Harry POV

I wake up to someone poking my cheek. "Daddy." I hear Finn whisper.

"Hm?" I tiredly groan. My head starts to pound.

"We have to make b-breakfast for Mommy." His voice is low. My eyebrows furrow. "It's her b-birthday t-today."

Fuck.

"No it isn't." I screw my eyes shut.

"Yes it is. It's the uh," Finn pauses. "One-Five of the mo-month. It's also on the c-calendar in my ro-room."

Shit.

I sigh. My eyes reopen and I see Finn looking at me. "D-Did you forget?"

"I didn't purposely forget. I just," I pause. "I've been distracted lately." I reply. I sit up and get out of bed.

Finn and I go downstairs. My mind keeps drifting off.

"S-Should we make h-her French toast?" My heart pinches.

"I don't know how to make that." I tell my son.

Why can't I remember how to cook now? I used to always make pancakes and waffles. Now it's all washed over my head.

"I can make," I pause thinking. "Cereal and that's about it."

"She deserves more than cereal on her b-birthday." Finn murmurs. "Can we call Grandma and ask h-her to make them?"

Today and tomorrow is the viewing. Wednesday is the funeral.

"Uh," I pause itching my head. I let out a shrug. "I'm sorry."

"She doesn't even h-have a cake today." I hear my son say sadly.

May walks into the kitchen. "Good morning." She greets with a yawn.

"Morning." I reply back.

"Morning." Finn says. "Happy B-Birthday." May kneels down in front of him.

"Thanks bud." She kisses his cheek and hugs him. Finn hugs back. "Why don't I make breakfast for you guys?"

"But-" Our son says.

"No but's. Go sit down in the living room, I'll get you when it's ready." Finn nods against his Mom then walks away.

Silence falls between May and I. "Happy Birthday." I murmur.

"Thanks." She smiles warmly. "How are you?"

"Tired." I say. "I would make breakfast I forgot how to make anything and-"

"It's fine." Her hand holds mine. She kisses my cheek.

"No it's not." I huff.

"It's just my birthday." May says softly.

I always go all out on her birthday. Even before we had Finn I used to wake up early, decorate the whole house and make breakfast.

"I'm sorry I forgot." I murmur softly. She pecks my lips and starts getting ingredients out.

May POV

Before I went to the hospital yesterday I went to Des's house to pick up the recipes. I'm trying out the one for pancakes. I always like the way she made them.

I wish Harry wasn't alone when she passed. I feel like he got so many flashbacks to Lily and what he had to then.

I hate that he's guilty about forgetting my Birthday. I don't want him to.

He sits at the counter. His eyes are off somewhere else. "Should we tell Finn?" I ask Harry.

"I don't know." Harry replies. "How would we tell him?"

"By explaining it with examples?" I come up with.

"I guess." He murmurs.

"I can do it." I tell Harry.

"Okay." I frown at him. He looks so sad.

I finish off the pancakes and set them on the counter.

***

Finn and I are in his room playing with his toys. "Did G-Grandma like my c-card?" He asks me.

"She did." I murmur softly with a smile. "I wanted to talk to you about her real quick."

"Okay." He puts his toys down. He looks up at me. A shadow of his dimples on his cheeks.

"Do you remember the movie Marley and Me?" I ask. "It's the one with the dog." I add.

"Yeah." Finn says. "That was a sad movie." I nod.

"You know how Marley was really sick?" Finn nods.

"Then he died." My son adds.

"Yeah, well um, Grandma has been really sick lately. And she was in a lot of pain."

"Like Marley?" Finn asks. I nod. "Is she better?" I shake my head.

"Sadly, she isn't."

"When will she?"

"You know how Marley passed away because of his illness?"

"Yeah."

"Well, y-yesterday Grandma passed away." His eyebrows furrow.

"But I-I thought only dogs c-could die. That's why I give B-Baxter my food so-sometimes because I-I know he's go-gonna die."

"No, honey. Humans um p-pass away as well."

"So I can't see Grand-Grandma again?" I nod. He frowns. "I didn't say g-goodbye." I stroke his cheek and kiss his forehead.

"Your Dad is really sad about this so if he acts distant or doesn't talk a lot, know it's not because of you." Finn nods. His blue eyes look into mine.

"Does that mean one day you'll die?"

Jesus.

"Uh, y-yeah." His eyes well up. "Don't cry." His head nuzzles into me and his arms wrap around me.

"I don't want you to die Mommy."

"I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon." I kiss his cheek.

"You p-promise?"

"I promise." I hug him tighter. His head still nuzzles into me. I feel his tears on my neck.

"I love you Mommy."

"I love you more." I stroke his curls.

"I doubt t-that." I laugh and kiss his cheek. "Is G-Grandma alone now?" Finn asks.

"No." I say. "She's with her parents, her grandparents, April, and she's looking down at us."

"Who-Who's April."

