Have you ever been to one of those low-budget carnivals? The kind put on by well meaning but horrendously unqualified parents, school officials, etc? The kind that were just underwhelming enough to look charming, but be completely boring to anyone under the age of four? Yeah, the Mystery Shack Fair was like that, but with 300% more tetanus.

Still, a fair was a fair, and Mabel wasn't one to complain. The rides, the activities, the prizes, the terrible food. It was all the kind of thing she lived for. She was going to have a great time. She just needed to remember not to touch anything metal.

"There she is, Mabel," Stan said as the two surveyed the fairground. "The cheapest fair money can rent. I spared almost every expense."

Suddenly, one of the carriers for the sky lift crashed down next to the two.

"... I think the sky tram is broken..." Dipper said, poking his head out of the carrier. "... Also, most of my bones..."

Stan laughed. "This guy. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you two. I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."

Mabel and Dipper eyed the papers they were handed.

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?" Mabel asked.

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" Stan responded with a grin.

Dipper sighed. ' Yeah, that's pretty much what I expected. '

"Soos!" Stan called as he approached the handyman. "How's that dunk tank coming along?"

"Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines," Soos said as he finished blowtorching part of the tank.

Stan gave the target an experimental knock, and smiled when he saw the seat barely move.

"Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu!" Stan exclaimed. "There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah," Soos agreed, "except for like, a futuristic laser arm cannon."

"Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya?" Stan asked as he began digging through a toolbox. "Darn thing went missing."

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it," Soos suggested.

"Oi!" Stan groaned. "You've been spending too much time with those kids. Alright, let's see, where'd I put that thing...?"

The two adults were so busy making last second preparations, that neither noticed a bald man using a certain missing screwdriver to tweak his watch. Or that doing so caused his jumpsuit to camouflage with his surroundings.

Much later...

"It's 12 o' clock!" Stan announced through a screeching megaphone. "The Dunk Tank is now open!"

The various tourists gathered covered their ears at the obnoxious sound, glaring at the old man sitting in the dunk tank.

"Step right up and dunk me, folks!" Stan told the gathered crowd. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs! That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?"

Several of the frustrated customers tried dunking the old man, but even when one of them actually managed to hit the target, Stan's seat didn't drop.

"Ahahahaha!" Stan laughed maniacally. "Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"

Dipper cast a glance at his grunkle, rolling his eyes. ' He's having WAY too much fun with that. '

But the boy's face lightened up a bit when he heard soft snickering next to him. It seemed Wendy also thought the rigged dunk tank was a riot.

With the dance party at the Mystery Shack being a great financial success, Stan announced the next day that he was going to do another event to "bleed 'em dry." Dipper had managed to ask Wendy if she wanted to hang at the fair, and she actually said yes! And better yet, Dipper had managed to keep himself from jumping for joy in front of her! Maybe he was starting to get the hang of this whole "functional human" thing.

"How do they get them into this shape?" Dipper asked, looking at their question mark shaped corn dogs. "It's unnatural."

"But Dipper," Wendy said, "they're so..."

She held her corn dog next to the "DELICIOUS" sign, putting the question mark shaped food at the end of the word.

"... delicious?" Wendy finished hesitantly.

Dipper chuckled at the joke, and soon Wendy joined him. And he was even managing to carry on a decent conversation! One that didn't involve depressing personal crap! Booyah!

Wendy's laugh ended abruptly when some mustard fell from her corn dog right onto her flanel. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back."

Dipper nodded as Wendy walked off, munching on his corn dog of questionable (ha) quality. He smiled at the retreating red head, for once totally happy.

"Look at you two!" Mabel said as she approached her brother, two sticks of cotton candy in hand. "Getting all romantic at the fair!"

"Shh!" Dipper hissed. "Ix-nay on the omance-ray. I decided not to bring that up today. I'm just going to have a nice day to hang out with a friend, and the LAST thing I need is that friend finding out anything too soon."

"C'mon, Broseph," Mabel said. "You can't keep putting this off. If you don't tell her soon, you're going to miss your chance."

"I will tell her," Dipper said. "Just not today. This is really important to me, Mabel. I know I can't overthink things, but I also can't just blurt it out at the wrong moment. That could ruin my chance of even being friends with Wendy."

Mabel raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, fine. Just remember, I tried to warn you. ... Hey, do you smell a gallon of body spray?"

At first Dipper thought his sister was making some kind of joke, but he quickly caught wind of the smell. He turned and saw none other than Robbie "Black Hoodie In 90o Weather" Valentino. Dipper tried to repress the scowl trying to make its home on his face, but only managed to downgrade it to a simple frown.

