May POV

I still hate sleeping alone despite the fact I've been doing it for a while now.

I hate looking to the opposite side of the bed and not seeing Harry.

I hate that I have no one to cuddle up to and kiss before I fall asleep or when I wake up.

It also gets lonely sleeping in a big mattress by yourself. Especially if you know your boyfriend is in the other room sleeping alone too.

We're both getting ready for our first session now. I'm scared. Mostly for the fact I'm going to have to talk about stuff I don't want too. That stuff includes how I feel about April. I still deep down believe it's my fault. I was too stubborn to stay in bed.

I exit the bedroom and see Harry with his iPhone pressed against his ear.

"I took a day off today." He repeats. "Yes, all day." His hand tugs through his brown hair. "No, I'm not coming in later. Tomorrow just summarise the meeting for me, okay?" Soon he hangs up and looks to me.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Harry smiles softly. "You look pretty." I glance down at my outfit. I'm wearing blue jeans that are folded up at the bottom and a grey sweater. My hair is in a low messy bun as well.

"Thanks." I say with a small grin. He just nods.

"Lemme just brush my teeth then we'll get going." I lick my lips and nod. In the mean time I go to where my jacket is and slip it on. It's almost winter and I'm extremely cold. I'm always cold but that's a different issue.

***

We decided to drive there together. We took his car. Now we're in the waiting area waiting.

Harry's fingers tug through his brown curls different amounts of time throughout us waiting. I wonder what he's thinking. Or what he does or doesn't want to talk about.

Soon our name is called back and we both stand. His eyes glance to me for a brief moment before we step into the office.

"Do you guys usually sit far away?" The women named Dr. Faron asks while sitting in the chair across from us asks. "Move closer, yes?" Harry and I do until a little gap is between us. She smiles warmly.

"How long have you guys been together?"

"With or without breaks?" Harry asks.

"Without."

"Five years." He answers for us.

"With?"

"Six."

"You guys broke up for a year?" She starts to jot stuff down.

"Yes." I answer.

"Why?"

We start to explain why. Which means we have to talk about the long distance. Thinking about the long distance makes me sad, knowing what happened to us.

"Wow okay." We all snicker lowly. "What brings you guys in as a couple today?"

"We've been having problems with our relationship." I reply.

"Since the split of a year?"

"No. We lost a uh baby 4 years ago." Her blue eyes soften.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I bite my lip. "First, I want to establish how you guys are with one another in your relationship. I assume it's been bumpy between you guys but I feel like for now, we should focus on why you guys are with each other, despite everything else yes?" Harry and I nod. "Do you guys live together?"

"Yes." I answer.

"Do you guys sleep in the same bed?" Our head shakes 'no'.

"I sleep in the bedroom and uh he sleeps on the couch." My voice is low.

"How long has this been?"

"A few weeks." Harry says.

"Do you miss sleeping beside one another?"

"Yes." We both answer at the same time making my heart warm. Dr. Faron smiles.

"How'd you guys meet?" I keep quiet and let Harry answer.

"I'm best friends with her sister, Sadie." He speaks softly.

"When did you guys start dating?"

"When she was 17, I was 18." I look down at the tattoo of a bird on my wrist to distract myself from why he wanted to date me in the first place.

"May, why are you looking down?" I look back up to the therapist.

"Force of habit I guess." I reply softly. I lick my chapped lips and listen back in.

"Has your guys relationship always been troublesome?"

"Yes." We both answer.

"How so?"

"Trust issues, family issues, personal issues, that stuff." I answer this time. Dr. Faron nods and jots some stuff down.

"Do you love each other?"

"Yes." Harry and I say at the same time.

"Do you trust each other?"

"Yes." We both say again.

"Are you both willing to move past the things that make your relationship troubled?"

"Yes."

"Good." A warm smile goes on her lips. "Why are you guys with each other? I'll let Harry answer first then you May."

"She's my best friend and girlfriend in one." Harry speaks. "She's the only person that makes me happy or makes me smile when I don't want too. I like that she relies on me for stuff because May doesn't like to rely on people a lot. In my opinion, we just have this type of bond that is something indescribable. The thought of her not being mine, isn't something I like to think about because my future and my life years from now I picture May being apart of." My heart pounds against my chest and my eyes sting.

"May, what about you?"

"He's one of the only people who hasn't treat me like I had mental issues because of a stutter I've had. He never pushed me to become someone who wasn't me. He is like my best friend and boyfriend in one. We joke around a lot and are relaxed with one another. I don't really know how to explain that better besides I feel the most comfortable with him. I don't want to be with anyone else because I don't think I can have this type of connection with another guy. When I think of having a family with someone and growing old with someone, I think of having all of that with Harry. I want him to be through that with me."

Dr. Faron looks at the both of us and speaks. "Over the years has your love for one another make each other lives complicated? By this I mean has loving each other ever hurt you?"

"No." We both answer. She nods.

"What stuff through these sessions you want to accomplish? May, I'll start with you?"

"I don't think the both of us worked through our daughters death. I think as much as we both wanted to help one another we didn't and we kinda grew apart. I want to work on that and our ability to work through complicated things and not give up in a way." She nods.

"Harry?"

"All of what May said and opening up to one another. We don't do that very well." She nods again.

"This week I want you both to sleep in the same bed. I want you both to feel normal sleeping beside one another again, okay? Get into the groove of things. Try to cuddle and kiss too." My teeth graze over my bottom lip. Harry and I both nod.

***

It's around 9 at night and Harry's on the phone with someone from work.

I'm currently eating the pasta I cooked. My phone rings and I see Ellie's name go on my screen.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey May! How's it going?"

"Okay, you?"

"Good. Guess what?"

"What?" I eat a noodle.

"I'm pregnant!" Her voice is high and excited.

"How far along are you?" I ask curiously.

"Three months now." Last year her and husband got married. "I'm so fucking nervous and I just can't believe it you know?"

"I bet you'll be the best Mom, El."

"Thanks May. You're the first person I told so far."

"That's hard to believe Sadie wasn't."

"No, I'm telling her tomorrow. I wanted to tell you first."

"Well I feel honoured." We begin to catch up and what not. She insists that I should come over her house for a family dinner but I decline because I'd rather not see my Mother.

A://N

Hello :p

I hope you enjoyed the chapter x

~lauren