"Daddy and I had a daughter before you that passed away."

"Oh." Finn says. "I bet she'd be just as a-amazing as you Mommy." My heart swells. "Was Grandma i-in a lot of pain?"

"She was." I murmur. "But know she loved you so much, okay?" Finn nods against me.

"Does she k-know I loved her a lot too?" I smile softly.

"She does." I say.

"Is Daddy going to be o-okay?"

"He will. We just have to be t-there for him."

"Okay." Finn replies. "What about Gr-Grandpa?"

"He'll be okay too."

***

We're at the viewing now.

Sadie and Ellie are here, which I thought was nice. I know Sadie was upset considering she knew Anne since she was 5.

Adam is watching Finn for Harry and I.

"How are you doing?" A voice asks behind me. I turn around and see Niall.

"As best as I could." I reply softly.

"Harry looks pretty beat up."

"Yeah." I frown. "They were really close."

"Oh yeah." Niall agrees. "I wish my Mom and I were close."

"You're telling me." I say with a small chuckle.

"Today is your birthday, isn't it?"

"Y-Yeah." His face scrunches.

"Happy Birthday, then."

"Thanks." I smile sadly. My eyes look to Harry who's talking to his cousins.

"Don't let him push you away. He did that to me when Lily died." I bite my lip and nod. Niall squeezes my shoulder with a friendly smile then excuses himself to talk to Harry.

I see Des standing a distance away from everyone making my eyes sting. I walk over to him. "Hello." I greet.

"Hi." Des replies with a gentle smile. "Uh, in Anne's hospital room I found a photo of your ultrasound." I bite my lip. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." I say.

"She must've been happy."

"Very." I smile softly.

"I have the photo if you-"

"No." I say. "I have another one and all. I want that one to be with her." Des nods with a weak smile.

"Okay." He replies. "Does Harry know?" I shake my head.

"I don't really know when to tell him, you know?"

"I'd do it today. It will make him happy."

"You think?"

"Yeah." Des tells me. "How's Finn?"

"Okay. He wants to see you." Harry's Dad smiles weakly.

"Does he know?" I nod.

"I wish this didn't have to happen when he's so young, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." I bite my lip.

"Happy Birthday, by the way."

"Thanks but my mind really isn't on my Birthday."

"It should. You only get so many." Des tells me. "Plus, Anne wouldn't want everything to be about her, especially if it's your birthday. Speaking of that, your cake is at my house." My eyebrows furrow.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"After Finn left on uh the 13th, she knew she wasn't going to make it to now. So, she made you your cake in advanced." My eyes sting. He smiles weakly. "Then once she was done she felt really sick and started coughing up blood." I frown.

"I wish I knew sooner so I could say thank you to her." I admit.

"She knows you're always thankful for whatever she does. So, she knows." I bite my lip.

"If you need anything Des, let me know. Alright?"

"Thanks May."

"Of course."

***

I'm driving home.

I don't really trust Harry to drive considering he dazes off every second.

I'm starving though.

"Do you mind if we stop for food real quick?"

"No, it's fine." My husband replies.

I pull into McDonald's. I know most people think it's gross but I like their fries and shakes.

"Do you want anything?" I ask Harry before I pull up to order.

"No, I'm fine."

***

Finn is in his room sleeping. I thanked Adam for watching him and he says that he enjoyed and it wasn't a problem.

Harry and I are getting ready for bed.

My bump is starting to become noticeable. I see it now when I stand side ways, which is cool.

I sit down in bed and Harry soon follows.

He moves close to me and rests his head on my pillow. "Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant." I say. His head raises and he looks at me.

"You are?" I nod. "When did you find out?"

"The 13th." I murmur.

"How far along are you?"

"Four, close to five months." His eyes widen.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks. His voice low.

"When I was going to you said that your Mom was in the hospital." I say. "So I waited." His eyes look sad. "Your Mom was the first one I told."

"She was?" I nod. "So, she knows?"

"Anne was excited about it." I bite my lip. His eyes fall to my stomach.

"I haven't noticed that you look pregnant."

"Neither did I." I chuckle softly. "It's a little noticeable now, but not that much."

"Is that normal?"

"The doctor said it was." Harry nods. "Are you mad?"

"That you're pregnant?"

"Or that I didn't tell you."

"No." He replies. He kisses my cheek. His hand rests on my growing bump, making my heart well. He lays back down beside me and I follow.

"We're going to have a little us again, soon." I hear him murmur making my eyes sting. Hold his hand. "Thank you for telling me today."

"Why?"

"I have something to make me happy everyday." I bite my lip. "I love you."

"I love you more." I kiss his cheek.

A://N

LONG CHAPTER ???

comment goal: 50???

tysm for reading !!

i didn't know how else to make may tell finn that anne is no longer with us in the book, so that's that

add me on snap! jkharrystyles is the user

~lauren