"Hey," Robbie said as he approached the twins, "have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?"

"Nope," Dipper responded, annoyed hoping Robbie would take a hike before Wendy got back.

Robbie seemed unconcerned with Dipper's answer and swiped some of Mabel's cotton candy from her.

"Hey!" Mabel exclaimed, eyes burning with fury.

"Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans," Robbie said as he began showing off his tight clothing by flexing his noodle legs. "Thought she might want to-"

It was in that moment Robbie realized he made two grievous errors. The first was taking Mabel's cotton candy. NO ONE  took sweets from Mabel and got away unscathed.

The second was moving his legs in a way that left his groin completely unprotected.

Dipper covered his ears as Robbie let out a  girly scream that could probably be heard for miles. Mabel reeled her foot back so fast Dipper had barely seen it move, and a quick glance around told him no one else had seen the kick.

Robbie fell to the ground, clutching his jewels in his hands and squealing in pain. He tried saying something, but he was evidently beyond words at that point. Beyond standing, too. He crawled off in shame, probably going to look for an ice pack.

Dipper, despite himself, winced in empathy for Robbie. He knew from experience how hard Mabel's kicks were. And getting hit there ... Dipper imagined Robbie's grandkids,grandkids felt that one.

Mabel let out an annoyed huff. "He is such a jerk."

"Yeah," Dipper agreed with a nod, "but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs."

"Think I got you covered there, Bro," Mabel said. "And don't worry. If anything else happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the-OH MY GOSH, A PIG!!!"

"Wait, what?" Dipper asked, before realizing his sister was already gone. "Thanks, Mabel..."

"Hey dude!" Wendy called as she rejoined the younger boy. "Did you hear that weird screaming noise? Wonder what that was."

Dipper (barely) managed to repress a snicker. "Probably just some little kid who saw Stan."

Wendy laughed. "Oh wow, bet they're havin' nightmares tonight!"

Dipper laughed too, though for more reasons than Wendy knew.

The two began walking again, chatting about various random things. Though one topic they seemed to go back to a lot was old movies. Evidently their parents were both a bit behind the times when it came to their choice in films, and as such both had gained an appreciation for the classics. Or rather, the so-bad-they're-good classics.

"Dude, you should totally come over to my house some time," Wendy said. "We can watch crummy old movies and make fun of them. It'll be like our own MST3K."

"MS... what?" Dipper asked, confused.

"Mystery Science Theater 3000," Wendy said. "You've never heard of that?"

Dipper shook his head, still very confused.

"Well, I know the first thing we're watching then," Wendy said. "I've got the whole first season on DVD."

Dipper just assumed he would understand when he saw it.

... Wait a minute.

Wendy had just asked him to come over.

To her house.

To hang out.

Just the two of them.

...

Dipper.exe stopped responding. We recommend you reboot and try again.

"Whoa, check it out!"

Dipper snapped out his daze and saw Wendy looking at a stuffed animal prize for ball toss game. It was a... a, uh... Dipper didn't really know what it was supposed to be, but that didn't seem to matter to Wendy. She was looking at the thing like she'd struck gold.

"I don't know if it's a duck or a panda," Wendy said, "but I want one!"

Dipper grinned. So Mabel wanted him to seize the moment more? Consider this moment seized.

"My uncle taught me the secret to these games," Dipper stage whispered as he approached the game stand. "You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."

Wendy laughed, holding out her hand for a fist bump. "Nice!"

Dipper bumped her fist, before turning to the carnie running the game. "One ball, please."

"You only get one chance," the worker said.

Dipper quirked an eyebrow. ' One? Don't they usually give three per purchase, or something? Leave it to Grunkle Stan to cheap out on tries in a game, of all things. '

Dipper surveyed the game. Three bottles stacked up in a pyramid. One ball. Dipper needed to knock them all over in one go to win. And from this close, even he should be able to make the shot. He just needed to aim between the two bottom bottles. Knocking them both over would cause the top one to fall. Breathe in, breathe out. Keep your throwing arm loose, focus on your target, and...

Dipper pitched the ball as hard as he could, knowing full well the bottles were likely fastened to the table in some way. Unfortunately, he never got to find out if that was true, as he saw he threw the ball a bit too low. The ball hit the edge of the table and bounced back. Dipper's eyes widened as he saw the ball fly right back at, not himself, but Wendy.

And hit her dead in the eye.

