Harry POV

It's Saturday morning and Finn and May are still sleeping.

I got the letter from Lily two days ago. I'm just nervous to open it.

I'm seated at the table tapping my foot against the floor nervously.

Just do it Harry.

My fingers undo the envelope and I take the paper out. There are a few pages. I let out a deep breath and start reading.

To Harry,

By the time you read this, I know it's been years since I've died. I know this because my Mom never goes through my stuff and when she finally decides too, I hope these are the first things she finds.

I'm writing this as if it has been years since I've died. If it's been a few years and you're still in high school, well, then take what I'm saying as advice and take what I say to heart.

Before I get into some sad things, well this whole thing is sad so let me rephrase.

Before I get into my "advice", let me just say some things that I hope you maybe already know.

I love you.

I will always love you.

You were my best friend before my boyfriend so that means we go pretty far back.

I want to thank you for all the memories you've given me. I want to thank you for all the first times you've let me had. I want to thank you for showing me love and what it feels like to be in love.

Overall, thank you for being mine when you were.

I will always remember the first time we kissed at your Christmas party Freshman year. It is and will always be my favourite memory of us. We both were so young and everything was so cliche but I loved it. I know we used to joke about how it was cliche for a first kiss but a perfect memory to tell or think about.

I've never been much of a writer. Putting what I think to paper isn't my strong suit, so I can't really describe with words how much I love you and how much I'm sad that I left you.

Now, let's get into that "advice"...

I hope you find a girl who you love.

I hope you make a family with a girl you look at and feel butterflies in your stomach.

I hope you grow old and die with this girl who you might not have met, or you have.

I have a strong feeling my mom won't give you this until you do meet this girl which might or might not be years later. But I hope you do read this when you do start falling in love with this girl, so you know somethings.

I don't want you to think about me while being in love with this girl who is lucky as anything.

Now, you being you might be thinking why?

Why would I just forget about her?

I'll tell you why.

No girl should feel like they're never going to be as loved as the first love that died.

No girl should feel like their other is still in love with the first love that died.

Your new love should have all of your attention and all of your love.

If you're reading this years later, I hope you managed to do this.

If you're reading this and haven't found that girl yet, or you have and you're worried I'm going to be mad, know that I'm not.

I want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you're meant to. This includes, love, a family, and happiness.

I never want you to be alone because you feel like you're cheating on me. Or you feel guilty or feel bad to let go.

I know you love me.

I know you will always love me.

And that's why I'm okay with that I'm saying.

That's why I'm okay with you saying "I loved Lily. She was my first love."

Yes, I won't be your last love, but at least I showed you that you could be loved. And I showed you that love exists. You showed me the same.

Just because you were my first and last love, does not mean I will be your first and last. And, that's how it has to be for us.

If you've messed up a lot with this girl who you might like or love but don't know, I want you to know it's okay to let go of me. I want you to know it's okay if you don't visit my grave every month, or at all.

I want you to know you don't have to think about me because I want you to be in love with someone who makes you happy. I never want to be the reason you can't show your love to somebody else.

I don't want you to think of me and be sad. If you do think of me and just think i was your first love and go about your day.

This girl, whoever she might be, deserves all of you Harry. I know you'll find her eventually, but I hope you know all of this so when you do want to say the big L word, you don't feel bad.

I wish I could give you more closure with everything Harry. I wish I could tell you if we would be together forever or maybe break up. I know me telling you that would be easier than giving you some sad advice or tips.

If you're married and reading this, all of this applies still.

Don't shut her out if you do think of me. She deserves to know what you think. If I were her, I would want to know what my husband was thinking, even if it might be the first love that died.

If you have kids, I hope your son is a little mama's boy like you are (I highly doubt you aren't anymore). And I hope you have your little girl that you're protective over.

Overall, whenever you're reading this I hope you're happy.

If you're reading this and you're sad, please don't be. That would break my heart. I never want you to be sad Harry. You never deserve to be.

This is the end of my letter / note / whatever you want to call this.

If you're wondering how I am, I'm good. I know that's not really an answer considering no ones where they go after they die, but I died happy. So, I'm good. Don't worry about me, okay?

I love you so much.

And I know you loved me.

I hope you let go if you haven't already

All the love, forever and always,
~Lily x

I'm sobbing.

I wish I got this sooner. I would've done things differently.

Overall I wish I knew what Lily wanted from me after her death.

"Harry?" I hear May's tired voice ask while walking toward me. "Why are you crying?" Her arms instantly wrap around me.

I don't respond. I can't talk if I do I'll just stammer on my tears.

Her empty hand looks at the papers and I see her head tilt.

"Was it a letter from Lily that you just got?" I nod. She kisses my cheek and hugs me.

"I did everything wrong with you." I manage to say.

"Stop Harry." May says.

I knew what Lily wanted me to do deep down. And that was for me to let go. Yet, I still haven't.

"I'm sorry." I murmur.

"I know you love me." Her fingers run down my hair. "And you know I love you. In the end every worked out okay. Yes, you figured out the hard way how to move past Lily's death, but now you have a form of closure. You know what she wants and what she thinks of you. You don't have to worry anymore." My wife murmurs against me. "I know I don't know what she told you in the letter, but I hope you got what you were looking for all of these years."

"I did." I say softly. My chest rises and falls. "Please know I love you. You know that right?"

"I do." May kisses me. She smiles softly. "Don't feel guilty about anything. That's not what that letter was for."

"I love you so much." Her blue eyes look into mine.

"I love you more." She hugs me again. My head goes into her neck.

A://N

Have another update lol

Goodnight

Please comment !!!

~Lauren