Song inspiration for this chapter: Figure It Out – Royal Blood

Figure It Out: Haymitch

Nothing here to see

Just a kid like me

Trying to cut some teeth

Trying to figure it out

Nothing here to see. Just a soul like me. Trapped in a foolproof system. And yet, she tries to figure it out. Year after year after year. Until it breaks her.

Nothing better to do

When I'm stuck on you

I'm still here trying to figure it out

The same rhythm year after year after year. But suddenly you're there. The loophole in the system. So, I kill my time with you. And try to figure you out.

Getting hard to sleep

Blood is in my dreams

Love is killing me

Trying to figure it out

It's getting hard to sleep. The blood is in my dreams. Especially here, where one's reminded of the bloodshed everywhere. I once escaped that blood. I don't want to pay that price again. I'd rather die than give in to that love again. Because love kills. Starting with my loved ones. Everything and everyone who gets too close to me. Then me, but slowly and insidiously. I'm still trying to figure it out.

I let it go, 'cause I won't see you later

And we're not allowed to talk it out

I said I'd go, put myself on show

But I'm still trying to figure it out

Eventually, I let it go when I realize this ride has no end. So, I let it happen. Year after year after year. I ignore you. Forget about you. We're not allowed to talk it out – to become friends or anything at all. It's dangerous that we still do. For a while. Because I won't see you again anyway. No. We're already on different sides. Soon, the gap between the sides will be insurmountable. But you don't know I planned it out. I'm ready to go, expecting never to see you again. Because we're not allowed to figure out this thing between us.

I broke my shoe, tripped and fell on you

But you didn't know I planned it out

I said I'd go, yeah, I won't see you later

And we're not allowed to figure it out

And despite all the planning, despite all the caution, I can't forget you. Years have passed. The end is near. I said I'd go, yet I can't turn away from you. So I drink, trip, and fall on you. You don't know I planned it out. You know nothing. You don't understand. At least that's what I tell myself. Even though all I wish for is for you to figure it out.

-

Dear readers,

here it is, finally. After a little over six years, this fanfiction is coming to an end. And what a journey it has been. Anyone who has read this story has witnessed my beginnings as a writer and could practically watch how my style evolved over the years. When I started writing FIO, I was just 15 years old. I still remember those afternoons I voluntarily spent in school after classes - writing this story day by day on the ancient computers in the dusty library. I can still vividly recall the smell of that library. Wow.

And the many breaks I took because I was writing this story parallel to probably the best time of my life: my childhood. The best and worst things happened during that time, and this fanfic was there through it all. Some of it the German readers can even marvel at in my comments at the end of some chapters, haha.

And how many times I promised to upload more punctually or frequently. I think I've broken no promise more often in my life than this one. My German readers really got the worst of this, getting a chapter per month or all three weeks while all you English readers just got chapter after chapter on a weekly basis lol. I haven't met any deadline I set with FIO. Nevertheless, I have no regrets. This story is perfect as it is, with all its flaws. I wouldn't do anything differently because it reveals just as much about me as it does about this wonderful fictional world Suzanne Collins has given us.

This fanfiction exists today only because of a song that I couldn't get out of my head during my ultimate Hunger Games phase back then. "Figure It Out" by Royal Blood, which was used in a Samsung advertisement. Now you also know where the title for the fanfic comes from. You can read part of the lyrics above. I hope using the lyrics is allowed, lol. The song has always been from Haymitch's perspective for me. His attempt to understand Effie; to figure out why she's so different yet so much like most people in the Capitol. But when it came to writing it, suddenly it became Effie's perspective. Because it's actually Effie who has to see through the Capitol's propaganda, who has to understand that she's on the wrong side. You've read the result of that. When I started, I had no idea where this FF would go. I just started writing. I never expected this.

I want to thank you sincerely. For your patience, for your loyalty, for your support! You are the best readers I could have wished for. Above all, I want to thank all my loyal readers who have showered me with reviews over the years. Thank you for your thoughts, impressions, questions, and tips! It has brought me so much joy to exchange thoughts with you.

If you're reading this, then I hope I have touched you with this story, made you smile or cry. Because if I've achieved that, then I am truly satisfied. Then I have achieved what I set out to do. Because that is my only mission.

To conclude, I'll share three playlists with you here. I have several playlists for different sections of this FF (Capitol, Prison, District 13, and the end of the war). But these playlists are for Effie, Haymitch, and Hayffie. Maybe you'd like to listen. These are songs I've been listening to since 2016 while I was writing Figure It Out.

Effie:

Wings – Birdy

Be As You Are – Mike Posner

Hall of Fame (feat. will.i.am) – The Script

Fix You – Coldplay

Breathe (feat. Neev) – Seeb

Just Like Fire – P!nk

Hide Away – Daya

Style (Slowed + Reverb) – Taylor Swift

Stranger X Feel Something

After Dark – Mr. Kitty

Black Out Days (Slowed) – Phantogram

Daddy Issues – The Neighbourhood

Dancing In The Moonlight (feat. NEIMY) – Jubël

All The Things She Said (Slowed) – Tatu

Haymitch:

Everyday (feat. Rod Stewart x Miguel x Mark Ronson) – A$AP Rocky

I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Seeb Remix) – Mike Posner

Sober – P!nk

Hometown (Slowed + Reverb) – twenty one pilots

Another Love (Slowed) – Tom Odell

Habits (Stay high) – Tove Lo

Hayffie:

Keeping Your Head Up – Birdy

Oh My Love – Rea Garvey

In The Arms of a Stranger – Mike Posner

Figure It Out – Royal Blood

Don't You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds

Ho Hey – The Lumineers

Cosmic Love – Florence + the Machine

The Scientist – Coldplay

Swing Lynn X 505 – Twin Cabins, Arctic Monkeys

Wildest Dreams (Slowed + Reverb) – Taylor Swift

Sweater Weather x Another Love – DJ Lilli

Safe And Sound (TikTok Remix) – Capital Cities

Wonderland – Taylor Swift

Out Of The Woods – Taylor Swift

Always Forever (Cover by L3MON) – Cults

Save Your Tears – The Weeknd

Only Love Can Hurt Like This – Paloma Faith

In the End – Stefanie Heinzmann

That's it from me then. If you're interested in the prehistory of Figure It Out, feel free to check out An Era Awakens which I will start uploading next Monday! Otherwise, you'll find my Pinterest board for FIO under the username ccskyllen.

I wish you all the best for the future!

Best regards,

Skyllen :)

11.06.2016 - 06.09.2022