"AH!" Wendy exclaimed. "MY EYE!"

"Oh my gosh!" Dipper panicked. "Oh my gosh! Wendy! Are you okay?"

"Does it look swollen?" she asked, removing her hands to reveal that her eye was already bruising.

Dipper blanched at the sight. "Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!"

Dipper dashed to the icebox at the center of the fair, mind replaying the sight of Wendy getting hit in the eye over and over. It happened again! He was careless, and Wendy got hurt because of it. He resisted the urge to slam his head into something hard, instead grabbing a bag of ice.

He turned back and ran back to the ball toss game, when he bumped into some bald guy in a jumpsuit. The impact caused Dipper to stumble and drop his bag of ice. The bag tore, and the ice spilled all over the grass.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Dipper barked angrily, trying to scrape up the scattered ice cubes.

The bald man scampered off, apparently startled by Dipper's hostility.

Dipper growled in frustration. He managed to get handful of ice, and decided he would just have to run back for a new bag once he got what he could to Wendy. Now, where was she?

"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone."

Dipper froze. ' No... '

"Robbie, thanks," Wendy said as she rested the snow cone against her black eye. "That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time," Robbie said with a satisfied smirk (though Dipper felt his own small bit of satisfaction noting that Robbie's voice was an octave higher than normal)

"Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you... we've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"

Any satisfaction Dipper might've been feeling vanished in an instant. ' No... '

"Yeah, I guess so," Wendy answered with a shrug.

Dipper's world shattered.

"Sweet!" Robbie exclaimed with a fist pump.

"Look, Dipper!" Mabel called as she ran up to her brother with a pig in her arms. "I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'I'm calling him that because he waddles! Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!"

"Everything is different now," Dipper mumbled.

"Hey, that's what I said when I got Waddles," Mabel said. "I wonder if it means something? Like the strings of fate are all tied together in this one moment. Waddles, the Pig of Fate!"

Mabel spun around happily, giggling waddles as she did, before finally noticing Dipper's dejected state.

"What are you lookin' at?" she asked.

In response, Dipper simply pointed. Mabel looked, and saw Wendy and Robbie getting on a ride together. What solidified Dipper's broken look was that the ride was the "Tunnel of Love and Corndogs" (one of those things was more significant than the other).

"Oh..."

At Sunset

Dipper sat on a bench, mood not having improved in the slightest. He had seen Wendy and Robbie spend the whole day together, the red head seeming to have completely forgotten about him. What should have been a day that let Dipper grow closer to the girl instead only served to alienate him from her. That hurt in a way that made him want to punch people.

"Hate to say I told you so, Bro," Mabel said, as she sat down next to him, Waddles resting in her lap.

Dipper shot his sister a freezing, cold glare.

"Right, not the time," Mabel said. "Sorry."

Dipper sighed. " Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"

"Nope! I do everything right, all the time!" Mabel said cheerily, but with a noticeable hint of underlying sarcasm. "Of course I do, nobody's perfect. But obsessing over all the things you could've done doesn't help anyone."

"But that was just one thing" Dipper insisted. "I mean, Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for-"

Dipper then gasped. "That  bald guy!"

Mabel looked, and saw a bald guy with glasses in a grey jumpsuit,looking around. She was pretty sure she'd seen him around the fair a few times, but didn't recognize him from the town. 

But considering the way Dipper was stomping up to the poor guy, Mabel figured if she didn't go hold her brother back they definitely wouldn't be seeing him around unless they went to a hospital.

"Hey you!. Baldy!" Dipper yelled angrily. "You ruined my chance with Wendy!"

"Huh?" the bald man said, startled from being addressed.

"Don't 'huh' me!" Dipper spat. "I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around, or something?"

"Why are you bald?" Mabel asked, trying to diffuse the situation with jokes. " Are you a character from a video game or something?"

"AAAAAGH!" Baldy (Basics) screamed. "My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode!"

He pushed a button on his watch, and his jumpsuit suddenly changed into a random assortment of colors like green. Before flickering between various images from around town, like a school he even had a ruler for a second.

"Color match!" Baldy (Basics) cried out. "Initiating color match! Come on, darn it!"

The bizarre sight was enough to snap Dipper out of his rage, his curiosity taking over. Mabel was equally confused at the sight.

"That's so cool!" Mabel exclaimed. "Are you from the future or something?"

"Uh, NO!!" the bald man said as his jumpsuit went back to normal. "Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!"

At that, Tool belt threw a wet piece of paper onto Mabel's face. The girl slowly peeled the damp parchment off, and looked at it with a confused expression.

