucking know and you keep pushing me out."

"I'm sorry."

"That's it? I'm sorry?" I scoff with wide eyes. I just shake my head and lean down and pick up my shoes.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." I say while slipping on my converse.

"When will you be back?" My eyes glare up at Harry.

"When you're not a dick, so uh you tell me."

"May, please just-"

"Just what? Stay? I've stayed for fucking 2 years in hopes you'd become happy again. I hoped this fucking act you're in was a phase. But it's been 2 years!"

"So you've been wanting to leave me?" His eyes look into mine. His voice is soft.

"No, Harry. I fucking love you and I've been trying to move past the fact you treat me like garbage, but I can't live like this. We don't even sleep in the same room anymore." I say. "We don't talk, we don't go out, we aren't us. And your excuse is that you're busy or you have
work.

Work has nothing to do with how you treat me. If I wanted to be treated like fucking shit I'd be having dinners with my family every weekend." I spit. "But I don't, because you showed me that I don't deserve to be treated like that and I deserve better. You showed me that it's not my fault my Mom doesn't like me, or my Father. You showed me that I do deserve happiness
and love like every other person in the world. That it's not my fault that I can't control the things people make fun of me for. Without you I wouldn't have realised any of that. Do you know how much I come off as a push over staying with you after how you've been treating me?

Not even a push over I seem fucking weak. But I've put up with this for the past years because you didn't leave me when things got rough. In high school you still were with me after you knew what type of shit people put me through at school, or how my parents treated me, or my relatives; anyone, you stayed. When we lost April and I was depressed and felt like living didn't matter, you didn't leave me.

You helped me and forced me to become better for my own sake and because you didn't want me to be like that. So, I let you practically call me a gold digger, I let you make me feel less, I let you yell at me, I let you leave me waiting for you like a complete moron, and whatever else, but I can't anymore.

I have my own career I'm trying to build and you know nothing of what I'm doing. I want to become someone and not rely on my boyfriend to pay for rent, food, bills, whatever. I hate that I can't pay for a lot of my own stuff and I thought you knew that I hate relying on you for money. Yet you threw the credit card in my face like I wouldn't care and it wouldn't hurt my feelings." My chest is rising and falling heavily making my stomach twist.

"S-so you want to breakup?" Harry asks moments later. His eyes turn glossy.

"I don't want to break up but I can't live like this the rest of my life." I reply. "I don't even recognise you anymore. If whatever you're sad about is about April then you need to talk to me because I understand what you're feeling. Everyday I feel like I lost her all over again but I try to keep going. But you treating me like how you've been makes me become less and less capable of trying to move forward."

His hand runs through his curls. "Please don't leave." I remain silent. His eyes look at me.

"I can't be around you anymore if you're this Harry." I say. My voice is low.

"I'll work on us more, okay? I'll try to be home more. Just please don't leave."

"You need to work on you. You need to figure things out for yourself. For your sake, Harry." I pause. "You haven't noticed anything different with you these past years? Y-you think you've been acting normal?" Harry remains silent. "You yelled at me for looking through your tee shirt drawer to find something of mine. I can't remember a time before where you ever raised your voice at me."

His picks his lower lip. "I-I've uh," He pauses. "I've been taking some pills." My heart stops for a moment. "They're prescribed but uh that's what was in there. I didn't want you to find out."

"W-what kind of uh pills?"

"Like the ones you were on but slightly different. Probably a little more strong as well."

"For two years you've been uh taking these? What d-do you take them for?"

"They ease my nerves and feelings." Harry's voice is distant.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I started taking them when you started to get better and I didn't want you to worry about me and you become sad."

My hands run over my face. "I assume you're still on them?" He nods and I sigh. "So you're saying the pills are making you act like a dick?"
His eyes fall to his feet. "We're in a relationship, we're supposed to help each other and tell each other everything. If you wanted to take the medicine you should've told me so I could help you become happy again."

"I didn't-"

"Not everything is about me Harry." I say. "I know you were trying think of me but you just didn't want to admit to me that you got depressed. If anything what you thought was going to help didn't because you aren't kind to me now and you're a robot most of the time."

"I'll stop taking them, okay?" He looks into my eyes.

"And what? That's it? We'll go back to normal? Like nothing happened?" I ask. "I think it's best if we live apart for now."

"Please, no."

"Until we both are on the same page and both are okay I don't think we should be with each other. I'm obviously not helping you or making you happy. This is isn't me ending us because I don't love you because I do. It's just that you're not the person I fell in love with and when I think of you, I think of how sad you're making me. I sometimes don't even want to come home because I don't know what rude thing you'll say to me."

Harry does something he hasn't in ages which is hug me tightly.

"Please don't leave me May." I feel his hot tears fall on my neck. "I'm so sorry." My own eyes burn with tears. "P-please don't l-leave. I'll work on us a-and treat you right." I feel my teeth bite down on my lip harshly. "Please May I need you."

"Harry-"

"We'll do couples therapy a-and I'll be more open w-with you. O-okay? I won't go to California, I'll s-stay here so we can work us out." Harry speaks through tears. "I-I won't take the pills a-and I'll work on being a better boyfriend to you. I won't ever hurt you like t-that again because you don't deserve it. I just can't be without you May. I'm sorry." His arms hold me tightly and his fingers grip onto my shirt. "I love you so much I'm sorry for how I've been treating you." He starts to cry heavily again and his head shakes against me.

My heart it pounding roughly against my chest. "Please." He croaks sadly. "If I don't improve how I'm acting and treating you we'll break up." My teeth dig into my lip.

I don't know what to do.

A://N

hello (:

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What should may do?

~lauren