" this is a baby wipe..." she said.

"All right, you've cornered me," baldy said with a tired sigh. "I'm... a time traveler."

Well. That's not something you hear everyday.

A thought suddenly occurred to Dipper.

"So wait a minute," the boy asked. "If you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"

"That's... kinda how it works," the time traveler said with a shrug.

Dipper glanced behind the bald man, and saw Robbie and Wendy riding the Ferris Wheel together.

"Can I borrow it?" Dipper asked.

"What?" future man asked, caught off guard by the request. "Hell No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment."

Dipper eyed the device, not really sure what to make of it. "But that's a tape measure."

"You shut your ugly time-mouth!"  the baldy shouted.

"... This making any sense to you?" Dipper asked his sister.

"I think he's just crazy," Mabel responded.

"Oh!" Tool belt exclaimed indignantly. "You don't believe me?"

Future guy pulled out the tape from the measure a distance, and released it. In an instant, the man vanished with a bright flash. The twins' eyes widened in surprise, and a few seconds later there was another flash. The time traveler was was back, this time wearing a Shakespeare style outfit.

"Guess where I was!" he declared.

"Whoa!" the twins exclaimed.

"That's right!" Tool belt said. "15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second."

He disappeared again, and a moment later was back, back in his regular jumpsuit. Well, regular but slightly on fire.

"Ah!" he cried. "Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!" he said smacking his bald head.

"So, who are you again?" Mabel asked.

"Blendin Blandin," he introduced himself. "Time Anomaly Removal Crew year Twenty Sñeventy-Twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired..."

Blendin sat down on a bench and rested his head in his hands and let out an exhausted breath. Dipper saw the man, clearly worn out, and a devious grin appeared on his face.

"... You know," Dipper said, with as much sympathy he could muster. Which surprisingly to no one, was not much. "you sound like you could use a break."

"Definitely, definitely," Mabel said, catching on to what her brother was doing. "Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

"You know what? What the heck? I'm deserve  it!" Blendin said as he stood up, before casting one look back at the kids. "But I've got my eye on you!.."

The twins looked at each other, and smirked.

Blendin walked up to a ride operated by Soo's, and asked, "One please."

"Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride," Soo's said. "One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."

Blendin hesitated for a minute, before giving the handyman his tool belt. "Guard it with your life."

"I will watch it like a hawk, dude," Soo's said.

Blendin nodded, and walked over the the spinning barrel ride. He got in, and Soos started up the ride. Blendin was so busy spinning on the ride, he didn't notice Soos set the time traveler's belt down and looked away. The twins used this opportunity to swipe the tape measure time machine right under Soo's' nose, and ran off unnoticed.

"Like a hawk!" Soo's called to Blendin. 'more like pigeon if you ask me' Dipper said, as his eyes rolled

Back in the shack

The twins sat at a poker table in the Mystery Shack, looking at the measuring/time  device.

"Here it is, Mabel," Dipper said to his sister. "Our ticket to any moment in history."

"Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" Mabel said.

" Wait What?  Hell No!" Dipper countered. "We gotta be smart about this. That Blandin guy just said paradoxes were a thing. We can't afford to make any mistakes with this. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that base ball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out. Minimal impact to the timeline."

"I'm coming, too!" Mabel declared. "I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles."

Dipper pulled out the tape enough to send them back to the afternoon.

"See you later," he said.

"See you earlier!" Mabel corrected. "Ha yuk yuk yuk!" Dipper grimaced, this was gonna be a long day. Or was it a short day? hey man nobody knows with time.

Dipper released the tape and high fived Mabel at the same time. For what felt like only a moment, the twins saw reality rewind itself around them, before everything came to a stop, then began to move forward again.

Dipper peeked outside and saw the earlier crowd back, the fairgrounds bustling as the sun was once again high in the sky. Mabel soon joined him, and they looked at each other with wide grins.

"Do over?" Mabel asked her brother.

Dipper searched the crowd, before his eyes landed on Wendy who was looking at the miss-matched stuffed animal prizes.

He nodded. "Do over."

Mabel ran off to win her pig again, while Dipper made his way back to Wendy.

"Hey," Dipper said to get the red head's attention.

"There you are," Wendy said. "Where you disappear off to?"

"Mabel wanted to show me her new pig friend" Dipper shrugged as he answered.

"Neat," Wendy said, completely unfazed by the statement, before pointing to the stuffed creatures. "Hey, check it out. I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one."

"One ball, please," Dipper said to the Carnie.

"You only get one chance," the Carnie said as he gave Dipper the baseball.

' That's what you think... ' Dipper thought.

Dipper considered his next actions carefully. Last time the ball had hit the stand and bounced back. His terrible aim had really done him good, in the previous timeline, but how could he fix that? It wasn't like he had been aiming at the stand.

It was at that moment Dipper remembered the night in the Dusk 2 Dawn store. He had managed to catch a projectile out of mid air and sling it back to Robbie in one fluid motion, all on instinct. Maybe that's what he needed to do: stop over thinking things. Yeah, that might work.

Dipper closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, he quickly snapped his arm forward, rocketing the ball right into the bottles. Dipper smirked as all three bottle were knocked clean over, but that smirk didn't last long. The ball flew into the back wall of the tent, which caused it to be bounced back.

And to Dipper's disbelief, it crashed into Wendy's eye once again.

"AAAAHH!" Wendy exclaimed. "MY EYE!"

' What!?! ' Dipper thought, shocked.

"Does it look swollen?" Wendy asked.

Dipper said he would go get ice, but he really ran back to the Shack and pulled out the Time Tape, as he'd decided to call it.

"What're you doing' in here, Bro-Bro?" Mabel asked as she walked in, feeding Waddles a caramel apple.

"The exact same thing happened, Mabel," Dipper said. "It was weird."

"Ooh, maybe it's a time-curse," Mabel suggested. "Waddles, can you say 'time-curse'?"

Waddles let out two oinks that, Dipper had to admit, did sound a lot like "time curse".

"Ooooooohhhhhhh!" Mabel gushed, hugging her pig. "Your face is so fat!"

"... Is it possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes?" Dipper wondered aloud.

"I dunno," Mabel said with a shrug. "Maybe? Maybe you just need to try again? Third time's the charm!"

"Sure, okay," Dipper said with a nod, pulling out the tape. "How hard could it be?"

Later

As it turned out, changing time was very hard, and the third time was not the charm.

Or the fourth.

Or the fifth.

Dipper wasn't one easily put off by things. It took a lot to freak him out, but this was getting legitimately spooky. Four times now he'd tried changing the past, and all four times Wendy had been hit in the eye. No matter what Dipper had done to change the outcome, everything was the same. It looked like Mabel's "time curse" idea was more spot on than he'd thought.

Dipper gripped his forehead in frustration. This junk was starting to give him a migraine.

Okay, what else could he do? He'd tried aiming at different targets, different throwing styles, different positions. Maybe he really should try hitting the carnie in the head...

Dipper drew out various different rough sketches of different strategies with a sharpie on a popcorn maker. But Dipper wasn't hopeful about any of his plans. If he could change time so easily, he'd have done it by now. 

The big problem was he just didn't understand how time worked. Could time even be changed at all? Clearly it could, he did different things each time, but the major events were unchanged. Did that mean Wendy getting hit in the eye was a fixed point in time? Something that couldn't be changed, no matter how hard he tried?

Darn it, his migraine was getting worse.

"It doesn't make any sense," Dipper spoke aloud. "Why can't I change this event?"

"Face it, Dipper," Mabel said as she played with her pig. "You're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles."

Dipper frowned. He turned to face his sister, holding up the Time Tape as he did so.

"Then what about this?" he asked. "What's the point of having some time travelling clean up crew if time can't be changed in any significant way?"

Mabel shrugged. "I dunno. You're the one who watched all those sci-fi movies."

"Those are just movies, Mabel," Dipper said. "That stuff's all either theoretical, or completely made up. It won't help me figure out how to actually time travel right."

"Welp," Mabel said, rising to her feet. "Only way to figure this out is to do it more, right? Let's give it another go!"

Dipper sighed. "Alright, alright. Another time through is another thing I learn, I guess. And more frustratio-"

Dipper's comment was cut off by an unexpected pain in the back of his head. Spots exploded in the boy's view, and he fell to his knees. Mabel's eyes widened in surprise, looking down at her brother. She saw a baseball come to a stop just behind him. She figured that was probably what had hit him, but who had thrown it?

Dipper tried blinking the dark dots out of his vision. He held his head in his hands, already knowing he would feel that for a week at least. He was pretty sure he had a concussion, and- Wait. He was holding his head in both of his hands. Where was the Time Tape?

He looked briefly for it, but couldn't find it. That is until he heard Mabel gasp at something behind him. Dipper turned his head around to see what she was looking at, and saw the Time Tape.

In the hand of a smiling Gideon Gleeful.

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